Lavinski92 Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Hello everyone! As you guys probably know by now, I'm quite confused at the moment. I hadn't heard about asexuality before the start of 2016, but something clicked for me but I'm still not sure because I'm 24 and have had sex with my partners before. I have thought a lot about it, and have talked with friends and family, but it still confuses me. As I've said to them, even though I have had sex, it has only been interesting like 5% of the time, and with the rest it was just something that needed to end at some point, because it was very boring. I litterally told a boyfriend that I was not attracted to him, and I didn't know why. At some point in our relationship I got angry and told him to stop touching me, and it was a very physical reaction I had, it was like my body said stop and not my mind. I think I might be demi, because with my last boyfriend I wanted to do these things with him, and it didn't bore me. I've seen porn, it disgusts me and I don't find it interesting at all. But I've had sex and it was fun? My parents told me that it could be a phase, and that it was normal for women to loose the want to sex the longer the periods of "no-sex" was. But I don't know... What do you guys think? I'm at a loss here. Link to post Share on other sites
LeDeer Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Being demisexual means you only feel sexual attraction after you've estabilished a strong bond with someone. I can't tell if it applies to you, since only you can know exactly what you feel and decide which label to use, if any, but from what you said I think you may be somewhere in the gray area: sometimes you feel sexual attraction and other times you don't (nothing wrong with it of course). Maybe this could help you figure out what fits you best http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/123256-asexuality-sexual-orientation-lexicon-read-me/?tab=comments#comment-1061345333 Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 Moved from Questions about Asexuality to The Grey Area. TheAP Questions about Asexuality co-mod Link to post Share on other sites
roland.o Posted September 15, 2017 Share Posted September 15, 2017 Hello and welcome to the AVEN forums, Lavinsky92. Have some cake :-) Eventually, it's up to you to decide which labels (if any) best describe your feelings. 5% sounds more like gray(a)sexual than "just a phase" to me. Demisexuality falls under the gray umbrella, yes. Those 5% of the time, and/or with your last boyfriend... did you desire it, or was it just nice/ok, but you wouldn't have missed it if it hadn't happened? The latter might be an indicator for a darker shade of gray. Link to post Share on other sites
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