Homoromantic guys chat

[Antihero.]

.

[Éadweard]

Are gay men ever satisfied with who they are with? I just found out another couple (this is the third this year) has decided to open up their marriage. Of my gay friends, I don’t think i know of one who wasn’t always looking for something better whether they were with someone or not. And they always say it’s because they aren’t satisfied sexually. Where the hell does that leave us?

[Éadweard]

This thread just kind of died. Maybe if it was pinned, which only seems fair since asexy lesbians are pinned, it might stay active. 

[bejjinks]

57 minutes ago, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ said:

This thread just kind of died. Maybe if it was pinned, which only seems fair since asexy lesbians are pinned, it might stay active. 

If we want to take a lesson from the asexy lesbians, maybe what this thread needs is some actual talk about being asexy gays. The asexy lesbians immediately got into a discussion about "realized I was into chicks before I realized I was also asexual". The asexy gays, after a long litany of "May I join" posts had it's first discussion about "I can't even get a proper sleep now". Anytime anyone mentions anything gay, there is either silence or the person is told to go find a dating site because we don't talk about that stuff here.

[J. van Deijck]

11 hours ago, bejjinks said:

If we want to take a lesson from the asexy lesbians, maybe what this thread needs is some actual talk about being asexy gays. The asexy lesbians immediately got into a discussion about "realized I was into chicks before I realized I was also asexual". The asexy gays, after a long litany of "May I join" posts had it's first discussion about "I can't even get a proper sleep now". Anytime anyone mentions anything gay, there is either silence or the person is told to go find a dating site because we don't talk about that stuff here.

...you don't know what's been happening here before XD RIP all the awesome threads that got locked because of the amount of gay.

*summons

@Antihero. and yes I have beer

[bejjinks]

44 minutes ago, [noize:injekktion] said:

...you don't know what's been happening here before XD RIP all the awesome threads that got locked because of the amount of gay.

No, I don't. Would  you help me read some of those previous threads so I can know what's been happening? Perhaps those threads were more gay sexual instead of gay asexual. Maybe if we figure out why they were locked (specifically) we could figure out what kind of discussion is possible without getting locked. Otherwise, there is no point in even having a thread called "Homoromantic guys chat".

[Antihero.]

4 hours ago, [noize:injekktion] said:

...you don't know what's been happening here before XD RIP all the awesome threads that got locked because of the amount of gay.

  Hide contents

*summons

@Antihero. and yes I have beer

 

Ja, the good old times x’D
Damn was that one thread locked quickly. I only managed to make one post in there and quickly after it was gone already. A typical AVEN move towards humour and fun though.
But we also had quite some laughs and an awesome amount of gayness when the ‘wtf corner’ and that ‘Goths of Aven’ thread were still active, until the mods told us to quit with the gayness in the 'wtf corner' that was x’D

All of those were light hearted threads were people were having a good time and making fun though and I think that this is not what the person you quoted there is looking for at all.
From what I am observing he wants a dead serious on point discussion, strictly focussed on asexuality, with only asexual participants who never said anything off-topic (regardless of the intention of the thread and that it is called a bloody chat thread for homoromantic guys to chat without a strict subject to follow). 

 

16 hours ago, bejjinks said:

If we want to take a lesson from the asexy lesbians, maybe what this thread needs is some actual talk about being asexy gays. The asexy lesbians immediately got into a discussion about "realized I was into chicks before I realized I was also asexual". The asexy gays, after a long litany of "May I join" posts had it's first discussion about "I can't even get a proper sleep now". Anytime anyone mentions anything gay, there is either silence or the person is told to go find a dating site because we don't talk about that stuff here.

I don’t think that your initial statement that you didn’t want to talk about the topic of homoromanticism but wanted a boyfriend as well as your bitching about this thread was initiating a discussion about the topic of being gay and asexual on your own part in the slightest either and I am inclined to say practice what you preach and talk about what you want to see in this thread and shape it actively instead of continuing to only complain about it! That would be much more productive and constructive.

[bejjinks]

2 hours ago, Antihero. said:

From what I am observing he wants a dead serious on point discussion, strictly focussed on asexuality, with only asexual participants who never said anything off-topic (regardless of the intention of the thread and that it is called a bloody chat thread for homoromantic guys to chat without a strict subject to follow). 

 

I don’t think that your initial statement that you didn’t want to talk about the topic of homoromanticism but wanted a boyfriend as well as your bitching about this thread was initiating a discussion about the topic of being gay and asexual on your own part in the slightest either and I am inclined to say practice what you preach and talk about what you want to see in this thread and shape it actively instead of continuing to only complain about it! That would be much more productive and constructive.

First, no I'm not talking about a "dead serious on point discussion, strictly focussed on asexuality, with only asexual participants who never said anything off-topic". I'm only talking about something more serious and on point than the current thread is.

 

Second, If I said, "I want a cheesecake with blueberry topping." Would ya'll respond, "For that purpose a bakery would be more recommendable than this thread or AVEN as a whole."? Just because I say I want a homorantic asexual boyfriend does not mean I'm asking any of you to be that boyfriend. It means I want to be able to talk about my desire.

