Ringmaster04 Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 On 11/3/2019 at 4:12 PM, Asroco said: @Ringmaster04 Glad to hear you've found some groups! I've been trying to involve myself in community or school LGBTQ events, but although I feel accepted, I've always come away feeling unsatisfied. Plus there's not much available in an area that views an anti-impeachment MAGA party as an antithesis to Pride 🙄 (yes, this really happened). @blue_merlin I'm becoming more aligned with your point of view. Maybe the "gay" label does not fit me as well as I had thought -- it felt like a more accessible and less technical term for "homoromantic." Simply saying that I'm gay makes my romanticism feel separate from my asexuality, not a part of it. I don't think pigeonholing myself should matter all that much, either. "Anti-impeachment MAGA party as an antithesis to pride"... wow. Honestly, I'm sure there are some in my area that think that way also, they're just so outnumbered that they are ignored. There is certainly a lot of sex focus in the overall gay community that makes it more difficult to meet and identify with others, but I also think that perception becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Even if every guy I meet in the community is sexual, sex isn't their only interest and it's still possible to establish relationships with them. I'm even open to having a romantic partner that has free reign to have sex with any guy he wants. If both of our romantic wants and needs are met, I don't care if he meets his sexual needs elsewhere. Obviously, I'd much prefer a fellow homoromantic ace, but I'm an accountant so I'm unfortunately good with math and statistics and the odds aren't in my favor. I guess long story short, my approach is to cast as wide a net as possible without compromising my sense of who I am. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 (edited) I'm not sure I could have a romantic relationship with someone finding sex elsewhere. I'd want our relationship to be exclusive. Old-fashioned, I guess...or... maybe, just old. I think I could compromise, and engage in sex for the relationship. Spoiler He'd have to be, considerably, under-endowed, though. Edited November 7, 2019 by T-jacko'lantern 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Asroco Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Monogamy is pretty important to me. I wouldn't like the idea of knowing that the guy I'm dating is out there with someone else. I'd say I'm pretty old fashioned, too. I know that the concept of a soulmate is irrational, but romantic feelings aren't altogether rational either. I mean, people should go about building relationships rationally if they want one. But my connection should be deep enough to make me believe that the other person is the one, even if that may be statistically unlikely. Don't know if I'd be able to comprise on sex, either. The other person wouldn't enjoy it as much if I didn't want to participate. In fact, I feel like I'd have to dissociate from my own body just to make it through. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Like a Hurricane Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 I have been again terribly busy in these days. Although I have not commented anything here, it has been really refreshing to follow the discussions. 😊 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ukrguy Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Hello, kitties! Sending you some cuddles. Tomorrow an Indian guy comes to my home, he is gay. He has tried to turn me on like 3 times but couldn't succeed as my body just doesn't react to him kissing me or whatever lol so he just hugs me and we have some rubs (that turns him on a lot, I even feel guilty for this cause I can't change anything). And how are you doing, boys? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 Doing good. Going to a Filipino festival tommorow. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 @ukrguy, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Are you enjoying his attempts to turn you on? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ukrguy Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 On 11/8/2019 at 10:06 PM, Tja said: @ukrguy, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Are you enjoying his attempts to turn you on? yes, I enjoy them a lot. I even get a little erection. but it doesn't work further. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 1 hour ago, ukrguy said: yes, I enjoy them a lot. I even get a little erection. but it doesn't work further. Back when I was dating, (hooking up, tbh), I'd get erections while kissing, but, they'd disappear if things went further. It only added to my confusion over my sexuality. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 @Tja, TBH I get them when hugging which is why I avoid them. But erection is not a sign of anything. Hi btw. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 8 hours ago, Sir_The_Last said: But erection is not a sign of anything. Hi btw. Hello. Believe me, they were, definitely, a sign of something. Kissing, to me, has always been a intense turn on. So much more intimate, and fulfilling, than sex. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 9 minutes ago, Tja said: Hello. Believe me, they were, definitely, a sign of something. Kissing, to me, has always been a intense turn on. So much more intimate, and fulfilling, than sex. Umm I've never been kissed so I would not know. 😂 Touch me and I am aroused lol ... I am so sensitive ... OMG that reminds me of some guys that just make me freak... 