Jump to content

I don't want boobs but I also don't think I'm trans


Recommended Posts

I hate my boobs as well but I am comfortable with my gender and wouldn't change it for the world.

Hating "feminized" body parts and having certain interests doesn't make you transgender.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 months later...

Hello so I am confused on my gender, I am a pansexual 14 year old girl but sometimes I just hate my boobs. Every time  they are brought up I get anxiety and I’ve always been very self conscious about them. I have pretty large boobs for my age I guess you could say, and they always bother me to see them. Some days I accept my boobs and I don’t care but sometimes I just would really like them to be gone for a day. 
 

Some times when I am home alone I will go in the bathroom and put on my tightest sports bras trying to make my chest as flat as possible and it’s such a good feeling to see my self with almost no boobs. But I will say I don’t wanna be a guy, I know I’m not transgender I just don’t want my boobs there all of the time. I haven’t even come out to my parents as pan yet and not knowing who I truly am is a little scary. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...
ChanGenderFluide
On 12/2/2019 at 9:09 PM, Albine said:

 

 
 
 
 




 




 
 
 
 
 
 




 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

Edited by ChanGenderFluide
Link to post
Share on other sites
ChanGenderFluide

So Hi people I hope you are well, I'm fourteen name chan yes I'm young but we don't care, so I'm genderfluid I was assigned female at birth but in 2021 I realize that I was genderFluid, I knew it but I did not want to end on this subject, it pisses me off not to understand and that every day I change, let's move on to the essential subject, so I feel insecure or anxiety all alone at home or outside I am extremely afraid anxiety that we will see the shape of my breasts and I have muslim parents, I converted myself but my parents don't know and I also have a stepbrother really strict, and my mother pays all the charges so in the end I can't buy anything even big clothes little tip take your father's clothes or ask for birthday gifts lmao I never have a gift but if you have any, buy a binder or something wide, otherwise put several layers down so that it is seen much less and if you have sports bracers its flattened not badly. My stepfather tried to touch my breasts when I was twelve shocking events I admit, but I already experience a feeling of discomfort as if it should never have existed in me, over a month I feel fifteen man days and 5 woman days and 5 days neither 5 days both so it's really complicated but I don't really want boobs. For the people who are going to say that you didn't tell your mother that your stepdad tried to touch you I already told her and she didn't believe me I cried a lot I admit but I don't will cry more for a living being who does not deserve any attention from me, my toxic mother but I am considering leaving at nineteen even if it is complicated luckily I have an older best friend, In any case my mother would have refused me because of my sex and my future piercing, surgery, kawaii style, tattoo, she would have thought that I was crazy and would have put me in a psychiatric hospital, or would have thrown me in the street it is for her and my toxic family that I keep silent and I do not reveal my gender ! So a piece of advice if you lived under the roof of someone who doesn't like other genders or who doesn't know other genders like my lmao family, wait until you leave home, it's better frankly a little advice again, ignore the comments towards your family and later you will be happy and not a lifeless puppet controlled by society or your family. and the breasts don't define the gender, remember this, also for people like me don't want boobs and you can't make the surgery now you have the binder.

 

Also me don't have money lmao  

( sorry for the my bad english I'm french that why and I never study the english so LMAO you understand for the non people talking english)

 

( To help people know if it's dysphoria, And yes if you feel anxiety all alone because of your breasts or feel that you should never have had her it is dysphoria. Afterwards for people who are anxious only outside or with someone it is a lack of self-confidence and not dysphoria so you have to work on this problem of confidence and after if you feel bad on your own because of '' a remark because you have big breasts or someone told you that you have big breasts but it was badly intentioned it is not dysphoria it is more a lack of self-confidence or outside. )

and also my stepfather tried to touch my breasts when I was twelve shocking events I admit, but I already experience a feeling of discomfort as if it should never have existed in me
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

I'm so relieved that this thread exists! So many of the experiences here are familiar.

 

I read a lot about non-binary gender identities, but instinctively didn't feel that was me. I like being a woman. I like dressing feminine. I am very tall and a ballroom dancer. In lessons I would always have to dance the males parts and this saddened me! I wanted to be allowed to be the woman and finally finding an appropriately sized partner really made me happy.

 

BUT I hate my boobs. I hate accentuating them through clothes. I resent not being able to go topless in summer. Having someone touch them makes me highly uncomfortable. I dislike how much they are a source of worry (ie am I putting them on show too much, could someone get the wrong ideas) and most of all I am repulsed by the idea of breastfeeding in the future and having them be touched and nibbled and whatnot everyday YUK!

