J. van Deijck Posted October 11, 2022 Share Posted October 11, 2022 Both posts above me: hello 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Into_the_Gray Posted October 30, 2022 Share Posted October 30, 2022 Welcome Alex. I'm in the UK too 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GBlue Posted November 10, 2022 Share Posted November 10, 2022 Hi everyone. UK person here as well. I'm generally more picky in homoromanticism rather than hetero, but guys can definitely be cute and pretty 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted November 10, 2022 Share Posted November 10, 2022 To be honest, I don't really like being called "pretty" or "cute". I guess it's just a personal preference and nothing directed to a specific person. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ItsPaulo Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 Hey! How're things going over here? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 15 minutes ago, ItsPaulo said: Hey! How're things going over here? Pretty quiet, I must say 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ItsPaulo Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 1 hour ago, godverdomme said: Pretty quiet, I must say Ahhh let's change that! Wondering how people here feel about relationships? Are you done with them, open to them, actively hopeful? I'm a bit of a romantic myself but I find it hard to be hopeful to find a relationship with someone that wouldn't mind the lack of sexual intimacy, especially since the gay community is hypersexual. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 Yeah, we are truly unique on that matter I'm married. He's bisexual, but most likely aromantic. We're like best friends. I must say I'm generally happy, even though he's not ace. I could say the same about my ex, he's gay, but most likely demisexual, and he has never put any pressure on me. That was perfect. Now let's see what others say 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ItsPaulo Posted November 18, 2022 Share Posted November 18, 2022 That's so heartwarming to hear! I've been feeling pretty hopeless about dating anymore allos, but to hear a something like that, despite everyone having different preferences and likes, it gives me hope! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted November 19, 2022 Share Posted November 19, 2022 I've given up. I'm unlovable and can't relate to another person on that level. I will never be in a relationship. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Muledeer Posted November 20, 2022 Share Posted November 20, 2022 On 11/16/2022 at 12:02 PM, ItsPaulo said: Wondering how people here feel about relationships? Are you done with them, open to them, actively hopeful? I am passively hopeful for a relationship. It could be anybody of any age of any gender. But I quit seeking a relationship long ago. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted November 20, 2022 Share Posted November 20, 2022 I don't think anyone here is unlovable, honestly. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Broken Doll Posted November 20, 2022 Share Posted November 20, 2022 9 hours ago, Tja said: I've given up. I'm unlovable and can't relate to another person on that level. I will never be in a relationship. This is so me in so many ways. I'm on that age where I start to believe I won't ever find a QPR after being single for so many years. I guess I just got used to being alone. I don't belong in this thread but I can relate 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted November 20, 2022 Share Posted November 20, 2022 Loveable… actual love… to me it don’t matter, what I’d got in an Aro ace gay partner that i may get weekly or monthly contact with, talking, sex or romance, is plenty for me, for the last 5 and a half years. After being single for well… 30 years, its a bonus indifferent experience for me. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted November 20, 2022 Share Posted November 20, 2022 4 hours ago, Broken Doll said: I don't belong in this thread but I can relate I think everyone does, as long as they're male-leaning and attracted to men or masculine people in any way, not necessarily romantic but maybe I'm just inclusive 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Into_the_Gray Posted November 26, 2022 Share Posted November 26, 2022 On 11/16/2022 at 7:02 PM, ItsPaulo said: Ahhh let's change that! Wondering how people here feel about relationships? Are you done with them, open to them, actively hopeful? I'm open to them, and often feel a longing to be in a relationship again, but I also feel like being very grey about all things sexual and romantic, has put up an awful lot of barriers. I had several relationships when I was young, but I feel quite out of practice now. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernForestCats Posted November 29, 2022 Share Posted November 29, 2022 On 11/16/2022 at 1:02 PM, ItsPaulo said: Ahhh let's change that! Wondering how people here feel about relationships? Are you done with them, open to them, actively hopeful? I'm a bit of a romantic myself but I find it hard to be hopeful to find a relationship with someone that wouldn't mind the lack of sexual intimacy, especially since the gay community is hypersexual. I want to be in one but I am sex repulsed so I don't think a relationship will happen in the near future. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ItsPaulo Posted November 30, 2022 Share Posted November 30, 2022 On 11/26/2022 at 6:23 PM, Demicratic said: I also feel like being very grey about all things sexual and romantic, has put up an awful lot of barriers. I think I understand this! If a situation like a relationship or QPR should arise and you engage in it, I hope they keep a safe place for you to explore those aspects of yourself without any pressure. Not to say that you can't explore those things without another, I think you definitely can, though it may make it easier! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Into_the_Gray Posted December 26, 2022 Share Posted December 26, 2022 Thank you! I hope so too 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
