Apathetic or dislike Sex but Masturbate all the time

[ryn2]

BDSM does not need to have a

sexual component or involve nudity (which doesn’t mean/imply you would like it regardless).

[will123]

On 5/27/2018 at 9:52 PM, ryn2 said:

I’m relieved to find out I am not the only person who has done something like that.

Not really sure what else to say, but if your reaction afterwards was like mine, it was disheartening to say the least.

 

In my case, 'the big head running the little head'? I mean my brain enjoyed the euphoria of orgasm so much it didn't care where I did it. At least I didn't begin to masturbate in public.

[ryn2]

19 minutes ago, will123 said:

Not really sure what else to say, but if your reaction afterwards was like mine, it was disheartening to say the least.

 

In my case, 'the big head running the little head'? I mean my brain enjoyed the euphoria of orgasm so much it didn't care where I did it. At least I didn't begin to masturbate in public.

Yeah, can’t say I was thrilled with myself about it.

[jay williams]

On ‎5‎/‎27‎/‎2018 at 12:32 PM, Nowhere Girl said:

I don't question it, but what I primarily meant is that for some people trying BDSM is no solution at all. Some people just don't want to participate in any form of partnered sexual activity, whether "vanilla" or "kinky". As I said - I for example don't want to participate in anything which would include being naked and not alone (actually, in fact I only feel fully comfortable in clothes... but of course I undress to take a shower, for example - I just couldn't stand being naked in someone else's presence) or having someone do something to my body. I don't want to do stuff to someone else's body either, I just don't want any form of sexual interaction.

See, in a general forum on sexuality suggesting "Maybe you should try BDSM?" or "Have you ever had same-sex fantasies? Perhaps you aren't straight" could be appropriate. But if someone feels an active sex aversion, it's very likely (though with some exceptions, such as in @CBC's case, I can recall) that trying with a different gender, or trying another form of sexual activity will not do anything about it. I'm certainly not even going to try - it would be too traumatic for me, and anyway, to look at the issue in a very sober way - if I find the very idea of being naked or semi-naked in another person's presence or "having someone do something to my body" frightening and intensely uncomfortable, how likely is it that there could be some kind of partnered sexual activity which I could enjoy? Very unlikely, I would say, and I'm certainly not going to risk all the trauma, discomfort and self-violence which would inevitably be involved in testing it.

I see your point Nowhere Girl. Masturbation is normally a solo affair, and there may be no way to have "partnered" involvement.

The essence of what I wanted to point out was that there are a large number of men and women who are not sexuals, according to the "norm." In fact, the variations of the sexual nature of people seem almost endless. There are even a significant number of women who are into CFNM, which stands for clothed female, naked male scenarios...or women who like to pair up with gay men.

I do appreciate the fact that people here are openly talking about masturbation. Somebody once remarked that masturbation is not unlike picking noses: something that about everybody does, but nobody talks about it or admits to doing.  

[pma01]

I have had partnered sex before, however masturbation just seems to work for me, better than what partnered sex ever did, Iam not repulsed by sex. I do fastasize about certain sex acts, however I never fantasize about myself doing them, I find women attractive but no desire to have sex. But the times I have, sex just never worked for me, I just get way more pleasure with myself

[jay williams]

This is an interesting discussion, because I have similar notions and experiences.

I never fantasize about the sex act. Never. I never saw any reason for it. Desire for it is none. In fact the idea is rather negative. When masturbating, I have fantasies of about anything but the sex act. I find woman attractive, including the naked body. I think that the male package is attractive too. I guess that makes me bisexual. My fantasies involve touching, and orally pleasing others, but never what a normal male is supposed to yearn to do.

 

[will123]

1 hour ago, jay williams said:

This is an interesting discussion, because I have similar notions and experiences.

I never fantasize about the sex act. Never. I never saw any reason for it. Desire for it is none. In fact the idea is rather negative. When masturbating, I have fantasies of about anything but the sex act. I find woman attractive, including the naked body. I think that the male package is attractive too. I guess that makes me bisexual. My fantasies involve touching, and orally pleasing others, but never what a normal male is supposed to yearn to do.

