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Virginity


dogmom

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Just wondering about those of us who have never had sex. For years and years I thought I was a freak and it's a joy knowing I'm not alone in this world. I am curious about something. If you don't mind telling your age I am wondering who the oldest virgin is (male and female) is in this group. I am a 60 year old female.

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Benchmark (so to speak!) established - I'm a 59yrold virgin (doesnt mean a damn but I'd both fight to the death & kill to retain my being-)

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53 year old virgin male here.

So that movie about a 40 year old virgin is childs play. :D :D :D

I never had a desire to have sex. Never tempted. It just wasn't a part of my being.

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Don't know if I qualify or not. I've never had sex, but I WAS raped at the age of 10. I have gotten rid of the rage about that!

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I'm a bit out of the running here at a mere 42...

Although I've tried, I'm incapable of sex.

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Well Mackat I will hand my title over to you since I definately wouldn't count rape as having sex. So far we have 53 y.o. male and 64 y.o female for the titles

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Hmm, who needs the competition?

We are as we are (thenkyu Popeye!)

(This is a joke, for those of you who dont hear ANZ accents!)

I've been a - natural neuter - all my life. I've never been interested in any kind of sex, consensual or otherwise, and yes, I am a virgin - but wait! Why is virginity prized? Is this not some sort of patriarchial religious thing? It sure isnt any kind of Maori/Polynesian standard- none of us think it good or desirable. laudable in any way.

So, the way I am, the who of me, is actually not a matter of pride within my tribe, hapu, whanau-

and so? There are some very foreign values floating around here-

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and so? There are some very foreign values floating around here-

Thats ok......There are foriegn values floating around here to.

The U.S. is so big that each region has its own mores and values. And sometimes within a region you will find pockets of differing values from those people around them.

It's not all religious based either, although much of it is. Some mores are cultural based or environmental based. Alot of our clothing mores are based on environment. Its really funny watching people up north wearing string bikinis in cold, wet, windy climates, just because thats what girls wear on our southern beaches where the more clothing you wear the worse you feel.

I'm a nudist, but where I live I can only go outside nude about half the year, the rest of the year I'd be freezing some important extremities off. :D So here in my area, nudists aren't widely excepted. Our laws tend to discriminate against going nude, even in private, but in very warm climates, nudity is fully accepted. Some blame it on churches but there are as many churches where nudity is accepted as there are where nudity isn't. I tend to think its based more on environment. If it was hot and stayed hot, then more people would be shucking their clothes and nudity would be acceptable.

Just some thoughts.

I sorta strayed I think. :D :D :D

I think I would like living on one of the polynesian islands. Cause I'm a pretty laid back kind of a guy. But I think maybe we westerners have messed up the island cultures enough, so I'll stay away and maybe islanders can reclaim some of their heritage.

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Well, I'm 49, so can't take the title! A young friend (sexual, male) can hardly believe it. I recently texted a couple who are married, older friends - no response. OK, so they are onl holiday, but I bet I have shocked them into silence or disbelief!!

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Tygrrheart49

I am also 49. Never felt the urge at all. Thought I was only one like that. It is nice to know I'm not alone.

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Wee_Little_Me
I'm a bit out of the running here at a mere 42...

lol. You didnt think you'd ever say that again, did ya! lol I love AVEN.

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Ziffler- interesting comments re clothing-

Polynesians in general - before the advent of colonisers - had a very relaxed view of clothing - anybody going swimming was naked- females didnt cover breasts, males didnt cover penes, kids ran naked BUT

-for adults, two bits were *always* covered in public - tip/glans of penis

and 'te roto' (my tribe's dialect) - that triangular bit of females that includes clitoris & labia major-

there is a wonderful tale (from the North Island) about a group who were beseiged, with their female chief: her enemy salaciously said - all who pass through your legs (means, have a view of your vagina as in sexual intercourse) in my next 30 breaths(=about a minute) will save their lives-

whereupon the sagacious chief sprang to the top of the main building and stood there, legs apart - and all her people passed underneath her, into the building, and were safe-

yep, even in nasty warfare, some things were sacrosanct-both the names of the heroic woman *and* the invading warrior are remembered-

which *also* (I think) goes to show that there were proprieties & expediences-

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Hi Islander,

I have watched numerous movies, documentaries and missionary films on the colonization of the islands, and it always struck me as mean making the islanders wear clothes. One look at them, and you could see how uncomfortable they were. And I also found it peculiar when disease was brought to the islands, that the missionaries would burn up with fever before removing their clothes.

