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GeekyGamerZack

I'm in a relationship with an amazing guy, and lately I've been thinking about being with him more and more. Of course, reality being the tease it seems to be lately, I see more and more cute guys out in public every day, and some of them come across as being into guys as well.

 

Problem is I don't want any of THOSE peeps. I'm already in a relationship with a guy who I think about every single day, and the way we found each other was practically fate! Oh life, thou art quite the tormenter, but it ain't gonna work, bruh... 😏

 

(How did I go from sounding poetically Shakespeare-ish to talking like a 21st Century dude in the same sentence...? It truly does make one wonder how and why stuff like that, like, happens or whatevs. 🤔)

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GeekyGamerZack

A guy opposite me on the bus just

made sexually-obvious gestures on a bus pole

in front of his girlfriend. Maybe it's just me, but I'm starting to wonder if all allosexual guys in my age category have whole or partial sex-focussed mindsets... 😕

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Slice of Ace
54 minutes ago, ReverentCreature said:

Hi all, homoromantic greysexual here. 🙂

Hello!

I was trying to think of something more interesting to say, but I'm... not good at that 😝

 

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GeekyGamerZack
7 hours ago, ReverentCreature said:

Hi all, homoromantic greysexual here. 🙂

Welcome! 😊

CK_-_Lamington.jpg

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ReverentCreature
17 hours ago, Slice of Ace said:

Hello!

I was trying to think of something more interesting to say, but I'm... not good at that 😝

 

Haha it's fine. We have met in person before anyways!

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Slice of Ace
7 minutes ago, ReverentCreature said:

Haha it's fine. We have met in person before anyways!

Oh, you didn't look like a minion in person. I would have remembered that 😂 At the London meetup, right? 

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ReverentCreature

 

7 minutes ago, Slice of Ace said:

Oh, you didn't look like a minion in person. I would have remembered that 😂 At the London meetup, right? 

Yes that's right. It was a nice afternoon.

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GeekyGamerZack

Well, winter's afoot, which means it's once again time to fill out my wardrobe with new clothes. Here's what I generally wear in cooler weather:

 

▪Outerwear (either jacket or hoodie depending on temperature)

▪Long pants (sometimes cargo shorts if wearing a hoodie)

▪Gloves (usually if it's cold and/or rainy)

▪T-shirt (I'm not one for jumpers or long-sleeve tees, especially when wearing outerwear)

▪Shoes, socks and underwear

 

I've also contemplated the idea of wearing a scarf and/or beanie, so I might buy one or both this year.

 

Material-wise, I prefer jackets and gloves that are either crafted from leather or resemble it (I usually get my jackets in the latter style because leather outerwear is expensive here, not to mention the lack of variety in design and colour). However, I'd like to try wearing a jacket made from a more mundane material, along with a pair of leather gloves, as a way to diversify my look a little.

 

I'm actually starting to wonder if the whole leather-on-leather look either intimidates people (practically a given considering my height and build) or sends them the wrong message about my sexuality (or lack thereof). Then again, it's entirely possible that they mistake me for a vampire in that outfit, since I also have pale skin and red hair. (FUN FACT: I get squeamish at the sight of anyone else's blood, so I'd suck as a vampire...uh, excuse the pun. 😅)

 

I guess this is where I ask my obligatory advice-seeking question: Can anyone recommend a particular style of jacket and/or a good material that would match well with a pair of black leather gloves? Two things:

 

▪Denim jackets don't work on me. (All they do is make my stomach bulge more noticeable while making me feel more restricted than a zucchini bound in packing tape and coated in a hardened layer of bubblegum.)

 

▪Puffer jackets are out of the question. I have my reasons, which may or may not have to do with me feeling like a piñata filled with packing foam. (What is with all these weird analogies tonight? I think I need some sleep... 😴)

 

SIDENOTE: I spotted the first guy-in-a-leather-jacket (who wasn't riding a motorcycle) of the year in a shopping centre yesterday, and like every other moment I see a cute guy, my thoughts immediately turned to my Special One, and how much I'd like to see him... 🙁

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Slice of Ace
1 hour ago, GeekyGamerZack said:

Can anyone recommend a particular style of jacket and/or a good material that would match well with a pair of black leather gloves?

Nope, sorry 😝 My jacket and coat are purely functional, and I'm currently in a personal fashion crisis, myself.

Also, do you periodically buy a whole new set of clothes every year?!

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GeekyGamerZack
6 hours ago, Slice of Ace said:

Nope, sorry 😝 My jacket and coat are purely functional, and I'm currently in a personal fashion crisis, myself.

I know what you mean. Since figuring out my orientation, my thoughts have gotten increasingly toward style and fashion sense. It's borderline stereotypical, actually, and I don't usually agree with ANY stereotype, and for good reason. I mean, if I believed them, then I'd think of myself as a smelly, soulless ginger! 😕

 

6 hours ago, Slice of Ace said:

Also, do you periodically buy a whole new set of clothes every year?!

