Jump to content
alibali

This may explain why asexuals have sex

Recommended Posts

Homer
19 minutes ago, vega57 said:

I wonder what the overwhelming consensus would be if people were taught early on, that they don't HAVE to like it or even do it, especially at a certain frequency. 

It's not about "society" "teaching" people to want sex. It's something the vast majority of people will just develop over time. Liking (or not liking) something is not a conscious decision. People don't wake up and decide that they're totally going to be into a certain kind of food from now on. Did "society" teach you to like your favourite books/movie/sports/band...

 

It just doesn't work this way. What you're describing here is a confidence issue; there are a lot of stories on here where people did engage in sexual and/or romantic activities in order to "fit in" or any of these things that never work out anyway. So yes, it's important to show people that they can live their life in different ways, but still... the overwhelming, vast majority of people will end up wanting sex at some point in their lives anyway.

 

This is not "society's" "fault".

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GLRDT
17 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

Why does the media participate in this brain washing, if nobody's really interested otherwise? 

It seems clear to me that most of society is interested in sex. What Im wondering about now, is our world so sex driven because people are sexual and are often thinking about sex and so the media is building it's direction off of the people and what sells or is it because this is all we have known and is shown to us on a daily basis through media and so we are brainwashed to be obsessed about sex? I mean I'm sure in the beginning media was full of sex because they started to realize it sells, but is the reason they keep doing it now because we are brainwashed as a society to be obsessed with it or is it because people genuinely want to see it everywhere? It's like the chicken question. Did the chicken come first or the egg? No way to really know. Wow and on that note, I feel like I just talked in circles and my post was kind of pointless. Oh well nonetheless, its been posted anyhow and I'm confused. Ha ha.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
alibali
24 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

Why does the media participate in this brain washing, if nobody's really interested otherwise? 

So....is it really like the movies and TV shows portray?? I am both being facetious, and genuinely interested. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GLRDT
3 minutes ago, Homer said:

It's not about "society" "teaching" people to want sex. It's something the vast majority of people will just develop over time. Liking (or not liking) something is not a conscious decision. People don't wake up and decide that they're totally going to be into a certain kind of food from now on. Did "society" teach you to like your favourite books/movie/sports/band...

 

It just doesn't work this way. What you're describing here is a confidence issue; there are a lot of stories on here where people did engage in sexual and/or romantic activities in order to "fit in" or any of these things that never work out anyway. So yes, it's important to show people that they can live their life in different ways, but still... the overwhelming, vast majority of people will end up wanting sex at some point in their lives anyway.

 

This is not "society's" "fault".

In the end I think it's both. It's the environment you are in and your natural inclinations and desires. I think they both affect the outcome of a sexually driven world.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Homer

The way you're wired is the basic ingredient for anything. Do you want sex in the first place, who do you want it with, what do you like, how often, yada yada. These things are inside you, no matter what "society" tells you. The only effect your environment can have is to make it easier or harder to figure yourself out. It's much harder to figure out that you're gay when you live in a deeply religious environment where being gay is seen as evil and whatnot. Yet that doesn't make you any less gay.

 

"Society" won't make you sexual, just as much as it won't make you asexual.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GLRDT

Well yes I agree with that. Society can't make you into your sexual orientation. But I feel that media can make society more openly focused on sex and help for people to feel it's something they are supposed to have a certain amount of times in a certain way in order to be "normal". So yes I agree it is much harder to figure out your sexual orientation when it seems like society has only thrown out like one or a couple of ways to love and what you should focus on as a whole.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GLRDT

Oh I get it now. I think we were talking about two different things at first. Homer was talking about society/media influencing or not your sexual orientation and I was attempting rather poorly to talk about society/media influencing our obsession with sex in movies, commercials, books, everything in our world. So I'm wondering if media focuses on sex because many of us our sexual beings or because while many of us still may be sexual beings media has still brainwashed us to think sex has to be involved in everything all the time? I'm still not sure if I'm being clear but one thing I want to make clear is I don't think sexual orientation is a choice. You are born with that. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
roland.o
20 hours ago, alibali said:

It made me unhappy when I was in a relationship because it ruined the relationship. 

Fair enough. :cake:

 

17 hours ago, vega57 said:

Not true, either. 

 

I do things that doesn't exactly make me happy, but I do them because they're important to do. 

I don't understand how what you write would make my statement not true.

But there are so many negations in the mix that I might just be unable to get the logic straight.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity

I might eventually agree to have sex once in while to make my significant other happy. But that's it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68

I do think the media reinforces it, but they wouldn't reinforce it if people didn't enjoy it being reinforced and there wasn't anything to reinforce. As for 'the media' - as in modern mass media - inventing romantic sexual relationships... Words fail me... Sappho. Aristophanes. Courtly love. Chaucer. Shakespeare. Andrew Marvell. Byron. Christina Rossetti. 

