Marriage Preferences

[Haze.]

I'm curious about what AVENites want in regards to marriage.

[Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet]

I would definitely want a  romantic marriage.

When it comes to a platonic relationship, I would want a civil union  for legal reasons.

[J. van Deijck]

I voted romantic and sensual, but I am in love, so you know.

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

3 minutes ago, [noize:injekktion] said:

I voted romantic and sensual.

Count me in. I'm just getting married to myself. What a bloody nightmare

[Lord Jade Cross]

So far theres a tie between options 1 & 6. I'll stick with #1.

[WinterWanderer]

I like living alone. I don't see any advantage in getting married at this point.

[Gloomy]

I don't want to get married for any reason.

[iff]

If I was to get married, I'd like it to be for romantic reasons.

[Haze.]

So far, this is cool! It shows that there is a variety of aspects that people want in marriage. I think marriage stereotypes should be thrown out of a skyscraper window!!

 

 

 

 

(Personally, I selected the platonic & sensual and the romantic & sensual, because I would be happy with either.)

[RoseGoesToYale]

Kind of like the idea of the fifth option. Someone who's like a friend and we cuddle, kiss, maybe occasionally do something kind of romantic-y, but only very limitedly, since romantic gestures freak me out.

[RottenInDenmark]

My Father used to say to me, about marriage.  ''Forget getting married'! Get a house together', Nothing ties two people together better than having a house. because if one' gets kicked out, the other will not be able to afford staying in the house. So you'll get the last laugh''  

 

my family may have had a small part of influence on me, a small part... but there are many reasons 'Why i don't wanna get married.   

.... if i ever wanted to get married, i guess i'll do it, If it feels' like we are already married.  

[Silk Bones]

I don't see a point in getting married, myself. I wouldn't mind calling someone my spouse, partner, or husband. However, the ring, ceremony, and paperwork just don't appeal to me.

[Arctangent]

I don't want to get married, so I picked the first option. I might consider marriage for legal/financial reasons in certain situations, but I'm not specifically looking for that.

[Lotta_Biscotti]

I'm kinda scared of marriage. I've seen some work out but so many others go wrong and that level of commitment isn't something I'd want to even approach with anyone I've ever met. There's just nobody I like that much and I don't believe in making a 'lifelong' commitment that you don't have every reason to believe you'll keep. Like, not a blind believing but a tried-and-true "I'm pretty sure at this point we're gonna stay this way" thing. I don't really even like the institution.

 

I feel like I could longterm-temporarily get married if I wanted to confer legal benefits to someone for a very good cause, but it's not something I could do if we were incompatible. I thought about a particular instance and realized I just wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it.

 

On the other hand, the only idea of be married that doesn't absolutely make me feel like throwing up and hiding in a hole somewhere is a romantic and sensual one, or something else that's friendly to me as an ace. I won't say it's impossible, just extremely improbable. I'm too picky and too weird, I think. I know what I like, and I won't settle. Pretty much shoots my chances.

 

Also... the idea of the typical wedding ceremony for -me- is total DNW. I mean, I'll go to other people's and it's fine, but I am absolutely not interested in anything in a Church, and probably not anything with more than a handful of friends, if anyone. Courthouse and vacation sounds like a better deal.

[Antihero.]

.
 

[straightouttamordor]

I have nothing against marriage. It's just too complex and draining to get unmarried if the scenario arises. So I will sit out that dance.

[everywhere and nowhere]

As a child I started declaring vehemently that I won't get married - meaning marriage to a man, because no other options existed at that time anyway.

Now I know that I prefer women anyway. On the other hand, Poland still doesn't even have registered partnerships. But if I had a partner and if Poland had same-sex marriage, would I want to marry? I guess not, anyway. I need my space and for example I don't think that I would want to constantly live with a partner. (On the other hand, I don't think that I could be happy in a purely long-distance relationship, I actually regret that the woman I'm interested in - two years older than me, currently "officially" my teacher and friend - lives on the other end of Warsaw and it proves to be a lot of distance, I can't just invite her to drop by and watch a movie together...) But I may have little idea about it - I have had little luck in this regard and have never been in a relationship.

[Quintus Crinis]

I picked romantic and sensual (tactile sense), but would also be happy with platonic and sensual.
 

I'm very fond of hugs and the idea of companionship.

[athenahono]

I'm currently in a relationship (where boundaries are completely respected on both sides which is a turn around from my last real relationship and the thing I had with my best guy friend that was respectful but weird. Hard to explain) and he respects me and my sexuality/romantic orientation, even if he doesn't fully get it. He's good to me and I can see myself with him for a while, even if nothing permanent comes out of it. I do hope that something does, but not right now. I need a lot longer and more stable relationship for that, despite having liked him for months.

But regardless of my current relationship, I do wish to have a romantic and sensual partnership. I crave emotional intimacy and simple physical contact such as cuddling and such. I would very much be content living with my best friend and raising a kid together even if there was no romantic feelings. My best friends and I are very touchy-feely and we understand each other on a deeper level. But at the same time I know I personally would eventually crave a romantic intimacy that you don't find in platonic, I often do. 

