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bubblybaby

Who have you told :) ?

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robnrdbrd
7 minutes ago, Auld_Mulk said:

Grats @robnrdbrd.  Sweet success story.  Thank you for sharing. 

 

(me: still safely in the closet, thank you very much)

 

I get that, too.  I get the feeling that a lot of people - even people who have no issues with the LGBT community - feel what many of us feel is something that can be 'fixed', or that 'you haven't yet found the one' or 'how would you know if you don't date lots of people', etc and I'm happy avoiding those dramatic conversations, thanks.

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DemiDummy

I've told my Counselor (came to her for this reason because it was quite the epiphany when I figured it out), my sweet boyfriend, and a few close friends. I have considered telling my twin, but I figure I only will if an opportunity presents itself. I'm pretty sure I've dropped enough "I couldn't care less"-type comments toward sex that she won't be the least bit surprised.

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Dreamsexual
On ‎5‎/‎12‎/‎2019 at 2:43 PM, Dreamsexual said:

My wife sort of knows a little.

My kid sort of knows a tiny, tiny bit.

Other than that, pretty much in a great big old closet.  With spiders and old newspapers.

 

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Strawberry ice cream

Only my husband knows. I will not tell about my asexuality to nobody else because I just want to avoid questions like 'So you don't have a sex with your husband?' It could be quite uncomfortable for him and I don't want to make him feel bad. As for me I don't care...But anyway I don't have close people besides him.

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Demi Dad

I told my oldest son and his fiance about 2 weeks ago  over lunch when they asked about my black ring . i just told them,( it felt good to just be open to my son) they excepted me . i have 3 boys so i am going to do this two more times.

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The Lilac Granny

Hello to you

I'm not out yet and I have no hurry to do that but maybe in the future when I'm more brave 💜💜💜

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LittleMouse

I turned 30 on June 1st, and I only figured out I was Ace a couple years ago. So I've told a few people close to me. Surprisingly I find it easier to tell acquaintances than I do anyone that I've known longer. It's not that I'm afraid of not being accepted, I'm just afraid of not being understood. I come from a VERY small town and sometimes people really struggle with understanding.

I'm taking my 15 y/o niece to the pride march in my town this month and idk what will come out of it

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LittleMouse
On 11/30/2018 at 6:23 PM, Magickal_Faerie said:

I’m 31 and only out to my closest friends, my counsellor and coach. Probably about 10 people in all. I only really figured out there was a term for my orientation when I was 29 so I’m still getting used to it being a thing.

 

...

 

It’s a huge part of me and I have always had “shields” up around me for various reasons. So letting the shields down for this conversation will be very difficult...

Same! I genuinely though for the longest time that my cis/hetero-normative sister was TOO into sex. Was strange to realize that that's just the way other people's brains work.

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UnderworldFan1988

A few years ago, I said to my best friend one day when we were hanging out "Hey man you know what's funny, (I was kinda drunk but 1000% serious) I have no interest in a sexual relationship with a woman and wouldn't care if I didn't ever have sex again." He agreed with me and was on the same page so I think my best friend is an asexual as well. He hates the idea of a labeled asexual and would rather just tell people "I have no interest in sex". He said it shouldn't be any harder than that, which I kinda agree with him on that as well. It's kinda crazy because I realized most other ace's never have meet a fellow ace one on one before? At least as far as I can tell from most peoples stories they have never meet anyone else ace, I guess I'm lucky to have my best friend be ace but at the same time very unlucky because I am not dating that big lug lol. (no offense bud)

Edited by BornSlippy
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will123

In my 14 years of identifying as asexual, I have only met two other asexuals, one female and another who identified as agender. These were meetups arranged thru AVEN.

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Chamomile_Serenity
On 6/16/2019 at 4:09 AM, BornSlippy said:

A few years ago, I said to my best friend one day when we were hanging out "Hey man you know what's funny, (I was kinda drunk but 1000% serious) I have no interest in a sexual relationship with a woman and wouldn't care if I didn't ever have sex again." He agreed with me and was on the same page so I think my best friend is an asexual as well. He hates the idea of a labeled asexual and would rather just tell people "I have no interest in sex". He said it shouldn't be any harder than that, which I kinda agree with him on that as well. It's kinda crazy because I realized most other ace's never have meet a fellow ace one on one before? At least as far as I can tell from most peoples stories they have never meet anyone else ace, I guess I'm lucky to have my best friend be ace but at the same time very unlucky because I am not dating that big lug lol. (no offense bud)

It was actually a fellow ace that I met one-to-one that helped me identify this community. I didn't know there was a term for "not interested in sex/ not that into people in *that way". Although, they are the only person I've met who uses the label. There are probably more that I've met but just like myself or your friend just didn't know about or use the label as an identity marker. 

