Gray-Ace/Gray-Romantic or something else?

[elbow_macaroni]

Hi everyone,

I'm pretty new here and just trying to figure things out.  I know we can't ID each other here, but I am wondering if anyone else can relate/has experience with my type of situation.

I have a low libido, though it was higher in my late teens/early 20s (I'm 25 now).  Mostly now I have semi-erotic dreams, but those feelings don't really carry over into daily life.  I feel like I am attracted romantically and sexually to very few people.  I don't have an interest in porn beyond fanfiction, and even then that interest is not nearly as high as it used to be.

I do imagine having a partner/getting married one day, but I just don't seem to be romantically attracted to anyone besides some celebs/TV characters.  I don't feel like I'm demi because I feel like the closer I get to someone I am romantically interested in, I suddenly feel like they're too clingy and my independence is suffering.  I know I probably have some relationship anxiety, but other than that I really don't know what to think about these (lack of) feelings.  I do value the deep emotional connections I have with some of my friends, and I would love to have that complete trust and understanding with a partner (with the addition of kissing/cuddles).

Any insight would be much appreciated.

Thank you all in advance. =)

[Just Somebody]

Well, seems very gray-ace-y/aro-y,  but oh god, you got us, I have no idea exactly where you are in the umbrella. 😥

 

 

• Well, let's start from the beginning , you look romance and sex positive.
• You enjoy romance, I think you want a relationship as you mentioned, you said you have crushes indeed and feel attracted. Alright. So you're somewhat romantic and sexual.
• You said you could feel romantically attracted to real people, so not fictoromantic. Also drop the demi bc you didn't mention emotional connection/idolatry as a requirement for a crush.
• Your romantic and sexual drive is very low, so I see you as both hyporomantic and hyposexual.
• Losing Interest once reciprocated?  probably aporomantic/akioneromantic and also akionesexual/aposexual.
• As pointed under, you could also be fraysexual and frayromantic for only have feelings for only people you have no emotional bonds with.

 

Well, folks,  that all I can think of by now.

Maybe fray-apo-hypo-sexual and romantic is the deal.

[malacat]

Maybe also look into fraysexual/romantic (under the grey-ace/aro umbrella, which you could definitely use without needing to specify anything more  ). This is the opposite of demiromantic/sexual, in that once you develop an emotional bond with someone, you do not experience romantic/sexual attraction towards them.