I was watching a documentary the other day about a peoples where the men wear a long thin cone/tube on their manhood. Nothing else, just that cone. I thought that had to be cumbersome trying to work with that thing sticking up in your way. But its a sign of pride and honor and status and their cultural mores.

Well, I gotta get to work, ttyl,

Ziff

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Hmmm, quite a title to have, and I have no interest in changing. It's not that I value being a virgin, it's just that I have no interest at all in being anything else. And at 64 this year, too old for that anyway!!!! :) I have seen a few fellows that I like the looks of, but...............

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Oooo! Y! If you called my nearly-80yrold mother 'an emotional cripple about babies and things' she'd take your head off! And she really is a compassionate & deeply socially-skilled woman too... I come from a family of matriarchs (especially the Maori & Scots sides): my tribe is basically run by what we call 'the aunties' (ka taua who keep in touch with everybody and thus, can sum up local feelings v. quickly - my mother is a taua). Virginity was only prized if you were a certain kind of person (he puhi) but was otherwise - not an issue. Childbearing abilities were esteemed (my mother has brought up six of us, and we are all variously adept & useful members of ANZ society...)

ah well, different folks, different strokes-

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  • 3 weeks later...

hello you mates! :lol:

it's a very good relief to know that we're not alone!!!!!!!!!

i'm 36 years old and virgin male;i'm very good with myself and i'v alway liked being alone;you know how they say:better alone than in bad company(but i cancel the word bad and would say in my case than in company! :lol: except the one of my beloved dog)

anyway, glad to know i,m not the only asexual in the world1

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FelineFanatic
Just wondering about those of us who have never had sex. For years and years I thought I was a freak and it's a joy knowing I'm not alone in this world. I am curious about something. If you don't mind telling your age I am wondering who the oldest virgin is (male and female) is in this group. I am a 60 year old female.

I just wanted to say hello and welcome to AVEN. I am happy to see another older member. :D :cake:

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FelineFanatic
Ziffler- interesting comments re clothing-

Polynesians in general - before the advent of colonisers - had a very relaxed view of clothing - anybody going swimming was naked- females didnt cover breasts, males didnt cover penes, kids ran naked BUT

-

This was so intereting to read. It brings back long ago memories (circa [lol] 1973) of my college sociology class where all we learned that polynesian women went topless and it was fine and tht American women should start going topless, too. Obviously this prof. was a little too into women's breasts.

I love learning about other cultures and reading your posts has been uplifting. :cake:

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hello you mates! :lol:

it's a very good relief to know that we're not alone!!!!!!!!!

i'm 36 years old and virgin male ;i'm very good with myself and i'v alway liked being alone;you know how they say:better alone than in bad company(but i cancel the word bad and would say in my case than in company! :lol: except the one of my beloved dog)

anyway, glad to know i,m not the only asexual in the world1

sorry, i think i'm quite out of the running myself too;only at 36

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Welcome to AVEN, godric! Please do stick around enjoy the boards.

And mackat, you're certainly a virgin in my eyes.

I'm just a teeny baby virgin at 21, but it's really fun to see all the big grownup virgins :D I love you guys!

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jay williams

Bravo, all of you virgins! Quite remarkable indeed! I am about to make a confession. I am not an asexual in the pure sense of the word. I have sexual/erotic feelings and desires. As a teenager and in my twenties I held the belief that genital interaction with another was the ultimate joy, ultimate act of intimacy, love, etc. I suspect that the basis of this notion is from the "aura" of our culture, fueled by hormonal secretions.

My experiences failed to confirm my expectations. At some point, in my thirties, I came to recognize that I had no desire for the sex act. I just did not want any---with anybody! Ever since, I have felt that I am just not oriented toward copulation, even if I do have erotic feelings. It is weird, and I can't explain. But it is clear that I have no desire to screw, and I have been that way for 25 years or longer.

I do think it took experimenting to discover my sexuality---or lack thereof. For that reason, I always used to think that a virgin was not someone with whom to have a relationship. I figured that a virgin would always wonder, and would always want to have to experiment to find out what sex was like. But I got to tell you: if you made it for 50 years or longer and never had sex, I am guessing that you are certifiably confirmed as forever cool. Asexuals Rule!

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Yes, I agree! ASEXUALS RULE!!! :D

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JAY WILLIAMS SAID " I am about to make a confession. I am not an asexual in the pure sense of the word. I have sexual/erotic feelings and desires. Asexuals Rule!"

