I may be transgender

[em3]

How do I know?  When I was little, I prayed once to become a girl.  I still just think being a girl would be great. I dont want to be a woman as much as i want to be a lad or dude or boy, though... I love being those masculine concepts. ITs weird because I love being dude, prince charming, ect.... but i also want to be a girl. anyone relate?

[RandyR]

I personally am not transgender however I know a few transgender people

 

Gender doesn't have to be one or the other, I know someone who sits in the middle of male and female so don't worry about trying to be male or female in everything, you can feel like a boy sometimes and a girl or something else altogether at other times and that's okay

 

not sure if any of that helps but that is what I understand from the people I know

[Taylor Lilith]

Woohoo!  I used to do this all the time.  Cis means your gender matches your assigned sex at birth.  Repeat the following line,

I am a man, I am most definitely cisgender.

 

Do it like you mean it.

[em3]

7 hours ago, TaylorWaffle said:

Woohoo!  I used to do this all the time.  Cis means your gender matches your assigned sex at birth.  Repeat the following line,

I am a man, I am most definitely cisgender.

 

Do it like you mean it.

Interesting.  What exactly does this post insinuate?

[Just Somebody]

Well, gender identity works like this "what I wanna be called"  and that's it, it can be fluid and change over time, there's infinite ways to be a man, to be a woman or to be neither or all. Not all people are equal and there's no rules to gender.

[Taylor Lilith]

5 hours ago, em3 said:

Interesting.  What exactly does this post insinuate?

I call it "the trans test". It's insinuating there's power in words. That self application of a word that does or does not apply will make you uncomfortable or incapable of completing the sentence. Unlike most people that take this test you may require a second question because most people when they want to be both at the same time aren't androgynous, they're bigender. 

 

May I enquire as to the results?

[Taylor Lilith]

It's similar to another person misgendering you, except self application is ever so much more powerful. Changing the language in my head reduced the dysphoria by leaps and bounds.  

[Tortuga]

yeah, and I can attest to how well it works. 

[em3]

41 minutes ago, TaylorWaffle said:

It's similar to another person misgendering you, except self application is ever so much more powerful. Changing the language in my head reduced the dysphoria by leaps and bounds.  

Thank you for your posts.  I am able to say the sentence.  I really don't know whats up with me.  I don't exactly want to be a girl.  Definitely don't want to be a physical girl, (edit, at least 90% of the time I don't think about my body,) and I don't like the idea of being a transgender.  I am not the type of personality to cross dress in public, ever. I suppose bigender is interesting, and I may want to identify that way instead.  How would you differentiate that from androgenous? I have no clue whatsoever about bigender. please enlighten me.

 

I feel like the whole gender identity thing doesn't apply to me only because I am not interested in using it. Its the same way with psychological labels like creativity and intelligence. They exist in part because of historical and societal investment in the concepts, although science finds simililar stats corroborating the existence of useless nondescript dichotomies like visuospatial working memory ability, which people never use.... Like, yes, I am not comfortable with being a macho man, but I love being a masculine dude, knight, prince charming... haha.  Yeah, I don't think I need to worry about it. But my main concern is that I still sometimes get a strong disphoria where I really feel anguish over not being born female. Like, it would have fit me better.  Its weird. abstract.

[Taylor Lilith]

Sorry, yeah. Second repeat after me. 

 

I am most definitely a woman. 

 

If you can't repeat that, you're probably genderfluid. If you can you're probably bigender. 

[Taylor Lilith]

22 minutes ago, em3 said:

Thank you for your posts.  I am able to say the sentence.  I really don't know whats up with me.  I don't exactly want to be a girl.  Definitely don't want to be a physical girl, (edit, at least 90% of the time I don't think about my body,) and I don't like the idea of being a transgender.  I am not the type of personality to cross dress in public, ever. I suppose bigender is interesting, and I may want to identify that way instead.  How would you differentiate that from androgenous? I have no clue whatsoever about bigender. please enlighten me.

Bigender is the feeling of two genders simultaneously. Androgynous is a mixture of the two. Androgynous is only one gender. Given that you are unsure and that the way you talk isn't entirely how men talk I don't think you're 100% male. And everyone hates trans at first. It's why the test is, I am what I was born not, I am transgender 

[Just Somebody]

1 minute ago, TaylorWaffle said:

Bigender is the feeling of two genders simultaneously. Androgynous is a mixture of the two. Androgynous is only one gender. Given that you are unsure and that the way you talk isn't entirely how men talk I don't think you're 100% male. And everyone hates trans at first. It's why the test is, I am what I was born not, I am transgender 

I think they're referring to androgynous as a gender expression not an gender identity.