 

Besides, no one has yet offered me cake which I hear is an AVEN tradition.

 

I'm not a wolf on the prowl. Nearly all of you live too far away and I want someone local. I just want to be able to talk about the loneliness and the struggle of finding someone local and also the confusion of wanting a guy but not wanting sex.

[Antihero.]

1 hour ago, bejjinks said:

First, no I'm not talking about a "dead serious on point discussion, strictly focussed on asexuality, with only asexual participants who never said anything off-topic". I'm only talking about something more serious and on point than the current thread is.

 

Second, If I said, "I want a cheesecake with blueberry topping." Would ya'll respond, "For that purpose a bakery would be more recommendable than this thread or AVEN as a whole."? Just because I say I want a homorantic asexual boyfriend does not mean I'm asking any of you to be that boyfriend. It means I want to be able to talk about my desire.

 

Besides, no one has yet offered me cake which I hear is an AVEN tradition.

 

I'm not a wolf on the prowl. Nearly all of you live too far away and I want someone local. I just want to be able to talk about the loneliness and the struggle of finding someone local and also the confusion of wanting a guy but not wanting sex.

1. No one implied that you were a wolf on the prowl. Maybe reread how you have phrased your statement though because it clearly said that you didn’t want to have a conversation but wanted a boyfriend and that was it aside from well, you whining about this thread. It was not starting a discussion about your difficulties and struggles.
 To me expressing a serious desire like this also always goes hand in hand with setting this as a goal and with an intent to find inspiration or soluations to achieve this goal by the way. But maybe you are different and just like to express and talk about things like this for the sake of talking about them. Doesn’t make sense to me personally, never really has, but there are people who do this. 
2. If you want to talk about your feelings and struggles here, go ahead and talk about your feelings and struggles, who or what is keeping you from doing that?
3. What do any of those points you made now have to do with what I said about you constantly complaining about this thread, criticising it for not being focussed on what you personally want to discuss from the start while you are not taking the initiative and open any discussion or contribute anything that goes into that direction yourself either but are just repeatedly complaining about the others not discussing what you want to have discussed though?
4. If you randomly expressed that you wanted that cheesecake without context I’d just as randomly say ‘And I want a billion Euros.’ in return just for the record  

[I also don't follow any of AVEN's traditions in general and have never posted pictures of cakes to greet anyone, if anything I'd post a beer picture.  Some folks here actually do that cake thing though x'D] 

[bejjinks]

Quote

To me expressing a serious desire like this also always goes hand in hand with setting this as a goal and with an intent to find inspiration or soluations to achieve this goal by the way. But maybe you are different and just like to express and talk about things like this for the sake of talking about them. Doesn’t make sense to me personally, never really has, but there are people who do this. 

Yes, there are people who do this. Women.

 

Also, saying I'm displeased is a far cry from "constantly complaining". That again may be something I have in common with women. Men hear, "I feel sad" and think, "Oh, no, I'm in trouble again. She's nagging me to fix something."

[Antihero.]

9 minutes ago, bejjinks said:

Yes, there are people who do this. Women.

 

Also, saying I'm displeased is a far cry from "constantly complaining". That again may be something I have in common with women. Men hear, "I feel sad" and think, "Oh, no, I'm in trouble again. She's nagging me to fix something."

Well, I always struggled to understand women. That’s why my interactions with them are often incredibly full of misunderstandings because I just don’t get the way they think and they don’t get my way of thinking either. Being gay is actually a blessing for me if I was straight I’d be screwed  

[bejjinks]

12 minutes ago, Antihero. said:

Well, I always struggled to understand women. That’s why my interactions with them are often incredibly full of misunderstandings because I just don’t get the way they think and they don’t get my way of thinking either. Being gay is actually a blessing for me if I was straight I’d be screwed  

I get it. I just started a romantic trans thread and will leave you neanderthals to your chest beating without any further mention about emotions (gasp).

[Antihero.]

10 minutes ago, bejjinks said:

I get it. I just started a romantic trans thread and will leave you neanderthals to your chest beating without any further mention about emotions (gasp).

Neanderthals and chest beating?

Wow, that’s so edgy and extremely mature as well x’D

[bejjinks]

I meant it as a joke.

[Antihero.]

12 minutes ago, bejjinks said:

I meant it as a joke.

I see. Didn’t come across to me via text especially with the “(gasp)” at the end.

[bejjinks]

2 hours ago, Antihero. said:

I see. Didn’t come across to me via text especially with the “(gasp)” at the end.

The "gasp" was the most joking part. How many people do you know actually gasp in real life?

[J. van Deijck]

14 hours ago, bejjinks said:

No, I don't. Would  you help me read some of those previous threads so I can know what's been happening? Perhaps those threads were more gay sexual instead of gay asexual. Maybe if we figure out why they were locked (specifically) we could figure out what kind of discussion is possible without getting locked. Otherwise, there is no point in even having a thread called "Homoromantic guys chat".

maaaaan... are you always THAT serious? we are kidding and joking most of the time! that's why we get along so well

[Éadweard]

I’m really confused now. But that’s normal. Anyway, does anyone remember when Andrew Garfield made the statement that he could be a gay man just without the gay sex because he liked a lot of things about gay culture. Then all the gay people ripped him apart and said the ONLY thing that defines being gay is having sex with other men. 

