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Where are all the preppy materialistic yuppie asexuals?


Georgetown

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One thing that has kept me from being more vocal and open about my asexuality is that it's hard to find asexual people who are also preppy materialistic young professionals like I am (not even kidding unfortunately about how I see myself).

 

Most of the asexual people I've met in real life or seen on dating websites tend to be artistic, free-spirited, and less interested in Corporate America and luxuries. While I super respect and understand these different approaches to life, it's just not what I want. I want to work long hours for a big company and live in a luxury apartment and drink cocktails and go to clubs and go on Caribbean vacations and hang out at country clubs. Most people I've met with this mindset tend to be gay or straight.

 

I think the "hipster" or "indie" lifestyle is over-represented among asexuals because it takes a certain kind of social free-thinking to come out as asexual, while the "yuppie" lifestyle is over-represented among heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals because those orientations are more established paths just like being a yuppie is. There's not necessarily a correlation between orientation and lifestyle, just a correlation between being open about one's orientation and choosing a certain lifestyle.

 

Anyway, I can't wait for the day when it's commonplace to see snobby asexual fraternities and sororities, doing all the materialistic preppy stuff everyone else does except they don't have sex. 

 

 

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I don't think you're alone!
My ideal lifestyle is wealth, suit and tie, legacy.
I'm also a bit of a free-spirit on the side.

I think there's a pretty normal percent of asexuals of every type out there.

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Oh, I'm a free spirit too in a lot of ways, but yes, I would love the lifestyle described in Brett Easton Ellis novels but without all the dark underbelly stuff. That would be very fun.

 

Asexuals would do very well if we ever reverted back to Victorian-style conservatism (which could happen if third-wave feminism destroys hookup culture actually). It'd be so easy to be proper and genteel without "temptation". 

 

 

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Not preppy, too old to be a yuppie, but materialistic, and as I run a business, albeit small, I count as corporated :P

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Here I am, my friend! Glad to hear that here are others. Every queer person I know in real life so far falls within the indie or hipster group, not a single of them is preppy. Nothing bad about that, it's who they are and I like them for who and what they are, yet I kinda miss some a-sexy people who can relate to that wish for a luxury, cocktail sipping "Upper East Side life", trying their best to actually live it or are actually living it to the fullest. :D Yes, I am quite materialistic for the most time, working hard for a future, investing time and money in education to climb a step further whenever possible. I chose what I study not only based on interest but on possible future career. A lot of friends can't understand that.

 

 

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Diamond Ace of Hearts
34 minutes ago, Sleighcaptain said:

Not preppy, too old to be a yuppie, but materialistic, and as I run a business, albeit small, I count as corporated :P

Nah, small business owner = entrepreneurial, no? Entrepreneurial is the opposite of corporate, although one can beget the other.

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28 minutes ago, rhwrd said:

Here I am, my friend! Glad to hear that here are others. Every queer person I know in real life so far falls within the indie or hipster group, not a single of them is preppy. Nothing bad about that, it's who they are and I like them for who and what they are, yet I kinda miss some a-sexy people who can relate to that wish for a luxury, cocktail sipping "Upper East Side life", trying their best to actually live it or are actually living it to the fullest. :D Yes, I am quite materialistic for the most time, working hard for a future, investing time and money in education to climb a step further whenever possible. I chose what I study not only based on interest but on possible future career. A lot of friends can't understand that.

 

 

That sounds so cool. I think showing there's a lot of diversity among asexual and queer people across all walks of life is a wonderful thing. This way everyone can have the lifestyle that makes them happy and not feel as though they need to compromise their gender or sexuality.

 

The New York area due to its size is probably better than other areas at representing the diversity within asexuality, but I really want to see this diversity spread to other cities.

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Diamond Ace of Hearts
56 minutes ago, Georgetown said:

I want to work long hours for a big company

Why though?

 

Not wishing to invalidate your life choices but seriously, why?

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1 minute ago, Diamond Ace of Hearts said:

Why though?

 

Not wishing to invalidate your life choices but seriously, why?

I love what I do, and oftentimes, you need to work long hours to just do a good job and meet all your responsibilities. It's very typical of the American workplace, particularly in information technology.

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4 hours ago, Georgetown said:

Most of the asexual people I've met in real life or seen on dating websites tend to be artistic, free-spirited, and less interested in Corporate America and luxuries. While I super respect and understand these different approaches to life, it's just not what I want. I want to work long hours for a big company and live in a luxury apartment and drink cocktails and go to clubs and go on Caribbean vacations and hang out at country clubs. Most people I've met with this mindset tend to be gay or straight.