 

Sex in the mass media: It's partly titillation, partly reflecting the importance it has in most people's lives. The real thing isn't any more like movie sex than real life is like movie life - generally the people aren't as beautiful, the lighting isn't as good, and there's no real way to take your socks off erotically. But a good movie can capture the feeling of the moment just as it can with any moment, and be just as involving. Your friend's wedding doesn't have to look like Four Weddings And A Funeral to be just as touching. 

 

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Homer
12 minutes ago, GLRDT said:

I think we were talking about two different things at first. Homer was talking about society/media influencing or not your sexual orientation and I was attempting rather poorly to talk about society/media influencing our obsession with sex in movies, commercials, books, everything in our world.

I don't even think that it's two different things we're talking about.

 

It's more of a hen or egg thing. There are folks on here who claim that it's "society"/the media/movies/... that teach people that they should be wanting sex and/or romance. Then there are folks on here who think that media/movies put quite a bit of emphasis on sexual and/or romantic things because people are interested in it.

 

Media or advertising scumbags try to sell things for a living. So they'll naturally try to spin their stories as relatable as possible, to address an audience as widespread as possible because ka-ching. Now how many things are there that almost 100% of people have in common? Breathing? Damn, that's going to be a thriller movie, even better than the book :D then there's food, sleep and mating (let me know if I missed something).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GLRDT

Yeah in the end I don't think it matters why media does it. They just do, but telecaster got me thinking about it when they said something about why does the media participate in this brainwashing if no one is really interested otherwise? It's interesting to think about to some extent but kind of impossible to figure out the answer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
alibali

It looks very intoxicating and enjoyable on films and TV. But then again they're acting....lolol. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Snao van der Cone
14 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

there's no real way to take your socks off erotically.

Challenge accepted! 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Homer
12 minutes ago, Snao Çoñé said:

Challenge accepted! 

What's the name of your youtube channel again? :D

 

 

18 minutes ago, GLRDT said:

why does the media participate in this brainwashing

Why do some people think that it is brainwashing in the first place? Why is it so hard to accept that different people have different ideas of what they want their lives to be like? That's all there is to it. People are different.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GLRDT
6 minutes ago, Homer said:

What's the name of your youtube channel again? :D

 

 

Why do some people think that it is brainwashing in the first place? Why is it so hard to accept that different people have different ideas of what they want their lives to be like? That's all there is to it. People are different.

I guess I would potentially think the media is brainwashing people if they make it seem like everyone or most people or all the cool people do something this way or want it a certain way. Because then statistically speaking, there has to be more people than the media is recognizing who don't think like how the media is portraying the world. It doesn't mean nobody thinks differently or no one likes how media is portraying things, but what if you don't care about sex, but you see it in everything wherever you go billboards, movies, commercials, books? Then maybe you start to think that is how you are supposed to think about the world in a sexual way, even if it's subconsciously. That sounds sort of brainwashy to me. But yes I'm all for people having different ideas. Since people do have different ideas. Why doesn't media display more ideas than such a sexually driven world. Unless most of the world is sexually driven, which they may be. Sigh I'm back in circles again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Homer
1 minute ago, GLRDT said:

but what if you don't care about sex, but you see it in everything wherever you go billboards, movies, commercials, books? Then maybe you start to think that is how you are supposed to think about the world in a sexual way, even if it's subconsciously.

There are so many popular things out there I have precisely zero interest in. Movies, fantasy books, anime... (just to name a few of the popular ones on AVEN). I just shrug and move on. Yet I certainly acknowledge that this might be much easier for the 35yo me than for a teen. Personally I never thought I was "supposed to think one thing or the other", but things certainly have been different 20 years ago... it might be more difficult to come to terms with yourself nowadays.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GLRDT
21 minutes ago, Homer said:

There are so many popular things out there I have precisely zero interest in. Movies, fantasy books, anime... (just to name a few of the popular ones on AVEN). I just shrug and move on. Yet I certainly acknowledge that this might be much easier for the 35yo me than for a teen. Personally I never thought I was "supposed to think one thing or the other", but things certainly have been different 20 years ago... it might be more difficult to come to terms with yourself nowadays.

