GLRDT Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Sometimes labels don't help people but they do help me find a starting point to explore what the labels mean to me personally. But man, that is a lot of label in that title. I feel like I've created my own species of sexuality. Ha ha. Is there anyone on here who feels they identify in the same or a similar way? Anyhow, I'm starting to think I'm polyamorous and polysensual but no way not polysexual. I'm gray asexual and would prefer no sex. Polyamorous and polysensual just make sense with how I've always been and wanted just like how when I heard about gray asexuality I was like oh that makes sense now. The thing is I don't know much about polyamorous and polysensuality yet. I'm in the process of researching and reading. Is there anyone on here with similar tendencies or who are more knowledgeable who would be willing to share their stories or ideas with me here? I guess I should clearly state what this label means to me. I feel I'd be very happy and able to fall romantically in love with several people at once and be cuddly with several people at once. I also am able to compromise and have sex for a partner and find things about it enjoyable but I'd prefer and be happiest if sex was something I never had to deal with. That's what this longass label means to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Ousel Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Oooh! Exciting. You've put a lot of time and energy into this it seems. My questions for you are; What is your experience with jealously, if at all? And. What experience do you have with the jealousy of others, if at all? If you're up for answering of course. Link to post Share on other sites
GLRDT Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 5 hours ago, Ousel said: Oooh! Exciting. You've put a lot of time and energy into this it seems. My questions for you are; What is your experience with jealously, if at all? And. What experience do you have with the jealousy of others, if at all? If you're up for answering of course. Well I'm still figuring myself out. Now that I'm aware there are other options on how to be I'm in the process of giving myself the freedom to explore unconventional ways to be in a relationship. I have yet to actually be in a polyamorous relationship. I don't find myself getting jealous hardly ever with anything in general. One reason is what other people have got going on has nothing to do with me and my own successes or struggles so the only time I can get jealous is when I feel something or a situation is truly unfair and out of my control. However that's only happened like twice ever that I can remember. As far as romantic relationships i think my lack of jealousy stems from me being a very trusting and optimistic person and I'm also good at reading people so I feel safe with my partners until they show me otherwise. I don't feel like anyone is a threat to our relationship because I trust my partner to tell me if they want something different or they won't do anything we haven't agreed on with someone else. I know I can be in for a surprise at some point but with the kind of relationships I develop they have an unusual amount of trust and honest clear communication about everything. There is an openess and approachfulness I incorporate into all my relationships. There is no topic too difficult to discuss. So if something is up I trust that my partner would be able to tell me their concerns before they ever came close to cheating. Also I don't have the time or the desire to try and control someone else's life and how they live it. If someone tries to control me, they don't last very long. Yes I can empathize if someone is feeling jealous but if it's not something they can get a handle on for themselves or they don't trust me when I was given them no reason not to, I can't be in a relationship with someone like that. But I'm not sure that all has to do with my sexuality. More just who I am in other aspects as a person. Link to post Share on other sites
GLRDT Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 5 hours ago, Ousel said: Link to post Share on other sites
GLRDT Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 @Ousel. I'm still learning about polyamorous stuff. I notice on your profile it says you identify as polyamorous. Can you please tell me more about your experience with this and what it means to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Lirelyn Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 Hi GLRDT! I'm polyamorous and still figuring out what to call my orientation -- sometimes I'm bisexual, sometimes I'm biromantic and asexual. I love being polyamorous because I like having close-knit relationships with a network of people. Right now I live with three others and we consider ourselves family -- most of us aren't dating each other but we are still planning a life together. I know a lot of polyamorous people who are very sexual and like making a lot of sexual connections, and a lot who are somewhere on the gray/ace spectrum. I think if you are open about how you feel and what you want/don't want, you should be able to find people who fit well with you. One important question to think about in advance is, if you are partnered with someone sexual who's having sex with other partners but is fine not having it with you, would you feel okay about that? (I am always really happy, in my ace phases, when my partners are getting the sex they want somewhere else.) I'm happy to answer any other questions. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
CozyPosie Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 This topic is a breath of fresh air. I recently went through a breakup, and have been reevaluating love, and how I relate to others. The title of the post caught my eye...that’s exactly how I feel about myself. Thank you for that! Good luck on your journey of self-discovery. Link to post Share on other sites
