Questions about Gray-Sexuality

[Sarah-Sylvia]

9 minutes ago, HKarcee said:

I would say yes to both of those questions. Up until I met my friend I would say I was more attracted to my favorite anime girl character. When I met my friend and we started playing games (we met online) that kinda of changed and I was more attracted to her. We started writing fan fiction and things like that and that’s when I got super attracted to her to the point we met up and had a good time. Now that I learned that she is ace and I can’t be with her romantically and we are just friends I went back to liking my anime girl the most again. I hope this makes sense.  Yeah I was just afraid because I didn’t want to offend anyone if I did use the term. I’m a super quiet and shy person. 

I don't think anyone would be 'offended', if you want a label for it. It's just that lots of people fantasize about fictional characters so it's usually not something people would label for unless it's a much bigger feeling than with real people. (in terms of orientation, not just current focus)

There's also the possibility to use a more complex term, like gray-fictosexual, or something like that, if you think your sexual or romantic feelings for real people isn't normal.
 

[HKarcee]

I will use the term gray fictosexual. I think that best fits the way I feel. I’m so happy that you helped me out with these complex feelings. Thank you so much! 

8 minutes ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

I don't think anyone would be 'offended', if you want a label for it. It's just that lots of people fantasize about fictional characters so it's usually not something people would label for unless it's a much bigger feeling than with real people. (in terms of orientation, not just current focus)

There's also the possibility to use a more complex term, like gray-fictosexual, or something like that, if you think your sexual or romantic feelings for real people isn't normal.
 

 

[michealaldrige]

On 9/2/2017 at 10:40 PM, Puck said:

Got any general questions about gray-sexuality? Post them here to get answers and discussion from the gray-sexual community!

i am very confused i like the idea of sex and i wish to have a normal relationship with sex but ive never really felt that way about someone and if i have thought about being intimate with someone my imagination never went beyond a make out session i think i might be graysexual or demisexual im just very lost because sex is something i think about almost daily but ive never met someone i really want to do it with does anyone have any advice or wisdom for me? id appriciate that a ton

Edited June 13, 2022 by michealaldrige
to ask for advice lol

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Hey @michealaldrige.
Do you think you could meet someone you'd feel like being sexual with?

But yeah that kind of experience is something that's possible to see in the graysexual area, or demisexuality if it would take to form a close bond after a while with someone.

[michealaldrige]

4 hours ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Hey @michealaldrige.
Do you think you could meet someone you'd feel like being sexual with?

But yeah that kind of experience is something that's possible to see in the graysexual area, or demisexuality if it would take to form a close bond after a while with someone.

hii @Sarah-Sylvia

i really dont know i want to meet someone like that and ofc i have a vision of my dream person in my head but everyone ive ever met that fits that expectation i have i just still wasnt attracted to in that way ive been told im picky bc of that but i dont think my standards are too terribly high i just want someone i get along with really well and laugh with about everything i think i could be demi but if i was i think i wouldve found someone im attracted to by now and i dont know if im graysexual either because again i think i wouldve been sexually attracted to someone by now i could be fully asexual or something but if i was would i want a sexual relationship this badly?

[Sarah-Sylvia]

18 minutes ago, michealaldrige said:

hii @Sarah-Sylvia

i really dont know i want to meet someone like that and ofc i have a vision of my dream person in my head but everyone ive ever met that fits that expectation i have i just still wasnt attracted to in that way ive been told im picky bc of that but i dont think my standards are too terribly high i just want someone i get along with really well and laugh with about everything i think i could be demi but if i was i think i wouldve found someone im attracted to by now and i dont know if im graysexual either because again i think i wouldve been sexually attracted to someone by now i could be fully asexual or something but if i was would i want a sexual relationship this badly?

Nothing wrong with being picky. And sometimes it is hard to find a person we match very well with. And if anything attraction can be overated, at least in terms of first impact or not, I think it's much better to get to know someone and just like them for who they are over time :).  Since you do have an interest in sexuality with the right person, I would wonder if you may have some sexuality, but of course only you can know that, with your feelings and all. Graysexuality can be diverse, though if you feel you'd be sexual with someone you've bonded with, then maybe you do have some hints about potentially being demisexual.

