ThatHuman Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 I am Agender - and honestly its hard to argue with that... As - I'm not joking - forget I even HAVE a body... It's so confusing! I'm like: "Oh, cool, I'd love to wear this dress - ! Em... I'm not biologically male?.. Huh..." I'm not genderfuild - I don't even feel gender... But in my mind, my image is almost too fluid to be genderfluid... And looking in a mirror is like crashing from a happiness high - it's gets me depressed really... It's odd honestly - I get inspired by this gender stuff, but I never feel gender in any form - being in any gender feels claustrophobic to me... And sometimes I feel like there's no hope for me and my overly fluid way of thinking... [ MORE BRAIN VOMIT! ] Link to post Share on other sites
Was here Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 I sometimes forget that I have a female body/think of myself as a girl kind of. I still think I might be a trans guy, since I want a male body, but internally I don't really understand what my gender feels like. Being around girls feels natural to me, yet I don't want to be one anymore. Yet I sometimes like femininity and wish I liked wearing girly things.(yes I know expression and identity are different) I guess I feel more androgynous in my head since gender and masculinity/femininity just feel like a game to me. I don't feel like agender fits me though since I think of myself as some kind of gender. Sorry for that rant or whatever that probably doesn't fit here but I thought if I posted it in another thread I would be contradicting myself, heh. I'm sorry you're going through this struggle. I hope you can find some way to feel batter. Link to post Share on other sites
Prufrock, but like, worse Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 I want to burn this stupid piece of shit I have to ride around in. Link to post Share on other sites
Toothlesss Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 I wish our culture didn't dictate nonsense based off of what my physical body is.. it's soo frustrating. I'm happy I don't have to do traditionally feminine things often- basic household chores don't count. Also- I think it's crap that some people still think cooking is feminine and grilling is masculine 😒🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Link to post Share on other sites
Acing It Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 45 minutes ago, Toothlesss said: Also- I think it's crap that some people still think cooking is feminine and grilling is masculine 😒🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Yes, pathetic, isn't it? I also laugh when some men cook and they make this massive deal out of it while leaving the kitchen in a complete mess... Link to post Share on other sites
Chardog Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 It’s just a box that I’m mentally dissociated from.. Until someone else does or says something to remind me of what I am (which triggers dysphoria). Link to post Share on other sites
Calligraphette_Coe Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 I wish. It's a constant source of pain and other reminders of mortality. Plus the dysphoria, permanently unrequited. Can't live with it, can't hurt without it. But at least it doesn't explode from a lack of disappointing sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 Definitely... Link to post Share on other sites
999papercranes Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 Yeah, but that's because I suffer from a lot of depersonalization, which is how I handle my dysphoria. Not healthy, but it's also keeping me sane. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatHuman Posted October 8, 2017 Author Share Posted October 8, 2017 2 hours ago, 999papercranes said: Yeah, but that's because I suffer from a lot of depersonalization, which is how I handle my dysphoria. Not healthy, but it's also keeping me sane. Oh, damn... I want to say I understand - but everyones different - so - I'll just say I understand in my own way. It kept me sane to a point, until all hell broke lose - when I had enough of pretending to be someone else, and telling myself I'm worthless and an unneeded in the world... Ugh, that brings me back to the tough years of my life... I exploded in the flaming fire of ten fiery dragons - I don't even feel bad for it - LET THE RAGE SEEP INTO YOUR BONES!.. Don't take that advice, thats horrible advice - use your rage as an energy of good... Is that better? Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 I like to think that a person goes beyond that of the physical body and only reminded how fragile it is through pleasure and pain. Yes I'd love to wear this or that, I'm not thinking of the physical gendered self, both such gendered clothes can strike the fancy more than often, I'd easily wear very fem clothes just to try it, plus a few masc clothes but not so much, plus at times nothing at all. Such physical gender can be described similarly, replace clothes with genitals or other body features fits rather more than well. I 'may' feel some gender, something also so weak and changeable its hardly noticeable beyond a thought that its nothing longer term or strong enough to be a serious concern. It is agender, it is gender-fluidity, it is on the cusp of transgenderism, it is what it is and also it is not. Tis that of the mind, that of the body could want to present itself as much more fem than the masc body is. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatHuman Posted October 8, 2017 Author Share Posted October 8, 2017 1 hour ago, Janus DarkFox said: I like to think that a person goes beyond that of the physical body and only reminded how fragile it is through pleasure and pain. I like you - you sound like a person I wouldn't mind being friends with >_< Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
quasarshift Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 Sometimes I forget it and sometimes I wish I can forget it. Dysphoria is part of the reason, but also I feel like a mind trapped in a body. Sometimes I don't want to go out because when people see me they only see my body. I can relate to the mirror thing too. Link to post Share on other sites
kaysir Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 I don't forget that it exists, per se, but I forget what it's like/what features it has. From tattoos to moles to things associated with gender. I'm lucky it's not on my mind much. Link to post Share on other sites