 

Connecting this disconnect to my boobs to my asexuality seems natural. I hate how my boobs put a big sign on me that says "this person has sexual organs". It's like a big target for a type of attention I'd rather not be involved in. I am not sure how to make that go away though. My partner know not to pay attention to my boobs anymore at all at least.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 months later...
i swam in your liver

this is exactly what I’m feeling like!

im a cis female and every since puberty started i have hated my breasts and my hips, they just look so feminine and i can’t see myself in the mirror anymore. My breasts are about a A to B cup but i still hate them a lot. I have binded for a couple months and it felt really good on my upper body, except i like sports and it is pretty hard to breathe. Later on that binder broke(it was homemade i haven’t told anyone else irl about my problems) and i can’t find another one so i used two or more sports bras to bind. I haven’t had a problem with me being female, i like being female, even though i kinda of want to have my pronouns be she/he/they bit at the same time i don’t want to. If someone were to ask what gender i am i would automatically respond with female, and i have researched a lot of genders but i can’t seem to find the right one, so far non-binary women is the closest thing i have come across to (here is the website from where i found it https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Non-Binary_Woman the last bullet closest describes to what i feel) . Sorry if my grammar is bad I’m just letting everything out at once lol. I have a small feeling that this may have to be doing with my “asexuality”, but bruh don’t get me started on sexuality that’s a whole nother 500 page mystery book series. I don’t think i consider myself trans and that is the only thing i have felt “dysphoric” about. 

Edited by i swam in your liver
i forgetting to add things iv edited this a lot
Link to post
Share on other sites
Clbrown1996

With me, it is a bit complex. Ever since I started developing breasts, I have never felt comfortable with them. I'm not sure if it is because I was a dancer at the time or not. Some dancers tend to like being small so they are more flexible, etc. I just remember what it felt like to run/dance as a child and not have to worry about my boobs moving around and also getting away with not wearing a shirt and I kind of miss that. 

 

There is also the fact that I have ADHD. I had to be on a high dose of medication as a kid while seeing a therapist because I was extremely hyper and impulsive. With ADHD, you are supposed to take a break from the meds to avoid stunted growth. I didn't know this until I studied psycholgy in college and I don't think my parents knew this either. I was on my medication constantly until I told my parents I didn't want to take it anymore because it made me withdrawn from socializing. I stopped taking it around the same time as I started puberty. Within the course of just a few months, I went from looking anorexic (because ADHD meds can prevent weight gain/decrease appetite) to having curves. It was not gradual for me like most girls. Idk if that is part of why I hate my boobs and hips.

 

Part of my problem is that I am also asexual (or at least I think I am) and I am not sure if that is influencing my feelings about having breasts. I don't have much of a sexual attraction to people and don't have much interest in having sex (until recently?). I hate it when people point out my breasts. They aren't exactly huge but they are still big enough to get guys' attention. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone if all they are gonna do is stare at my breasts all day. Even my hips make me uncomfortable. I have an hour glass shape and I hate it. I prefer having a more androgynous body. These two things are not the only things that make me uncomfortable though.

 

When I first started menstruating, I cried an hid in my parents closet. The whole idea of having a sexual reproductive system and the possibility of ever becoming pregnant makes me feel uncomfortable. It kind of makes me wish I was one of those people born with an XO chromosome. I've had so many people (especially women) tell me that I will change my mind and want kids one day and it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I would rather honestly adopt a child. 

 

On top of that, I also have a history of cysts on my overies that cause severe cramping and heavy menstrual flow. I had been on birth control for 9 years since practically the start of menstruation. I am not sure if that has influenced how I feel about sexual reproductive organs or not. It wasn't until about 2 years ago that I stopped taking birth control after switching from depo to nexplanon because it was making me go mentally insane. And this is where I am starting to really question my whole sexuality and gender identity.

 

Not long after I stopped taking birth control, it is like I am going through a very latent and weird form of puberty. Everything I should have felt (sexual attraction, labido, wanting to date, etc.) I did not feel when I started puberty, like with most teens, and I am almost 25 years old. 

 

I still don't know if I like males or females or both. Stereotypical masculine guys are a big turn off for me, but so are girly girls. Am I more attracted to androgynous people or is it me transferring what I want with myself onto other people? It almost feels like my sexuality and gender identity are overlapping and influencing one another.