GLRDT Posted January 5, 2018 Author Share Posted January 5, 2018 1 hour ago, Lirelyn said: Hi GLRDT! I'm polyamorous and still figuring out what to call my orientation -- sometimes I'm bisexual, sometimes I'm biromantic and asexual. I love being polyamorous because I like having close-knit relationships with a network of people. Right now I live with three others and we consider ourselves family -- most of us aren't dating each other but we are still planning a life together. I know a lot of polyamorous people who are very sexual and like making a lot of sexual connections, and a lot who are somewhere on the gray/ace spectrum. I think if you are open about how you feel and what you want/don't want, you should be able to find people who fit well with you. One important question to think about in advance is, if you are partnered with someone sexual who's having sex with other partners but is fine not having it with you, would you feel okay about that? (I am always really happy, in my ace phases, when my partners are getting the sex they want somewhere else.) I'm happy to answer any other questions. Good luck! Thanks for sharing! I was thinking it would be cool to live with like two or three people in a polyamorous roommate family situation but I was thinking how difficult it would be to find two people that would up for that. They'd both have to be bisexual polyamorous men who don't get jealous and who are ok having sex with each other or someone else entirely and who both are ok only having a romantic sensual, emotional, intellectual relationship with me. How'd you get your partners all together? Thank you for your encouraging post. Link to post Share on other sites
GLRDT Posted January 5, 2018 Author Share Posted January 5, 2018 40 minutes ago, CozyPosie said: This topic is a breath of fresh air. I recently went through a breakup, and have been reevaluating love, and how I relate to others. The title of the post caught my eye...that’s exactly how I feel about myself. Thank you for that! Good luck on your journey of self-discovery. Thanks! I'm reevaluating too. My best advice so far is think about what you truly want and then don't judge it or put limits on yourself and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Lirelyn Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 23 minutes ago, GLRDT said: Thanks for sharing! I was thinking it would be cool to live with like two or three people in a polyamorous roommate family situation but I was thinking how difficult it would be to find two people that would up for that. They'd both have to be bisexual polyamorous men who don't get jealous and who are ok having sex with each other or someone else entirely and who both are ok only having a romantic sensual, emotional, intellectual relationship with me. How'd you get your partners all together? One thing to note is that the more fixed ideas you set out with ahead of time, the harder it is to find. Finding two bisexual polyamorous men who want what you want might be a tall order... but is that really what you'd need? If you're only interested in romantic/sensual connections with men, yeah that'd narrow your field, but they could still be hetero, gray, or ace right? Also, an important thing for me is that I can have deeply connected family relationships when there's no romantic component at all. Of the three people I live with, I'm only romantically involved with one. The other two are really close and we're cuddly in a familial way -- if I have to give someone a label for them I call them platonic life partners. As to how we got together, I was friends with one of them first, she and the other two started a household, and then I started dating one of the other two and we all began to feel like a family. So you could end up having a romantic partner and being really close with another partner of theirs, even if that person wasn't your romantic type. Also, for the "don't get jealous" part -- lots of polyamorous people get jealous. To be successful at polyamory, you have to be able to handle your jealousy, but it doesn't mean you don't feel it. Link to post Share on other sites
GLRDT Posted January 5, 2018 Author Share Posted January 5, 2018 44 minutes ago, Lirelyn said: One thing to note is that the more fixed ideas you set out with ahead of time, the harder it is to find. Finding two bisexual polyamorous men who want what you want might be a tall order... but is that really what you'd need? If you're only interested in romantic/sensual connections with men, yeah that'd narrow your field, but they could still be hetero, gray, or ace right? Also, an important thing for me is that I can have deeply connected family relationships when there's no romantic component at all. Of the three people I live with, I'm only romantically involved with one. The other two are really close and we're cuddly in a familial way -- if I have to give someone a label for them I call them platonic life partners. As to how we got together, I was friends with one of them first, she and the other two started a household, and then I started dating one of the other two and we all began to feel like a family. So you could end up having a romantic partner and being really close with another partner of theirs, even if that person wasn't your romantic type. Also, for the "don't get jealous" part -- lots of polyamorous people get jealous. To be successful at polyamory, you have to be able to handle your jealousy, but it doesn't mean you don't feel it. Ok well that's freaking awesome you found that set up! Yeah I'd be cool with a set up like that too! Link to post Share on other sites
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