[Taylor Lilith]

7 minutes ago, Just Somebody said:

I think they're referring to androgynous as a gender expression not an gender identity.

Perhaps?  I thought their gender last night on their profile was androgynous 

[em3]

3 hours ago, TaylorWaffle said:

Perhaps?  I thought their gender last night on their profile was androgynous 

You are correct.  My gender on here is androgynous because I have not researched any of the gender expressions and I only identified as androgynous because a paragraph which presented it as someone identifying as both.  You can check out my previous posts if you want to look at how I write in more depth. 

[em3]

3 hours ago, Just Somebody said:

I think they're referring to androgynous as a gender expression not an gender identity.

What is the difference?

[em3]

3 hours ago, TaylorWaffle said:

Sorry, yeah. Second repeat after me. 

 

I am most definitely a woman. 

 

If you can't repeat that, you're probably genderfluid. If you can you're probably bigender. 

I can repeat both sentences without any difficulties.  So, bigender? How is bigender different from genderfluid?

[Taylor Lilith]

1 minute ago, em3 said:

What is the difference?

Usually the way I describe it is drag queens are usually cis male. Gender and gender expression aren't linked that much. 

 

Let me go find something 

[Just Somebody]

3 minutes ago, em3 said:

What is the difference?

Gender expression is how you dress, behave, how your body looks like, etc. It's what can be seen by others regardless how you exist.

Ex.: feminine boy, tomboyish girl, androgynous girl, unisexy boy, genderqueer woman, masculine non-binary,  feminine non-binary, genderqueer non-binary,   etc

 

Gender identity is what you call yourself,  is the box/word you think that fits you better.

Ex.: man, woman, agender,  genderfluid,  neutrois,  androgyne,  multigender, non-binary , etc

 

 

[Just Somebody]

2 minutes ago, em3 said:

I can repeat both sentences without any difficulties.  So, bigender? How is bigender different from genderfluid?

Not all bi-genders are genderfluid (change from a gender identity to other) and not all genderfluids are bi-gender  (some have more than 2 gender identities they flow in btw).

 

But yeah,  you can use them as synonymous depending the case.

[Taylor Lilith]

6 minutes ago, em3 said:

I can repeat both sentences without any difficulties.  So, bigender? How is bigender different from genderfluid?

So, in my experience, yes bigender.  Because when you are androgynous you are both not one or the other.  That confusion you are expressing is often a trait I see in people who are agender or experiencing multiple genders at once.  Not only one, such as androgynous.

 

Genderfluid is going between genders.  I have never had dysphoria during a period of bigender.  It is possible that you are genderfluid because of the intense dysphoria you sometimes feel.  Next time you are feeling dysphoric repeat the "trans test" above.  You may find you are only a woman at the time.  That would make you genderfluid.

[Taylor Lilith]

8 minutes ago, Just Somebody said:

Not all bi-genders are genderfluid (change from a gender identity to other) and not all genderfluids are bi-gender  (some have more than 2 gender identities they flow in btw).

 

But yeah,  you can use them as synonymous depending the case.

Or you know ... like the massive amount I do.  I do 3 seperate types of bigender.  I just don't want to confuse people with a lot of new terms.  I have never done a trigender and my gender neutral is 50/50 other than that basically everything goes.  I have a friend who told me, "You're so damn fluid".

[Just Somebody]

5 minutes ago, TaylorWaffle said:

Or you know ... like the massive amount I do.  I do 3 seperate types of bigender.  I just don't want to confuse people with a lot of new terms.  I have never done a trigender and my gender neutral is 50/50 other than that basically everything goes.  I have a friend who told me, "You're so damn fluid".

Well, yeah, there's tri-gender genderfluids,  bi-gender genderfluids,  poly-gender genderfluids.

 

even though genderfluid is an multigender non-binary Transgender identity, not all multigenders are genderfluid.  Some bi-genders are man and woman at once, aka the androgynes.

 

[em3]

27 minutes ago, Just Somebody said:

Gender expression is how you dress, behave, how your body looks like, etc. It's what can be seen by others regardless how you exist.

Ex.: feminine boy, tomboyish girl, androgynous girl, unisexy boy, genderqueer woman, masculine non-binary,  feminine non-binary, genderqueer non-binary,   etc

 

Gender identity is what you call yourself,  is the box/word you think that fits you better.

Ex.: man, woman, agender,  genderfluid,  neutrois,  androgyne,  multigender, non-binary , etc

 

 

Hm, so my gender identity would be male when I'm around other people, but secretly, I would prefer to be genderless... is that an indication i am actually repressing a desire to be female? I am totally new to all this, so please bear with me... Like, I kinda feel like I would prefer if there were no such thing as gender. I've always strongly felt that.  Similar to how I feel about sex. I'm a very spiritual person. Very.  I want soul, not necessarily traditional categories of male or female or hot or sexy or whatever.