 

X2 on the bold

 

Up to a couple of years ago I masturbated thinking of females. Mostly it was me giving or receiving oral sex with them, PIV wasn't really a concern. Then I took a left turn. In real life I'm repulsed by the idea of gay sex, but suddenly all I could think of during my masturbation activity, was sex with another male. Occasionally I will fantasize about a girl, but the next time go back to a male partner.

 

In exchanging messages with a female AVENite, she posited that possibly I was bi- or homo-aroused. Has anyone felt the same way? 

[jay williams]

1 hour ago, will123 said:

In real life I'm repulsed by the idea of gay sex, but... 

***

In exchanging messages with a female AVENite, she posited that possibly I was bi- or homo-aroused. Has anyone felt the same way? 

I am and have always been repulsed by anal sex. Quite likely, the fact that a guy tried to rape me in the butt when I was a teenager has a substantial amount to do with it. Maybe that has a lot to do with my negativity about any penetrative sex?

 

Not sure how long I have been erotically and aesthetically stimulated by the male package, but I am, and it does no good to deny it. Will, there are lots and lots of people who are in the same boat as you are: what might be called bi-curious. I called myself that once upon a time. But, as I have said, it is not productive to deny my feelings. I am not gay, since I am attracted to women. I am bisexual since I also find the male genitalia very attractive and stimulating as well.

 

[pma01]

Iam the same exact way. I love the naked body, I love the female body, but I also love the naked male body, I don’t deny it, I have experimented with some oral sex on a man, I to suppose that would make me bisexual, I would never go past oral. I as well have always been attracted to women, I love women the female body is so beautiful, but I also like an erect penis, I had an experience almost 10 years ago. I was married at the time, my wife was in the women’s lockerroom and I was in the men’s i was showering, I glanced over saw a man erect and masturbating across from me, I instantly became erect and started masturbating. For a few minutes it was just him and I in the showers, we never spoke and only touched ourselves. I was so incredibly turned on by that brief experience, i never told my wife, I did and still do masturbate to those thoughts.

[jay williams]

@pma01,

 

I do not think we are unusual. I hazard to say that most men are attracted to the male sex parts. Most either won't or can't admit it, though that is slowly changing. It should never be anything to be ashamed of.

[pma01]

@jay. I agree with you no reason to be ashamed of it, I admit to liking to look at other naked men. I sometimes go to a gay bathouse near me. I don’t get into sex, I like going there to be naked, I do masturbate there and look at naked men

[jay williams]

18 hours ago, pma01 said:

@jay. I agree with you no reason to be ashamed of it, I admit to liking to look at other naked men. I sometimes go to a gay bathouse near me. I don’t get into sex, I like going there to be naked, I do masturbate there and look at naked men

How interesting. Do you masturbate openly, such that other men can see you doing it? Does this tempt other guys to help you get off...and last but not least: are you tempted to lick other guys? 

[will123]

On 6/8/2018 at 8:24 PM, pma01 said:

Iam the same exact way. I love the naked body, I love the female body, but I also love the naked male body, I don’t deny it, I have experimented with some oral sex on a man, I to suppose that would make me bisexual, I would never go past oral. I as well have always been attracted to women, I love women the female body is so beautiful, but I also like an erect penis, I had an experience almost 10 years ago. I was married at the time, my wife was in the women’s lockerroom and I was in the men’s i was showering, I glanced over saw a man erect and masturbating across from me, I instantly became erect and started masturbating. For a few minutes it was just him and I in the showers, we never spoke and only touched ourselves. I was so incredibly turned on by that brief experience, i never told my wife, I did and still do masturbate to those thoughts.

It has been suggested I'm bi or more likely homo-aroused. Looking at porn I'm interested in females, but my fantasies are predominately of gay sex (the act not my 'partner'. I don't really find any attraction to male genitals. Flaccid penises at a nude beach are pretty much a turn off in my eyes.

 

Considering how long I've masturbated and how much I enjoy it, I've never felt the need or desire to pleasure myself in the presence of someone else. I've only caught someone once masturbating in public (at the fringes of the clothing optional beach that I visit).

 

One would assume the other male didn't mind you catching him masturbating, otherwise he wouldn't have been doing so in a 'public' place.

