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FrodoBaggins

Why are so many aces nonbinary?

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FrodoBaggins

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember a survey showing that a lot of aces are trans or nonbinary. It certainly seems like there are a lot of trans and nonbinary folks on here. Is there any reason why? What's the correlation?

 

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Tortuga

Well, sexuality and gender are connected, right? So if one messes with one of those things, like someone turns out asexual, then they may well have a non-cis identity because the two are related. At least that's my theory.

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Evren

We haven't really figured out if a lot of aces are transgender or if a lot of transgender aces prefer to communicate online. Dysphoria can make it so that you have no desire to look at or touch your own body much less have somone else do it, so that could be a contributing factor.

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Guest

I have always thought that it's my gender identity that has resulted in my asexuality rather than the other way around. If someone doesn't feel comfortable in their own skin then they're bound to not want someone seeing them in a sexual way really.

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ryan_

Like Evren said, dysphoria may have a lot to do with it. If you hate your own body, why would you want someone else to see it? Or, at least, that's how many people think. 

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Janus DarkFox

No correlation really without any actual census on the matter.  It can appear this way, I do agree that often non-binary are also asexual/aromantic are in, seem to be in higher numbers.

 

might be simple as having no gender personally means that the opposite sex attraction cannot exist because there isn't an opposite of nothing, or this opposite could mean all genders.  It this case, there are agendered with some form of attraction of the full gender spectrum, like my own aesthetics attraction.  Also a non-binary can also have a same to their gender attraction, attraction to their own non gender binary.  Due to possibly having no other person or very few people having that same gender at all, means that attraction never is experienced.

 

Thats just my take on it, nobody really knows, actual numbers are very small. 

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Mezzo Forte

From what I've seen a lot of people tend to view gender and orientation in an inherently connected way, at least in regards to monosexual orientations (straight and gay). When you have to define your own gender to define your orientation, I think people tend to treat gender as an assumption/given and either aren't as likely to give gender the critical eye to consider nonbinary identity, or they're more likely to reconcile their potential nonbinary identity as a mode of being a binary gender instead.

 

There's also the possibility that nonbinary people just perceive gender differently and that shapes the way they experience attraction. (Bi/pan-oriented people aren't uncommon in trans circles either.)

 

I don't really connect my orientations to my gender identity, and I suspect I would have been this way if I were cis too. However, I definitely had to accept my asexuality and aromanticism before I could begin questioning my gender, and the process of understanding and accepting myself as a man took many years, especially when I only wanted concrete reasons to identify as anything other than cis. (I got my concrete reasons from my relationship with my body and need for medical transition. You could argue that my mind isn't strongly gendered, but it functions infinitely better on testosterone than estrogen.)

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Luftschlosseule

I don't think we have enough data to form any conclusions. Even if you know you're ace, maybe you never connected to other aces via the web or just never happened upon the term non-binary. So, even if you notice that something is amiss in your picture of yourself as cisperson, and answer the survey, you don't know what it means.

And one issue with the surveys is that it's mostly spread through the web, where people are more likely to come across gender and identity issues.

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Acing It

Not being gay/lesbian, having the body of one sex and feeling at home with the opposite gender somehow makes me not want sexythings with either sex.

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Homer

My first thought was that maybe it's the other way round? Are nb folks more likely to be asexual?

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TheSilentScientist
On 1/6/2018 at 12:09 PM, Mezzo Forte said:

I don't really connect my orientations to my gender identity, and I suspect I would have been this way if I were cis too. However, I definitely had to accept my asexuality and aromanticism before I could begin questioning my gender, and the process of understanding and accepting myself as a man took many years, especially when I only wanted concrete reasons to identify as anything other than cis. 

I couldn't agree more so. It definitely took me time to accept my asexuality and aromanticism first before I even began looking towards my gender. Although looking back now, I've come to realize that as a child, I on some level, knew my gender didn't match my biological sex. I just didn't know it was possible to be a different gender or no gender at all (or somewhere in between) from what one is assigned at birth. So I ignored it. And I was only able to start questioning once I realized I was asexual.

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in.visible

It might also have something to do with awareness. I didn't know about trans-/agender when I researched asexuality, but I started questioning soon after.

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Nylocke

I can only speak for myself on this case but I found out that I was asexual a bit before I found out that I was genderqueer. I guess I just kinda felt a bit off in a way but couldn't really explain it to anyone else or myself for that matter.

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All the little Lights
On 16. Januar 2018 at 12:42 PM, in.visible said:

It might also have something to do with awareness. I didn't know about trans-/agender when I researched asexuality, but I started questioning soon after.

Absolutely! 

 

I also see a lot of non-binary trans people, who use the pronouns and a name of the other binary gender than the one they were assigned at birth. I'm sure, these people exist the other way around too! There must be people who are amab and demiboys or afab and feel like "a little bit of woman". But they might never hear of it, never know that there's a word for how they feel.

I'd just say there's probably a lot more enby-people around than what you'd think. (I don't know, it's just a feeling I have)

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