ColeHW34 Posted October 16, 2019 Share Posted October 16, 2019 I've been working on my plans for a solar powered greenhouse here and there. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 On 10/16/2019 at 5:33 PM, Member114264 said: I've been working on my plans for a solar powered greenhouse here and there. I thought all greenhouses were 'solar powered'? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 12 hours ago, T-jacko'lantern said: I thought all greenhouses were 'solar powered'? I'll be running fans and maybe a dehumidifier. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
YoDitto Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right part of the forum and I am a bit new to all of this. I have come to realise that, while I do not feel sexual attraction towards other men, I feel considerable romantic attraction. I thought it would be cool to join the conversation and meet others who feel the same way as asexuality isn't something you hear about often anyway, let alone homoromantic attractions with it and the like! On that note... hello! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 @YoDitto Welcome to the club I guess! How's life? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neptune3 Posted October 27, 2019 Share Posted October 27, 2019 Wow, an entire thread for guys like me. Although I feel as though I'm (too) late to the party.. Well.... hi. I've never met anyone like me, so seeing that you all indeed exist is pretty neat. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted October 27, 2019 Share Posted October 27, 2019 Welcome, @blue_merlin! Enjoy AVEN! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neptune3 Posted October 27, 2019 Share Posted October 27, 2019 4 minutes ago, T-jacko'lantern said: Welcome, @blue_merlin! Enjoy AVEN! Thanks. 😊 I've been looking around, and I think I will. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 Welcome @blue_merlin 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neptune3 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 4 hours ago, Member114264 said: Welcome @blue_merlin Thanks. It's so quiet in here though! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted October 30, 2019 Share Posted October 30, 2019 7 minutes ago, blue_merlin said: Thanks. It's so quiet in here though! Yeah it tends to be. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neptune3 Posted October 31, 2019 Share Posted October 31, 2019 That's too bad. I guess H.R. ace guys are a tiny sliver of the population around here? Or was there some sort of mass exodus or something? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted October 31, 2019 Share Posted October 31, 2019 1 minute ago, blue_merlin said: That's too bad. I guess H.R. ace guys are a tiny sliver of the population around here? Or was there some sort of mass exodus or something? Hard to tell. Most of them are busy or aren't interested in commenting. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Like a Hurricane Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 I am busy but still would like to briefly comment messages here. It is just so quiet that I find it difficult to say anything. 😳 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Slice of Ace Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 Hi! I still lurk here, by the way. I think the reason it's been quiet lately is because the conversation is either small talk or talking about how no one's talking about anything 😂 Nevertheless, it's still a nice place to have if any gay ace or questioning guys want to ask others questions 😊 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Asroco Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 Here's something I've been thinking about posting: Do any of you feel somewhat isolated within the wider LGBTQ+ community? I've explained to close friends that it often feels like I'm strattling between two worlds: the gay world and the ace world. I love watching mainstream or niche entertainment (RPDR, Queer Eye, Tales of the City, etc.) that addresses what it's like to be gay. It feels like the part of me that I can express openly because of the wider visibility and the decades-long establishment of that space. However, when the kinksters step out, or when a couple decides to go on PrEP, or when two people hookup at a bar, it reminds me of the importance of sex in that community. It reminds me that I cannot feel for other men the way these men feel for each other. While the gay community is my external life, I feel as though the ace community is my internal refuge. I wish only that there was more... presentation with being ace, and that my lack of sexuality wouldn't require as much explanation as being gay. But I understand that's why we're on this site, and I suppose I'm getting too impatient for my own good. I just hate being two steps away from the norm rather than just one. Anyway, I thought that my raving would be a good way to start a conversation 🤟 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 I still feel isolated regardless. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Slice of Ace Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 @Asroco, yeah I feel that way sometimes. It makes me nervous to go into gay spaces because of how sexual they can appear. It doesn't help that those inside and outside the community see the stereotype as well. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Asroco Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 (edited) @Slice of Ace I imagine that some allos don't enjoy those fetishistic qualities, either. But I suppose that's what happens when a minority becomes a commodity and audiences call it activism: People are not as genuinely represented as they want to be. Edit: I watched your conversation with Alex soon after posting and noticed you both touched on this same point. I think I've just been looking for visibility in the wrong places, so I'm taking a break. Thanks for your solidarity. Edited November 3, 2019 by Asroco 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 Yeah sterotypes don't help no one at all period. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ringmaster04 Posted November 3, 2019 Share Posted November 3, 2019 I've definitely felt isolated in some gay spaces like nightclubs and such where the environment is highly sexualized. (Went to the bathroom in a gay bar once...won't be going back anytime soon.) But lately I've focused on finding lgbt groups that specifically suit my interests. I joined an lgbt soccer club and it was the best decision I've made in a long time. We play pretty much year-round, everyone is super nice and inclusive and very accepting. Some have even gone out of their way to learn more about being ace so they could better understand me. Of course, meeting and dating cute guys was a large part of the motivation for me joining the club, and being ace still makes that more challenging, but in just a couple months I've made a number of new gay friends, gotten to spread the word a bit about asexuality, and found other gay spaces in my area I didn't know about. There's also a group focused on gaming that I'm looking forward to joining, but haven't been able to make it to their events yet. