Jump to content

Am I Gray or Ace?


trec

Recommended Posts

I'm a 20-year-old male. I've never been in a romantic relationship nor have I ever wanted to, so I'm pretty sure that I'm aromantic. But I'm still confused on the sexual part.

I don't normally feel sexual attraction to anyone that I meet. But I do feel sexual attraction if I see a picture/video of someone nude (men and women), like in porn. So I do look at porn and typically feel the need to masturbate every day or few days. And when I do it, I do imagine having sex with them. So there is form of sexual desire. But I don't have any desire to be in a sexual relationship either (so life that feeling only really exists in the moment of masturbating). If I could, I would probably chose to get rid of my sex drive, since the urge to masturbate is more annoying than anything else. This could sound like I'm suppressing it (and that may be true). But I never lived around people who were anti-sex, so it's not like I was forced to suppress sexual desires by my parents.

I'm not sure if this would make me asexual, gray-a, or something else. Does anyone know that this would fit the definition of?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish I had answers. All I can say is that I'm in the same boat. I am definitely aromantic. I feel sexual attraction in the realm of fantasy, but zero desire in reality. I don't know what the proper label is. All I know is that for where I am right now, I know I belong under the umbrella. I just don't know where I stand. And that's okay. :) 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I had to look this up btw, but it seems like you are a Autochorissexual, meaning you may have fantasies or feelings of arousal, but not actually wanting to act on them with another person, I could be completely wrong with this, but that's about as accurate as I could get though.

Link to post
Share on other sites

You said you don't *normally* feel sexual attraction to anyone you meet? That means that you have before, though? If so, in any sense, it's likely that you're not asexual. From what you said in entirety, what Dean said above sounds the most likely to me.

 

I'm grey-sexual and also aromantic. This also sounds likely to be the case for you. Only you can know for sure, though.

Link to post
Share on other sites
23 hours ago, Dean. said:

I had to look this up btw, but it seems like you are a Autochorissexual, meaning you may have fantasies or feelings of arousal, but not actually wanting to act on them with another person, I could be completely wrong with this, but that's about as accurate as I could get though.

Thank you so much! I found more details about it here, and I think this describes me pretty well. I'll probably just say I'm asexual in most conversations (since either way I don't want to be in a romantic or sexual relationship), but it's really nice to know there's a word for more or less exactly how I feel. It makes me feel a lot less alone (and not like I'm sorta broken).

Now I just wish I found this forum years ago.

Link to post
Share on other sites

@trec @dean@Dean.

(sorry other Dean, it wouldn't let me remove you)

Um, actually, I have some corrections. Sorry for the late response, this was on my TDL and I just got to it. ^_^

It sounds like you may have responsive sexual desire, which is a very normal thing for sexual people. So it is possible that if you ever made out/had foreplay with anyone (or saw anyone naked IRL) you'd want sex (which is how half of the sexual population comes to desire sex). Even if it doesn't end up being that, you mentally desire sex once you see someone naked, which goes against AVEN's definition of ace. It would fall under Gray-asexual. But autochroissexual aka anegosexual is defined wrong here. One, it's a normal asexual consisting of a majority of us, but the term refers to people who DON'T want sex but get aroused by erotica (which is normal for half of sexual people too; a majority of women and a minority of men according to studies). Not to mention the word autoerotic existed way before it and refers to the same thing. Where as you say you yourself wanna have sex with said person. Sexual people don't desire sex 24/7. Some people's sexual desire is triggered by hormonal fluctuations, some visuals, others sensual actions, etc, etc.

Link to post
Share on other sites

@Star Bit

That makes sense, I still have a lot to learn about different asexual, romantic and sexual orientations.  

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...