Jump to content

Why are you repused by sex? TW this thread has sexually explicit content


OHno

Recommended Posts

Hello sex-repulsed aces! I've been doing some soul searching, and time after time I'm left wondering why I'm repulsed by sex. If you're comfortable sharing your own reason I would appreciate hearing it on my road to self discovery! :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith

I dunno if this will help but I figured it out for me.

 

My biology took control of all my functions, put massive effort into something I. did. not. want.  Until finally it finished it's biological task, by orgasming.  Something my brain didn't want. Then I had to lay there with a person who was proud of her "accomplishments" in taking from my body that what I didn't want. 

 

When I was on top, I would whimper almost like I was about to cry when I orgasmed.  In that case it was non-consensual and my brain knew that there was literally nothing that was forcing me to be there.  It's one of the reasons I realize I hated top so much.  I was being raped and not being pinned down or held down for this to happen.  I had an avenue for escape I never took and I hated myself for it.

 

No matter how I got off it didn't matter, I always wanted to throw up and felt like I was covered in slime.

 

I have never been sexually interested in another human being.  I have only ever had sex to make the other person happy.  I have never had consensual sex.  Not being interested at all + doing it anyway  + my body enjoying it + my brain screaming for me to stop = sex revulsion.  Plain and simple, easy peasy.

 

Sorry, yeah ... I'm gonna have to stop there.  Thinking back on 7 years of marriage and nonconsensual sex is making me slimey to even think about actions I took.  So this is what you get.

Link to post
Share on other sites
arekathevampyre

it started small like I feel it is unnecessary and weird and now it is full blown !! Watching those scenes in movies are the worse as it makes me pretty uncomfortable , especially if you cannot fast forward it (at the movies for example) . Yup sums it all up 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith

@arekathevampyre it's fine.  I don't ever have to have sex against my will again, right?  She moved out almost exactly a year ago--1/5/17.  I just am trying not to focus on it too much.

Link to post
Share on other sites
arekathevampyre
2 minutes ago, TaylorWaffle said:

@arekathevampyre it's fine.  I don't ever have to have sex against my will again, right?  She moved out almost exactly a year ago--1/5/17.  I just am trying not to focus on it too much.

Kind of glad she is gone after she did that to you , yeah ? 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith
10 minutes ago, arekathevampyre said:

Kind of glad she is gone after she did that to you , yeah ? 

Yeah, I was glad I didn't find out I was genderfluid with her either.  I can only imagine what chaos would have ensued if I had found I was ace while we were married because it turns out I am repulsed by kissing and handholding too.  Platonic cuddling (I love hugs =3) is cool but everything else makes me actually cringe to think about.

 

She did push when I said "no" a couple times but ... I dunno .. I just went along with it.  I was a "man" and a "husband" therefore must have actually wanted sex.  It's what I was taught ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Link to post
Share on other sites
SithAzathoth WinterDragon

I just find that having someone else's genitals touching me not vary appealing or desirable. I do not find sharing someone else's body fluids is sanitary either. I've never been sexual and I've never desired to even try sex and I've never even masturbated, I hate touching down there, it's not comfortable. Washing there is very uncomfortable when I shower. 

I'm in my late 20s, and the very thought of being sexual repulses me, anything and everything to do with sex repulses me, I only see it as a means to pro create when both in the relationship want children, do know that I'm Norse Heathen and it's thought we all enjoy it, I just never will, I have no "need" and no desire for it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
SithAzathoth WinterDragon
20 minutes ago, TaylorWaffle said:

@arekathevampyre it's fine.  I don't ever have to have sex against my will again, right?  She moved out almost exactly a year ago--1/5/17.  I just am trying not to focus on it too much.

I'm glad she left so you do not have to deal with her disrespect anymore. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith
1 minute ago, Metamorphic WinterDragon said:

I'm glad she left so you do not have to deal with her disrespect anymore. 

Yeah if she could of she would have controlled when I could breath.  When I came off of too much medication and I wouldn't be controlled she moved out.  Stopped a lot of my development sexual ... gender .... social .... but at this point we are derailing the thread over my ex.  We were talking about sex revulsion?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think even sexuals find sex repulsive in the absence of sexual attraction. Come on,the whole mechanics of it and the disgusting bodily fluids that have potenial to be carrying nasty germs,its just right down disgusting.But in sexuals,when they have this sexual attraction,it overrides the disgust and they engage in it anyways. But since the attraction is perpetually missing in asexuals,we will forever by disgusted by sex. 

Just my two cents...

Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
5 minutes ago, lazypanda said:

I think even sexuals find sex repulsive in the absence of sexual attraction. Come on,the whole mechanics of it and the disgusting bodily fluids that have potenial to be carrying nasty germs,its just right down disgusting.But in sexuals,when they have this sexual attraction,it overrides the disgust and they engage in it anyways. But since the attraction is perpetually missing in asexuals,we will forever by disgusted by sex. 

Just my two cents...