 

A couple of questions if you don't mind, do you recall if he had any reaction when you walked into the showers and/or when you yourself started to masturbate? How close were the two of you when you were 'touching' yourselves? Did anyone walk in while the two of you were 'busy'?

 

I'm not sure how I would react if I happened across the same thing, not that I can that happening. I very seldom have any need to use communal showers. Honestly, I'd probably do the same thing as you...

[pma01]

@jay. Yes I do openly masturbate there. I have masturbated with other guys. I have touched as well as I have been touched, and gave and received oral. tbh I do enjoy it sometimes.

[pma01]

@ will123, so I was in the shower at the time I was alone. I turned around and there was this tall man across from me. He was already hard, tbh seeing this made me instantly hard and we stood there and watched each other masturbate, we never spoke or touched each other, the whole thing lasted maybe 10 min at the most.we were about a foot across from each other, we stopped when someone come in, I don’t know if the person that walked in saw anything or not. Given the chance I would do it again.

[will123]

1 hour ago, pma01 said:

@ will123, so I was in the shower at the time I was alone. I turned around and there was this tall man across from me. He was already hard, tbh seeing this made me instantly hard and we stood there and watched each other masturbate, we never spoke or touched each other, the whole thing lasted maybe 10 min at the most.we were about a foot across from each other, we stopped when someone come in, I don’t know if the person that walked in saw anything or not. Given the chance I would do it again.

Thank you for replying.

[will123]

5 hours ago, pma01 said:

@jay. Yes I do openly masturbate there. I have masturbated with other guys. I have touched as well as I have been touched, and gave and received oral. tbh I do enjoy it sometimes.

I hope you aren't bothered by this but seeing what you 'prefer' would you consider yourself grey leaning towards homosexual or just https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_who_have_sex_with_men ?

 

Or do you feel than since you don't have penetrative sex, the 'label' doesn't apply to you. 

 

Just fascinated about your comments with other males.

[pma01]

No Iam not bothered at all. I don’t consider my self grey leaning toward homosexual. Because Iam not sexually attracted to men, Iam attracted to women, maybe you might consider me bisexual or bi curious, yes I have engaged in oral a couple times and mutual masturbation, although I didn’t mind it this is not something i engage in on a regular basis. Feel free to message me anytime

[will123]

6 hours ago, pma01 said:

No Iam not bothered at all. I don’t consider my self grey leaning toward homosexual. Because Iam not sexually attracted to men, Iam attracted to women, maybe you might consider me bisexual or bi curious, yes I have engaged in oral a couple times and mutual masturbation, although I didn’t mind it this is not something i engage in on a regular basis.

OK, that clears things up. I was trying to reconcile you being asexual but being sexually active with other males. As much as I enjoy malexmale pairings in my fantasies and have seein other males performing oral and another male masturbating, I felt no need to join them in their 'activities'.

[pma01]

Ok I get what your saying. So, when I go there, yes I go there to relax and I do masturbate there, those times with the oral sex was quite awhile ago, it was just after my divorce , and I was experimenting and yes I did enjoy it, it didn’t seem wrong to me, to me but ultimately I get way more pleasure, and I prefer taking care of my self, intercourse is not for me I got no pleasure piv intercourse when I was married, and oral sex left me feeling empty. Iam not sex repulsed , only by intercourse Iam.i would like a relationship with a woman again someday, but I would prefer it to be sexless. The naked body of a female young or older is beautiful, and I like the naked male body as well,and I do enjoy seeing an erect penis, but mostly for viewing purposes only. I would like to hear some of your sexual fantasies thT you have if you wouldn’t mind

[jay williams]

6 hours ago, pma01 said:

Ok I get what your saying. So, when I go there, yes I go there to relax and I do masturbate there, those times with the oral sex was quite awhile ago, it was just after my divorce , and I was experimenting and yes I did enjoy it, it didn’t seem wrong to me, to me but ultimately I get way more pleasure, and I prefer taking care of my self, intercourse is not for me I got no pleasure piv intercourse when I was married, and oral sex left me feeling empty. Iam not sex repulsed , only by intercourse Iam.i would like a relationship with a woman again someday, but I would prefer it to be sexless. The naked body of a female young or older is beautiful, and I like the naked male body as well,and I do enjoy seeing an erect penis, but mostly for viewing purposes only. I would like to hear some of your sexual fantasies thT you have if you wouldn’t mind

Much of what you say are my sentiments. I am somewhat repulsed by piv sex...as well as any anal sex. I have never enjoyed piv sex, and I never think nor fantasize about it. I do notice females and their bodies. Unlike you, I don't have any appreciation for the male body, naked or otherwise...except I really appreciate seeing a penis, soft as well as erect. I have never sucked a penis, and that is definitely on my bucket list. I can get erotically aroused by the sight of a penis, and it can also make me salivate!