 

If there is one thing I do know though, it is that I am androgynous. I have never had an interest in wearing makeup and rarely spend time caring about what to wear or how to style my hair. I don't like heels and very rarely wear dresses. I don't like emphasing the size of my breasts or hips or showing cleavage. I am very much tom boyish. I typically wear pants and tank tops and like baggy sweaters, cardigans, and flannels. 

 

I tend to take pride in not being overly feminine. I like that my voice isn't overly high pitched like some girls. I tend to hang out with guys more. I like videogaming and being outside hiking, building things, jogging (male stereotype stuff) more than shopping, gossiping, makeovers, etc. I even walk like a male and take pride in it. And I wish I were taller like a male.

 

That doesn't mean I want to be a male, even though I wish my body was less feminine. But at the same time, if I were born a male, I think I wouldn't mind being a male. I don't care about pronouns either. It's like I am just there. Whether I was born male or female doesn't seem to matter and that might be because I would probably still dress and act the same way as a male too. Even shaving would probably be the same (except my face). I unfortunately inherited my dad's "lovely" hairy legs. I don't like body hair. Now, that is my feminine side showing!

 

 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...

Appreciate all the comments and perspectives here. My 19 year old daughter recently shared with me that she has gender dysphoria and wants to have her breasts removed.  I want to support her and also don’t want her to do anything that she’ll later regret.  Also concerned about surgery and associated risks.  I am trying to understand and educate myself on gender dysphoria so all insight is welcome 🙏 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I know exactly what you mean with not wanting breasts but also feeling mostly female when it comes to gender expression. I have a similar story but with a weird twist, if that’s even the right word. 

When I was 18 (I’m now 28) I was almost a year into my first major depressive episode. Through the mental health care in my province I was given a psychiatrist who was a horrible man that generalized every single one of his patients into the same diagnosis therefore putting everyone on the same “cocktail” of meds. Not only did none of these medications actually help me but they ended up making me worse and one of them even activated a tumour in my brain that I didn’t know I had. It’s a benign micro tumour that is located on the pituitary gland which is responsible for a crap ton of different things in the body. My tumour just so happened to be a prolactinoma which essentially makes my breasts lactate even though I have never been pregnant and strangely enough it actually makes becoming pregnant incredibly difficult without medical assistance. So it’s been 10 years of lactating for no damn reason and every doctor and specialist I’ve seen says they are not going to do anything because I am a biological female which means that it’s not abnormal. 

Now that I have that mess out of the way of my story here we go. So from the very beginning of puberty I was beyond uncomfortable with both the physical sensation of growing breasts and the way it made me feel emotionally. I’m quite lucky with the fact that my breasts are fairly small but I don’t want them at all. I didn’t want them before the tumour and I don’t want them now. I’m fairly sure I mostly identify with female although I’m not entirely comfortable with my gender expression as just female even though I don’t feel male. I have never identified with my breasts and prefer to call that area my chest except for when referring to the whole lactating thing. Point to my way too long story and rambling is I don’t want breasts, I don’t want nipples, and even if I was able to have top surgery I still wouldn’t go shirtless. I’m unable to wear a binder because of my condition (compression just makes it worse) so I’ve been wearing sports bras for like 7 years now, the ones without cups, like just plain flat. And in the winter months my look is braless, baggy T-shirt’s under hoodies (or “unattractive” as my family doctor calls it lol) I just wish I could have them removed or even have some validation in how I feel. I just don’t know how to deal with it anymore :(

Edited by Brillix
Forgot to add something
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 5 months later...

I found this thread through searching for discussion and articles on the very same issue. I’m 30 yo and about to purchase my first binder. 
When I was thinner I dressed more androgynously and preferred being perceived that way. However, lockdowns got the pounds back on me again and my breasts have always been huge at this weight. HUGE. I hate it, I hate them but I don’t know if I’m nonbinary or just hate the sexualisation of my body because the size of my breasts dictates that I am perceived female and therefore sexualised. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable. 
When I was slimmer and dressed more androgynous I was misgendered as being male a number of times and it actually made me feel good - like I had accomplished something. Like I had successfully tricked the person into thinking I wasn’t female. 
Now, however, being curvier again, I detest how my body looks and how pronounced my breasts are. 
As others have said, and as you too quite rightly said, disliking your breasts doesn’t make you trans. I certainly don’t want to be a man but I do love dressing and appearing more masculine. 
I’m trialing wearing more ‘men’s’ clothes and not shaving to explore what makes me feel comfortable. I have my hair completely shaven.