 

27 minutes ago, TaylorWaffle said:

Usually the way I describe it is drag queens are usually cis male. Gender and gender expression aren't linked that much. 

 

Let me go find something 

Woah, so cis men are drag queens? What? I am lost lol.  but that is interesting... very interesting.  I am not the type to do drag. I heard one male friend say he wanted to do drag for fun and I honestly do not get weirded out by much, but when he said that, I realized that drag is one thing I don't really understand.  

So that would be gender expression, whereas they are still gender identity of male.

17 minutes ago, TaylorWaffle said:

So, in my experience, yes bigender.  Because when you are androgynous you are both not one or the other.  That confusion you are expressing is often a trait I see in people who are agender or experiencing multiple genders at once.  Not only one, such as androgynous.

 

Genderfluid is going between genders.  I have never had dysphoria during a period of bigender.  It is possible that you are genderfluid because of the intense dysphoria you sometimes feel.  Next time you are feeling dysphoric repeat the "trans test" above.  You may find you are only a woman at the time.  That would make you genderfluid.

Could I be agender?  Like I said I mostly focus on spirit of a person, almost obbsessively. I like to forget about gender when I find a soul I appreciate.  and its kindred spirit, but never romantic like a soul mate. I am the most aromantic person out there.  

 

Edit so im bigender not androgenous because i feel like i am both, whereas androgenous is feeling like you are a combination? because i am less of a combo but still definnitely would describe it as a combo which causes disphoria. please let me know why androgens dont feel disphoria exactly.

[Just Somebody]

5 minutes ago, em3 said:

Hm, so my gender identity would be male when I'm around other people, but secretly, I would prefer to be genderless... is that an indication i am actually repressing a desire to be female? I am totally new to all this, so please bear with me... Like, I kinda feel like I would prefer if there were no such thing as gender. I've always strongly felt that.  Similar to how I feel about sex. I'm a very spiritual person. Very.  I want soul, not necessarily traditional categories of male or female or hot or sexy or whatever.

 

Woah, so cis men are drag queens? What? I am lost lol.  but that is interesting... very interesting.  I am not the type to do drag. I heard one male friend say he wanted to do drag for fun and I honestly do not get weirded out by much, but when he said that, I realized that drag is one thing I don't really understand.  

So that would be gender expression, whereas they are still gender identity of male.

Could I be agender?  Like I said I mostly focus on spirit of a person, almost obbsessively. I like to forget about gender when I find a soul I appreciate.  and its kindred spirit, but never romantic like a soul mate. I am the most aromantic person out there.  

 

Edit so im bigender not androgenous because i feel like i am both, whereas androgenous is feeling like you are a combination? because i am less of a combo but still definnitely would describe it as a combo which causes disphoria. please let me know why androgens dont feel disphoria exactly.

Lol, I think they were saying that cis people can crossdress and be cis bc crossdressing is an gender expression.... anyway you could be a cis guy who likes to crossdress and is also androgynous.

 

Idk would you feel happier calling yourself a girl right now ? You can. If that fits right. Say "I'm a girl" and you enjoy it. Then you're technically a girl for the moment as your gender identity.

But anyway you can also crossdress as a girl while you're enjoying being a boy. 

[Taylor Lilith]

4 minutes ago, Just Somebody said:

Well, yeah, there's tri-gender genderfluids,  bi-gender genderfluids,  poly-gender genderfluids.

 

even though genderfluid is an multigender non-binary Transgender identity, not all multigenders are genderfluid.  Some bi-genders are man and woman at once, aka the androgynes.

 

I have yet to meet a stable bigender person.  I have met stable gender neutrals.  By stable I mean not genderfluid.

2 minutes ago, em3 said:

Hm, so my gender identity would be male when I'm around other people, but secretly, I would prefer to be genderless... is that an indication i am actually repressing a desire to be female? I am totally new to all this, so please bear with me... Like, I kinda feel like I would prefer if there were no such thing as gender. I've always strongly felt that.  Similar to how I feel about sex. I'm a very spiritual person. Very.  I want soul, not necessarily traditional categories of male or female or hot or sexy or whatever.

 

Woah, so cis men are drag queens? What? I am lost lol.  but that is interesting... very interesting.  I am not the type to do drag. I heard one male friend say he wanted to do drag for fun and I honestly do not get weirded out by much, but when he said that, I realized that drag is one thing I don't really understand.  