Just Me! Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 I enjoy imagining I'm an invisible floating spirit, like in a video game where you can interact with your surroundings... Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 I have to pee too often for me to forget about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Silk Bones Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 Most times I do. When I snap out of it, I just think to myself and say, "Oh, I'm still a sack of meat and bones." It's all in good humor, despite when dysphoria comes along of course. Though I sometimes wish I was as free as I felt when I wasn't present with reality. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatHuman Posted October 9, 2017 Author Share Posted October 9, 2017 13 hours ago, Peinture Paix said: Though I sometimes wish I was as free as I felt when I wasn't present with reality But what is reality - ? That is the question. How do you know that my reality isn't different to your reality - ? If your sky is blue, what if my sky is your green? [Mind chaos... By that human] Link to post Share on other sites
Silk Bones Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 4 minutes ago, ThatHuman said: But what is reality - ? That is the question. How do you know that my reality isn't different to your reality - ? If your sky is blue, what if my sky is your green? [Mind chaos... By that human] "What if this is a dream? What if all of this is a dream? What if all this is a dream, and it's not even our dream, it's that dogs dream. Maybe we're just existing in his mind, and all of a sudden he'll wake up to go drink out of the toilet, and we'll be gone. What will happen to us if that dog wakes up?...." - Freaks and Geeks Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 I have an artificial body, so I don't feel it :< Link to post Share on other sites
K.I.N.G Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 well i don't forget i have a body but I do forget I have hair and breasts until i either accidentally touch them or see myself in the mirror and then similar to you my whole world of happiness come crashing down - i do also relate to not being to see yourself in your mind's eye so to say - it's just hazy and not quite there - i just personally know it defiantly does not have breast. Good Luck ThatHuman hope you either find a way around your claustrophobia or manage to overcome it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lirpaderp Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 7 minutes ago, I Am Mel said: well i don't forget i have a body but I do forget I have hair and breasts until i either accidentally touch them or see myself in the mirror and then similar to you my whole world of happiness come crashing down A few days ago my dorm was pitch black and tried to leave to shower. Usually I can avoid things, but I walked right into somebody's bed. The only thing it hit was boobs... And then I had to deal with the bathroom mirror and showering... Not a fun time Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 I do. 2-3 times a day. Most hybrids are meant to be this way. Link to post Share on other sites
6Unmentionable9 Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 oOf sometimes i forget i dont have a flat chest or thin hips, and i go to look in the mirror or change clothes and i just "whtat the fu k ,, ,, gross???" so this entire discussion is a mood[tm] Link to post Share on other sites
RiseOfCourage Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 Forgetting to feed the darn thing really blows. Almost passed out working all day on a boat after not eating again. Just get so caught up in projects or having fun... then, boom, you gotta halt everything and shove some crap down to keep this thing running or it will rebel. ...at least the existence of cake makes eating less tedious haha! Link to post Share on other sites
Sibemarie Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 I like when i don´t feel my body as female, but that only happens when i am skinnier than i am now. I mean, mostly in winter clothes and if i am fit (which hasnt been happening lately due to stress and economic issues). When i was fit, skinnier and wearing winter clothes, and hiking or doing some active stuff, i usually can kind of feel my body just as a body with muscles and bones, and i kind of forget the female parts. But when i am with more weight (due to unemployment and depression) i have food cravings so i gain more 4 or 5 kilos (which make a diference since i'm short) and even i cant consider myself fat, i feel more of the female parts of the body i hate (bum and breast) and it makes me sick, i hate it. It makes me more depressed see those 2 pointless lumps and i hate when i have to see them in shower. But i like when i lose weight and become more flat (i lose volume and my breast becomes quite small yay). I am now doing more physical activity so hopefully soon i'll get rid of these extra kilos and feel less of the female annoying details on me. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 Agender person here! *Waves* I honestly love my body to pieces and i always take good care of it because i want to live long and enjoy life. Of course there will always be things i'd like to see different (especially certain body parts) and that's okay. I do forget that i'm on a diet and need to work out if that counts Link to post Share on other sites
WoodwindWhistler Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 I see this as a positive thing- I am a soul unconstrained by society's ideas of gender, and I am more than my body. Here is my first post about it, but there have been other threads by other users since (they're starting to call it "depersonalization" which I myself don't think is a very useful term) Of course, I also accept the evidence for past life reincarnation, so I think of myself as having been several different body types, genders, whatever, over my existence. If this one doesn't seem to fit sometimes, it's because there's some residual. Like me not liking being taller than my mom, because I always liked to "look up" to her literally, perhaps psychologically because I figuratively do. There are all sorts of positive New Age beliefs about this sort of thing . . . I highly recommend re-programming and re-framing your mind with something better for your wellbeing. Link to post Share on other sites
Yatogami Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 All the time. Depersonalization is rather common for me. Sometimes I zone out, and forget I am alive, as I am lost in my head somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Leolith Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 happens as soon as I don't look at my body. Most intensely when I'm engrossed in a book. Link to post Share on other sites
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