Guest Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 I used to experience physical attraction when I was younger but I literally feel nothing for anyone anymore no matter what they look like. I suppose I miss that attraction a little bit and am trying to understand why I don't experience it anymore. I'm 31 now and last experienced it in my early to mid twenties. Does this seem familiar to anyone else that is in their 30s or older? Admittedly, there are a number of factors that may be influencing why I feel nothing anymore: Depression Chronic illness Gender identity Confusing sexuality Defence mechanism - to stop myself feeling the pain of love and rejection I still enjoy deep emotional connections, which are what truly matters to me but being able to experience physical attraction would be nice too. Link to post Share on other sites
Muledeer Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 I still experience physical attraction to people of both genders. I am generally attracted to people younger than myself. My presence on AVEN has really helped me to differentiate physical, sexual, and romantic attractions. I consider physical attraction and aesthetic attraction to be the same thing. I have come to realize that the attractions I feel are mostly physical in nature. Princess, I believe the issues you have identified above do indeed contribute to your lack of attraction, especially the depression and chronic illness you suffer from. If you can turn around those two issues I think your gender identity and confused sexuality will become easier to deal with and resolve. Link to post Share on other sites
Evren Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 Depression and gender identity both take up alot of your brains thinking power. I spent years in a mental fog where nothing interested me and im still piecing together the bits that make me who I am. Im just starting to show actual interest in things again and even then it's usually much fainter than I remember it being. Link to post Share on other sites
arekathevampyre Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 @Princess Merida I hope you will be able to find the answers you are looking for . *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 Thanks for the input so far. I'm working on making my situation better but the truth is that my health is only going to get worse and I'm only going to experience more pain so although I can try and manage my condition it's difficult to avoid it pushing me down into deep depression. I have to take my mind outside of my body to deal with my pain and symptoms and as a result life is like looking at the world from a bubble. 55 minutes ago, Evren said: Depression and gender identity both take up alot of your brains thinking power. I spent years in a mental fog where nothing interested me and im still piecing together the bits that make me who I am. Im just starting to show actual interest in things again and even then it's usually much fainter than I remember it being. That is very much what I'm experiencing too. It's hard to have enthusiasm and a love for life when I can never be like cis girls. I'm working at expressing it as much as I can so maybe there's some hope of relief eventually. I just hate how people look at me as if I'm a freak for having women's accessories and clothing. I'm trying to ignore it though as a friend suggested. 23 minutes ago, arekathevampyre said: @Princess Merida I hope you will be able to find the answers you are looking for . *hugs* Thank you! *warm hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewT Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 8 hours ago, Princess Merida said: I used to experience physical attraction when I was younger but I literally feel nothing for anyone anymore no matter what they look like. I suppose I miss that attraction a little bit and am trying to understand why I don't experience it anymore. I'm 31 now and last experienced it in my early to mid twenties. Does this seem familiar to anyone else that is in their 30s or older? Admittedly, there are a number of factors that may be influencing why I feel nothing anymore: Depression Chronic illness Gender identity Confusing sexuality Defence mechanism - to stop myself feeling the pain of love and rejection I still enjoy deep emotional connections, which are what truly matters to me but being able to experience physical attraction would be nice too. Yes this is familiar, i'm 38 when i was younger I'm sure I experienced physical/sexual attraction, although i doubt I'd be able to put an age on it. I suffer chronic pain, depression and definitely understand the defence mechanism to stop being hurt, but I now believe I was asexual before the chronic pain came into play. It's not straight forward at least not for me, but if you wanted to PM me to talk about anything, I would be happy to listen Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 I'm not saying I felt any sexual attraction before. I have sexual fantasies but I don't want to act on them. I would say it was more aesthetic attraction but I no longer feel it EVER. It bothers me because although I enjoy an emotional connection with women I'm not sure I could enter a relationship on that alone. IDK, maybe I'm wrong. I'm not a shallow person and look for the beauty from within but not experiencing physical attraction makes me feel like I'm missing part of myself. There may be an element of ALWAYS feeling like no one is attracted to me and so automatically switching off any possible attraction. It's hard to say. I know I've always been asexual too, @Andrew001. In school I just wanted to be a girl and wear their clothes. Not much has changed apart from the things I listed above making life even more unbearable for me. Right now I feel like I will live my life alone and never experience what everyone else does. It just sucks. I want to enjoy life and be happy with who I am. I'm just not. Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewT Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 tbh i think I could only form a relationship if there was a strong emotional connection, although can't really offer relationship advice I wish I had answers but there are always more questions. I have a few friends I can discuss my chronic pain issues with, but I can not talk to them about other stuff, one of the reasons I joined here. try and find someone you are happy to talk to, and see if it helps? Link to post Share on other sites
arekathevampyre Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 8 hours ago, Princess Merida said: Thank you! *warm hugs* Aww you are welcome !! *big hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
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