 

I honestly wouldn't care about actually getting married tbh, I just want that bond. If we had a kid then yes I would for legal reason such as determined custody if something happens to one partner and perhaps the financial things but other than that marriage doesn't really show much for me, despite growing up in a very conservative and Christian home (wow have I moved away from that, biromantic, demisexual and not into marriage much. sometimes conservative families are hard, I love them and there are a lot of values I picked up from them but goddamn it's hard sometimes.) 

 

But yeah those are my thoughts.

 

[Haze.]

1 hour ago, Quintus Crinis said:

I picked romantic and sensual (tactile sense), but would also be happy with platonic and sensual.
 

I'm very fond of hugs and the idea of companionship.

Me too!

 

42 minutes ago, athenahono said:

despite growing up in a very conservative and Christian home (wow have I moved away from that, biromantic, demisexual and not into marriage much. sometimes conservative families are hard, I love them and there are a lot of values I picked up from them but goddamn it's hard sometimes.) 

I come from the same kind of family. And I'm tri/biromantic asexual... xD So yeah, I feel you.

[ponz]

Romantic, platonic and sensual (to a degree)

[Baam]

Are you saying sensual in place of sexual? I'm a bit confused what you mean by sensual. When I say I prefer sensual + platonic marriage, sensual and sexual would be interchangeable in this context. Or perhaps sensual+sexual+platonic is a better description for what I mean. I also selected for legal reasons. And hell, I love food so much I'd have a wedding just for an excuse for a huge feast... Potatoes for all!

[cinary]

I don't really care about marriage, but if I ever got married, I want it to be platonic and sensual. I'm aromantic, so romance is, well, maybe not a no-no, if other person had romantic feelings towards me, it'd be okay, but the ideal partner would be another aromantic person. 

[Alejandrogynous]

I don't plan on ever getting married, but if I did, it would only be for legal/tax reasons in a relationship that's already long-standing and committed. Less of an, 'I love you, let's get married!' more of a, 'well we've been together ten years and neither of us plan on leaving, might as well get the tax breaks.' Doesn't matter if it's romantic or platonic, I don't need a piece of paper to prove my commitment to someone and I feel that this mentality of marriage being the end-goal of a relationship does far more harm than good in most cases.

[Haze.]

5 hours ago, Baam said:

Are you saying sensual in place of sexual? I'm a bit confused what you mean by sensual. When I say I prefer sensual + platonic marriage, sensual and sexual would be interchangeable in this context. Or perhaps sensual+sexual+platonic is a better description for what I mean.

Sorry! I meant this to not be related to sex, so sensual is NOT sexual. I'm not interested in how many people want sex in a marriage. So, if you want sex, you could be in any of the categories. Sensual+sexual+platonic is a better description of what you mean, I think, but for the purposes of what I wanted know, you would choose sensual+platonic.

It's like if you wanted a cake-eating romantic marriage. I wasn't trying to collect information on cake-eating in a marriage. So you would choose just romantic.

[Quintus Crinis]

11 hours ago, Baam said:

Are you saying sensual in place of sexual? I'm a bit confused what you mean by sensual. When I say I prefer sensual + platonic marriage, sensual and sexual would be interchangeable in this context. Or perhaps sensual+sexual+platonic is a better description for what I mean. I also selected for legal reasons. And hell, I love food so much I'd have a wedding just for an excuse for a huge feast... Potatoes for all!

My understanding is that "sexual" is generally intercourse and similar (i.e. involving gentials); whereas "sensual" is more generally tactile (i.e. from hugs/kissing to being "touchy-feely")?

[Haze.]

34 minutes ago, Quintus Crinis said:

My understanding is that "sexual" is generally intercourse and similar (i.e. involving gentials); whereas "sensual" is more generally tactile (i.e. from hugs/kissing to being "touchy-feely")?

Yes.

[Pramana]

I prefer either a platonic marriage or remaining single. There are some legal/tax benefits that attach to marriage in various jurisdictions, but in my view those benefits should be either made available to single people, or discontinued.

[Baam]

12 hours ago, Hazel_Elise said:

Sorry! I meant this to not be related to sex, so sensual is NOT sexual. I'm not interested in how many people want sex in a marriage. So, if you want sex, you could be in any of the categories. Sensual+sexual+platonic is a better description of what you mean, I think, but for the purposes of what I wanted know, you would choose sensual+platonic.

It's like if you wanted a cake-eating romantic marriage. I wasn't trying to collect information on cake-eating in a marriage. So you would choose just romantic.

Sure! No need to apologise, this makes sense. I did select sensual+platonic, so at least I didn't give you false info in the poll  . I would like to order a pie-eating sensual marriage, please.

 

6 hours ago, Quintus Crinis said:

My understanding is that "sexual" is generally intercourse and similar (i.e. involving gentials); whereas "sensual" is more generally tactile (i.e. from hugs/kissing to being "touchy-feely")?

Ah yes! This is what I was thinking as well, I guess I was a little confused because for me sensual and sexual always go together. I am never sensual with friends or family.

[Homer]

Legal reasons FTW. All the others can just as well be had without a piece of paper.

 

If I ever got married ( ) you couldn't even tell because I certainly won't move in with someone or anything. Keep everything separate, houses, bank accounts, you get the idea.