Tja Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 Welcome to AVEN, @Spencer13. We do some chatting on WhatsApp. Go back a few pages, and the info to join should be there. We're not super chatty there, but, more than here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tjp3 Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 On 8/27/2020 at 10:15 AM, Jakequaza said: Hi, i’m new to aven, been looking for others like me Welcome!!! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tomoyotk Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 Yo yo! New hear, but I see whatsapp is whats up so Im hunting that down. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
135642 Posted September 12, 2020 Share Posted September 12, 2020 On 3/31/2020 at 5:38 PM, sensual me said: Hello... Discovering my sexuality was a long process. At the beginning I labeled myself as gay. But when I started to meet guys, I found out that I am avert to penetrative and oral sex and that I just like cuddling, kissing and hugging. In other words I love to be sensual rather than sexual with a person. When I googled "people who do not like penetrative sex", the term asexual was returned to me. I read about the topic thoroughly and then I discovered that there are two types of attraction: romantic and sexual. I came to the result that I am homoromantic asexual. I even discovered that I cannot feel any affection towards someone unless an emotional bond is established with him or if I do not feel that he has some affection to me . I added the term demiromantic to finally label myself as homoromantic demiromantic asexual. I am happy to find out that there are guys like me in this world. Thanks for taking the time to read my post. This is absolutely how I feel. I'm a little late to the game, but I feel so strongly drawn to this description that I had to say hi. This is so much something I connect to. You're definitely not alone, mate. Trust there are more of us out here - just waiting to connect with awesome people like you 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ukrguy Posted September 12, 2020 Share Posted September 12, 2020 On 2/21/2020 at 1:04 PM, ukrguy said: Okay. As I realized there is a possibility to join by link, here it is: https://chat.whatsapp.com/ERLpV8hS5UYLMFkFV8ML8q if by any chance someone wants to join but doesn't read all the pages here - you are welcome! 😛 cuddles and warm conversations are there. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenWings Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 So there's this guy and we've had some sort of online thing going on for a few months now. He says he loves me and i am very important to him, but he spends a lot of his time playing a computer game. we've had really great deep and meaningful conversations and i felt like we both had a real connection. i was online all day today just sitting there waiting to hear from him, hoping for a hi or something. He didn't say a thing to me all day, he just played that stupid computer game. He didn't even check to see if i was online and that's like the first thing i do every day when i come online is to see if he's on. i didn't say anything to him cause i didn't want to disturb him while he was playing his fav game, and i wanted to see if he would talk to me first, if he would even look to see if i was online. A few days ago he said good night to me that he was going to bed and that he loved me, but then he started up the game and played it for the next six hours. i don't know if i'm asking for advice or just venting or both. so yeah, i've just been feeling really depressed today. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 10 minutes ago, BrokenWings said: So there's this guy and we've had some sort of online thing going on for a few months now. He says he loves me and i am very important to him, but he spends a lot of his time playing a computer game. we've had really great deep and meaningful conversations and i felt like we both had a real connection. i was online all day today just sitting there waiting to hear from him, hoping for a hi or something. He didn't say a thing to me all day, he just played that stupid computer game. He didn't even check to see if i was online and that's like the first thing i do every day when i come online is to see if he's on. i didn't say anything to him cause i didn't want to disturb him while he was playing his fav game, and i wanted to see if he would talk to me first, if he would even look to see if i was online. A few days ago he said good night to me that he was going to bed and that he loved me, but then he started up the game and played it for the next six hours. i don't know if i'm asking for advice or just venting or both. so yeah, i've just been feeling really depressed today. I am sorry that this happened to you. Some guys are into games or cars or what have you. So one has to learn to enjoy the moments one gets. At least from what I see. Yes I know it would be great to spend a lot of time together ... But that does not always happen. Enjoy your alone time and try and learn about yourself and get to know more about what you seek in a relationship. I hope it works out for you. But do not worry too much about relationships. Just allow them to happen. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rynn Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 @BrokenWings I think you should talk to him about this. He probably doesn't know that you feel like this. Maybe he doesn't need contact every day in a romantic relationship. It differs per person, and I think it's good to talk about what each of you needs from each other in a relationship. Otherwise expectations are unlikely to match reality, and that leads to disappointment. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheRomanticGayAce Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 Hi Everyone! I know this is not really a "dating thread," but I wanted to put it out into the AVEN-verse that I'm a homoromantic man totally down for a date. I'm the most romantic person you will ever meet; a lover of theatre and literature; and quite the traveler when we aren't grounded by a global pandemic. Of course, I am happy to make friends as well - my ultimate hope is to find and fall in love with a companion for like though. So to those of you out there seeking a similar thing, please get in touch. Let's take that step and see where it leads us. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