Not exactly. I add a little bit to it every year, usually when something needs replacing. I'd like to own two jackets, though, ideally with different styles and made of different materials.

 

I also haven't found a pair of gloves with which I'm completely happy. My current pair has cuffs that are a little too short, so if I flex my hands the wrong way I end up with a strip of wrist that's freezing while the rest of my arms and hands are toasty warm and dry.

 

Fortunately, that scenario only happens on really cold days in mid-winter, but when I move back to my old stomping grounds, where there are more consistently cold winter days...well, it's a good thing I prefer cold weather, isn't it? 😁

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Slice of Ace
7 hours ago, GeekyGamerZack said:

I know what you mean. Since figuring out my orientation, my thoughts have gotten increasingly toward style and fashion sense.

Haha, I know what you mean. I'm far more obsessed with my looks now than before I came out. I think it's because I know what I find attractive in other guys so I try to emulate that 😅

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2 hours ago, Slice of Ace said:

Haha, I know what you mean. I'm far more obsessed with my looks now than before I came out. I think it's because I know what I find attractive in other guys so I try to emulate that 😅

Also being out means you don't have to avoid being possibly being perceived as queer. I got more confident when deciding I don't want to hide being queer. This lead me to wanting to show the world myself.

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So I need some advice and I’m hoping someone here can help 🙂

 

If you like someone but you’re not sure what their orientation is, how do you find out? Do you ask them straight up or do you skirt around the subject fishing for clues?

 

Any advice or experiences you can share? 🙂

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Slice of Ace
On 3/31/2019 at 8:24 AM, TrippleL said:

If you like someone but you’re not sure what their orientation is, how do you find out? Do you ask them straight up or do you skirt around the subject fishing for clues?

 

Any advice or experiences you can share? 🙂

Oh no! I saw this message but completely forgot to respond, sorry 😝

 

Unfortunately, there isn't really any way to know unless they say outright, so asking is the safest bet. 

Apparently gay guys are more likely to hold prolonged eye contact with another guy, so having a staring contest is an option, albeit a terrifying one 😅 Also, if you are talking to said guy, you could probe with questions, see if you can get him to correct you on having or having had a girlfriend? I think there are some good YouTube videos about the topic, if you want me to refer you to them?

 

Sorry, I don't have any personal experience though. I've only met guys through LGBT+ meetups and dating sites.

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14 minutes ago, Slice of Ace said:

Oh no! I saw this message but completely forgot to respond, sorry 😝

 

Unfortunately, there isn't really any way to know unless they say outright, so asking is the safest bet. 

Apparently gay guys are more likely to hold prolonged eye contact with another guy, so having a staring contest is an option, albeit a terrifying one 😅 Also, if you are talking to said guy, you could probe with questions, see if you can get him to correct you on having or having had a girlfriend? I think there are some good YouTube videos about the topic, if you want me to refer you to them?

 

Sorry, I don't have any personal experience though. I've only met guys through LGBT+ meetups and dating sites.

Thank you! He does make quite a bit of eye contact... I’ll keep you posted 🙂

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Hello - I'm fairly certain that I'm a homoromantic asexual. I hope that it's okay if I post on this thread every now and again!

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5 minutes ago, GeekyGamerZack said:

@antheap Welcome! ☺️

Pavlova_dessert.JPG

Thank you - I didn't even know that pavlova cakes existed! My knowledge of cakes is, erm, not good.

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1 hour ago, Slice of Ace said:

Welcome, @antheap! 🍰

 

Thanks, Slice Of Ace! I’d also like to thank you for your brilliant YouTube channel, as it has been a source of comfort over the past few months. It was actually the first asexual-related content on YouTube that I could really relate to, so I probably wouldn’t be posting on this forum if it wasn’t for your channel!

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Slice of Ace
1 hour ago, antheap said:

 

Thanks, Slice Of Ace! I’d also like to thank you for your brilliant YouTube channel, as it has been a source of comfort over the past few months. It was actually the first asexual-related content on YouTube that I could really relate to, so I probably wouldn’t be posting on this forum if it wasn’t for your channel!

Aww, thanks! 😄 That's really nice to hear. I'm glad I could help!

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ReverentCreature

Talk about gay stuff and see how he reacts. You could mention an ex boyfriend or a prude event or TV show or something. How he responds will help identify his orientation. 

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GeekyGamerZack

I just remembered something. I signed up to an ace dating site months ago and haven't been there since joining, so I'd hate to think that anyone's tried to start something special. 😅

 

The ironic thing is that shortly after joining, I started communicating with my boyfriend, and it wasn't even through said dating service. It was right here on AVEN! 😁

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Slice of Ace
15 minutes ago, GeekyGamerZack said:

I just remembered something. I signed up to an ace dating site months ago and haven't been there since joining, so I'd hate to think that anyone's tried to start something special. 😅

 

The ironic thing is that shortly after joining, I started communicating with my boyfriend, and it wasn't even through said dating service. It was right here on AVEN! 😁

I've heard that a lot of people have more luck with AVEN than dedicated ace dating sites. Maybe because there are fewer hoops to jump through to actually talk to someone?