simpleminded90 Posted January 10, 2023 Share Posted January 10, 2023 Happy New Year to everyone. Not sure if this is the ideal place to ask this but does anyone have any thoughts on the relatively new "side" orientation and whether it has any relation to asexuality ? I ask this only because it's something I have been wondering about. There are men who identify as gay side who have no interest in penetrative sex and only engage in "light" sex recreationally and it feels to me that an asexual homo-oriented man who does not recognise himself as such could easily confuse arousal for sexual attraction (many people do) and identify as side. I can't think of any place other than here where I might get such views - if there are any - and please be honest if this a silly question I won't be offended . 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted January 10, 2023 Share Posted January 10, 2023 2 hours ago, simpleminded90 said: Happy New Year to everyone. Same to you To me, it's a personal matter how people identify as everyone is free to do so on their own way. I'm not offended if someone says I'm gay because I have a strong preference for men anyway, and whether I want to have sex with them or not is not really relevant, most people don't understand it anyway arousal is just biology anyway. It happens to people and it's a sign their bodies work properly. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Absentminded Posted January 15, 2023 Share Posted January 15, 2023 Just saw this. Figured I'd say hello. I think I'm demiromantic for both genders. But I'm (grey) heterosexual. Kinda weird. Don't know if this was what you're looking for. I don't think I'll end up dating a guy though, because people expect certain things in a relationship, and people assume stuff. But if society were different, I'd date any of my friends, and I'd be happy with any of them as a life partner, regardless of gender. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted January 16, 2023 Share Posted January 16, 2023 Is it appropriate to say here that the conductor who has checked my train ticket was really handsome and had a nice smile? I hope I wasn't blushing when he did 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted January 18, 2023 Share Posted January 18, 2023 On 1/16/2023 at 7:57 AM, Baasje said: Is it appropriate to say here that the conductor who has checked my train ticket was really handsome and had a nice smile? Yes 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted January 18, 2023 Share Posted January 18, 2023 2 hours ago, Tja said: Yes Yay. I feel validated now I'll most likely never see him again... unless I take the same train, and I'm quite tempted to do so, even though I have no business in that city anymore He had a different accent than me, so it makes things more interesting, too 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted January 20, 2023 Share Posted January 20, 2023 On 1/18/2023 at 12:58 AM, Baasje said: Yay. I feel validated now 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted January 21, 2023 Share Posted January 21, 2023 Seriously, though I took the train in the same direction yesterday, but there was someone else to check the tickets. Such a disappointment 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 You'll appreciate it more if it's not too easy. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 That's for sure. Time to go to Hasselt again On a side note, last time we ordered takeaway food, I was tracking the order and when the driver was close, I opened the door and omg, that dude was really handsome and friendly 😍 he must have been younger than me, though 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Yellow Rue Posted February 5, 2023 Share Posted February 5, 2023 On 1/10/2023 at 9:35 AM, simpleminded90 said: Happy New Year to everyone. Not sure if this is the ideal place to ask this but does anyone have any thoughts on the relatively new "side" orientation and whether it has any relation to asexuality ? I ask this only because it's something I have been wondering about. There are men who identify as gay side who have no interest in penetrative sex and only engage in "light" sex recreationally and it feels to me that an asexual homo-oriented man who does not recognise himself as such could easily confuse arousal for sexual attraction (many people do) and identify as side. I can't think of any place other than here where I might get such views - if there are any - and please be honest if this a silly question I won't be offended . Possible. If they are more comfortable around men, and are interested in a romantic relationship with men, then confusing libido for sexual attraction is possible, likely even. One consequence that comes to mind, especially from reading askgaybros on reddit, is that side sex doesn't (seem to) have nearly as much dominance/submission connotations as penetrative sex does. Both parties seem more equal. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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