Do you want to have children?

[Member7783]

Nope.  Don't want kids.

 

It's fortunate that I don't want them.  I'd be a terrible parent.

[Lirpaderp]

When I was really young I was playing with my dolls and my grandpa asked me what I want to do when I grow up. I said I wanted a kid. He said I needed a husband first and I got upset. I don't want them now. That'll probably change when I'm older. Either way, no husband will be involved and if I had a kid I'd adopt. The thought of my with a husband makes my stomach turn. If I had a best friend who was in a similar situation I feel like I'd happily raise a kid with them, but adoption would be the only option for me.

[Lifesaver]

I love my nephews, but living with them has shown me I don't have the mental capacity to deal with my own.

 

Babysit the 6 year old and toddler for 4 hours? Great, now I am done for the day.

 

I have nothing but respect for parents (single or otherwise) who somehow manage to raise little humans.

 

I have seen the struggle of a single parent. You do seem to have more resources than she had at the time but please make sure you have support people. Friends,family,neighbours,partner... anyone to give you the mental breaks you will need.

 

[erf]

I've said this before and I'll say it again, if I ever have kids then shoot me.

[banoffeepie]

So many kids are born without being wanted and without the resources to give them a decent upbringing.

 

You'll be a great parent, caring and resourceful I'm sure. Don't wait for someone to join you. Great if they do.

 

You'll just have to be prepared to feel very empty one day when the child flies the nest and you don't have a partner.

[Space-Ace-Android]

I would want to raise a child, but not to conceive one. The reason for this is because I do not want a new life to come into this world when the next generation is going to have to deal with severe things (Eg, climate change-Hurricanes-running out of oil, extortionate house prices...)

 

Also, being pregnant is most definitely an experience I would not want to have. It seems really uncomfy too! Especially with morning sickness and the back pain associated with it. I could get around the 'contraception bit' by being on the receiving end of a sperm doner, so no problem there.

 

So... Nope! I do not want a growing life form inside of my belly/uterus/Borg maturation chamber/whatever

 

I would most definitely adopt someone of any age when I am older, this way I could share experiences and save them from the orphanage (although most orphanages take good care of those inside.) If I do adopt, I hope I'll be a good parent!

 

(I would probably be waaaaaay too exited to show them Star Trek)

 

Have an ace day!

 

[sachign]

I've never wanted kids and probably never will. I don't hate them - I'm actually a children's librarian, so I do enjoy interacting with them (except when they're obviously spewing germs) - but I don't have any desire to reproduce. Even if I were to someday find myself in a relationship where children were a possibility, I'd want to adopt. I actually have to work on my reaction when people ask me if I have kids. My reflex is to say "Ew! No!"  which doesn't rank very high on the social acceptability scale. 

[knittinghistorian]

I’ve thought about adopting, once I’m financially stable enough to do it. I also plan to be the coolest aunt ever!

[Rhaenys]

 I don't want kids I mean the economy isn't great, jobs are getting hard to find, houses are in the millions here and the crime rate is kinda high where I live, I'm not bringing a kid into this world to suffer.

[R3dTr1ckz]

Personally, I would raise children ONLY to make my partner happy. I do like kids and can handle a two year old on a sugar rush no problem but as far as marrying? Eh... Still not too sure on that. I don't think a marriage with me an Aro Ace and a potential sexual partner? Yeah I don't think that'll work unless it was just a sexless marriage, but let's face it. Sexual people NEED sex to relieve sexual tensions....

 

If I can be honest, I really DGAFF on the whole romance and sexual feelings crap. If I was a platonic partner, and I had a sexual partner who wanted my kids and no one else, and telling them "No" and it breaks their heart? Yeah, I'm not a heartless bastard... I'll help them have my kids just to help them have that one wish if they were sexual and I was not.  But again, there'll have to be some BIG compromises to make me even THINK of "doing the deed"....

 

Yeah... I'm confusing you all since I'm not too sure....

 

Here, I'll rephrase it:

 

I'll cross that bridge when I'm even in a relationship. Right now? Don't sweat about it.

 

[arekathevampyre]

In addition to my previous one word answer , I realised that I will be a terrible parent for sure . 

