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might be agender?


5amlight

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it took quite a bit for me to post this.

 

ever since i found out i was asexual (basically figuring out there's more than straight, gay, and bi) i've been kind of questioning my gender? i wouldn't say that i'd rather be a boy (i'm born female) but i don't really feel like a girl either. but this can just be an asexual thing. over a month ago, i really started considering if i might be agender. but it doesn't make much sense, seeing that i love my long hair (awesome curtain to hide behind in class) and dress "like a girl" every once in a while (which basically means not me in a shirt and jacket and jeans). i've always liked the things girls did, when i was younger. (except boys because ew.) i never felt like i was missing something because i always dismissed my body. me, being female, seemed more of a fact about me than something that was something i identified with.

 

i'm kind of afraid to start identifying as agender because i do lean more toward the feminine side. what do you think?

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Being feminine doesn't mean you're not agender, since gender expression and gender identity are not necessarily the same. Do you feel uncomfortable with your female body or with being referred to as a girl?

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being referred to as a girl, well i have gotten used to it over the years so it doesn't really bother me. i find my female parts gross, so i guess you could say i feel uncomfortable with my body. but i wouldn't want a man's body, either.

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That is basically how I feel, too. I'm used to "being a girl" and I don't have any desire to change pronouns or something like that. I don't really like my female body, but I wouldn't want to have a male one either. I feel like gender is just an overall outdated construct...

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i did some more digging and i think that i might be a demigirl. it suits me more, since i don't wholly identify as female either. 

On 12/5/2017 at 8:49 PM, LadyFie said:

That is basically how I feel, too. I'm used to "being a girl" and I don't have any desire to change pronouns or something like that. I don't really like my female body, but I wouldn't want to have a male one either. I feel like gender is just an overall outdated construct...

yeah, agreed.

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Squirrelylovessquirrels

I am actually not agender. I changed my mind suddenly sorry. 

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Janus the Fox

Quite the same for me yes, figuring out the ace and bi stuff lead to an interesting question with the gender.  Basically I'm a male, can freely admit of wanting to become for female, cross-dressed as well, makes absolutely no difference to me what I wear, prefer fem clothes, so light and gentle to the skin some clothes, loved my hair and nails long too.  I plan on at the very least have a few days every so often in private with the BF to facilitate in wearing all fem around the home some time in future.

 

Also there's the body question, I prefer a feminine body much more, often like a blank slate body, neither one or the other, I 'think' my body is around like this, minimal muscle, no body hair, fem hair preference.  Then there's the genital question, that's variable, often wish there's nothing there, fine with being male, but at times, wanted a female or a combination of the two at some point fluidly.  The fluidity is mild that it doesn't compel me to express the gender differently beyond the occasional cross-dressing.

 

For what I think, there isn't exactly an agender expression that fits at all times, it may not exist that well for me having no real inclination toward any gendered clothing except at the times of desiring to cross-dress, can't even be sure if such is sexual fetishist motivated.  Pronouns too I don't have a preference with, any pronoun is fine or even non-gendered pronouns are fine with me.

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On 9.12.2017 at 11:04 PM, Squirrelylovessquirrels said:

I am actually not agender. I changed my mind suddenly sorry. 

No need to feel sorry. :cake:

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On 12/9/2017 at 4:04 PM, Squirrelylovessquirrels said:

I am actually not agender. I changed my mind suddenly sorry. 

Take your time figuring things out.  There is no rush.  And if you aren't sure what gender you identify with, know that you can just choose to not identify as anything at all yet.  Best of luck to you.  :) 

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