riskygamble Posted December 7, 2020 Share Posted December 7, 2020 Another relatively new guy here. Wish there were more asexual-related homoromantic spaces out there, at least this one exists :). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bentley Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 Hi guys..I am wishing to join a chat group regarding gay men who are interested in a asexual relationship. Hope to hear from someone to guide me through this adventure. Thanks Carey Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Keith3 Posted December 29, 2020 Share Posted December 29, 2020 Hi Bentley, I am looking to find the same type of thing. If you discover something please let me know. BTW read your profile and it seems we are looking for the same thing. Keith 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Keith3 Posted December 29, 2020 Share Posted December 29, 2020 Hi Guys, New to the group and looking to meet like minded men or if luck falls on me something more. Hit me up if you want to chat or could give recommendations on how to meet other Homoromantic Asexual Men. Have tried dating apps and it doesn’t work for me. Happy New Years 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MattPlymouth Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 Nice to see a forum that fits me perfectly Quote Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted March 9, 2021 Share Posted March 9, 2021 if you're a gay virgin male born before 1973, there is a Aven thread called older virgins over 40 in Older Asexual section Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Deadpool Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 Hi ! I hope you guys are doing good. I'm a 21 year old guy and I'm new here. I've never experienced sexual attraction to anyone. At first when I was in middle school I just thought I wasn't attracted to girls but at that time I wouldn't have thought I could be gay. It was later in highschool that I realized I was attracted to guys, but not in a sexual way. So I started to identify myself as gay anyway. A few years later I was thinking I was just afraid of sex as I still had not experienced anything. So I went to an app, talked to that guy and ended up in his bed 2 weeks later. Well, I didn't like it at all, so I realized it was not fear. Now I kinda regret it but I usually don't give things a lot of importance so it's ok xD The problem is, I have never wanted to be in a romantic relationship either. Being in love is not something I'm seeking, and neither is having sex. It is a bit difficult as I would really like to want those things, but it seems they are not part of me at all. I tried to tell that story to my closest friends but as they can't relate, they don't really understand. The only thing they would tell me is "you just didn't find the right person yet". I thought posting this here might help me find answers as there seems to be guys in a similar situation to mine here. Is it possible that I am just asexual and haven't met the right person yet for a romantic relationship? Or is it possible that I am just both asexual and aromantic? Thank you for reading me and I'm looking forward to chatting with you on all these subjects as I am willing to learn about them! Peace ! ❤️ 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 It's possible, and perfectly fine, that you may be Aro-Ace. I am. I've tried, and still leave myself open to the possibility, but don't see anything happening. I'm fine with never being in a relationship. 🙂 The man of my dreams will have to remain just that. 6 hours ago, Deadpool said: Hi ! I hope you guys are doing good. I'm a 21 year old guy and I'm new here. I've never experienced sexual attraction to anyone. At first when I was in middle school I just thought I wasn't attracted to girls but at that time I wouldn't have thought I could be gay. It was later in highschool that I realized I was attracted to guys, but not in a sexual way. So I started to identify myself as gay anyway. A few years later I was thinking I was just afraid of sex as I still had not experienced anything. So I went to an app, talked to that guy and ended up in his bed 2 weeks later. Well, I didn't like it at all, so I realized it was not fear. Now I kinda regret it but I usually don't give things a lot of importance so it's ok xD The problem is, I have never wanted to be in a romantic relationship either. Being in love is not something I'm seeking, and neither is having sex. It is a bit difficult as I would really like to want those things, but it seems they are not part of me at all. I tried to tell that story to my closest friends but as they can't relate, they don't really understand. The only thing they would tell me is "you just didn't find the right person yet". I thought posting this here might help me find answers as there seems to be guys in a similar situation to mine here. Is it possible that I am just asexual and haven't met the right person yet for a romantic relationship? Or is it possible that I am just both asexual and aromantic? Thank you for reading me and I'm looking forward to chatting with you on all these subjects as I am willing to learn about them! Peace ! ❤️ 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 2 hours ago, Tja said: I'm fine with never being in a relationship. 