It is great that we are having this discussion. Sexual activity between men is such a taboo. Men, who are not out of the closet gay, don't talk about erotic feelings for male bodies or body parts. Moreover, many women are repulsed by the idea of men interested in another man's penis.

[will123]

11 hours ago, pma01 said:

Ok I get what your saying. So, when I go there, yes I go there to relax and I do masturbate there, those times with the oral sex was quite awhile ago, it was just after my divorce , and I was experimenting and yes I did enjoy it, it didn’t seem wrong to me, to me but ultimately I get way more pleasure, and I prefer taking care of my self, intercourse is not for me I got no pleasure piv intercourse when I was married, and oral sex left me feeling empty. Iam not sex repulsed , only by intercourse Iam.i would like a relationship with a woman again someday, but I would prefer it to be sexless. The naked body of a female young or older is beautiful, and I like the naked male body as well,and I do enjoy seeing an erect penis, but mostly for viewing purposes only. I would like to hear some of your sexual fantasies thT you have if you wouldn’t mind

As much as I enjoy masturbating and 'outdoor/public' nudity (and have occasionally combined the two) I have no desire to do so in a location where someone could catch me doing it. I masturbate for my pleasure, not someone elses' or the thrill of possibly being causght.

4 hours ago, jay williams said:

Much of what you say are my sentiments. I am somewhat repulsed by piv sex...as well as any anal sex. I have never enjoyed piv sex, and I never think nor fantasize about it. I do notice females and their bodies. Unlike you, I don't have any appreciation for the male body, naked or otherwise...except I really appreciate seeing a penis, soft as well as erect. I have never sucked a penis, and that is definitely on my bucket list. I can get erotically aroused by the sight of a penis, and it can also make me salivate!

It is great that we are having this discussion. Sexual activity between men is such a taboo. Men, who are not out of the closet gay, don't talk about erotic feelings for male bodies or body parts. Moreover, many women are repulsed by the idea of men interested in another man's penis.

I have no idea if my lack of interest in PIV and  any sexual contact in real life is because of asexuality or some kind of revulsion. I'm really not interested in seeing PIV portrayed in still images or video.

 

@jay williams I'm going to quote this elsewhere because it touches on something I've wondered about for a long time.

[will123]

14 hours ago, pma01 said:

Ok I get what your saying. So, when I go there, yes I go there to relax and I do masturbate there, those times with the oral sex was quite awhile ago, it was just after my divorce , and I was experimenting and yes I did enjoy it, it didn’t seem wrong to me, to me but ultimately I get way more pleasure, and I prefer taking care of my self, intercourse is not for me I got no pleasure piv intercourse when I was married, and oral sex left me feeling empty. Iam not sex repulsed , only by intercourse Iam.i would like a relationship with a woman again someday, but I would prefer it to be sexless. The naked body of a female young or older is beautiful, and I like the naked male body as well,and I do enjoy seeing an erect penis, but mostly for viewing purposes only. I would like to hear some of your sexual fantasies thT you have if you wouldn’t mind

 

A couple of links which should enlighten you on my masturbation habits and fantasies. Feel free to post any comments here or you can message me.

 

 

 

 

[will123]

On 7/18/2018 at 1:26 AM, pma01 said:

those times with the oral sex was quite awhile ago, it was just after my divorce , and I was experimenting and yes I did enjoy it, it didn’t seem wrong to me, to me but ultimately I get way more pleasure, and I prefer taking care of my self, intercourse is not for me I got no pleasure piv intercourse when I was married, and oral sex left me feeling empty. Iam not sex repulsed , only by intercourse Iam.i would like a relationship with a woman again someday, but I would prefer it to be sexless. The naked body of a female young or older is beautiful, and I like the naked male body as well,and I do enjoy seeing an erect penis, but mostly for viewing purposes only. I would like to hear some of your sexual fantasies thT you have if you wouldn’t mind

Would it be safe to say thay you were questioning your sexual persuasion after your divorce? (seeing as your didn't get pleasure from PIV guring your marriage).