You're right that most sexuals wouldn't want sex with someone they're not attracted to, but the physical stuff is less important than the lack of the mental stuff. I'm not talking about compulsive, Romeo and Juliet style love, just a straightforward desire to want to be closer to that person.

 

It's also not, generally, that we 'get over it'. We actively like the bodily fluid stuff. It's part of the intimacy.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith
6 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

You're right that most sexuals wouldn't want sex with someone they're not attracted to, but the physical stuff is less important than the lack of the mental stuff. I'm not talking about compulsive, Romeo and Juliet style love, just a straightforward desire to want to be closer to that person.

 

It's also not, generally, that we 'get over it'. We actively like the bodily fluid stuff. It's part of the intimacy.

Yeah the bodily fluids were fine. I actually felt accomplished when I got her ... arroused. The taste was never so bad either. Man or woman. It was taking part in an action I didn't want to take part of that was the problem for me. 

 

I feel it's better described as follows,

 

Ze: which tastes better, man or woman?

 

Me: Cake

 

Ze: Wait ...  wut? No you have two options, man or woman. No cake. 

 

Me: Starve?

 

For me it isn't about fluids or smells or anything, it's just that any option is better than sex. Every single option. I can't be sexually attracted to people or desire people so any sexual action would be against my desire of none. I only had sex with people to make them happy, while I was screaming at myself to stop. I didn't want it and never did but my partners did. So I did it anyways even though I despised myself for it. 

 

TL;DR: fluids fine, sex when I didn't want it not fine...not fine at all -_-

Link to post
Share on other sites
23 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

 

It's also not, generally, that we 'get over it'. We actively like the bodily fluid stuff. It's part of the intimacy.

You "actively like" the fluids ? 😮

WHYYYY ??? 😕

Nobody likes someone else earwax or saliva....so why this ?? 

I'll never understand sexuals...

*shakes head sadly*

Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
1 minute ago, lazypanda said:

You "actively like" the fluids ? 😮

WHYYYY ??? 😕

Nobody likes someone else earwax or saliva....so why this ?? 

I'll never understand sexuals...

*shakes head sadly*

Because it's part of the whole intimacy thing, wanting to be as physically close as you possibly can, and share your bodies together in a way that you don't with anyone else.

 

Spoiler

If I go down on a woman, part of the joy is my face covered in her juices, because it's part of her. And afterwards, a lot of women like to kiss so they can taste themselves on their partner's lips and tongue - same thing, sharing each other physically. I think it's part of why some women like to swallow, or have their partner cum over them.

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith

My partner is either demi or allo and SHE was disgusted by fluids not the act but I was disgusted by the act not the fluids. 

 

Maybe I thought that's why it was more normal than it was because she would be grossed out afterwards and think it was gross and say so. 

 

It was unfortunately not the same. So I lived repulsed by the action because I thought the things we felt were equivalent. 

 

This is an interesting discussion to me. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith

Also the reason I did these awful things was for the intimacy to make the other person happy and bring us closer. I did things I didn't want to bring us together at any cost. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68

Oh, it's different for everybody, though I'm guessing asexuals are more likely to be grossed out for obvious reasons.

 

@FictoVore. is into some bodily fluid related stuff that I find pretty ewwwww, but each to their own...

Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
1 minute ago, TaylorWaffle said:

Also the reason I did these awful things was for the intimacy to make the other person happy and bring us closer. I did things I didn't want to bring us together at any cost. 

Yeah, that's not good. All morality/blame aside, apart from anything it just doesn't work, because it has the opposite effect on you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
15 minutes ago, TaylorWaffle said:

Also the reason I did these awful things was for the intimacy to make the other person happy and bring us closer. I did things I didn't want to bring us together at any cost. 

@TaylorWaffle Yes, I've done that.  It's a long time ago now.  But sometimes still an ongoing process to realise it's in the past; it is not happening now.  Now it is only memories in my head. And ... I can take it out of my head.

Link to post
Share on other sites
46 minutes ago, lazypanda said:

You "actively like" the fluids ? 😮

WHYYYY ??? 😕

Nobody likes someone else earwax or saliva....so why this ?? 

I'll never understand sexuals...

*shakes head sadly*

Well, regarding saliva, a lot of sexual people and even aces who like to french kiss do like saliva, it's very intimate being to taste the inside of someone else's mouth and swallow their spit. Not for everyone obviously, but many people do love to kiss!!

 

25 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

Oh, it's different for everybody, though I'm guessing asexuals are more likely to be grossed out for obvious reasons.

 

@FictoVore. is into some bodily fluid related stuff that I find pretty ewwwww, but each to their own...

TMI AHEAD!!!! yes I have a fetish mainly for the consumption of urine, spit, sweat, and semen END TMI. Some sexual people find certain things disgusting that other people love!! It's really very personal for every individual :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
Quote

Nobody likes someone else earwax or saliva....so why this ?? 