So that would be gender expression, whereas they are still gender identity of male.

Could I be agender?  Like I said I mostly focus on spirit of a person, almost obbsessively. I like to forget about gender when I find a soul I appreciate.  and its kindred spirit, but never romantic like a soul mate. I am the most aromantic person out there.  

It is possible that your gender is affected by the genders around you.  Mine will adapt to the room, it's part of what makes me so good in social situations.  I am like a gender chameleon.  So depending on the gender of your company, yes you can totally change.

 

Yes, drag queens usually are cis male but dress in feminine clothing.

 

Forget about their gender or yours?

 

I call agender the "philosopher gender" because they have no real concept of gender.  It's what makes them easy to spot.  They talk about gender like 1 + 1 = 2 is confusing.  I do it every time I am agender.  Every agender person I have met talks like that.  I've gotten very good at spotting it because I have tracked my gender and helped so many people find theirs.  It's what I would recommend to you, keep a diary or a journal or whatever to write it down. 

 

This is a list I made when I was poligender the first time.  I made it my specific task to misgender myself.  It is a task I have yet to accomplish.  I think it was 8 genders .... anyway, this is a list of the things I was comfortable with, you may and already have proven you are different,

 

Mr Woman -- Bigender and Nuetral

Sir -- Bigender and Male

Ma'am -- Bi and female

He -- Male and bi

She -- female and bi

Daddy mommy -- bi, neutral

Girly girl -- Female and Bi

Manly Man -- Male bi

Neither -- agender

All -- poly

Both -- Neutral (In your case we found bigender as well )

Dude -- Bi and male

Mr man -- male

Mrs man -- N bi

Girl -- demigirl and female

Boy -- Demi boy and male

Mr -- Male

None -- agender

Void -- agender

 

Do this like the trans test.  I am [insert one of the above].  Keep a diary, see if you are fluid.  That list is what I went to go find.

[em3]

3 minutes ago, Just Somebody said:

Lol, I think they were saying that cis people can crossdress and be cis bc crossdressing is an gender expression.... anyway you could be a cis guy who likes to crossdress and is also androgynous.

 

Idk would you feel happier calling yourself a girl right now ? You can. If that fits right. Say "I'm a girl" and you enjoy it. Then you're technically a girl for the moment as your gender identity.

But anyway you can also crossdress as a girl while you're enjoying being a boy. 

Aha, okay, that clicks.  I totally get how I would sometimes cross-dress but still enjoy being a boy.  Hm, so it definitely changes but is mostly a combination of both, and I don't really view it as boy or girl, but again, more a spiritual or emotional expression.  I feel too tender to be a boy sometimes, whereas othertimes, i love being a boy, even in cases where I would feel like I want long hair.  thats part of the confusion for me... the type of man i want to be would be a long haired dude, more like a jesus figure or a mage or an elf than a traditional dude.

[Just Somebody]

Bi-gender can be a synonymous to androgyne  (which is an gender identity for people who are Bi-gender as in being both a man and a woman simultaneously )

 

 an androgyne/bi-gender can have an androgynous gender expression but not all have.

[Taylor Lilith]

1 minute ago, Just Somebody said:

Bi-gender can be a synonymous to androgyne  (which is an gender identity for people who are Bi-gender as in being both a man and a woman simultaneously )

Interesting.  I had never heard that.  Thanks for the info.

[Just Somebody]

1 minute ago, em3 said:

Aha, okay, that clicks.  I totally get how I would sometimes cross-dress but still enjoy being a boy.  Hm, so it definitely changes but is mostly a combination of both, and I don't really view it as boy or girl, but again, more a spiritual or emotional expression.  I feel too tender to be a boy sometimes, whereas othertimes, i love being a boy, even in cases where I would feel like I want long hair.  thats part of the confusion for me... the type of man i want to be would be a long haired dude, more like a jesus figure or a mage or an elf than a traditional dude.

Well gender identities are kind nonsensical,  if you call yourself a guy while wearing girls clothing as gender expression,  then you're crossdressing,  now if you say you're a girl while doing so then that's not crossdressing. 

 

It depends on what you call yourself in the moment.

[Just Somebody]

5 minutes ago, TaylorWaffle said:

Interesting.  I had never heard that.  Thanks for the info.

No problem i guess.

 

 

Sometimes I forget that,  but I'll use myself as an example, I'm genderfluid and technically I'm non-binary/genderqueer-gendered,  transgender and multigender,   all these are synonymous in my case.

 

One of the genders I "float" in BTW is androgyne, but that doesn't mean when I call myself androgyne that I'll be showing an androgynous gender expression.