 

Demisexuality is about having known someone for a while and the knowing them more as well as being more bonded can stir more feelings (in other words the attraction comes later ias you come to like them, and over time). Though there are some who are romantic and can be attracted romantically even if not sexually until later. It does happen to be both demiromantic and demisexual though.

[michealaldrige]

2 hours ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Nothing wrong with being picky. And sometimes it is hard to find a person we match very well with. And if anything attraction can be overated, at least in terms of first impact or not, I think it's much better to get to know someone and just like them for who they are over time :).  Since you do have an interest in sexuality with the right person, I would wonder if you may have some sexuality, but of course only you can know that, with your feelings and all. Graysexuality can be diverse, though if you feel you'd be sexual with someone you've bonded with, then maybe you do have some hints about potentially being demisexual.

 

Demisexuality is about having known someone for a while and the knowing them more as well as being more bonded can stir more feelings (in other words the attraction comes later ias you come to like them, and over time). Though there are some who are romantic and can be attracted romantically even if not sexually until later. It does happen to be both demiromantic and demisexual though.

thank you a lot :)) i think i might look more into demisexual and demiromantic i appreciate  your help so much 

[Gold]

Hi  gray aces!

So, I'm currently questioning, because I do feel sexual attraction, but I recently noticed that it's pretty weird in my experience. And I just wanted to know if you've experienced something similar maybe.

Here're my experiences (TMI):

1. So, I don't feel sexual attraction towards ppl I don't know. I mean I can find them hot, but for me it basically equals wanting to get to know them. And then, maybe, have sex and all that. That's why for the longest time I identified as pan - gender not factoring in my attraction to ppl. What does factor in the attraction is the person's character. I don't have to know them long, necessarily, but I do have to like them as a person in order to feel something. And so the lines between platonic, romantic and sexual attractions are very blurred for me, since it's always about the personality.

I also never had any celebrity crushes.

2. I don't have a type. I mean, I do like certain types of appearance, but if I like the person, I'll find them attractive wether they fall into those types or not, I'll find something attractive about them regardless.

3. I think I have more sensual than sexual attraction. Touch is my love language. I like foreplay (like caressing, kissing, biting) a lot, but I can also just stop there. Not that I do not enjoy sex itself and orgazms, but I just don't need it that much, especially if I'm satisfied enough with cuddling and foreplay. More over (and this wasn't the case before, but its like that for the last half a year or so) I actually feel like sex itself is a lot of work, get easily tired from it and sometimes would actually just play a lil and then just cuddle.

4. I enjoy giving more than receiving. That's almost always the case: my partner's emotions overshadow physical sensations for me, and I often don't even need them to touch me, don't feel like receiving pleasure. I think I liked it more before, maybe since it was a new feeling for me.

5. I kinda like the concept of sex more than sex itself. I have toys I don't use and own just for the collection. I enjoy thinking about kinks that I would never try. when I fantasize, i think a lot about the kinks in concept, not about actual, down-to-earth sex.

6. I very rarely look at porn and prefer pornographic art way more. And even it is more like an inspiration for fantazies to me.

I always fantasize in third person and somewhat abstractly, rarely with defined characters. I almost never fantasize about myself or people I know. And I also fantasize in 2D (tho that may just be a weird feature of my mind).

7. What makes it hard to come to a conclusion are my past experiences of being extremely sexually active. Fantazies and how I feel about ppl in general haven't changed much throughout my life, but sexual experiences themselves... I'm not so sure.

 

So, yea, thanks to anyone who answers!

I know nobody can tell me if I fall ok the spectrum or not, but, I just really wanna have a discussion to maybe understand my feelings a little better.

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Hi @Gold

It's perfectly valid to not be physically attracted to others like that. It's not the majority, but there definitely are people like that, often more frequent in women than men but yeah I'd say say the majority can still get crushes or attraction without getting to know someone.

What you described can happen with sexual people even if different from the majority but as far as I know there's not really name for it. It's similar to demisexuality in that you don't experience primary attraction, but you have secondary attraction. Though for demisexuals it can sometimes take a very long time (like months or years) of knowing or building a bond with someone before they feel some sexual attraction.