I just figured this one out. For me, it's specifically related to fluids produced as part of sex. It's part of enjoying your partner's arousal.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith
6 minutes ago, FictoVore. said:

Well, regarding saliva, a lot of sexual people and even aces who like to french kiss do like saliva, it's very intimate being to taste the inside of someone else's mouth and swallow their spit.

Yeah sorry, oh gawd...not this ace. French kissing was up there on my list of disgust. My ex really liked it. All of my exes actually. It was something I tried to actively find ways around. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Taylor Lilith

Not saying it's not something that is fine for everyone else. Just not me. Definitely not me. It's a thread about revulsion so I voiced revulsion. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, TaylorWaffle said:

Yeah sorry, oh gawd...not this ace. French kissing was up there on my list of disgust. My ex really liked it. All of my exes actually. It was something I tried to actively find ways around. 

Yeah it's very common for people to loooove french kissing but I totally understand why there are people who don't like it. And I mean, I can totally understand your revulsion if I imagine doing that with anyone other than my partner.. that's just gross for many reasons (but even the idea of holding hands with an adult who isn't my partner grosses me out!). It's different with my partner though because I am very emotionally close with him which makes that kind of intimacy enjoyable and desirable for me personally ^_^

Link to post
Share on other sites

1) Ew. I find my own private area kind of gross. (Even though I guess it’s not.) Other people’s is worse. I don’t know where they’ve been, when the last time they showered is, who they have been in contact with, or what kind of diseases they have. Even if I knew all of that, it’s still ew to me.

2) This is a big one for me. My private area is my private area. I don’t want anyone in it, it revolts me. I don’t want anything or anyone inside of me. (Other than, you know, food and water and stuff.) That just feels wrong.

 

That doesn’t even fully describe it. A lot of it there’s no reasoning to. It’s just how I feel. It’s both a physical and mental reaction of NO.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Just reading this thread has given me a headache. 

My revulsion to sex is pretty visceral. The knee-jerk response to sex in my head is: "ew, that's disgusting or gross" and "gag". Some of the discussion on this thread makes me uncomfortable, too, but I chose to read, that is on me.

 

As for why ... The idea of sharing body fluids is just so gross. Swallowing another person's spit, not to mention other stuff? No way. Not happening. No thanks!😲 We'll not get into how being intimate with another person brings a whole new level of discomfort to the fore. Shudder.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm gonna be honest, I hear sex talk and I'm internally cringing, but I can withstand the repulsion enough to be able to sit in a room with others and just go "Oh... ok." and/or listen to others talk about it. Sometimes I even engage in some opinion sharing about whatever anyone is  talking about, but it's more like half of my mind going into automatic nope mode while the other goes "calm down, calm down. it's fine, you're gonna be ok, don't react, stay calm." and usually that helps me handle it. As long as I'm not in the equation, I'm alright.. or else automatic nope mode takes over and I'm boosting outta there faster then Usain Bolt's latest world record. 

 

As for why I'm sex repulsed: I can't see myself looking at people (even my future partner) in a sexual way because I would uphold only respect, love and kindness towards then. I feel like if I see them in a sexual way, that's disrespectful towards them and myself. I also find it werid if a person starts feeling sexual attraction towards me.. like, why? Also, I don't want anything in my privates or anyone touching it, thank you.. especially with the intercourse stuff (ouch, that's gotta hurt!) . I don't even like the idea of me touching them like that... I'll only touch my privates when I gotta wash em, Egh, this makes me light headed having to talk about it. >_<

Link to post
Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere
5 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:
  Hide contents

And afterwards, a lot of women like to kiss so they can taste themselves on their partner's lips and tongue - same thing, sharing each other physically.

 

This feels so extremely disgusting for me... I too find body fluids quite repulsive - for example I can share a bottle of water with someone close, such as my mother, but I'd never share ice cream or a candy with anyone. But I also find MY OWN body fluids disgusting.

Spoiler

You know, I have a libido and self-pleasuring is nowhere near as disgusting as the idea of having partnered sex. But I so much dislike touching my vulva and especially the fluids... That's the advantage of a showerhead or an external massage device which can even be used through clothes (:D) - no need to touch body fluids.

 

Another thing I completely dislike about sex is nudity. Calling it "off-putting" wouldn't do it justice. It's not disgusting either, it's rather an insurmountable barrier which would probably never let me try sex if I wanted to. I just can't undress in front of anyone. I couldn't even let anyone see my body with her hands in total darkness (btw, I'm afraid of total darkness anyway. On the other hand, it's extremely hard to achieve in a city where there is always light from streetlamps filtering through blinds).

Compared to that, it's kinda pointless to say that I just feel threatened when theoretically analysing the idea of personally having sex. Even the first step - undressing - is so impossible for me that I couldn't even get close to having sex with anyone.

Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

But I so much dislike touching

Ever tried masturbating using only your thoughts ? Apparently most women can orgasm using purely mental stimulation. I saw a study about it somewhere.

Women dont need men.😛😛

Sometimes i wonder why there is even a need for partnered sex,except to make babies. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...