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mari

There are any men on here?

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Gone Boy

I am guilty. I am a male. new to the group so have not yet noticed the demographics.

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On 10/27/2018 at 5:01 AM, MandyBOB said:

Wow! So many of you 🌺 It makes me wonder, I’ve heard 1% a few times but that would mean 10,000 out of every million people (I think I did the math right)... so where are they?? On this wonderful forum, yes, but where are they in my neighborhood or state for that matter??? Just curious... I have to say, I’m sooo very grateful to have you all to “talk” to now! I too am 45 and just found a name for this about 4 years ago

We're actually ghosts, that's why you can't see us :)  I do agree with you that this site is a blessing.  When I discovered it and started reading some stuff I started to understand a lot about myself.  I realized I'd basically hidden my  asexuality from myself,  primarily due to ignorance (who knew there was such a thing?) and societal pressures/assumptions.

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Dreamsexual

.

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starting over

 I don’t necessarily envy them either but I would absolutely like to go back to my 18-year-old self and know that I was a sexual… I would be willing to do it all again if I have that knowledge and knew I would get my 2 children one day…  that’s all I would ask. 

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will123
13 hours ago, 012 said:

We're actually ghosts, that's why you can't see us :)  I do agree with you that this site is a blessing.  When I discovered it and started reading some stuff I started to understand a lot about myself.  I realized I'd basically hidden my  asexuality from myself,  primarily due to ignorance (who knew there was such a thing?) and societal pressures/assumptions.

I was having a chat with a female friend the other night. I came out to her a week or so ago and she was fine with that.

 

Anyways I botched the chat and it git really confusing. What I was trying to ask her was did she get the feeling that I may have been humiliated in telling her that I had no sexual attraction to others and was still a virgin at my age? (For the record I wasnt bothered). She asked me why I thought of this question. I said that society puts so much pressure on males to be masculine, sexual beings that some guys might feel bad if they weren't. She said she didn't really care what society thinks about a lot of things.

 

Just my opinion, but I think this shame and/or humiliation may explain why males are under-represented on AVEN. "You're not interested in sex? There's something wrong with you..."

 

That being said, some of us aces will tell the world that we asexual, while others are very guarded in who we tell (I fall into the latter group).

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simon999

Yes it is difficult I don't even know any asexuals. For most of my life I didn't even know the movement existed and coming up to 44 I dare say it may be too late for me to get effection especially as the sites always ask whether I want a man or a woman but they are both as good I don't see why I need to choose. 

 

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will123
20 minutes ago, simon999 said:

Yes it is difficult I don't even know any asexuals. For most of my life I didn't even know the movement existed and coming up to 44 I dare say it may be too late for me to get effection especially as the sites always ask whether I want a man or a woman but they are both as good I don't see why I need to choose. 

 

I didnt know a thing about asexuality until I WAS 44.

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chairdesklamp

I'm male. Actually, that's why I'm so confused about my romantic attraction, because how much of it is "guys just aren't into mushy stuff" and how much of that is even true? Unlike others who ask for help with naming it, I'm not getting answers, though. Then again, I didn't even get the standard welcome, so maybe I'm just unwanted...

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Jon A.
1 hour ago, chairdesklamp said:

I'm male. Actually, that's why I'm so confused about my romantic attraction, because how much of it is "guys just aren't into mushy stuff" and how much of that is even true?

That's a blanket statement and sheer rubbish in my own experience.

 

I know that a lot of guys are dismissive of the concerns of their male comrades. Because of this I've learned to keep my mouth shut in most cases because they'll likely be careless in their responses and make it worse.

 

Back when I first started liking girls I was mortified about admitting it because I would be mocked. Later on it became more socially acceptable what with the increasing emphasis on sex, as if being a super stud made attraction okay. That wasn't really the case with me though; it often led to cruel pranks.

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Windspiel

I am born as male too, even though I don't truly identify with it. In fact I don't have that much in common with most guys, and the older I get the less in common I have with them. I draw, paint, color floral patterns in coloring books, bind my own ace rings and other "unmanly" stuff. But I don't care about that honestly because I do my own thing anyway.

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Dreamsexual
On 21 May 2019 at 8:19 PM, Toa Lhikan said:

I do my own thing anyway

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