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Agender Question From a Dummy


will123

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Please bear in mind I know very little about the agender identity, but have seen that some members of the AVEN community identify as such. OK here goes. 

 

If you identify as agender, do you assume an androgynous/neutral appearance or present yourself in a masculine or feminine manner (given your gender at birth) but don't care for the male or female gender identity?

 

I hope my question makes sense.

 

 

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It means (inter alia) you don't identify with any gender, you're neutrally gendered or you simply don't care about gender.

I personally prefer to appear androgynous, but the way you look does not necessarily show your gender.

I hope it helps.

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3 minutes ago, Yatagarasu said:

It means (inter alia) you don't identify with any gender, you're neutrally gendered or you simply don't care about gender.

I personally prefer to appear androgynous, but the way you look does not necessarily show your gender.

I hope it helps.

That's kind of what was on my mind when I was trying to compose my post.

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EmotionalAndroid

I think it greatly depends on the person as to how they choose to present. Personally, I identify as agender, but I present as more-or-less female (I am AFAB) and I tell everyone who asks me (in real life) that I am female just to avoid hassle. This choice of presentation is largely due to pressures from my family, though, and if given the freedom I would wear both masculine and feminine clothing interchangeably.

 

My ideas about gender are quite possibly incredibly naiive, but I don't think what a person wears or what a person likes defines their gender. Perhaps I identify as agender because I don't really care about gender and don't think it is super important. I am not really sure.

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Jitsuka-Jace

I didn’t realize there was a term for someone who didn’t care about their gender. I identify as a woman but I have never considered my gender in any descicion or action that I have ever made. I sometimes dress like a woman, sometimes like a man and sometimes a mix of both. To me they are clothes and I wear them if I think they are interesting or comfortable. I am not attracted to any gender section in a clothing store but rather look at the first thing that catches my eye. 

 

As an archaeologist, I do find the concept of gender interesting but in practice subscribing to a specific gender identity is meaningless to me... Perhaps I am agender?

 

(research here I come)

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I used to appear 70% masculine and 30% androgynous until about 3-4 months ago; now I'm slowly "accepting" to appear more feminine, although I'm still not into very-feminine-stuff and prefer to look 50-60% neutral/androgynous and 40-50% feminine (if these percentages make sense).

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16 hours ago, will123 said:

Please bear in mind I know very little about the agender identity, but have seen that some members of the AVEN community identify as such. OK here goes. 

 

If you identify as agender, do you assume an androgynous/neutral appearance or present yourself in a masculine or feminine manner (given your gender at birth) but don't care for the male or female gender identity?

 

I hope my question makes sense.

I know this section is not for me, as I identify in the binary, but I do have an agender partner that I've asked questions about and I can answer.  They have described it as "wanting everything and nothing at the same time".  How they present doesn't matter, it's entirely based on their internal sense of self.  Sadly the options for having both aren't available in hrt or surgeries, so they are stuck as they are with the dysphoria.  That may not be true for all agender folk, but that's the best way I've heard it described.  Perhaps in the future there will be an option for non-binary folk to have the best of both words on the medical side of things?

 

To answer your question, though: yes, it's basically dressing how you want regardless if it fits your AGAB, but lacking a gender identity that fits into the binary.  You can be agender and dress more masculine, feminine, androgynous, and be any AGAB.  Unfortunately if your expression fits your AGAB, you are gendered how you appear.  Which is a huge pain.

 

I don't mean to intrude, just wanting to answer op's questions.  

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13 minutes ago, vmdraco said:

I know this section is not for me, as I identify in the binary, but I do have an agender partner that I've asked questions about and I can answer.  They have described it as "wanting everything and nothing at the same time".  How they present doesn't matter, it's entirely based on their internal sense of self.  Sadly the options for having both aren't available in hrt or surgeries, so they are stuck as they are with the dysphoria.  That may not be true for all agender folk, but that's the best way I've heard it described.  Perhaps in the future there will be an option for non-binary folk to have the best of both words on the medical side of things?

 

To answer your question, though: yes, it's basically dressing how you want regardless if it fits your AGAB, but lacking a gender identity that fits into the binary.  You can be agender and dress more masculine, feminine, androgynous, and be any AGAB.  Unfortunately if your expression fits your AGAB, you are gendered how you appear.  Which is a huge pain.

 

I don't mean to intrude, just wanting to answer op's questions.  

Not a problem! :)

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  • 5 months later...

I dress how i feel comfortable.

I wear what i like that i can find that fits me, i am a larger person (6ft,  220lbs), so finding clothes is hard.

 

Right after my heart surgery i wore really feminine tops so my scar would show, so people would ask & be educated about heart issues in someone my age.

I am not ashamed of my scar, though now i dont feel the need to show it off & feel its time to go back to wearing t-shirts, jeans & converse.

 

i do wear make-up, i have short hair that i have colored non-traditional colors.  I now feel more comfortable with short hair, i had had long hair (past my shoulders) pretty much my entire life.

 

I do find myself shopping in the mens department more often since they seem to have my size more often, & mens shoes & socks for the same reason.  Though i am distressed that men dont have "cute" socks.

 

not sure if i answered the question, but i identify as agender & this is how i present.

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I have big hips and boobs, and a very feminine face, so I couldn't look androgynous or neutral if I tried. For the record, though, I haven't actually tried, because I don't feel neutral any more than I feel female. This article might help you understand:

 

http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Maverique

 

 I don't bind my breasts, but neither do I alter their natural shape or positioning, much less accentuate and sexualize them, by wearing a bra. I wear basic pants, somewhat oversized T-shirts, and flat slip-on shoes, so that I can be covered up and comfortable; I do like colors and patterns, so I express myself in that way, which in our culture would be considered a feminine thing because men don't typically wear that kind of stuff. Like most Americans, I'd like to be thinner, but I have no problem with my female shape, even though an androgynous body typically looks better in the sort of clothing I think is coolest; human beings are visual creatures, and certain things are considered attractive about a female appearance, and attractiveness provides an easier life.

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also gender expression & gender identity are different.

 

one is how you feel & the other is how you dress.

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  • 1 year later...

Not sure how this popped into my head, but here goes. If an agender person isn't asexual and/or aromantic for example, does homo- or hetero, et cetera apply when describing any attractions they may have?

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17 hours ago, will123 said:

Not sure how this popped into my head, but here goes. If an agender person isn't asexual and/or aromantic for example, does homo- or hetero, et cetera apply when describing any attractions they may have?

Some people still use hetero and homo, but there's also replacement words like androsexual/gynesexual or masexual/womasexual. But there are 'nonbinary lesbians' for example. Don't ask me to explain that, I don't think I could do it justice.

 

Bi and pan still works, so yay for me :) 

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21 hours ago, will123 said:

Not sure how this popped into my head, but here goes. If an agender person isn't asexual and/or aromantic for example, does homo- or hetero, et cetera apply when describing any attractions they may have?

Insert rant here:

 

A basic problem is that people tend to take these roots literally in ways that they wouldn't right now when they see words like "quarantine" and "decimate" in the headlines. Culturally, homosexuality has always been bashed as a gender deviance. Meanwhile trans and GNC people have always been attacked for assumed homosexuality. As a result, gender identity within LGBTQ has frequently been hella complex, diverse, and intersectional. 

 

So in my mind there's no conflict between being agender or nonbinary and gay, lesbian, or bisexual, because those communities have always had subcultural spaces for agender and nonbinary gender people. 

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I guess in my mind I was linking the person's 'assigned gender' to their attraction whether it was same sex, opposite, etc.

 

@KiraS I wasn't meaning any disrespect to those folks.

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