 

Touch is my love language too.

I guess, for just how I view things, I also think that if someone finds sex not important for a relationship, that can be viewed as graysexual-ish to some degree. The real significant bit though is if someone doesn't really care about sex or they have trouble managing a sexual relationship, I think that's when the label is more useful, easier to know about and talk about it and find someone who's a better match, etc.

I think if someone likes and desires sex, it's more like the norm, while if not then it can be nice to explore the ace spectrum to understand more on it. 

I've changed myself through my life, and was more sexual for a while and then just realized it wasn't really important to me, and lost a lot of interest.. I feel sex is a lot of work too, as well xD

(and I identify as graysexual)

 

Some of the things you said like on enjoying giving more than receiving and all that, could fit with being sex favorable, while having some vibes that could match with someone on the ace spectrum (like graysexual). Can only say that, hard to say for sure ;p.

 

I think pansexuality is cool too :). it feels like.. unsuperficial, in a sense.

[Gold]

Hi @Sarah-Sylvia

Thanks a lot for your reply, it gave me a lot to think about! 

Also really glad to hear that someone has similar experiences to mine^^

What you said about losing interest definitely resonated with me, as it does feel like that! And while new relationships do bring the spark back a little, I feel like I did just kinda go "meh, why bother" at some point.

[slaaplikker]

I've lately been questioning my status on romantic and sexual attraction. I just broke up with my girlfriend a couple days ago, and (this is how it's always been for me) I quickly have another 'crush'. I usually describe these crushes as a passionate drive to want to become intimate with someone and become better friends (which is always the more important part to me). 

I rarely enjoyed kissing while in a relationship (maybe one in 20 I would feel fluttery, the rest felt gross and like a chore) and sex, while it could feel good a lot of the time, mostly just stressed me out (both before and during).

 

Now I'm wondering if that's just the normal way people experience romantic relationships, or whether I'm on the ace spectrum and don't want to pursue the romantic and sexual parts of a relationship. Whenever I get crushes the romantic part never really interests me, it's more emotional and physical intimacy.

 

Then again, I'm fresh out of my first relationship. It's possible that it was just in this relationship that I didn't want to pursue those aspects of the relationship?

Idk, I'm confused 😕

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Hi @slaaplikkerWelcome.

 

I'd say, at least to me, feeling that way about sex can be a hint for sure, fo being on the ace spectrum in some way. Besides the feeling good, do you ever feel a pull or desire to be sexual with someone, maybe that you feel close and good with? (or that you find attractive)

I'm trying to understand what you mean by the romantic part not interesting you, because to me emotional and physical intimacy is what I consider romantic. Feel free to share more on that.

 

[Follia]

Hi all!

 

I have been wondering about my gray-asexuality for some time now but never really looked into it. I saw in the definition that it could be "sexual attraction under specific circumstances" and I think that's what I have. I have been in different relationships by now and every time the same pattern happen: I have high sexual arousal during the first few months and then it turns off. But it doesn't seem to be like every sexual person, I don't think about sex anymore, I don't want to have any (even can an repulsed by it sometimes), and I avoid physical touches that could lead to sex. And my sexual drive doesn't come back (trust me, I've tried so many ways..). I just feel sexual attraction once or twice here and there, and sometimes not enough to engage in sex or I would stop it.

 

Could it fit under gray-ace even if I do have some high arousal/enjoyment of sex, at the very beginning of dating?

 

Thank you!! And sorry if I didn't see a reply like this before on the forum, I tried to look it up.

[Follia]

I forgot to add that I still have romantic feelings for my partner when I stop having attraction, and as someone said multiple times here, I like to engage in sensual stuff sometimes, but not engage in sex

[Sarah-Sylvia]

27 minutes ago, Follia said:

Hi all!

