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Intro - Happy Hypersexual F with Ace BF

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TW,  abuse, domestic violence, sex




I'm a 48yo Hypersexual (when I have the chance) in a "new" relationship of 1 year with an Aromantic Ace BF I've known since we were in 3rd grade. Made out a few times, went on one disastrous date in 8th grade (not our fault) and stayed friends while we went our separate ways.


I had been molested by my step/adoptive father and raped by my uncle/God Father and wanted  to get  away, joined the Navy at 17, met another sailor in NROTC, and moved away. We were poly, I had an awesome secondary, had a son, and it was great, until  hubby's mental health deteriorated and I moved (ran away) back to home state and hubby followed a year later. When the emotional abuse turned physically threatening I divorced. We were together almost 25 years.


My next primary partner was a married poly. (My long distance partner/secondary left the relationship when he had an oops.) this new primary relationship was amazing, emotionally and sexually. I got to explore my kink side much more. Except you can cheat in poly, and turned out he was a compulsive liar and sex offender. The straw that broke the camel's back was touching my tenant (rented a room) and she didn't tell me (found out much later) and broke her lease, and then I discovered he had been filming my adult sons live-in GF who didn't tell me she found out and didn't want to press charges. For me, a man I love violating my "child" was a huge trigger of my own abuse that brought on a year of severe, debilitating PTSD. EMDR brought me out of it.


I started dating again, and purchased a house in original home town that has been in family since 1956. No dates clicked and I gave up looking. Had a housewarming bonfire, and that old buddy came by. We started chatting and hanging out more. Then he starts telling me how much he likes to give oral sex (I rolled my eyes, this was my buddy). Eventually he invited me to have a hotel hot tub night to put the world behind us for a moment.  I cuddled up next to him and was shocked when he led it to sex. Again, buddy.


Eventually we realized we were dating. He is on meds that kill the little man and has some blue pills. We've had intimate encounters 3 times. At first I REALLY missed the sex. But I have chronic pain, and the cuddles are just amazing! I still miss the sex and roaming hands, but not as much. BF is Aromantic, so when when he DOES do something like pick me wildflowers at our campsite I know how much of an effort he put into it and it means so much more.


Many of BF's issues come from a father who convinced him he was always wrong, had a long term relationship with his baby momma (2 son's) who continued the emotional abuse,  was assaulted by next GF who broke his leg and knifed him in belly twice, and next GF had to have all attention on her and didn't like doing things he liked.. they are still friends. So I really do get how he is relationship shy. He claims my construction spikes his anxiety, so he rarely steps foot in my house and I don't mind because my domestic boy (non sexual relationship) does the remodeling free when he gets to work in his undies and wears clothes and charges for the work when I have guests.


I could happily live with an Ace. I'm even eschewing (sp?) Poly and open relationship.. an old fuck buddy keeps stopping by to see if I want to rekindle and I turn him down. That was never me before when I had permission in a relationship. I don't even mind that he renewed his lease for another year when I own my home outright.


The biggest part that bugs me, is his tales of how sexual he once was, his on his knees apologies for not being that man today, and yet makes no effort to change. 

I'm learning to keep my roaming hands and unexpected touches to myself to keep from triggering him, and it's hard.


We have parallel and intertwining lives. We both do what we want to do, and more often than not we end up doing activities together without compromising on out own desires. When I miss hopping over for snuggles before he gets up for his 3rd shift job, I feel like something is missing, and he does too. Those chaste kisses before I hop on my car fill my batteries.


BF is only the second man my family has ever approved of for me.

I can see a long term partnership, and if that is not to be.. I we will still be buddies, only with the added love we have found.


I didn't mean to write a tome. 

I appreciate the space to vomit out all these thoughts that have been racing through my mind that aren't appropriate to tell my family yet.





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This sounds like an amazing and horrible adventue story with a happy ending. ❤


I hope you kicked the crap out of that wannabe porn maker before you kicked him out. 


I hope you and your new buddy continue to be happy together. 💑


Oh! And welcome. :cake: 

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