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A model came out as asexual


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That's really cool! The only weird thing I saw is that at the bottom there's an "online asexuality forums" link, but it links to an unrelated story on the same site. :huh: 

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Awesome!! : )) Always great to have more visibility!! I noticed that, too, AP. Maybe we should send them a message to link it properly? :/

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Awesome stuff! I think it's cool that it's a model who's publicly coming out as asexual, as it's a profession associated with sexuality and attractiveness as a commodity.

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The article was more picture than text.  Go figure.

 

The very first comment I saw pretty much summarizes what most people are going to think of this:

So then why all the "sexy" poses? Weird.

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Thanks for this!

 

To all of you people out there that be trying to make excuses for reasons why people may be asexual: this model is beautiful so you can't say they're asexual just because no one would want to date them or be with them! so HAHAHA! 

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Ahh, the comments. :rolleyes:

 

I do think it's good to give some exposure to where aesthetic and asexual can intersect.

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FerlynnGoldbeard

I'm glad we're showing the world  that sexy people can be asexy too. :wub:

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1 hour ago, Philip027 said:

The article was more picture than text.  Go figure.

 

The very first comment I saw pretty much summarizes what most people are going to think of this:

So then why all the "sexy" poses? Weird.

To those people: Because she's a model and that's part of her job?

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I finally bothered to look at the comment section.

 

This comment was helpful:

"My son is mid 20s and asexual. No interest in dating. And for those saying what's with the poses? Just because she doesn't need or want anyone in her life doesn't mean she doesn't want to feel good about herself.my son still gets up and brushes his hair and teeth and puts clean clothes. Just because you dont want a partner doesn't mean you dont want to live"

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Yay! How exciting!

 

But then I can see all the comments with the 'what's with the poses lel' Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know I had to not feel amazing about being ace so I gotta hate myself to not do what I love. Pft, social expectations are for normies. Normal is boring 

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To those people: Because she's a model and that's part of her job?

Do you really think people will buy that?

 

It probably sounds about as incredulous to them as any sort of sex-loving, sex-craving, yet asexual-claiming person does around here, at least to me.

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What they think doesn't really matter. It doesn't change the way things are.

 

I haven't noticed any of those around here apart from newbies. Maybe I'm really out of it.

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That comment section gave me hives. Ouch. Glad to see more representation, though, and from a source that inherently debunks certain stereotypes and assumptions about asexuality.

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I was extremely excited about this till I read the comments. Straight people love asexuals right? - no they really don't.

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What they think doesn't really matter. It doesn't change the way things are.

If asexuality wants to be publicly recognized and accepted (which I assume is what the intended goal here was, otherwise I'm not sure why this person would be talking about it on a public platform), the way other people feel about it kinda does matter.

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WinterWanderer

Scrolled down to the comments and was met with "We are no longer accepting comments on this article." Hmm.

 

I think it's a pretty good article. I'm sure most people who read it won't understand. But at least it's increasing visibility.

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We can't do anything about what other people think, though. They are choosing to view us in a negative light.

I wouldn't even say it's necessarily negative.  The comment I quoted was not necessarily negative.  It's acknowledging the incredulity of what is honestly an incredulous-sounding situation.  Even I find it rather incredulous.

 

The bottom line is that if you want to get people to acknowledge asexuality, using people that utilize sexual attractiveness as their primary selling point, as their job, to do it... well, it's going to run into some additional roadblocks.

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5 hours ago, Philip027 said:

The article was more picture than text.  Go figure.

It is from a particular section on the daily mail website so i would have expected that.

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The article was more picture than text.  Go figure.

 

What did you expect? It's the Daily Mail. They even need to use BOLD words in the headlines so their readers know what is IMPORTANT.

 

And still, I have to admit that the UK tabloids are currently doing a better job for asexual visibility than those media who like to think of themselves of "high quality". At least they don't get the facts wrong.

 

Maybe it's good that the link is just to one of their own articles. I heard our server had a bit of a heavy load after the BBC article came out last week. Also I find it a good idea to filter the Daily Mail readers with a simple test. If you know how to google "online asexuality forum" you may proceed. :lol:

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What did you expect? It's the Daily Mail. They even need to use BOLD words in the headlines so their readers know what is IMPORTANT.

I don't follow news, so I don't know what is reputable and what isn't.

 

The real question to me is why we're linking their stuff if they're apparently so bad.

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3 hours ago, Philip027 said:

I wouldn't even say it's necessarily negative.  The comment I quoted was not necessarily negative.  It's acknowledging the incredulity of what is honestly an incredulous-sounding situation.  Even I find it rather incredulous.