[Antihero.]

8 hours ago, bejjinks said:

The "gasp" was the most joking part. How many people do you know actually gasp in real life?

I have seen people do it when annoyed and pissed.
Doesn’t matter though as your joke was more hilarious when I thought it was meant serious anyway and it made me laugh regardless because of that! Additionally, you didn’t seem like the joking type all throughout the rest of the conversation at all so…

[Antihero.]

5 hours ago, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ said:

I’m really confused now. But that’s normal. Anyway, does anyone remember when Andrew Garfield made the statement that he could be a gay man just without the gay sex because he liked a lot of things about gay culture. Then all the gay people ripped him apart and said the ONLY thing that defines being gay is having sex with other men. 

Haven’t heard that story and the name of the man doesn’t ring a bell (maybe I’d know who it was when I’d see the face) but I find it interesting that there are so many guys who are willingly reducing themselves like that. Statements like those are also not helpful when it comes to making society see gay relationships as equally serious, loving and valid as heterosexual ones though as what they do with saying that is just confirming old and negative stereotypes about gay men.

[J. van Deijck]

3 hours ago, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ said:

and said the ONLY thing that defines being gay is having sex with other men. 

but this is quite stupid, what about falling in love with men?

[Éadweard]

10 hours ago, Antihero. said:

Haven’t heard that story and the name of the man doesn’t ring a bell (maybe I’d know who it was when I’d see the face) but I find it interesting that there are so many guys who are willingly reducing themselves like that. Statements like those are also not helpful when it comes to making society see gay relationships as equally serious, loving and valid as heterosexual ones though as what they do with saying that is just confirming old and negative stereotypes about gay men.

 

Andrew Garfield Faces Backlash After Stating That He's Gay 'Without the Physical Act'

 

https://www.etonline.com/news/220956_andrew_garfield_faces_major_backlash_after_stating_that_he_gay_without_the_physical_act

 

[bejjinks]

9 hours ago, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ said:

 

Andrew Garfield Faces Backlash After Stating That He's Gay 'Without the Physical Act'

 

https://www.etonline.com/news/220956_andrew_garfield_faces_major_backlash_after_stating_that_he_gay_without_the_physical_act

 

But those guys aren't saying that you have to have the physical act to be gay. They are talking about how Andrew only knows a limited amount about what it means to be gay. Andrew probably never heard of Stonewall or Matthew Shephard or Harvey Milk or any of the other stories where gay people were tortured, murdered or otherwise harrassed. Andrew probably doesn't know how many kids were disowned and kicked out into the streets for being gay. Whoever said, "the ONLY thing that defines being gay is having sex with other men." is even more ignorant than Andrew Garfield.

[Éadweard]

36 minutes ago, bejjinks said:

But those guys aren't saying that you have to have the physical act to be gay. They are talking about how Andrew only knows a limited amount about what it means to be gay. Andrew probably never heard of Stonewall or Matthew Shephard or Harvey Milk or any of the other stories where gay people were tortured, murdered or otherwise harrassed. Andrew probably doesn't know how many kids were disowned and kicked out into the streets for being gay. Whoever said, "the ONLY thing that defines being gay is having sex with other men." is even more ignorant than Andrew Garfield.

This is only one of many articles that came out. Some did quote people saying it’s only having sex with other men that makes you gay. I only did this one because you didn’t know what I was talking about. But hey with your admitted limited knowledge of even knowing this happed we will all side with you and your assumptions that Andrew Garfield is an idiot who has absolutely no knowledge of anyone like Mathew Sheppard, Harvey Milk or Stonewall. 

[bejjinks]

27 minutes ago, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ said:

This is only one of many articles that came out. Some did quote people saying it’s only having sex with other men that makes you gay. I only did this one because you didn’t know what I was talking about. But hey with your admitted limited knowledge of even knowing this happed we will all side with you and your assumptions that Andrew Garfield is an idiot who has absolutely no knowledge of anyone like Mathew Sheppard, Harvey Milk or Stonewall. 

I did not say that I did not know who Andrew Garfield was. That was Antihero.

[Antihero.]

20 hours ago, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ said:

 

Andrew Garfield Faces Backlash After Stating That He's Gay 'Without the Physical Act'

 

https://www.etonline.com/news/220956_andrew_garfield_faces_major_backlash_after_stating_that_he_gay_without_the_physical_act

 

Thanks for the source I’ll read through it later.

[Antihero.]

.

[GeekyGamerZack]

Wow, it seems like I'm noticing guys a lot more frequently since realising I'm homoromantic a few months ago. Is that to be expected from someone who's essentially a newbie to the orientation?

 

Apologies if I've derailed a topic of discussion, I was just so eager to share my thoughts with other homoromantic guys who might get what I mean. 😅

[Éadweard]

You were probably always noticing guys but are now more aware of it because you know why 

[GeekyGamerZack]

That's probably it. Thanks! 🙂