What you describe brings back memories of when my dad's company was still alive and well in my childhood. My dad's old company (which actually was an IT company, go figure,) consisted of so many party bros, it was absurd. I remember the lavish business trips, especially the ones in the Caribbean. :P I was born into an absurd amount of privilege, though the biggest thing I miss from those days is just the lack of financial stress, as I don't like seeing my parents worry so much about the bills. Can't deny that those luxuries were nice though, and how I wish I could have a company-covered professional massage again someday.

 

That said, I'm a music scholar/educator, so unless I get into higher administrative work at a major university, I'm never going to make a six-figure salary, and the only way I'm going to get my travels paid for is if I fight quite adamantly for a travel grant, and that's not the vacation kind of travel. I do have some materialistic goals though, as I dream of building such a massive collection of percussion instruments in my lifetime that they could fill a museum when I die. Oh what I'd give to have a house full of every instrument I could ever want to play with. :P 

 

Honestly, all scholars are going to come off somewhat hipster, because you always have to focus on something that hasn't been done before, and that often means getting hyperspecific while studying an already obscure topic. (If provoked, I will gush about avant-garde berimbau music without a shred of irony. :lol:) That said, plenty of us scholars actually want others to know about our research interests, because there's fun in mutually geeking out about this stuff, so I think we're more receptive to the sharing of knowledge than fits the typical hipster stereotype. I will admit that academics still tend to be odd birds though. :P 

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8 hours ago, Georgetown said:

One thing that has kept me from being more vocal and open about my asexuality is that it's hard to find asexual people who are also preppy materialistic young professionals like I am (not even kidding unfortunately about how I see myself).

 

Most of the asexual people I've met in real life or seen on dating websites tend to be artistic, free-spirited, and less interested in Corporate America and luxuries. While I super respect and understand these different approaches to life, it's just not what I want. I want to work long hours for a big company and live in a luxury apartment and drink cocktails and go to clubs and go on Caribbean vacations and hang out at country clubs. Most people I've met with this mindset tend to be gay or straight.

 

I think the "hipster" or "indie" lifestyle is over-represented among asexuals because it takes a certain kind of social free-thinking to come out as asexual, while the "yuppie" lifestyle is over-represented among heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals because those orientations are more established paths just like being a yuppie is. There's not necessarily a correlation between orientation and lifestyle, just a correlation between being open about one's orientation and choosing a certain lifestyle.

 

Anyway, I can't wait for the day when it's commonplace to see snobby asexual fraternities and sororities, doing all the materialistic preppy stuff everyone else does except they don't have sex. 

 

 

OP, I'm interested by this post and you've given me something to think about, specifically, social norms, expectations, assumptions, etc. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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  • 2 weeks later...
LittleGoody2Shoes
On 12/24/2017 at 2:24 PM, Georgetown said:

Oh, I'm a free spirit too in a lot of ways, but yes, I would love the lifestyle described in Brett Easton Ellis novels but without all the dark underbelly stuff. That would be very fun.

 

Asexuals would do very well if we ever reverted back to Victorian-style conservatism (which could happen if third-wave feminism destroys hookup culture actually). It'd be so easy to be proper and genteel without "temptation". 

 

 

I second this. I have dreamed of this type of paradise. Not sure about the clothing though.

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A lot of the people discovering they're asexual are pretty young, ergo they're probably not businessmen.

 

Asexuality is something that pretty much wasn't around for the current older generation.

 

As for me, well, I'd be happy just finding something I enjoy doing.  I haven't yet (at least not anything that'll get me paid).  I prefer a simpler life.

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Always looking for answers
On 24-12-2017 at 8:03 PM, Georgetown said:

Most of the asexual people I've met in real life or seen on dating websites tend to be artistic, free-spirited, and less interested in Corporate America and luxuries.

 

Is it okay if I'm less interested in Corporate America but more in United Europe ;)  I'm pretty materialistic and after I get my master's degree will be looking for a job that will cost me at least 60 hours a week of my time. I love working hard and being succesful in my life. There's always room for personal improvement.

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I am always happy and playful I just do not like being lied to, tricked, setup, and played around with I am not a toy.

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  • 1 month later...
On 12/24/2017 at 11:03 AM, Georgetown said:

Anyway, I can't wait for the day when it's commonplace to see snobby asexual fraternities and sororities, doing all the materialistic preppy stuff everyone else does except they don't have sex. 

 

 

This is hilarious. I love this. Someone write a book or make a show. 

 

On another note though, I totally understand you. 

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Yes! Why cant somebody powerful just step up and give us a f* face? There's gotta be someone out there. As much as we believe in ourselves, it really doesn't mean much to put yourself out there if we don't have a 'name'. I can volunteer, just give me some time to get filthy rich and famous first.:D

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