The fact that I hate kids is already a tell tale sign . 

Okay to be honest , I wanted young siblings rather than kids . 

So weird since I always wanted to be the only child but having young siblings allow one to buy cute kids stuff and visit kids stores without getting weird looks . 

And yes . I buy kids stuff . Like keychains and stuff haha

[MyLilyCat]

I personally don't want kids. When I was younger I bought into the whole 'grow up, meet a guy, have a family' but in my twenties realised I didn't want that. But that did make me think that the only reason you want to be in a relationship is to have kids and that made me confused about the whole point of a relationship. But I have since learnt otherwise!

 

I will be the cool fun aunt for all my friends kids, although I have considered fostering, because I believe I can give a kid stability and love, even just for a short amount of time. However, I am not in the best place financially to do that.

 

If you are financially stable and think you are ready to start a family, go for it. Who cares about society anymore, we practically buck every trend just being us because we are not fooled by the sexualised advertising everywhere! I know people from single parent families who have turned out just great and I know people from 2 parent families who are just ...there no words for how these people have turned out. 

[Homer]

3 hours ago, Shadowstepper said:

I've met plenty of people that just flat out wanted to have kids, but didn't have specific reasons.

 

I think for them it is similar to me being an asexual. I can't tell you the "why" behind the way I feel, just that I feel that way. I don't know why I don't find people sexually attractive, I just don't. They can't tell you why they have such a need for kids, they just do.

See, this is just weird to me. Raising a child will have an immense impact on your life, your surroundings and the environment and people do this because they "feel like it", with no particular reason in mind?

[Yatagarasu]

Do feline kids count?

But honestly, I dislike kids and as the others here already mentioned, there's too many people anyways and I don't feel like contributing to the overall birthrate in any way.

[Member7783]

27 minutes ago, Homer said:

See, this is just weird to me. Raising a child will have an immense impact on your life, your surroundings and the environment and people do this because they "feel like it", with no particular reason in mind?

There's probably a reason, but many people can't name it because it operates on a subconscious level.  In the developed world, we are essentially programmed from an early age to "go to college, get a job, get married, have kids".  We give little girls dolls to play with complete with miniature baby buggies to indoctrinate those little girls to be good breeding stock when they grow up.  Family pressures, peer pressures, societal pressure...and many women have some "need" to have kids even if it's not a conscious "want".

[Homer]

1 minute ago, Jonitus said:

There's probably a reason, but many people can't name it because it operates on a subconscious level.  In the developed world, we are essentially programmed from an early age to "go to college, get a job, get married, have kids".  We give little girls dolls to play with complete with miniature baby buggies to indoctrinate those little girls to be good breeding stock when they grow up.  Family pressures, peer pressures, societal pressure...and many women have some "need" to have kids even if it's not a conscious "want".

That's a weird programming you have going on there.

[Member7783]

1 minute ago, Homer said:

That's a weird programming you have going on there.

It is.  Thankfully that programming never compiled on my system.

[Ortac]

No, I don't want children of my own. I have wonderful nieces and nephews and I am very happy with that. I do loads of activities with them, play games with them and enjoy their company - all the positive things there are about having children.  But when I have had enough I can hand them back to the parents - I get all the fun stuff, and the parents get the tears and tantrums! 

 

[Shadowstepper]

1 hour ago, Homer said:

See, this is just weird to me. Raising a child will have an immense impact on your life, your surroundings and the environment and people do this because they "feel like it", with no particular reason in mind?

And yet people have been doing this literally for thousands of years. 

 

Most people don't have a specific reason. Nobody wakes up and says "I've decided to have kids because of X specific reason". 

 

It doesn't work like that

[Robin Mok]

Ten years ago I was invited to a birthday party of a 1-month-old baby, I was eating like crazy all the time and when it comes to greet the baby, I didn't even want to step close. Ultimately it's the idea of having my own offspring weirds me out. I will never accept it. 

......

[Robin Mok]

 

I am perfectly fine with others wanting to have kids. It's super responsible if that is what you want, not an idea you have to swallow.

[Ronald Race]

An interesting question.

