Icarus Posted October 27, 2003 Share Posted October 27, 2003 If you don't have the desire for sexual relations then you could call yourself asexual, simple as that. It doesn't make any difference if you end up with desires 30 years for now, what matters is the here and now. And I don't think age matters at all. By way of example a 4-year-old (hopefully) has no interest in or for that matter any concept of sexual relations and consequently is (suprise) asexual. Granted, they're not "developed" enough (as far as I know) but it doesn't change the fact. IMO, if somebody (your brother in this case) heckles you about it, it's pointless to even bring it up with them anymore. They'll probably get the point eventually through the Powers of Observation. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Zorui Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 Kill your brother. Please. Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 Then be asexual without him knowing. Shit, we always took a cookie before supper without mom knowing, didn't we? :mrgreen: Link to post Share on other sites
aury Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 fuck that. i always ended up taking more than 10 & my mother never gave a crap. & i'll be damned if she makes an attempt to. :x the bitch. anyway, i've faced that dilemma before. fuck, i'm 22, & family members tell me that i'm too young to know what the fuck i'm talking about. that's sort of why i keep my mouth shut & leave the room whenever the subject of marriage & children come up. it's not a bad idea for you to do the same. just a suggestion. especially since your orientation is no one's fucking business anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Suffocateme23 Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 As others have said, you are who you are right now. If you feel asexual at 15 and end up asexual years from now that's fine. If you end up sexual (for lack of a better term) that's ok too. I do feel your frustration though about automatically chalking up anything like this as "just being too young to make a real decision". I suppose a 15 year old might be more likely to change her (or his) mind down the road than someone older, but some asexuals did feel this way since when they were 15 (I did, and I'm 23 now). BTW, get used to the "you're too young" thing - you've got quite a bit of it left. As I said I'm 23. I still get it. I still get called "kid" too. I wonder when it will stop... 25-26 maybe? 30? Hehe. Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Eh...I think people think of not having sex as being immature so in their eyes you'll always be immature. Cate Link to post Share on other sites
Jayann Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 I'm rather resigned to the fact that I always will be immature. Or at least perceived that way. *shrug* It's funner than being mature anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
JKReagan99 Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Eh...I think people think of not having sex as being immature so in their eyes you'll always be immature. And yet we aren't about to catch STIs? and we actually care about who a person is, rather than caring about sex? While being young at heart is good :) , I don't think we're the immature ones..... Link to post Share on other sites
Suffocateme23 Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Interesting, actually I hadn't thought about how sexual people probably consider us immature. To me it seems the other way around (with the closed minded ones anyways). Oh yeah, and I actually like being (and being thought of as) young. Was just pointing out something stupid, sorry :P Link to post Share on other sites
aury Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Eh...I think people think of not having sex as being immature so in their eyes you'll always be immature. BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!! have you SEEN the shit that sexuals do in order to get laid?! & they have the balls to think of us as immature. :x Link to post Share on other sites
JKReagan99 Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 have you SEEN the shit that sexuals do in order to get laid?! & they have the balls to think of us as immature. :x They're just not thinking (I'm not sure many of them think much at all...), and don't realize that there is much more to life than sex :P Link to post Share on other sites
Neko Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 I hear ya. You'd think sex was the center of their universe or something. I once got an IM from a guy who said, "If you don't have sex, your life must be pretty sad." Ugh, people like that just burn me up. :x Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 What I mean is, sexuals tend to think that having sex is a 'natural and healthy part of life' and you aren't fully grown until it's a part of your life. They don't see it as something that wrecks their lives (not usually anyway) so our not having/desiring it is as if we're missing some vital bit of adulthood. Cate Link to post Share on other sites
aury Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 yeah, we'll see who gets to be the fucking grownup when those dumb fucks have to deal w/ the consequences of their sexual escapades (for lack of a better term :? ). Link to post Share on other sites
MedusaDan Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 Hmm... skipping between threads, I'm beginning to wonder if some parts of this forum have sort of turned in an anti-sexual direction rather than simply asexual. Maybe I shouldn't be writing this now as I'm pissed off about other things, but keep in mind that their being sexually active, however wise or unwise you might think it, is as natural to them as your asexuality is to you. Your asexuality seems as alien to them as their sexuality does to you. I guess being stuck in the middle I have a rather strange view of it, but hey. *sigh* I'm sick of prejudice in all its forms. Link to post Share on other sites
Zorui Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 I quite certainly took cookies without asking mother as a child. Now kill him. Link to post Share on other sites
HiroProtagonist Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 Sex isn't a natural and healthy part of MY life. I used to think when I was younger that there would come a point where I would want it in my life. When I was 20 I fell in love and had sex because I thought it was the right thing to do... mistake... everyone, sexual or asexual, should do what they feel (and not what they don't) - no-one can tell you what should or shouldn't be part of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
aury Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 when they're too old to get laid IS there such a thing? :o :shock: :? Link to post Share on other sites
Zorui Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 I'm sure we all took cookies behind our parents back - I was a cookie ninja. ;) Anyway, I've gotten the "sex is a natural and healthy part of life as well," and I definitely agree with the statement that they probably think of us as immature. Hey, it doesn't matter - when they're too old to get laid, who will be happier? :P Nyeh. You think YOU'RE a cookie ninja? You should have seen me. Me: Mother, I think the chicken is burning. Mother: Really? *she goes to look at the oven* *while she does so, I stuff some cookies in my pockets and run off* Link to post Share on other sites