I’m looking forward to seeing how a binder makes me feel. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 5 months later...

Me and my friends all watch this show called Heartstopper about gay guys falling in love. They’re all jealous of the love the guys have, they want someone to look at them with that much love. But me, I didn’t want they’re kind of love, I wanted to BE them. I hate my boobs, not their size, but the fact that they’re just, on me. I’m only 15, and I don’t have the most accepting family when it comes to the gay thing, so I can’t just try bonding. When people say ‘she’ or ‘her’ or call me by me regular name, it makes me cringe. I hate it. I don’t know if I’d be more comfortable with he/him pronouns or a different name, but I don’t know how much more of this I can take, I hate having boobs, a vagina, she/her pronouns, my name, I hate it all. I hate being a girl. Maybe it’s a phase, or maybe it’s who I am, I don’t know. I’m just so, confused and scared. I’ve always LOVED the name Kai, like a lot, I want to ask one or two of my friends if they could call me that and use masculine pronouns, see how it feels. But I’m just, too scared. Comments? Concerns? Most of all, Advise?

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/2/2017 at 11:19 PM, voidnilla said:

So having boobs has bothered me from pretty much the beginning of me having them. I don't want to be a guy at least I'm pretty sure I don't. I like wearing dresses but it wouldn't bother me if I was mistaken for a boy really either. I've been thinking of whether or not I fall somewhere on the non-binary line but I'm not sure how to figure out that kind of thing. My boobs just generally tend to upset me I always dress so that they look smaller than they are but if someone points out how big they are I get very uncomfortable and anxious I know they aren't saying it maliciously but I'm very self conscious of them. I've been thinking about trying to bind them since I'll be cosplaying a male character in the spring but I'm not sure if I should. I know this isn't really a question or anything but I'm just kinda looking for advice or other people who feel the same way

I would think there is rational reasons to dislike boobs. You suddenly develop something that costs all this extra money to house, and this is not an issue men face, even overweight men do not generally get bras. So its just an extra financial burden on woman who do end up developing them. It just seems like it would be a huge bother honestly. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
SilenceRadio
On 2/25/2021 at 11:43 AM, maybe000 said:

I read a lot about non-binary gender identities, but instinctively didn't feel that was me. I like being a woman.

On 1/21/2021 at 10:06 PM, Nora.B said:

Some times when I am home alone I will go in the bathroom and put on my tightest sports bras trying to make my chest as flat as possible and it’s such a good feeling to see my self with almost no boobs. But I will say I don’t wanna be a guy

On 5/20/2020 at 9:11 AM, Ellen1993 said:

I hate my breasts but I dont want to be the opposite sex but what I really truly want is to be topless and having breasts isn't entirely possible

I agree that discomfort with one's own body doesn't make someone transgender. People are free to identify however they want.

 

But "binary" trans people aren't the only kind of trans people: there are nonbinary folks as well. And among these nonbinary people, some of them fully identify with the gender they were assigned, and call themselves nonbinary purely because they are looking for top surgery/to transition. Being nonbinary is not incompatible with being a woman: nonbinary women exist as well, and they don't always consider themselves less of a woman. I'm just putting that out here, since people seem to think that being trans only means being the other binary gender or not identifying with one's own gender.

 

Had a discussion about that here in the past for those interested.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...

I hate having boobs. I don't believe it has anything to do with my gender identity. I identify a female and I am happy with that. But I just hate the sensation of boobs. When I was young I used to wear multiple bras just so I didn't feel them move. Today I just wear extremely tight bras but still find myself 80% of the day focusing on them move. These are bras so tight that I end up in pain as they cause severe welts and scabs. Going braless isn't an option because they move. When I was very young I had the same thing with shoes, my shoes had to be tied so tight that I couldn't feel them move. I am currently on a waiting list for ASD diagnosis which may explain why I fixate on these sensations, problem is it won't stop them. I would genuinely love to just have my breasts removed.

 

It was good to see this thread as when I have mentioned it before people just misunderstood me so even though there may not be a solution it's nice to know there are others out there

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 5 months later...

Hi, I’m an asexual women-ish, I’ve been questioning my gender for so long but, I hate my boobs, I don’t know how to tell my parents about this.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 months later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...