 

I'm good at looking after other people's kids. I used to have a housemate with three kids, he had split from his ex because of his complete financial irresponsibility. For some then apparently logical reason I decided to go housemate with him after he'd been kicked out. To this day I get phone calls wanting to talk to "Uncle Ron" from the kids themselves. I seem to have the ability - the kids respect me more than their father.

 

I've always had some weird affinity. I can go out with family and friends - say, to the Ekka in Brisbane just gone. I'm standing in line waiting for something and a small boy tugs my hand "Mister, can you help me find my mum?" So I find security and get the process rolling. The kid doesn't want me to leave lol. I'm feeling awkward now - public place, me the "strange man" you know, paedos everywhere etc - and anyway the kid trusts me implicitly. So mum arrives and the kid explains it and mum is fine with it, whew!

Or, back when I attended a 12 Step meeting. I ended up being the "daycare" for the kids of the women attending. Nothing planned, it just.... coalesced that way. It is like it is some benign form of the Pied Piper of Hamelin. I actually think I might even be good at it.

[doggalogga]

I have friends in their mid 30s with no kids. They have money, time and the freedom to do whatever they want

I have friends in their mid 30s with kids. They have no money, no time, and they complain about how hard things are, despite making the decision to have kids

Right now, I have no interest in children because I come from compromised stock. My mother's family are a disgrace. Mental illness runs in that family, as does dishonesty, stupidity and ignorance.

 

We've pretty much all had depression, and passing that on doesn't seem fair. Also, my twin brother is a real piece of shit who is abusive towards his family, and I could not have a kid like that. My tolerance for arseholes is 0.

 

I also think the world is overpopulated and living conditions in Melbourne are becoming worse. Road infrastructure and public transport are both falling behind with the massive increase in population over the past 20 years, and with more people comes more consumerism and wastefulness.

 

I also think parents have lost the ability to discipline kids - as have police and teachers.

 

And finally, the challenge of taking care of myself is enough at this point in time

[doggalogga]

14 hours ago, Macadamia Nut said:

Do feline kids count?

But honestly, I dislike kids and as the others here already mentioned, there's too many people anyways and I don't feel like contributing to the overall birthrate in any way.

Feline kids absolutely do count, as do canine and all other mammals, reptilian, amphibian, avian, fish, crustacean and anything else not of species Homo sapiens.

[Warsaw]

I have always secretly wanted a single child, but circumstances have dashed that dream.  At this point I plan on sponsoring my neice with my brother's permission, but he doesn't sound enthusiastic about that.  I wanted to make her my sole heir, and to take a active role in her development and education, and help pay for her college (she has had a trust fund since she was conceived.)

[Warsaw]

I am the first born son, and feel like a bit of a failure for not having children.

[AussieIsAce]

not bio kids they will be all fucked up like me.

 

i want 5 to 9 adopted kids. i want to parent alone because my childhood was fucked cause my abusive father and dont trust someone else to help me raise my children correctly. plus i dont wanna parent with another asexual...i want my kids to have male role-models who are sexual (more average, normal, classic) not another ace cause im already ace and i want them to have someone to look up too who isnt like me but i obviously cant date someone who is sexual. additional i can make sure i never yell or hit or belt my children like my father did but i cant control the other parent, they could become abusive and if i have to leave my partner i dont my children to go through that trauma. they wont face any form or abuse from me and thats a promise. i love kids and once im rich enough im gonna start adopting. 

[arekathevampyre]

1 hour ago, Warsaw said:

she has had a trust fund since she was conceived.

this is rare nowadays !! So lucky !

[Warsaw]

39 minutes ago, arekathevampyre said:

this is rare nowadays !! So lucky !

Basically my parents have each agreed to contribute $2 for every $1 that I put in the trust fund to be awarded starting on her 18th birthday, up until she is 22 for education with me as the executor of the trust fund.  My parents are upper middle class, and she is more or less the chosen one.

[arekathevampyre]

6 minutes ago, Warsaw said:

Basically my parents have each agreed to contribute $2 for every $1 that I put in the trust fund to be awarded starting on her 18th birthday, up until she is 22 for education with me as the executor of the trust fund.  My parents are upper middle class, and she is more or less the chosen one.

ooh interesting !!