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Gray-Sexual Musings and Rantings


Puck

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Sounds like an appropriate place for a small rant ^ ^’

 

I started reading the Asexual-Sexual Q&A thread, it’s been very interesting and useful so far, but at the same time it keeps giving me butterflies in my stomach. I think some of it is triggering because it reminds me of my issues every now and then 🙄 Not really looking for advice or anything because nothing can be done about the way things are. I just feel like writing about it, perhaps once again because I recall writing something similar not too long ago x)

 

Honestly, I find thinking of sex in general – not on my terms but how the majority of people view it – more distressing and unappealing rather than not. My reactions might change slightly depending on my mood, and maybe it’s because I’m thinking of it in an impersonal way… although I felt that incompatibility with the previous guy I was into, and I was very much attracted to him, so that’s not about attraction or how aroused I am at the moment. Even when I am very aroused, it doesn’t make me want things I generally wouldn’t want to even try, and I’ve had more than one person to consider that with.

 

I know I would miss some of the aspects if I was dating an asexual (especially if they were averse to anything sexual), but at the same time I’d feel relief. If I had a choice between a monogamous relationship with them or a sexual with whom I’d feel pressured, I’d choose the former, or neither, it depends. If they were closer to favourable, I might not even feel much of a lack, but I’m not sure.

 

I don’t have any of those bad feelings and am more open to trying new things with a partner who doesn’t find sex important but doesn’t dislike it, either. That would be ideal, and I don’t think anything else would work out. I might have to try but I’ve already fallen in and out of love so many times I’m reluctant to get into relationships that I suspect might fail because of this…

 

Well, at least now I think I have enough reasons to believe I’m surely greysexual.

 

Edit: I was reading an old thread and...

 

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Seems it just depends on how important the feeling of being outside the traditional experience is? I'm fine just being non-traditional sexual with a low libido. According to studies I have read I am only really compatible with about 20% of sexuals... could be lesss due to some preferences. So maybe 15%. So, I admit I am odd. Just doesn't bother me much. 

I need to get to those studies sometime but that doesn't sound as bad as I expected ^ ^' Not as bad as 1%...

 

And also:

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Again, ideal world, the foreplay would only occasionally lead to hand stuff or PIV, preferably hands.

Same but no PIV.

So I guess I'm very much like you, @Iam9man 😅

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13 hours ago, ModestFox said:

Same but no PIV.

So I guess I'm very much like you, @Iam9man 😅

No PIV is my preference too, just happy compromising occasionally when in a relationship 😊

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  • 3 months later...
whitetulips
On 10/4/2019 at 9:23 PM, songchick said:

I feel like gray describes the experience of “feeling urges but wanting them to go away.”  That is where I am now. 

I 100% relate to this.

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