HeyyaHanna

Lithromantic with some questions

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HeyyaHanna

Okay, this is my first time on this site and I recently learned about the term lithromantic. AND I COMPLETELY FEEL LIKE I IDENTIFY WITH THIS

I was so relieved when I found it, I honestly wanted to burst into tears. I had been wanting a relationship so bad, falling for one person after another, girls and guys. Then I started dating this boy and it was great... until it wasn't. I found myself uncomfortable when he tried to do coupley things like PDA or even when it was just us to the point that I literally couldn't stand it and I didn't know why, so I broke it off. He was not happy to say the least, but I couldn't provide him with any logical answer as to why I broke up with him, I was just as at a loss as he was.

     Then I heard about lithromantics and how the love relationships in theory, but when they get into one, they just push the other away and I knew the feeling and now that I know I'm not alone, I'm pretty excited... but what now? Am I doomed to never have a successful relationship? Can I never have the one thing I want so badly? If someone could provide advice or experience, I would greatly appreciate it, Thank you!!!!

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Lichley

I suggest what you look for is someone you start off with romantic feelings for that develops into a squish (platonic crush - no romantic or sexual desire, but everything else) and have a QPR (queer platonic relationship- sharing your life with a kindred soul) with them.

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HeyyaHanna
10 hours ago, Lichley said:

I suggest what you look for is someone you start off with romantic feelings for that develops into a squish (platonic crush - no romantic or sexual desire, but everything else) and have a QPR (queer platonic relationship- sharing your life with a kindred soul) with them.

Wow, I'm going to be completely honest, if you didn't give definitions for the words, I'd be extremely lost. Thank you so much! I'm so new to this, I don't think "newbie" is extreme enough, I didn't even know there was such thing as a romantic orientation! So thanks again for your help

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Lichley

Not a problem @HeyyaHanna It's all about finding out new words and realising - oh, there's a word for that. I had no idea what any of he terms meant when I found AVEN, so I watched a whole load of YouTube videos by Ash Hardell, and just tried to learn the language as much as possible. If in doubt, google it :P 

Here, take these :) 

Ash hardell's entire ABCs of LGBT. Don't have to watch it all, just something to look into, especially the relationships one and the one on asexuality. 

Sketchcomic - types of Attraction

 

 

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HeyyaHanna

@Lichley Thanks again! I would be very lost if it weren't for AVEN and the people here, I really appreciate everything and will probably watch all of those videos in one fell swoop

 

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AirPower

I know how you feel (I identify as lithromantic as well), but don't just hold on to the term, like you have no power over this. I think (hope) that if we want, we could change our romantic orientation. Of course it's cool if you're happy with it, I'm just saying don't take this as a given that you can't change. If you want to chat about this, you can write me a PM here, I'm a newbie as well and I can't get enough of reading other lithromantics' experiences :D 

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Srslydunno

I might be an lithromantic, but I never really wanted to have a relationship, I don't see its point. I've tried relationships a few times, just out of curiosity and hated it. Even when somebody called me 'girlfriend', or said that we're a couple I automatically felt like somebody took my freedom and I was suffocating. Not to mention hugging. Somebody described hugging me as 'hugging a pertified cat, that will kill you when you let go' - I literally get that tense, when somebody hugs me

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