 

I know after I refused sex with a female friend I was puzzled as to what I wanted because I had no interest in sex with a male. I never 'experimented' to see if I would feel differently about gay sex after trying it.

[pma01]

You know , to be quite honest I don’t really know, I think it was more out of curiosity than questioning my sexuality. Iam very comfortable with my sexuality and with my body, I do consider my self to be a sexual person. At the time when I did that I didn’t know of asexuality,, after learning of asexuality and doing some research I did realize that it explained a lot and I found I could relate to most of of the other people’s experiences.
I was unable to see any of those links, I would be very curios to hear about some of your masturbation practices and your sexual fantasies. Pm me I would be happy to tell you mine as well

[will123]

37 minutes ago, pma01 said:

You know , to be quite honest I don’t really know, I think it was more out of curiosity than questioning my sexuality. Iam very comfortable with my sexuality and with my body, I do consider my self to be a sexual person. At the time when I did that I didn’t know of asexuality,, after learning of asexuality and doing some research I did realize that it explained a lot and I found I could relate to most of of the other people’s experiences.
I was unable to see any of those links, I would be very curios to hear about some of your masturbation practices and your sexual fantasies. Pm me I would be happy to tell you mine as well

Hey no problem just throwing it out there. My AVEN pen pal have discussed a lot of things that neither of us understand about ourselves.

 

About the links, that is strange. Go to my profile and check my activity. The topics should be visible that way. Let me know if that works.

[Joe Guzman]

Many have said it already, but I'll add my two-cents' worth: there's nothing wrong or weird about masturbating but not enjoying sex. I don't take matters into my own hands as much as I used to, but rarely does a week go by without some stimulation. And I've never enjoyed intercourse. I haven't had any form of partnered sex for 12 years and I can't say I miss it at all.

 

I'll also add that once upon a time I was really into BDSM and while my ace identity didn't always thrill my partners, they accepted it. That scene isn't first and foremost about sex anyway--it's about trust. And that can provide a deeper connection between people more than any mere physical contact. 

[jay williams]

On ‎8‎/‎3‎/‎2018 at 8:08 AM, Joe Guzman said:

Many have said it already, but I'll add my two-cents' worth: there's nothing wrong or weird about masturbating but not enjoying sex. I don't take matters into my own hands as much as I used to, but rarely does a week go by without some stimulation. And I've never enjoyed intercourse. I haven't had any form of partnered sex for 12 years and I can't say I miss it at all.

 

I'll also add that once upon a time I was really into BDSM and while my ace identity didn't always thrill my partners, they accepted it. That scene isn't first and foremost about sex anyway--it's about trust. And that can provide a deeper connection between people more than any mere physical contact. 

Thanks for your "two cents." It is always nice to know that I am not the only male that never enjoyed intercourse.

Methinks you make a great point about the importance of trust in BDSM. May I ask why you are apparently no longer "really into" BDSM?

[Joe Guzman]

Lack of opportunity, for the most part. I used to live in Tokyo and there was almost always some event or another going on, but my current locale has literally nothing. Also, I admit I wasn't hard core . . . low-medium at most. I liked it now and then, but not the full-on lifestyle. I like the people in the scene more than the scene itself, if that makes sense.

[jay williams]

7 minutes ago, Joe Guzman said:

Lack of opportunity, for the most part. I used to live in Tokyo and there was almost always some event or another going on, but my current locale has literally nothing. Also, I admit I wasn't hard core . . . low-medium at most. I liked it now and then, but not the full-on lifestyle. I like the people in the scene more than the scene itself, if that makes sense.

I understand everything you say. I live in a rural area. Therefore, lack of opportunity (geography) is a huge barrier to being involved in BDSM. I know. Yes, people I have known in BDSM are some pretty interesting folk.