I'M ON THE SAME LEVEL I THINK WITH YOU. I'M 47 (NEXT WEEK) AND I WAS MARRIED FOR 23 YEARS. I TOO HAVE SEXUAL/EROTIC FEELINGS. I ENJOY THE FEELINGS I GET, BUT I DON'T FEEL THE NEED TO ACT ON THEM.

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FelineFanatic
JAY WILLIAMS SAID " I am about to make a confession. I am not an asexual in the pure sense of the word. I have sexual/erotic feelings and desires. Asexuals Rule!"

I'M ON THE SAME LEVEL I THINK WITH YOU. I'M 47 (NEXT WEEK) AND I WAS MARRIED FOR 23 YEARS. I TOO HAVE SEXUAL/EROTIC FEELINGS. I ENJOY THE FEELINGS I GET, BUT I DON'T FEEL THE NEED TO ACT ON THEM.

This is a place for not only asexuals, but those like you who are questioning as well as a place friends and family of asexuals can come to obtain more information on asexuality. Your views are just as important here. :wink::cake::cake::cake:

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Also I notice this is a place for people to show cute pictures of their kitties.

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Also I notice this is a place for people to show cute pictures of their kitties.

Yeah, but we don't want to have sex with them either. :lol: :lol: :lol:

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FelineFanatic
Also I notice this is a place for people to show cute pictures of their kitties.

:wink: I have been noticing more and more cat avitars here at AVEN, espicially on Older Asexuals. I have been admiring your avatar. What kind of cat is that? It reminds me of one of the first cats originating from Egypt.

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Also I notice this is a place for people to show cute pictures of their kitties.

:wink: I have been noticing more and more cat avitars here at AVEN, espicially on Older Asexuals. I have been admiring your avatar. What kind of cat is that? It reminds me of one of the first cats originating from Egypt.

Isn't that an extinct animal from Australia? I think it's more related to canines isn't it?

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beakerFirl

First I'd like to apologise if this got posted incorrectly. New to this posting thing. I'm more of a lurker. As well this is probably more of a stream of consciousness statement and is filled with grammtical and spelling errors.

Please be patient, thanks...

To begin, I hate that term - virgin.

I am "older" don't like that term either; however, I realise that I am and the experiences I have differenciate me from the 20 somethings.

Being a virgin is not a badge of honour. It is not like I really consciously kept myself for Mr. Right. I just never wanted to have sex.

In my youth, I never went into that "guy" thing as all of my classmates had. Never even really dated to be honest. Had only one boyfriend.

My whole family has a low libido, and being the youngest I guess the gas ran dry. Tried the "self pleasure" thing, got bored real fast. It's odd that people are so absolutely fascinated and addicted to sex; I guess it's kind of like chocolate (don't even get a buzz from that).

The worst thing about being old and a virgin, other then what seems to be a strange attraction to cats :wink:, is that I find myself limited when it comes to relationships.

There is an embarrassment issue, as most men I have met can't handle it. To be honest and fair, I guess when men find me sexually appealing, I too am a bit wigged out. I will admit that there may be underlying issues, however I am attempting to come to terms with those.

With many of the men I have met, who are over the age of 30, they turn the act of copulation into an "art". The pressure for them to "perform" on the unwashed (older virgin, such as myself) is just too much. (Like I'd really know if it was good or not.) So relationships oten die because I am unable to admit to the fact that I have never had sex or I have told them. Telling them often has a similar result, however the reaction is maybe quicker.(you can see the dust as they run off). So, informing them that this really came out of a lack of interest copulating, or oral stimulation is very difficult. The humourus thing is that people can handle my sexual status if I include the excuse of some historical sexual abuse. It seems that it is easier for them to accept. Ahh, what can you do.

I still am suffering the sting of a loss - I normally have male buddies, but one relationship developed into a very close one. I loved the physical contact, just being close - no sex, no kissing (on the lips that is). I knew he wanted more, but the old bugga boo of Virginitis reared its ugly head. Needless to say, he has moved on to more fertile pastures..

Another aspect of telling people that I am a virgin, is the I am treated as less; I am not a complete woman or a fully developed human, don't you know. It's as though I become the younger infantile sister, regardless of the age of the person! Needless to say, very few people know or even would guess I have never had sex.

Good ol' Desmond Morris taught me lots!! As well as the in sundry porno magazines, and conversations and the like...

The reason I guess I decided to write is just to test the waters. Not certain if this format will be of any value, but you never know.

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