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GeekyGamerZack
9 hours ago, Slice of Ace said:

I've heard that a lot of people have more luck with AVEN than dedicated ace dating sites. Maybe because there are fewer hoops to jump through to actually talk to someone?

Most likely. Maybe there should be a "dating site" as a forum section on here, since it's a place where so many aces converse with one another. Then again, just chatting about yourself and your experiences with other members is enough to form connections with them. 😊

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7 hours ago, GeekyGamerZack said:

Most likely. Maybe there should be a "dating site" as a forum section on here, since it's a place where so many aces converse with one another. Then again, just chatting about yourself and your experiences with other members is enough to form connections with them. 😊

I’m pretty sure the “PM an AVEN member you’ve never PMd before” thread can be used to meet other aces, and may even be there for this very purpose even though “AVEN is not a dating site” *wink* *wink*

 

PS I’m on that thread but I’m genuinely just looking for friends, not dates 🙂

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chairdesklamp

I...bisexual is such a legacy definition, haha. 

 

I have fallen in love four four times in my life, two turned out to be because of illusions I had about the person. I have one very big and specific requirement. One thing that can make me fall in love with a person. Considering what it is, it's horrifying and appalling that it's so rare, but considering there's just this one thing, just one way, not entirely sure I'm wholly alloromantic. I do know that at this point, it would need to be another man, though, so there's that. I have a thread questioning if that's still alloromanticism, since I really just learned what sexual attraction truly is supposed to be last week, but I only got one reply, and the person was only able to tell me that desperately fearing being alone isn't hyperromanticism, but the rest, well, no one really seems to answer much of what I say. No one really even welcomed me (New this week). Almost makes me wonder why I'm still posting. 

 

To add to the fashion conversation if anyone bothers to read something I say, fashion is hard. I looked great in bellbottoms back when, before a gut and hair loss/migration, but I have no idea what to wear now. I just wear high-waisted dungarees and button-downs. My dad wore dungarees, polos, and pullovers in the winter (but I no longer live in a place with a winter), and yeah, I just dress like him. It's a better look than hanging-out belly and gym clothes five sizes to big or this new trend of ripped clothes that I remember us inner-city kids, the poorer ones being picked on back when, so it irks me, and skinny jeans only work for skinny people. I'm not sure what could look better, but I know guys with guts wearing trousers beneath the belly, and it just makes everything look so much worse.

 

I just wear my jackets open, but in Los Angeles, the point where it's not too hot to wear a jacket, open still works. It's not like we have blizzards or wind chill. 

 

Im sure I could be doing better, but I really just did gain a bunch of weight all at once after a really bad work accident. Even though I eat well (wasn't allowed to by abusive partner at the time, who wanted to fatten me up to have another thing to mock me about) and not the post-90s supersize portions but common-sense portions (for young Americans, dinner plates used to be and still are in much of the world, what you call a "salad plate" now. What you call a dinner plate now is actually a serving plate. This began in the '80s, the era that also gave us Big Mac and Big Gulp)

 

I eat well, and may end up walking 9km some days (albeit slowly, on a cane, but still) But it only half came off. Fashion is specifically against overweight people, and I didn't used to be overweight, and since I became so, I've been dressing one way, and it's a stab in the dark anyway. 

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Slice of Ace

Hi, @chairdesklamp and welcome to AVEN!!! 🍰

Sorry about the cold welcome you got on your original post. I did see it but I tend to only reply when I have something to say that I know for sure will be helpful which, in your case, I didn't 🙁 

1 hour ago, chairdesklamp said:

I have fallen in love four four times in my life, two turned out to be because of illusions I had about the person. I have one very big and specific requirement. One thing that can make me fall in love with a person. Considering what it is, it's horrifying and appalling that it's so rare, but considering there's just this one thing, just one way, not entirely sure I'm wholly alloromantic. I do know that at this point, it would need to be another man, though, so there's that. I have a thread questioning if that's still alloromanticism, since I really just learned what sexual attraction truly is supposed to be last week, but I only got one reply, and the person was only able to tell me that desperately fearing being alone isn't hyperromanticism, but the rest, well, no one really seems to answer much of what I say. No one really even welcomed me (New this week). Almost makes me wonder why I'm still posting. 

Hmm, I'm still not sure what to say. At its basest level, I would define romantic attraction as wanting to be in a relationship with someone. How that attraction manifests would be dependent on what one views as 'romance' and why they're attracted to someone. Whether that's the same as fearing not being alone, I'm not certain. Everyone falls in love for different reasons at the end of the day. The first time I fell in love, it was because a guy I liked touched me but I can hardly go around groping every cute guy I see to test whether it works again 😜

1 hour ago, chairdesklamp said:

Fashion is specifically against overweight people

Yeah, I agree. Fashion is designed for a very specific body type which is simply unrealistic for most people.

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