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Eye contact questions


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Eye contact questions  

171 members have voted

  1. 1. Who would you use eye contact with?

    • Anyone
      87
    • Aquaintances
      27
    • Friends
      48
    • Very Close friends
      63
    • Relatives
      36
    • Close Family
      59
    • Romantic Partners
      46
    • No One
      25
  2. 2. How often do you use eye contact?

    • A lot every day
      48
    • Every day but just a little
      63
    • Often but not every day
      16
    • Maybe a few times a week
      12
    • Maybe once a month
      3
    • Very rarely
      19
    • Never
      10
  3. 3. How does eye contact feel?

    • It feels good
      8
    • It feels neither good or bad
      41
    • It varies
      68
    • It feels bad
      49
    • Other
      5
  4. 4. What do you think of someone you're talking to not making eye contact?

    • They are rude
      9
    • They are untrustworthy
      5
    • It's unpleasant
      17
    • I don't care
      81
    • It's good
      22
    • I don't notice (maybe because I don't make eye contact)
      74
    • other
      21

This poll is closed to new votes


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Lately Some things made me remember about the thing of eye contact, which is apparently a normal part of conversation for people.

 

I used to obssess badly when I first found out about it but since I thankfully got over that I'm just curious and I had the idea to make a poll to see how wide spread the phenomenom of eye contact really is...

 

My answers are that I still don't use eye contact at all, with anyone, It feels very bad for me which is difficult to explain but that is the reason I am against learning to use it, and I don't notice when people are attempting to use it on me or not because I'm not looking at their eyes.

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Do you mean "using" it like a tool? Like "I'll look them in the eye to make them do xy"?

 

I always thought of it as kind of natural. Just a sign that someone is actually talking to me. How else am I supposed to know that someone isn't just shouting out in the void or talking to themselves or something?

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1 minute ago, Homer said:

Do you mean "using" it like a tool? Like "I'll look them in the eye to make them do xy"?

 

I always thought of it as kind of natural. Just a sign that someone is actually talking to me. How else am I supposed to know that someone isn't just shouting out in the void or talking to themselves or something?

I think if it's natural to you it counts as using it for this question, just making eye contact in any way counts as using eye contact

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So it's

 

everyone - a lot - meh - other because it seems like they're not listening

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I have always struggled with eye contact, as a child it annoyed my various speech therapists (public health system so lots of rotation).

 

Even now as an adult, my eye contact is very poor. It is just something I'm not comfortable with.

 

If someone else is making eye contact with me, I find it a bit unnerving.

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I can make eye contact, but I have trouble knowing how long to hold it. When I had an evaluation earlier this year, the tester noticed that I would look right at them for a little while, and then look away. I also hate being looked at.

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I hate making prolonged eye contact with people, it feels really uncomfortable somehow; if I'm talking to someone I'll look at them briefly, and then look away and focus on an inanimate object somewhere near them so they don't think I'm rude. 

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I use eye contact with everyone I interact with for a number of reasons. I rely a little on lipreading, so I do need to make eye contact for that. But also, it's rude and confusing if you don't. It's like not giving someone the time of day. I want to make sure people I'm interacting with know that they actually have my attention and that I'm talking to them.

 

Like I said, I make eye contact whenever I interact with someone. It's obviously not a staring contest - I don't hold the eye contact the entire time. But if I talk to someone in person, I do make eye contact.

 

Eye contact doesn't make me feel anything. It just lets me know that the person is listening to me and paying attention. If they don't make eye contact with me, it's like they're saying "go away!"

 

Honestly, if someone doesn't make eye contact with me, I either think they're being rude on purpose or they're somewhere on the spectrum. 

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I have heard that there is a strong cultural component regarding the value of eye contact.

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I find eye contact very awkward, even though it's a very good cue for starting/finishing your part in a conversation. My eyes always drift to look at something behind the person I am talking to. I don't like people looking directly at me either, as I am very self-conscious and always think that there is something wrong with my hair/just my face in general. It has gotten better as I've got older, however I can never hold eye contact, so I worry that people may think I'm not interested in what they're saying, but I truly am. 

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It's normal for me, though I can easily carry on conversations without consistent eye contact as well. I multitask a lot, so when people are talking to me my eyes might be on something I'm reading, or I might be writing something while they're talking to me, but I'm still listening; however, eye contact at least reassures them I'm paying some level of attention.

