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Hi there, I need some help


TailAce45

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Hi. I just recently joined this forum as I believe I am asexual, although now my sexuality has never been more confusing. Plus I REALLY need help here as I am suffering from anxiety about things related to sexuality.

 

First of all I am 23 and I only recently discovered I am asexual this year. So for the longest time I thought I was homosexual in my early teens and then heterosexual for the rest until now. During those times I had experimented through various kinks/fetishes in the realm of fiction and most of the time it's been with female characters, but in real life I've never once been sexually attracted to anyone, male or female. In fact the idea of sex and intimacy grossed me out back in school! But I never thought about asexuality because, like I said, I still had turn ons and kinks. I can see the aesthetic appeal in attractive bodies and I can get aroused by them but no desire to have sex with anyone. Thankfully when I learned more about asexuality things became less confusing.

 

However nowadays I'm suffering from two issues with my anxiety and sexuality. One being is that I still practice kinks and fetishes (mainly tickling). However I wanted to be "innocent" when finding out about my asexuality and only practice these kinks just to satisfy my hormones. Now I'm not only confused but also disgusted that I didn't keep that promise to myself. :(

 

Which brings me to the second issue. I'm also a furry. However recently I have gotten huge anxiety about it, because I also love real animals. I hope to either become a wildlife biologist or somewhere along the lines of helping animals, but my interest in furries (and yes, it can be sexual) has made me like I'm supporting "bestiality". :( It's only anthropomorphic animals I'm interested in and write about and they have human bodies whenever the sexual stuff involved but it still makes me panic. I know this all sounds very silly but it's what I'm going through.

 

Now I'm in despair and ashamed. What should I do? I feel like I've ruined my life at this point. Thanks for reading.

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Hi there, and welcome. :cake:

 

I don't think you should be ashamed of practicing your kinks or fetishes. I think there's too much shame cast towards consensual activities like that. It can take a while, but I believe it's possible for you to come to terms with a perceived conflict between asexuality and other stimulating and satisfying activity by redirecting your thoughts when you feel guilty.

 

Regarding the furry thing, you might get better answers from other furries. A lot of the kinks and fetishes people have are simply lived as separate and disconnected activities from real life, because that's just how they work. They're fulfilling fantasies, or expressing a specific part of you. That you only like anthropormorphized animals in this way makes it seem pretty clear it has nothing to do with working with animals from the natural world.

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I'd say your promise to yourself was simply denying what is a valid interest. There was no reason to feel guilty for that you were not impacting or upsetting anyone else. And for sure;

10 minutes ago, Snao Cone said:

it has nothing to do with working with animals from the natural world.

 

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So you feel ashamed for being a kinky ace and a kinky furry? Well, most asexuals masturbate and most use some form of erotica to do so, so being asexual has nothing to do with "purity".  And being a kinky furry has nothing to do with beastiality. One can consent and reciprocate, the other can't. One is anthropamorphic, the other isn't. In fact, being into anthros can be explained away through the instinct to diversify the gene pool. It's the same reason accents and whatnot are attractive; they're features that mean this other person is likely not related to you, but they're anthro so you're likely able to reproduce with them. People who commit beastiality likely aren't into consent, furry erotica includes consent.

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Thanks for the replies everyone.

 

I suffer majorly from anxiety which has caused this but thanks to all of your advice I feel a bit better and more understanding. Right now I'm in a bit of a mess but I'll recover. Once again thanks everyone! :)

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Hey, highfive, I'm in the same furry boat as well, except I've considered myself Ace for a few years now. Don't stress, everything gets better with time.

 

I had a question though, I only know one furry Ace, but he's trans, so idk if that plays a factor in it. I wanted to know if furry stuff makes you uncomfortable, even nauseous at times, art is usually OK with me, but a few months ago I started watching nonsexual furry content on youtube, and after about a month I couldn't watch it anymore, the ones where they just talk make me really uneasy, and most notably I watched somebody show off their dancing in a suit, and felt almost sick. Do you ever feel weird viewing furry content?

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@Kazka Furry stuff doesn't make me uncomfortable unless the content is REALLY weird and creepy. I also use to get confused with people dressing up as animals but that was way back in my early teens, now I'm use to it. I think all of this is just another symptom of anxiety thats making me fear that, what turns me on sexually, will affect my future career.

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  • 8 months later...

I've recently had my anxiety gotten a bit worse over this. I've done some SFW and NSFW art and uploaded both separately on different accounts (keeping things private so I won't show them). I know this is not uncommon for a lot of furry artists these days but sometimes it makes me anxious about how, those who watch my SFW work, would react if they found out about my NSFW art. It also makes me worried if some people from there will question my asexuality. 

 

I'm a major anxiety sufferer so that probably is why I feel this way.

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20 hours ago, TailAce45 said:

I've recently had my anxiety gotten a bit worse over this. I've done some SFW and NSFW art and uploaded both separately on different accounts (keeping things private so I won't show them). I know this is not uncommon for a lot of furry artists these days but sometimes it makes me anxious about how, those who watch my SFW work, would react if they found out about my NSFW art. It also makes me worried if some people from there will question my asexuality. 

 

I'm a major anxiety sufferer so that probably is why I feel this way.

I write nsfw stuff on an alt too, and I openly call myself ace on my page, and I know of two other aces in the space as well. Just toss "I'm asexual" on your page, furries are usually very accepting.

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6 hours ago, Kazka said:

I write nsfw stuff on an alt too, and I openly call myself ace on my page, and I know of two other aces in the space as well. Just toss "I'm asexual" on your page, furries are usually very accepting.

I've said I'm ace on both accounts as well. Its just anxiety keeps bothering me about this. Also I was thinking about uploading some pieces I uploaded on my NSFW account to my SFW account. Not the explicit ones, just the general rated ones I only uploaded on my NSFW account. 

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I guess I missed half of what you said, I guess the most important thing to think of would be what they actually would do, most people if they like it enough would be happy to find more work from an artist, or will avoid it if it's not what they want, those that don't really care will continue to really not care.

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