😊 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 Random question... ? My first male crush was my best friend. I totally feel head over heels for him. He knew that I had a crush on him. Later on he thought that I wanted sex and I freaked out. He was my first and only experience as an adult. When was your first crush? How did it turn out ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ringmaster04 Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 29 minutes ago, Sir_The_Last said: Random question... ? My first male crush was my best friend. I totally feel head over heels for him. He knew that I had a crush on him. Later on he thought that I wanted sex and I freaked out. He was my first and only experience as an adult. While this is indeed random, I fail to see a question... Since we're sharing, any kind of cuddling, holding, kissing, etc arouses me as well. Certainly very sensitive to it. My best friend was the first person I came out to because I developed such a strong crush on him, but he's straight. Thankfully he's been the best ally anyone could ask for. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 @Ringmaster04, sorries I got ahead of myself. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 My first fantasy crush was on John-boy, from the Waltons television series. You're all too young to remember that show, probably. Irl, it was a friend, in high school. He got his girlfriend pregnant our junior/senior year(s). I was the child's godfather. Complicated. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 @Tja, I spent most of my teen years online. Well the 90s LOL So I do not remember said guy... LOL Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Like a Hurricane Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 3 hours ago, Tja said: You're all too young to remember that show, probably. I am not too young for anything. 😄 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Like a Hurricane Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 It is difficult to say who was the first one. When I was young my feelings towards certain guys were mainly bromantic. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 5 hours ago, Sir_The_Last said: @Tja, I spent most of my teen years online. Well the 90s LOL So I do not remember said guy... LOL The 90's were my 30's. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 45 minutes ago, Tja said: The 90's were my 30's. No worries. 😊 Blushes and giggles Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 I hope I'm not too late. Was out and about all weekend. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Muledeer Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 On 11/10/2019 at 7:25 PM, Sir_The_Last said: Random question... ? My first male crush was my best friend. I totally feel head over heels for him. He knew that I had a crush on him. Later on he thought that I wanted sex and I freaked out. He was my first and only experience as an adult. When was your first crush? How did it turn out ? My first male crush is still a best friend. I met him when I was 12 years old. In fact, he came to visit me just yesterday. There was never anything other than a lifelong friendship that came of it. He got married and has a family but we have remained in contact through the years. It's funny, but even though there is no physical attraction or any kind of a "crush" remaining, I still really look forward to our visits. We work well together. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neptune3 Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 (edited) My first crush was in middle school. We had assigned seating based on the alphabetical order of our last names, and he just so happened to sit directly behind me. He had the habit of slouching and resting his feet around the legs of my chair. I remember being able to see his shoes really close to my own legs/feet as I looked down at my books, and that would really get my heart racing. 😆 Not sure if he did it for any reason in particular. We would be paired up for group assignments occasionally and he was always very nice to me. Of course, I was too worried to say anything for fear of how he might react. Edited November 24, 2019 by blue_merlin typo 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 I honestly think I never had a serious crush for the past 3 years. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
slippydooz Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 Hm, I had some crushes in childhood that I didn't recognize as such until much later. I didn't know how to even be friends with them. The most recent crush I can remember was over 20 years ago now. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 Guess everyone here is busy 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ringmaster04 Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 Busy and maybe just unsure what to talk about. I've thought about posting here but had no idea what to say...though it was a busy week. Though I could use good date ideas. What to do, where to go? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 I'd recommend low traffic grey zones. It's for privacy and comfort reasons really. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tjp3 Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 Just gonna drop a hello!!! Wassup!!! How’s everyone’s day, week, month, year?! It’s nice to know we’re out there somewhere. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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