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neptune3 Posted November 3, 2019 Share Posted November 3, 2019 I don't feel as though I am a part of the gay community. There is just way too much of an emphasis on sex, hooking up, grindr, etc. Plus I don't really feel as though my "gayness" defines me. It's not a huge part of who I am. I haven't bothered trying to date anyone due to the expectation of sex. It's just not something that I'm willing to compromise on, so I figure, what's the point? I wish I could snap my fingers and have an ace boyfriend to cuddle with without having to jump through flaming hoops to find one. Haha. Oh well. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted November 3, 2019 Share Posted November 3, 2019 I had a GSA club back in high school and pretty sure there were homoromantics my age but I couldn't attend because I hardly had any time nor did I want to come out to my parents. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Asroco Posted November 3, 2019 Share Posted November 3, 2019 (edited) @Ringmaster04 Glad to hear you've found some groups! I've been trying to involve myself in community or school LGBTQ events, but although I feel accepted, I've always come away feeling unsatisfied. Plus there's not much available in an area that views an anti-impeachment MAGA party as an antithesis to Pride 🙄 (yes, this really happened). @blue_merlin I'm becoming more aligned with your point of view. Maybe the "gay" label does not fit me as well as I had thought -- it felt like a more accessible and less technical term for "homoromantic." Simply saying that I'm gay makes my romanticism feel separate from my asexuality, not a part of it. I don't think pigeonholing myself should matter all that much, either. Edited November 3, 2019 by Asroco 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neptune3 Posted November 3, 2019 Share Posted November 3, 2019 59 minutes ago, Asroco said: @Ringmaster04 Glad to hear you've found some groups! I've been trying to involve myself in community or school LGBTQ events, but although I feel accepted, I've always come away feeling unsatisfied. Plus there's not much available in an area that views an anti-impeachment MAGA party as an antithesis to Pride 🙄 (yes, this really happened). @blue_merlin I'm becoming more aligned with your point of view. Maybe the "gay" label does not fit me as well as I had thought -- it felt like a more accessible and less technical term for "homoromantic." Simply saying that I'm gay makes my romanticism feel separate from my asexuality, not a part of it. I don't think pigeonholing myself should matter all that much, either. I would think that it would be somewhat difficult even finding LGBTQ groups where you live. I'm close enough to NYC that there are lots of gay events/groups etc, but I don't really feel compelled to join said groups (although that might just simply be due to me being introvert). I have attempted to join online gay communities, but I was met with bewilderment and even ridicule for being ace. So that also soured me a bit when it comes to feeling as part of that community. What was it that made you feel unsatisfied when trying to participate in those events? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Asroco Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 1 hour ago, blue_merlin said: I was met with bewilderment and even ridicule for being ace. So that also soured me a bit when it comes to feeling as part of that community. Sorry to hear that happened to you. I've been hesitant to join those communities for fear of that alone. 2 hours ago, blue_merlin said: What was it that made you feel unsatisfied when trying to participate in those events? Well, the 21+ events for Pride week had those sexual elements that I'm not too eager about, and the family-friendly gatherings catered to only a few letters in the initialism. There also isn't a lot of organization or promotion within my university's LGBTQ group. But I think the main reason was that I had expected to find people who were gray-ace, and I found no luck. (I have since met one other individual on the spectrum and a friend of two people who were questioning, so I might suggest starting a small group when I see them next.) Trust me, I was surprised to find any LGBTQ presence where I live, let alone one that's been attracting thousands of people each year. Where I live, it's Mormon Promised Land meets Bible Belt. SLC is pretty far, and Vegas -- albeit closer -- goes completely counter to what I'm comfortable with, so there isn't much chance of me joining a meetup anytime soon 😕 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neptune3 Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 20 minutes ago, Asroco said: Sorry to hear that happened to you. I've been hesitant to join those communities for fear of that alone. Well, the 21+ events for Pride week had those sexual elements that I'm not too eager about, and the family-friendly gatherings catered to only a few letters in the initialism. There also isn't a lot of organization or promotion within my university's LGBTQ group. But I think the main reason was that I had expected to find people who were gray-ace, and I found no luck. (I have since met one other individual on the spectrum and a friend of two people who were questioning, so I might suggest starting a small group when I see them next.) Trust me, I was surprised to find any LGBTQ presence where I live, let alone one that's been attracting thousands of people each year. Where I live, it's Mormon Promised Land meets Bible Belt. SLC is pretty far, and Vegas -- albeit closer -- goes completely counter to what I'm comfortable with, so there isn't much chance of me joining a meetup anytime soon 😕 Thanks. But, eh, it didn't really affect me all that much on a personal level. I just don't feel the need to try it again. At least you found a couple of people though! Congrats. To me it just feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack. In that regard, I'm actually glad that I'm an introvert, so it's not eating away at me or anything, but still it would be nice to find someone. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 I'm more of an ambivert but instead of being in the city, I'm in the middle of nowhere. I personally avoid pride parades because of the sexual undertones and crowds too. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Asroco Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 @Member114264 Same. I lean more towards introversion, but I've been desiring social connections since I've moved down here months ago and haven't seen family as much. Kinda gave me the space to figure myself out, though. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 I'm still living with mine but I'm still working to live on my own. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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