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SamwiseLovesLife

Eye contact with everyone every day! :D

 

If someone isn't giving it I assume they are shy or might be on the autistic spectrum

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To me the whole eye contact thing was like sex, i thought it was a myth that people liked doing it.

So no i dont do eye contact with people, i dont have any problem with animals for some reason...

I did get "somewhat neurotic" from some test before defense forces "draft", which resulted in automatic 1 year suspension on draft (later i was relieved totally from it but that was for different reason) Havent really been tested for any mental things, woulndt surprise me much if i had some mild form of autism or such.

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I always make eye contact with people I'm talking to, although I prefer to not make eye contact when I'm the one that's talking, I just look everywhere then.

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I used to not be able to look people in the eye. Got over it and made a habit out of it, because I realised that it often makes the other person feel valued in what they say (that's what I feel when people look at me while talking). I also think that when people talk, they also display a lot more on their faces than what they say, so looking at people while talking tells much about how they feel and what they might think.

Of course I don't mean staring at people like they're some kind of fascinating creature. It's just about paying attention to them.

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BinaryFission

When I first read the title, I though you were actually talking about eye contacts? You know, the stuff you put ok your eye? So, I was really confused on why you wanted opinions on contacts (me being an occasional wearer) and I wanted to help...but thats fine, I still answered them anyways despitemy confusion.:redface:

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Eye contact is a dominance thing. You make eye contact when you are direct, to have a stronger influence over someone. 

 

That feeling you get when looking someone in the eye is like linking your emotions with someone for a breif second. Your body is taking in all the micro expressions.The more you trust someone, the easier it is to look them in the eye. When you do something bad to someone, you can't look them in the eye easily because of guilt.

 

Timid/shy people can't look others in the eye because they feel exposed. Self esteem issues will also do this. 

 

I tend to look everyone in the eye unless I'm upset.

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Groovy Teacakes

I love eye contact, the connection it creates. I have this one friend who makes lots of eye contact and it's fantastic to talk to her. When people don't make eye contact I assume they're nervous or avoidant.

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nerdperson777

When people don't make eye contact, I feel like they're ignoring me.  But I'm not good with eye contact either so they may have my same issue.

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I make eye contact with people when I’m talking to them or they’re talking to me, but I can’t hold it for very long. I have to look away after a minute or so.

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I never know where to look when I'm talking to people, so I vary between not looking at them at all or looking them in the eye. Not looking at them is apparently considered rude, so I try not to do this, but apparently so is looking people directly in the eye. I've been trying lately to aim for looking more generally at people's faces, but I don't know if people can tell the difference between that and looking them in the eye. As to how it feels, it feels like I'm looking at somebody and see their eyes. There's no particular feeling, aside from perhaps slight discomfort, but that's mostly if they react oddly to it. I would never notice if somebody's looking at me or not.

 

 

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I hate eye contact, so I fake it. If you look at the spot between a persons eyes, they think they're being looked at directily in the eyes. I only do this as I work in an job where eye contact is essential to help people feel comfortable with and trust you. Unfortunately I can't fake physical contact (handshakes and hugging) which I also hate.

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PerhapsSomeHotCocoa

I really don't like holding eye contact in most situations, but I know I have to for various reasons. So I try to keep it to a minimum if I can.

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Making eye contact with people when talking with them is definitely not something I do naturally. I've been taking American Sign Language classes for the past year, which I really enjoy, but probably the hardest part is maintaining eye contact. Even if I'm trying to stare at someone, I can't make myself look them in the eye for more than a few seconds at a time.

I'll try to make eye contact when having a conversation with someone I don't know well or sometimes with friends as a way of saying 'I'm not joking around here' but the longer I've known someone, the less I feel like I have to make eye contact with them (mostly because I feel like they know that I'm not trying to be rude by not making eye contact, it's just something I don't tend to do).

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I look at people's noses or right between their eyes. They never notice the difference and I don't have to feel really uncomfortable.

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  • 2 weeks later...

1. No one

2. Often but not every day. Because sometimes I feel like I must, in order to acknowledge someone or to be polite. Or my mom will get upset with me for not doing it.

3. It feels bad.

4. I don't notice.

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Making eye contact never came naturally for me, and never will. I refuse to be apologetic about that, and i wish that society would just accept that some people don't make eye contact because we are just not wired that way; we are not trying to be disrespectful or anything. 

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