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Help, What is my Gender? (Male at birth)


MacePengu

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I currently think I'm a Demiboy, but I'm not 100% sure. 

 

-I prefer to have female friends, because I just happen to get along with girls better than guys. I'm a little awkward around males.

-If someone were to call me a "Boy", then I would feel a little uneasy, but at the same time I wouldn't really care. However, I DON'T feel comfortable if someone considers me a girl, even though I'm more feminine than masculine.

-Growing up, I was more interested in "Girl Toys", like Barbies. "Boy Toys" always bored me easily.

-As far as my clothing style goes, I prefer something stylish/modern-day (Like a flannel shirt, with some converse) 

-I'm also really into Fine Arts, most preferably acting.

 

You're probably going to need more information, so feel free to ask. Otherwise, please help me.

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:) Hi! I like your penguin avatar.

 

Do you feel comfortable with, or prefer, others using non-binary pronouns to refer to you, like "they," rather than as male or a boy? If you do, then you'd be considered non-binary (i.e. preferring others not to refer to you as either binary gender.)

 

Some non-binary people like others using "they" pronouns to refer to them, along with their assigned gender at birth, so there's that option, as well.

 

But you prefer being referred to only as a boy or male, rather than as a non-binary pronoun, then it sounds to me like you might be a cis gender-nonconforming boy or male, which just means that you prefer others to call you a boy or male, even though you don't fit the gender stereotype for your gender, like other boy/males.

 

^_^ I hope that helps and isn't confusing.

 

 

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7 hours ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

:) Hi! I like your penguin avatar.

 

Do you feel comfortable with, or prefer, others using non-binary pronouns to refer to you, like "they," rather than as male or a boy? If you do, then you'd be considered non-binary (i.e. preferring others not to refer to you as either binary gender.)

 

Some non-binary people like others using "they" pronouns to refer to them, along with their assigned gender at birth, so there's that option, as well.

 

But you prefer being referred to only as a boy or male, rather than as a non-binary pronoun, then it sounds to me like you might be a cis gender-nonconforming boy or male, which just means that you prefer others to call you a boy or male, even though you don't fit the gender stereotype for your gender, like other boy/males.

 

^_^ I hope that helps and isn't confusing.

 

 

Thank you!

 

When it comes to pronouns, I really don't care if I'm called "they" or "he". I would feel uncomfortable if I were called "she"

 

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butterflydreams

Are you maybe just a more feminine guy? There's nothing wrong with that, we just don't have an easy word for it like we do for the AFAB equivalent, "tomboy". Most of what you listed are stereotype kinds of things. Gender really isn't about your personality or preferences in things, it's deeper than that. 

 

I'd also pose to you the questions I always ask people who are unsure of their gender and that's, what do you want to do about it? What are you hoping to gain or change by identifying as whatever you're considering identifying as? For example, what does identifying as a demiboy do for you? It's a rhetorical question, you don't have to answer, just something to think about. 

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Just Somebody
6 hours ago, butterflydreams said:

Are you maybe just a more feminine guy? There's nothing wrong with that, we just don't have an easy word for it like we do for the AFAB equivalent, "tomboy". Most of what you listed are stereotype kinds of things. Gender really isn't about your personality or preferences in things, it's deeper than that. 

 

I'd also pose to you the questions I always ask people who are unsure of their gender and that's, what do you want to do about it? What are you hoping to gain or change by identifying as whatever you're considering identifying as? For example, what does identifying as a demiboy do for you? It's a rhetorical question, you don't have to answer, just something to think about. 

The opposite equivalent of a tomboy would be "sissy" boy.

 

Anyway he could be just a gender non-conforming (gnc) boy,  by that logic he could be a sissy or an genderqueer boy.

 

 

He could also be non-binary,  anyway,  you are whatever you wanna be called, the reason  you wanna be called doesn't matter,  so keep being yourself.

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butterflydreams
9 hours ago, Just Somebody said:

The opposite equivalent of a tomboy would be "sissy" boy.

As far as I know, that’s a derogatory term. It certainly doesn’t have equally neutral/positive connotations to tomboy. 

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Honestly, I think it's entirely possible for two people to basically experience the same thing and still identify their genders differently.

 

My relationship with my gender is primarily medical, concerning the comfort with my body. My brain was not designed to function with estrogen as its dominant hormone, and by taking testosterone and surgically fixing what testosterone couldn't undo, my mental health really improved. None of this is to say that my dysphoria was 100% physical, but the social dysphoria often connects to its physical counterpart.

 

I am a musician, educator, and scholar, and I don't fit a lot of conventional ideas of masculinity. My presentation is quite gender-conforming, but the attentiveness to my dress can be read as somewhat effeminate. I deeply value empathy and emotional intelligence in my daily life and I'm not someone who is particularly fixated on sports, sex, or physical prowess. (The most alienated I ever felt in my life was when I pursued my master's degree in business. Neither gender extreme clicked with me, and I was very clearly an oddity in the presence of my colleagues.) If I were a brain in a jar, perhaps I would come off as nonbinary. However, that brain in a jar relies in part on sex hormones to function, and my brain was built to run on testosterone. That is why I identify as a binary man despite being a bit gender nonconforming in my actions and demeanor. I feel more comfortable being fast and loose with the definition of "man" than I do trying to redefine myself based on abstract concepts of the mind, but would never fault someone who does not share this same attitude.

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Just Somebody
13 hours ago, butterflydreams said:

As far as I know, that’s a derogatory term. It certainly doesn’t have equally neutral/positive connotations to tomboy. 

Pretty sure "tomboy" is also derogatory anyway.

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2 hours ago, Just Somebody said:

Pretty sure "tomboy" is also derogatory anyway.

Not necessarily. I've only heard it as a somewhat neutral thing that people react to. Some even wear it as a badge of pride.  Sometimes, there's an expectation for AFAB people to "outgrow" the whole tomboy mentality, but it's rarely something that parents actively discourage, especially compared to how people react to feminine behavior in AMAB children. People tend to be far more cool with AFAB people taking on masculine characteristics than they are with AMAB people taking on feminine ones.

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