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Zagadka

I'm coming to decide that I don't want to tell anyone unless it directly affects them (say, meeting someone). Which is weird, because I'd kinda like to be open, but the investment and explanations and misunderstandings... I'm considering being wildly reckless and getting a ring I won't wear around family. I'd be interested in meeting other aces if I happen to run across someone and they happen to see my hand for some reason. But mainly to just feel more liberated. ... and flaunting a secret can be fun.


 

On 1/3/2018 at 9:58 AM, bubblybaby said:

Side story: My dad is trans. He's never come out of the closet fully and chooses he/him pronouns, so that's why I say "dad".

I know this is a weird necro-quote, but my dad is as well, and she still says call her dad. Her wife does, as well. I never really considered doing it differently. Do people do that more frequently? I don't know other adult children of trans parents.

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Joyfulness

I just told 2 of my best friends today. We've known each other for about 16 years. I knew they would understand more then anybody. It's took me a long time to realize there's nothing wrong with me. 

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AceMissBehaving
24 minutes ago, Joyfulness said:

I just told 2 of my best friends today. We've known each other for about 16 years. I knew they would understand more then anybody. It's took me a long time to realize there's nothing wrong with me. 

Congratulations! I’m really happy for you!!!!

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Melian

I’m 40, married, and a parent of younger kids. I came out as bi when I was 25 (after thinking I was gay for quite a few years) 🤷‍♀️ - still true, I’m bi-romantic - but coming out as asexual doesn’t seem like something I need to do right now. My spouse knows.  

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will123
2 hours ago, Melian said:

I’m 40, married, and a parent of younger kids. I came out as bi when I was 25 (after thinking I was gay for quite a few years) 🤷‍♀️ - still true, I’m bi-romantic - but coming out as asexual doesn’t seem like something I need to do right now. My spouse knows.  

I'm pretty sure we all agree that it is up to the individual if, when and who they come out to.

 

I identified as asexual in 2005, but it was twelve years before I came out to a male friend that I had known since elementary school. I have told five people that I'm asexual (besides the two asexuals that I've met). I have no thoughts of telling my family as it would cause too much drama...

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HellGirl

I've never really been in, so I never needed to come out. 

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Asexual_Fujoshi

Told my friends. Hmm and if I'm asked why I dont date people usually I would mention it.

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fooledbysecrecy

i'm 33 now, found out i was ace at 25. took a few years before i told anyone irl, i mentioned it in therapy and like 4 years ago (?) i came out to my boss at the time, the conversation just sort of went there and she was an easy person to talk to. a bit later i came out to one of my sisters. don't remember having The Talk with my youngest sister but she knows as well.

last year my dad asked me on skype what my sexual orientation was, point blank (he'd seen the rainbow flag in my fb profile) so i told him. so my parents know and thankfully are ok about it.

 

i don't think i've done any sort of grand coming out thing online (although i thought about it for so many years, i had that need to declare it to everyone now that my life finally made sense) i've just sort of slipped it into my online presence. so yeah i guess anyone who follows me on insta (including some of my cousins if they even pay attention to it) knows. and most of my friends know too. the ones who matter anyway.

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griffinej5

I only actually say it where it’s relevant. So, of recent, it’s come up a few times. It came up with one of my sisters. I think she’s told my mom, sort of. It came up with a friend, and then recently, it came up in a larger Facebook group of colleagues (most of them I don’t know personally, but also a very close friend of 20 years is in the group). She liked my comment, so she definitely knows now. I’d hinted at it recently, but I’d never said it to her, because it just was never relevant to anything. 

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BeeCow891

I've technically told one person and that was this guy that was interested in dating me (when I only knew him by name from a mutual friend and only talked to him for a week or so before I tried to set things straight. I literally said I was demiromantic/asexual, but unfortunately like most, he had no idea what that meant even when I even simply put "idk you, I need to be friends first to even consider the idea let alone actually try to date". He didn't get it, he was the type I guess that falls easy and dates fast, because I'm sort of friends with him but after that he was already dating someone 2 weeks later, and I ain't touching that now.

 

But, my family wouldn't get it and I probably won't try with them to be honest, my best friend knows I'm demiromantic in that I need a connection, I need to know a person before I even think of dating them, but not in terms or that it's a whole part of my identity. Which is still ok, since she has my back with the idea of it anyways.

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