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LL Cool R

Question about sexual attraction and sex drive

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LL Cool R

This is a question mainly to sexuals, possibly also to those who consider themselves asexual although they have a sex drive, just no attraction.

I always wonder how much sexual arousal or attraction most people really have. I've heard some guys say that they have a strong urge to masturbate after just being around some female they find attractive, even if they were not out to meet her, they just worked together or so.

Just to tell you why I had this thought popping up in my head: On Saturday evening I was in the city at a big music festival. I was there and stayed most of the evening till late at night together with my (female) flat mate and some of her friends, girls that could be seen as "very hot babes" (if you want to call it this). When we got home and I was lying in my bed I suddenly asked myself: Hm, wouldn't most likely another guy be sexually aroused now? And I haven't thought about sex even once that evening!

Any comments?

Some background info: I currently label myself as heteroromantic asexual but still questioning my sexuality.

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Amcan

I'm an asexual with a sex drive if that would help you at all.

I get sexually aroused but never around people, at least not that I'm aware. It just sorta happens at certian times of the month (I'm female) nad usuallly when I'm on my own. Some things can 'set it off' but sometimes it just kinda happens. It's an annoyance.

I have never looked at person and thought I'd want sex witht hem and in fact I just don''t want sex at all.

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Dargon

I have a small drive, but no attraction. Interestingly, for me, arousal tends to be proportional to busyness, boredom, stress, and company. If I have little to do and am alone, the drive may show up, but if I am busy or having fun, or if I'm stressed, or if there are others around, it doesn't show up. During the school year, it is practically non-existant, since I'm busy as hell. Right now, since job hunting is stressful, it's gone.

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BunnyK.

It depends on the circumstances. Sometimes you can be around people you find pretty attractive and not feel a thing, and sometimes you're so distracted that you can hardly formulate a sentence.

For me, I don't usually get too distracted by my sex drive as I go through my day-to-day life. It just doesn't occur to me if I'm busy, or I might spare a passing thought about sex; it just never gets to the point where I wish I could make a quick run somewhere private.

However, I used to have a coworker that I found so attractive that I would constantly have to remind myself to keep my mind on work. I've also definitely spent sleepless nights in the same bed with people that weren't interested in doing anything sexual. Just being next to them and feeling their body next to mine made me so physically uncomfortable that I was literally unable to relax due to being so aroused.

I hope that helps answer your question. Oh, and I'm a sexual female, btw.

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Dixie

*Also an asexual with a sex drive* For me, I don't feel the need to masturbate or do anything about it. I just ignore it. I don't care about it.

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Desert_Rose

That isnt odd. Im a sexual, and I dont get turned on just by being around a guy that I find attractive. Just today I was watching a bunch of VERY attractive guys playing soccer topless, and I was quite attracted to them but not turned on.

Mostly I only get turned on if Im actually in a situation where I will be getting some action. Ie, seeing a hot guy isnt enough to turn me on, but if the hot guy is touching me and kissing me, that will turn me on.

But then, I am a girl and from what Iv read guys sex drives and girls sex drives work a bit differently.

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Hallucigenia

Sexual, probably hypo.

I don't get strongly aroused just from looking at attractive people. However, if I spend a long period of time with someone I'm attracted to, I'll get more and more distracted by wanting to do something physical with them. This can involve arousal, but usually it doesn't - just a strong urge to cuddle or smooch.

Sometimes, when I was strongly attracted to a certain person, I would be in situations where I was socializing with him one-on-one for hours on end, and we couldn't cuddle. That drove me bananas! I enjoyed spending time with him in person, even without much physical contect, but afterwards I would be totally sad and need to eat chocolate. (Hmm... endorphin replacement? Who knows?)

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Yukamina

I don't get turned on by being around people, even if I think they're good-looking.

(I'm asexual, but I can get aroused by thoughts, writing, pictures...just doesn't make me wanna have sex)

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*a*rteest

Female asexual with a sex drive here.

I can look at a hot guy, or one with a nice body, and appreciate it for the beautiful thing it is. Kind of like looking at a pretty sunset or a spectacular waterfall.

However, the more stressed out I am the less I pay attention to anything beautiful. It's almost like I go on auto pilot and I'm just trying to get through my goddamned day.

I do now have a coworker who is so attractive that I've had to force myself to focus on my work. Plus, after spending a litte time with him and our friends, the sheer stress of my drive is causing my blood sugar to plummet so low I'm afraid I'll pass out at work.

However, I know this is only hormones, and it will pass. When I am actually SEEING him, though, even though he is very, very handsome, I have no desire to have sex (and my blood sugar is a lot more even keel, too :D ). Sex is just something I don't think about when other people are around.

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Steel

What little remains of my sexual drive is fetish oriented. It's one of the ways I used to sublimate it-with an end to eventually ridding myself of it alltogether.

I have been quite succesful-naked bodies, or people acting sexually really do nothing for me at all. In person, or images. I only have it bother me every few weeks now-and it's quite easy to put it away, for longer and longer periods of time-it's really about training your mind to enjoy other pleasures.

Which is what sublimation is all about-redirecting the body's energy to other things than your genitals.

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