🙂 The man of my dreams will have to remain just that. Aww that sounds so cute. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 @Deadpool Hi. I don't consider myself to be homoromantic (since I don't seem to be romantically attracted to others); I just read your post and thought, perhaps, this link--which explains other, different kinds of attraction--might help, in case any of them might click for you. Asexuality, Attraction, and Romantic Orientation | LGBTQ (unc.edu) Quote Aesthetic attraction: occurs when someone appreciates the appearance or beauty of another person(s), disconnected from sexual or romantic attraction. Sensual attraction: the desire to interact with others in a tactile, non-sexual way, such as through hugging or cuddling. Emotional attraction: the desire to get to know someone, often as a result of their personality instead of their physicality. This type of attraction is present in most relationships from platonic friendships to romantic and sexual relationships. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
riskygamble Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 I've been trying to engage more with LGBT spaces lately, particularly those aimed toward gay men, as a result feeling disheartened and alienated. I think AVEN is about the only specific gay-ace spot I've found but I wish I could find more. I chatted with a long time online friend who I hadn't spoken to in a while and the conversation eventually led to discussing hookups and what seems to be the ostensible truth of being gay: hookup culture, difficulty maintaining long term relationships, less emphasis on romantic pursuits, body shaming/ridicule and isolation. It is difficult to contend with what is associated with gay culture and in some light I struggle with my relationship not being as valid because of my disinterest in sex and sexual pursuits. I feel I have found more in common with people who exist as minorities within the LGB community, particularly trans people and ethnic minorities that try to navigate a very hypersexual and white environment. Still it's different because at its core I'm missing what seems to be at the forefront of all this, the sexual component that other gay/bi men discuss, laugh, lament and bond over. I even feel a degree of isolation from my allosexual partner despite us having similar experiences. Its an annoying nagging insecurity that I'm not as valid and have no place in gay spaces as a result. I know I'm far from the only person who shares that sentiment but I have not read much about other asexual homoromantic men and their relationships with the gay/broader community. I have been told and have read to summarize that this is just me being a prude, that I haven't been with the right guy, that I haven't found the correct "position", that this is just a manifestation of body insecurity. I hope that as I get older it'll be easier to engage more with the community but the experiences thus far have been similar to a second dousing of salt in the wound. If I were more of a go-getter and organizational type I would be inclined to start something. Time will tell. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 @riskygamble Hi. Thanks, for sharing what it's like for you, as a homoromantic ace, trying to interact with the gay community. I'm sorry to hear that it can feel isolating and unwelcoming. Have you come across @Slice of Ace's Youtube channel? He's a homoromantic ace in a relationship, who's also talked about how it can be a struggle, being a homoromantic ace in the gay community, where sexual relationships are talked about a lot. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
riskygamble Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 @LeChat I haven't seen that youtube channel yet, thank you for recommending it. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 @riskygamble You're welcome! I hope it helps. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tjp3 Posted March 30, 2021 Share Posted March 30, 2021 If anyone is looking for more gay asexual spaces. There’s the Asexual Gay Men subrebbit on Reddit. They also have a discord that you can join. https://www.reddit.com/r/AsexualGayMen/ 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Slice of Ace Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 On 3/28/2021 at 9:33 AM, LeChat said: @riskygamble Hi. Thanks, for sharing what it's like for you, as a homoromantic ace, trying to interact with the gay community. I'm sorry to hear that it can feel isolating and unwelcoming. Have you come across @Slice of Ace's Youtube channel? He's a homoromantic ace in a relationship, who's also talked about how it can be a struggle, being a homoromantic ace in the gay community, where sexual relationships are talked about a lot. Thanks for sharing! I also keep an eye on this topic 😂 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jackza Posted April 7, 2021 Share Posted April 7, 2021 Im gay but not in a sexy way Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jackza Posted April 7, 2021 Share Posted April 7, 2021 On 3/31/2021 at 6:38 PM, Slice of Ace said: Thanks for sharing! I also keep an eye on this topic 😂 Hey! I really like your youtube channel it helped me a lot 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Oberon Jasper Posted April 7, 2021 Share Posted April 7, 2021 Oh, hello my people! Edit: I'm a little more complicated than just homoromantic, but for the most part it fits. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 I'm pan (more or less) but ironically haven't been in a lot of gay/queer spaces. I guess I'll start here Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ukrguy Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 Hey, please join my whatsapp group, my homo ace kittens 😘 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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