 

I have been wondering about my gray-asexuality for some time now but never really looked into it. I saw in the definition that it could be "sexual attraction under specific circumstances" and I think that's what I have. I have been in different relationships by now and every time the same pattern happen: I have high sexual arousal during the first few months and then it turns off. But it doesn't seem to be like every sexual person, I don't think about sex anymore, I don't want to have any (even can an repulsed by it sometimes), and I avoid physical touches that could lead to sex. And my sexual drive doesn't come back (trust me, I've tried so many ways..). I just feel sexual attraction once or twice here and there, and sometimes not enough to engage in sex or I would stop it.

 

Could it fit under gray-ace even if I do have some high arousal/enjoyment of sex, at the very beginning of dating?

 

Thank you!! And sorry if I didn't see a reply like this before on the forum, I tried to look it up.

I would personally see that as fitting graysexuality, yes. I can understand that kind of feeling too.

It's like the initial fresh phase is the only thing that keeps it interesting enough for a bit.

 

15 minutes ago, Follia said:

I forgot to add that I still have romantic feelings for my partner when I stop having attraction, and as someone said multiple times here, I like to engage in sensual stuff sometimes, but not engage in sex

right, so really just around sexuality, not the romantic.

[TongTong]

On 10/22/2017 at 11:55 PM, K.I.N.G said:

Wasn't sure if i should post this here or make a new thread.

 

*TMI warning*

 

Right well a friend and I had a debate recently about sexual attraction that's somewhat lead me to question my sexuality a bit more and wonder if I may actually be somewhere on the asexual scale. I've always considered myself a rather sexual person as I do find people/the idea of acts sexually attractive but when it comes to the idea of me actual engaging in a sexual act I just want to cringe. In a way it  maybe more to do with me  being rather germaphobic at times and hating being touched unless its through a layer of clothing - cent even stand a hug unless I've got long sleeves on.

 

There is also the thing that as much as I find people sexually attractive I wouldn't/can't fantasise/think of doing anything sexual with them. I do very occasionally fantasise about engaging in a sexual act but when it come to reality I just don't think I could unless I was maybe in the correct mood to do so.

 

Also If it makes any difference I'm bisexual so I'm more wondering if gray-bisexual would be more appropriate or if I'm rather normal and actually not as sexual as i see myself.

Yay, sometimes I doubt weather it is romantic or sexual attraction, I don't wanna have sex, but I feel warm whem I look at him, I just want to hug, stick with him and kiss him🥰

Then I will link this situation with sex immediately because film always have this scene lol and my feeling is, omg stop, that's dirty...

[RobbT]

I have a question about demisexuality.

CW - mention of sexual attraction/feelings

Spoiler

I understand that it means sexual attraction can occur when a strong emotional/romantic bond is formed with another person, but does it only refer to people in real life? Like, if you formed a relationship online with someone, and grew close over time, would that be enough to develop sexual attraction to them? Or if you spent a lot of time reading a series wherein you felt a close emotional bond to the main character (I know they're not a real person, but your brain doesn't necessarily differentiate spending time with real people and fictional people in terms of your comfort, like para-social relationships) could you then have sexual feelings if reading about them in a sexual scenario?

Sorry if this is a bit inappropriate sounding, I'm wondering about whether or not I may be demisexual.

[Sarah-Sylvia]

1 hour ago, RobbT said:

I have a question about demisexuality.

CW - mention of sexual attraction/feelings

  Hide contents

I understand that it means sexual attraction can occur when a strong emotional/romantic bond is formed with another person, but does it only refer to people in real life? Like, if you formed a relationship online with someone, and grew close over time, would that be enough to develop sexual attraction to them? Or if you spent a lot of time reading a series wherein you felt a close emotional bond to the main character (I know they're not a real person, but your brain doesn't necessarily differentiate spending time with real people and fictional people in terms of your comfort, like para-social relationships) could you then have sexual feelings if reading about them in a sexual scenario?

Sorry if this is a bit inappropriate sounding, I'm wondering about whether or not I may be demisexual.

Hi.

 

Attraction online (and online or long distance relationships) happen all the time, so yes of course that's possible. Someone met online counts as a real person. Some people don't feel as much if it's only long distance though.

 

Someone demisexual won't have sexual attraction to 'everyone' they form a bond with, just like someone (allo)sexual won't have attraction to everyone they meet.