I agree, I've always been true to myself, but at the same time I recognize that media can subconsciously reach everyone including myself and you might not even know how it affects you.  I don't know if we want to go here because it is a touchy subject, but for example, people of color are often featured in the media in crimes. There is no way that people of color are responsible for every horrible thing that goes on out there in the world, but the stupid media has played a part in people fearing people of color even if it's on a small level. I grew up in a small country town with pretty much no diversity in thinking, race, culture, religion or anything. It majorly sucked because I did not really feel I had a place there and I feel I am an openminded person who loves to learn from people who are different than me. I think beauty comes from diversity and I was taught to be open to everything and everyone. ANYHOO, the first time I was in a city and a group of young men of color were coming my direction, I had a brief moment where I felt a little unnerved and tensed up on a minuscule level, (of course this also could have been because they were a group of young men in general and I was a small petite woman alone) but I think for a brief second, it was because I wasn't used to seeing people besides white people everywhere and when I did see people of color in the media it somehow sunk deep down that I should feel a certain way around them.  I was surprised that I was feeling this and honestly ever since I haven't been aware of feeling that way again towards anybody simply by how they looked, unless they were giving off a major creepy vibe.  So if this subtle racism or whatnot can happen subconsciously through media brainwashing, who is to say it couldn't happen with sex as well?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68

We're not entirely sexually driven, but it's up there with family, friends, etc.

 

Actually advertisers know what they're doing, and it's the other way round from brainwashing people into sex. Lots of well established research shows that humans associate things they experience together, so that one takes on some of the emotional meaning of the other. So put a sexually attractive person, or a shared joke, or a nice sunset in the shot with the product, and next time we see the product, we associate it with the emotions from the sexually attractive person, or shared joke, or nice sunset *even without them being there*. This is a pretty well established phenomenon.

 

So actually the sex is being used to brainwash us into buying stuff, and if you follow the money, it makes a whole lot more sense than 'the media' trying to tell people they like sex when they don't, for no easily definable reason.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
vega57
8 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

We're not entirely sexually driven, but it's up there with family, friends, etc.

 

Actually advertisers know what they're doing, and it's the other way round from brainwashing. Lots of well established research shows that humans associate things they experience together, so that one takes on soemof the emotional meaning of the other. So put a sexually attractive person, or a shared joke, or a nice sunset in the shot with the product, and next time we see the product, we associate it with the emotions from the sexually attractive person, or shared joke, or nice sunset *even without them being there*. This is a pretty well established phenomenon.

 

So actually the sex is being used to brainwash us into buying stuff, and if you follow the money, it makes a whole lot more sense than 'the media' trying to tell people they like sex when they don't, for no easily definable reason.

Fair enough. 

 

What are your thoughts about the medical profession being involved with this "brainwashing"? 

 

I mean, a whole bunch of people in the medical profession do use the media to spread the word that "EVERYBODY LOVES SEX". 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68

Do they? What are you referring to?

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Snao van der Cone

There is a message out there that sex, and a persistent love of sex, is necessary for health. But most health information is misconstrued in news media or interest campaigning, not just sex related. Look at Dr. Oz and the number of terrible things he's encouraging people to do. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68

That isn't the medical profession using the media to brainwash unwilling sex haters into believing they get depressed when they don't have sex though.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Snao van der Cone

The "people in the medical profession" here might be more like marketing departments of pharmaceutical companies, and a few doctors who ascribe to similar pitches.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
m4rble
2 hours ago, Snao Çoñé said:

 

2 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

there's no real way to take your socks off erotically.

Challenge accepted!

 

1) Well, I lot of people have foot fetishes. 

2) If you don't have a foot fetish why would you bother to take your socks off for sex?

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68

I suspect its probably more the case in the UK. Pharma can't advertise to consumers in the UK and doctors can't endorse things.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
Just now, m4rble said:

 

2) If you don't have a foot fetish why would you bother to take your socks off for sex?

Same reason you'd take the rest of your clothes off. Nakedness is part of the intimacy.

 

Also, people in just socks look comical.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
m4rble
On 9/27/2017 at 9:47 AM, Telecaster68 said:

I think it comes down to how much someone enjoys it. Years ago, I went whitewater rafting and enjoyed it, but I've never had the urge to repeat it; some people can't enough though. I've always concluded they just enjoyed it more than me.

 

Someone (Snao, I think) once described on here how she enjoyed sex, when she did, and to me, as a sexual, it sounded like a lot of effort for not that much payoff. But it was enough for her call it 'enjoying', even though if it was me, I'd have no particular desire to keep doing it either.

I think one important difference between sex and white water rafting is that sex is more accessible to most people if they're in a romantic relationship with a sexual person. It's a lot easier to go home and fuck than it is to book a rafting guide. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
m4rble
Just now, Telecaster68 said:

Same reason you'd take the rest of your clothes off. Nakedness is part of the intimacy.

 

Also, people in just socks look comical.

My feet get cold, I only take my socks off for showering and changing. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
vega57
30 minutes ago, Snao Çoñé said:

There is a message out there that sex, and a persistent love of sex, is necessary for health.

^^ THIS^^

 

Quote

But most health information is misconstrued in news media or interest campaigning, not just sex related.

I also agree. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...