 

The bottom line is that if you want to get people to acknowledge asexuality, using people that utilize sexual attractiveness as their primary selling point, as their job, to do it... well, it's going to run into some additional roadblocks.

*sigh* Wrong.

 

It's great that the media can prove you don't have to be butt ugly to be ace, you can even be so attractive that you get paid to Iook good. If she was fat, sweaty, and disgusting, everyone in the comments would make the most common argument used to discredit asexuality - asexuals are people who are so ugly thy can't get sex so they say they're asexual to try to make it Iook Iike they chose not to have sex. Showing someone who could get sex from anyone and who understands how to work sex appeal but stiII CHOOSES not to have sex (because she just doesn't want it) does more to prove asexuality is an actual thing than anything else could. Ugly people IDing as asexual because they can't get sex is what almost everyone jokes about as soon as they here the term 'asexual'. At Ieast she proves that even people who could screw anyone they want can stiII be asexual - which is a massive step forward when it comes to having the general public acknowledge asexuality as an actual thing.

 

That article would have a Iot more negative backlash against asexuality itself if she Iooked Iike an ugly cIueIess virgin wearing her grandma's clothes whose never been on a date and whispers ''S-E-X'' when it comes to taIking about 'naughty' things with her friends - oh wait, she doesn't have any Y_Y That's the false view that the majority of the population hoIds about asexuality so it's great that attractive people are coming forward and shattering that ridiculous stereotype. 

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Honestly, most of the comments seem to be claiming that she's "ugly" anyway.

 

I'm not really commenting on how she looks at all (as with everyone I don't know, I have no opinion) so I'm not sure why you're harping on that point.  I'm commenting on what she does not being in line with what people will think when they think asexuality.  If you don't believe me, all you have to do is look at the comments.

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J. van Deijck

the comment section is 'the best', though.

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Yeah, internet comment sections are usually full of idiots, but I'm just saying, this is representative of what the general populace is going to be like when they are faced with someone whose job it is to pretty much sell their sexual appeal yet is claiming to be asexual.  There's going to be skepticism and I don't feel like just being all like "ooh, this is great!  visibility is great!" and turning a blind eye to it is going to be doing any of us any favors.

 

Like I pointed out above, even the article itself seems to point more toward her modeling career than what's supposed to be the actual focal point.

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12 hours ago, Philip027 said:

Honestly, most of the comments seem to be claiming that she's "ugly" anyway.

 

I'm not really commenting on how she looks at all (as with everyone I don't know, I have no opinion) so I'm not sure why you're harping on that point.  I'm commenting on what she does not being in line with what people will think when they think asexuality.  If you don't believe me, all you have to do is look at the comments.

If you read the comment section on most asexuality articles, you get nothing but disbelief. "Oh, she can't be ace, she just had bad experiences" "Oh, he can't be ace, he just can't get laid" "Oh, she likes cats? LOL NO WONDER SHE CLAIMS TO NOT WANT SEX" etc, etc. 

 

Asexuals can be models, actresses, singers, photographers, writers, janitors, or waitresses. Wanting your job to be modeling doesn't make you a sexual person. And if asexuality is ever going to be accepted as an orientation, it has to be seen as something anyone can be, no matter their career or family background, introvert or extrovert. 

 

And honestly, most the pics in that article aren't very  "sexy". They're just her in makeup and normal clothes, making a modeling face. She's not modeling topless, straddling some guy in a perfume ad. 

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12 hours ago, Philip027 said:

Honestly, most of the comments seem to be claiming that she's "ugly" anyway.

 

I'm not really commenting on how she looks at all (as with everyone I don't know, I have no opinion) so I'm not sure why you're harping on that point.  I'm commenting on what she does not being in line with what people will think when they think asexuality.  If you don't believe me, all you have to do is look at the comments.

I wasn't talking about how YOU think she looks, just pointing out that your assertation that the fact that she's a model makes asexuality less likely to be taken seriously is completely incorrect. 

 

Regarding the comments, almost anyone saying she's ugly are 1) jealous women and 2) men who are offended by the idea that she wouldn't screw so are lashing out saying she's ugly - I've seen that so many times in my life it's literally cringe-worthy. 

 

Asexuality would be far less likely to be accepted in the long run if the world was only ever shown asexuals as unnatractive people who look like they could never get sex. At least this way people know that yes, people who could easily get sex can still be asexual. My comment was nothing to do with how you personally view her looks though.

 

Edit: please note, I'm not trying to diss asexuals that don't look like models (let's face it, very few people look like models whether they're sexual or asexual, haha). I'm just trying to point out the flawed thinking that's out there ABOUT asexuals, so hopefully no one is offended by my comments! :cake:

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