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Heart

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HELLO GENDER FORUM!

 

It's been a while. I've been busy. Which isn't an excuse so much as an explanation. But I hope it's been worth it, because one of the things I've been busy with is that shiny new pinned post some of you may notice.

 

I finally have my polished gender definitions, etiquette and FAQ thread!

 

If you have feedback, let's keep it to this thread and/or PMs, so we avoid cluttering up that new one. That way, it can stay for people who want to add definitions (because language evolves, and I'll never be perfect).

 

It's been a long journey. Thank you to everyone who helped with feedback along the way :cake:

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Aaaah, welcome back Heart!

 

I've skimmed through it / read most of it and only have one remark or question. Isn't the term "transexual" becoming more and more obsolete? The meaning you're stating is true afaik, but I'd maybe add that it's not the current terminology per se. In my experience many people dislike the term. Tell me if I'm wrong though.

 

Thanks for all the work you put into all of this! :cake:

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26 minutes ago, Finn. said:

 

Aaaah, welcome back Heart!

 

I've skimmed through it / read most of it and only have one remark or question. Isn't the term "transexual" becoming more and more obsolete? The meaning you're stating is true afaik, but I'd maybe add that it's not the current terminology per se. In my experience many people dislike the term. Tell me if I'm wrong though.

 

Thanks for all the work you put into all of this! :cake:

It's so good to be back :D It feels like coming home :cake:

 

The term transexual is becoming obsolete in some areas of the world, but I think other areas sometimes still use it. Particularly some institutions, like medical systems and/or government systems. I dunno. Maybe I'll put a note about it becoming obsolete, I'll try to think about how to word it properly. Thanks!

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butterflydreams
40 minutes ago, Heart said:

It's so good to be back :D It feels like coming home :cake:

 

The term transexual is becoming obsolete in some areas of the world, but I think other areas sometimes still use it. Particularly some institutions, like medical systems and/or government systems. I dunno. Maybe I'll put a note about it becoming obsolete, I'll try to think about how to word it properly. Thanks!

It’s funny, I’m actually identifying more and more with the term transsexual. I find it to be a more technically accurate word for what I’m doing. I don’t care for the sexual connotation of it, but I am technically transsexual.

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Yay for finishing your list my dear fluffy unicorn ^_^

 

I only have a comment about using the they/them pronouns when you're not sure of someones gender. It's better to ask the individual first before going straight into the they/them pronouns if you aren't sure on their gender rather then assuming it's generally good etiquette to do so without their permission.Members have the option to put their preferred pronouns in their profile section, if they don't then all you gotta do is ask them what they're preferred pronouns is.

 

In short: Ask first before doing what you consider good etiquette.

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22 hours ago, butterflydreams said:

It’s funny, I’m actually identifying more and more with the term transsexual. I find it to be a more technically accurate word for what I’m doing. I don’t care for the sexual connotation of it, but I am technically transsexual.

This is one of the reasons I hesitate to call it obsolete. I know some people here too who like the term more than transgender. I think I'll hold off on saying it's becoming obsolete for now, simply because I can't predict the future. Maybe it'll become obsolete, but maybe not, who knows?

 

4 hours ago, Santa's Little Elf said:

Yay for finishing your list my dear fluffy unicorn ^_^

 

I only have a comment about using the they/them pronouns when you're not sure of someones gender. It's better to ask the individual first before going straight into the they/them pronouns if you aren't sure on their gender rather then assuming it's generally good etiquette to do so without their permission.Members have the option to put their preferred pronouns in their profile section, if they don't then all you gotta do is ask them what they're preferred pronouns is.

 

In short: Ask first before doing what you consider good etiquette.

K, I'll think about how to make that more clear. That was what was in my head, but I'll try to write it more explicitly; I had meant it to be a "use they until you get a chance to ask or if you've forgotten and can't ask or check right then", but I'll make that more explicit.

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Calligraphette_Coe

Hi Heart! It just hasn't been the same without you around here. Welcome back!

 

I liked the part in the FAQ about deadnaming. Considering all the hassle that goes into a legal name change, it's particularly frustrating and hurtful to have to relive the past by having those bones dug up.

 

I was thinking about something happened to me here over a year ago, and it got me thinking about a term that's an offshoot: deadgendering. It was particularly hurtful to have shared feelings about a sexual assault and then be deadgendered by somewhere here. And to never have received an apology or acknowledgement of having  been wronged. I really, really felt like disappearing forever. It really, really felt that humiliating.

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20 hours ago, Heart said:

K, I'll think about how to make that more clear. That was what was in my head, but I'll try to write it more explicitly; I had meant it to be a "use they until you get a chance to ask or if you've forgotten and can't ask or check right then", but I'll make that more explicit.

Cool. It would definetly help getting rid of the constant "I do not know who you are so i call you they" after you correct them about it or when your pronouns pretty clear. Also, this should also be pinned in Hot Box if i may be so free to say this, maybe you could have a chat about this with the mods? I'd love to see this as a guideline when people are planning to have a heated discussion in Gender related topic's.

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On 12/13/2017 at 10:52 PM, Calligraphette_Coe said:

Hi Heart! It just hasn't been the same without you around here. Welcome back!

 

I liked the part in the FAQ about deadnaming. Considering all the hassle that goes into a legal name change, it's particularly frustrating and hurtful to have to relive the past by having those bones dug up.

 

I was thinking about something happened to me here over a year ago, and it got me thinking about a term that's an offshoot: deadgendering. It was particularly hurtful to have shared feelings about a sexual assault and then be deadgendered by somewhere here. And to never have received an apology or acknowledgement of having  been wronged. I really, really felt like disappearing forever. It really, really felt that humiliating.

I'm so so glad you ended up staying around, and it's amazing to be back. So many familiar faces! I'm sorry that happened to you, and I shall (hopefully) be around a little more to try and keep gender as awesome a place as we can manage. Forums are never perfect, but that just means my job is never done ;)

 

I'll see if I can work in something about deadgendering too. It probably fits nicely somewhere :)

 

On 12/14/2017 at 6:56 AM, Santa's Little Elf said:

Cool. It would definetly help getting rid of the constant "I do not know who you are so i call you they" after you correct them about it or when your pronouns pretty clear. Also, this should also be pinned in Hot Box if i may be so free to say this, maybe you could have a chat about this with the mods? I'd love to see this as a guideline when people are planning to have a heated discussion in Gender related topic's.

I'll bring this suggestion to the team, thank you!

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  • 1 month later...

K, in an uncharacteristic burst of speed, I think I managed to incorporate these suggestions :D

 

*finally ticks them all off*

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