ApolloSeek Posted November 1, 2003 Share Posted November 1, 2003 Eh...I think people think of not having sex as being immature so in their eyes you'll always be immature.Cate That philosphy is reflected in some of Neil Diamond's music. He has a song titled Desiree with some lyrics that state . . . I became a man at the hands of a girl almost twice my age. . . I didn't like this idea even before I realized I was asexual. And I certainly don't like it now. I don't see what's so mature about surrendering to passions, exposing yourself to STD's, and risking unwanted pregnancies. Sounds really stupid to me. Link to post Share on other sites
orderinchaos Posted November 1, 2003 Share Posted November 1, 2003 I don't see what's so mature about surrendering to passions, exposing yourself to STD's, and risking unwanted pregnancies. Sounds really stupid to me. I'd take a fair bet they see it rather differently. When one is quite insecure in themselves, has a drive to do something constantly, and is surrounded by temptation to do that one thing (let's face it - if you're sexual, society is FULL of inducements to have sex, and has a culture which promotes it), and is possibly on substances such as alcohol which decrease one's judgement, the likelihood that one will do such acts skyrockets. Personally, I had sex because it seemed like the right thing to do. I enjoyed everything up until then and it made me feel a way that I'd only a couple of times felt before (and then, in a similar situation) and wanted to enjoy the other person. I didn't. My mind and emotions disconnected from the experience and I found myself enduring it. So I had this weird dichotomy where I wanted to feel that incredible closeness and intimacy again but didn't really want to have sex. Eventually, I concluded it was a problem with me because of my Christian upbringing, and figured that if I had more sex, I'd desensitise myself to this uncomfortableness/awareness and be able to enjoy it. It didn't work - it actually got worse, and ultimately led to my becoming asexual. I agree with Daniel on this one. I think it's possible for some asexuals to cross the line and be quite "immature" themselves in judging sexuals for something that comes naturally to them - I think laughing at people cos of an STD-test mixup is actually pretty wrong, it's like laughing at disfigured bomb victims - "HAHA! They lived in Palestine! How dumb!" or something like that. I recognise that isn't a majority on AVEN, but it has at times become quite a noticeable minority. Some people just need to grow up and realise there is a world much wider than themselves and their own experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
orderinchaos Posted November 1, 2003 Share Posted November 1, 2003 Sex isn't a natural and healthy part of MY life. I used to think when I was younger that there would come a point where I would want it in my life. When I was 20 I fell in love and had sex because I thought it was the right thing to do... mistake... everyone, sexual or asexual, should do what they feel (and not what they don't) - no-one can tell you what should or shouldn't be part of your life. Exactly right :) I'm with you on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Elf people Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 It is good to see that some of you are getting the you're still young thing at my age-23. I have become obsessed over the fact that I look old and am even looking for ways to remedy this situation. Can you believe I went out and bought a pack of cigarettes just to confirm that they still card me! omg, I must be obsessive compulsive but then again I have some of my friends telling me that they met the "right guy" at the age of 25 and had thought themselves if not asexual incapable of forming a relationship until then no use me telling them that the two are quite different things! anyhow all I know is that even if I had had a relationship I would probably have broken up with him just because of the divergence of his probable demands and my inability to meet them-or unwillingness. :!: I know that some other asexuals may respond in a quite different way-like I should do this thing since it seems like the right thing to do-usually before the asexual identity is developed. However in my case I sincerely believe that I was born asexual and that there is no possibility whatsoever of my engaging in the act -ever. and moreover as I like to emphasize, the relationship is bidirectional so that no one can be interested in me in a sexual or romantic way anyway so my asexuality is kind of sealed from the start. Link to post Share on other sites
Live R Perfect Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 I'm beginning to wonder if some parts of this forum have sort of turned in an anti-sexual direction rather than simply asexual....however wise or unwise you might think it, is as natural to them as your asexuality is to you. Your asexuality seems as alien to them as their sexuality does to you. Hear, hear! I totally agree with you - a proportion of the posts I have seen have been extremely ANTI-sexual. For the most part, though, the majority of people here are genuinely open-minded about all types of lifestyle (for want of a better word). Lets keep it like that, eh? Link to post Share on other sites
janedoe Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 I'm beginning to wonder if some parts of this forum have sort of turned in an anti-sexual direction rather than simply asexual....however wise or unwise you might think it, is as natural to them as your asexuality is to you. Your asexuality seems as alien to them as their sexuality does to you. Hear, hear! I totally agree with you - a proportion of the posts I have seen have been extremely ANTI-sexual. For the most part, though, the majority of people here are genuinely open-minded about all types of lifestyle (for want of a better word). Lets keep it like that, eh? I'm sorry, but after everything we have to endure living in this oversexed society, we reserve the right to be a little bitter(atleast I do). People who abstain are ridiculed all the time. And either way, I'm sure posting our mere opinions here on a web forum isn't going to hurt the sexual majority out there. Link to post Share on other sites
gambit_boi Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 last night i was walking around with some of my friends, who were, in theory, trying to find a screw buddy for this one girl who hadn't had sex in *gasp* a month. it was so ridiculous, wasting time trotting around to people's dorm rooms searching for potential canidates. i felt like i was back in high school, with all the chatter about sex, boys, and other things i wouln't know a banana from. i remember thinking "oh yeah... this is why i'm glad i'm not sexual." in response to the post, no, i don't think you're too young. i'm always amused by how many parents still gently (or firmly) challange their gay, lesbian, bisexual or queer kids to experiment, not knowing what they want yet and all. if they decide later differently, let your kid make that discovery/transition, but don't try to ease them along to make things more bearable for you. sheesh. being patronized by someone who doesn't seem to have much of a clue what they're going on about is a degrading enough experience. you know who you are and how you feel, and seeming as it's your life, that's all that should matter. Link to post Share on other sites
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