 

I think the question on fictional characters is a tricky one. It wouldn't necessarily count or at least matter, if you're looking for someone on earth. Some people use the term fictosexual, and in that vein someone could say they're demi-fictosexual if they want, to specify it has to do with the fictional side of things. Just an idea on that.

 

Sexual scenarios... could be arousing, but unless someone has formed that longer-term bond where sexual attraction can come up, it probably wouldn't bring up a pull to do sexual things together. (for someone demisexual)

[Monobutt]

I currently identify as a Greysexual for simplicity sake (around my partner and most people i just say Asexual) but im not 100% certain on the label as I can date and do have a "drive" and have moments with my partner so to speak but I'm not interested in the whole idea sex with just anybody. Am I greyace? Am I just a sex-positive ace? Am I demi? I have no idea! 🙃

[Sarah-Sylvia]

51 minutes ago, Monobutt said:

I currently identify as a Greysexual for simplicity sake (around my partner and most people i just say Asexual) but im not 100% certain on the label as I can date and do have a "drive" and have moments with my partner so to speak but I'm not interested in the whole idea sex with just anybody. Am I greyace? Am I just a sex-positive ace? Am I demi? I have no idea! 🙃

Hi and welcome. I think it's normal for some people to need to know or trust someone a little more before considering sex. It's not part of orientation but it's a good thing to know about yourself!

Hope you feel free to share more thoughts

[MyKaylaaaa]

I have recently been very confused. A good friend directed me to this site to explore a little about the topic. 
 

So about me. I grew up abused, mentally, physically, sexually. This lead to an extreme desire and addiction to receiving attention. Eventually, I started to associate attention with sexual desire of me. I have been exploring this correlation in therapy within the last few months. I thought I was hyper-sexual until my therapist made me see why I was engaging in sexual activities. I based my self worth on if I was having sex with somebody or not. 
 

The reason I’m here: I’ve become very confused. In analyzing my situation, I’ve come to discover that I don’t enjoy sex. It’s been very rare that I have enjoyed it, and it’s only been indicative of a strong emotional connection. However, the only thing I do enjoy is the release, not the actual act. This has lead to me only engaging in masturbation, but even that feels like a chore. Release is more of a stress reliever than anything. I have come to the conclusion that I would prefer never having sex again, and I’m considering never engaging in masturbation again since it makes me cringe. 
 

I don’t know if this is a side effect of the trauma I experienced at a very young age, or if I do fall on the spectrum closer to asexuality or gray-sexuality (that’s a new term to me). Any advice that could be offered would be very appreciated. 
 

And thanks for this site! I will be discussing this all with my therapist today in fact, but I wanted to get the perspective of people who are on the scale towards asexuality. 

[NullSpace]

59 minutes ago, MyKaylaaaa said:

I don’t know if this is a side effect of the trauma I experienced at a very young age, or if I do fall on the spectrum closer to asexuality or gray-sexuality

Something important to understand is that these terms are more descriptive than prescriptive. As in, if you feel that the definition of asexuality describes your relationship with sex, then it doesn't really matter if it's something you were born with or the result of trauma. If you find understanding and validation in the community and identifying as asexual makes sense to you, then no one can tell you that you aren't.

 

That said, welcome to the community, and I hope you find the discussions here to be as helpful in figuring yourself out as many of us have.

[MyKaylaaaa]

22 hours ago, NullSpace said:

Something important to understand is that these terms are more descriptive than prescriptive. As in, if you feel that the definition of asexuality describes your relationship with sex, then it doesn't really matter if it's something you were born with or the result of trauma. If you find understanding and validation in the community and identifying as asexual makes sense to you, then no one can tell you that you aren't.

 

That said, welcome to the community, and I hope you find the discussions here to be as helpful in figuring yourself out as many of us have.

Thank you! My therapist was very helpful in that he told me I don’t have to decide in any given amount of time, if at all, and he’s encouraging me to continue exploring and researching. So far, I am identifying with aspects of it, but I would like to read more about it and figure out how I may feel. Thanks for being so welcoming. I feel as though these forums will be very beneficial. 

[MyKaylaaaa]

On 9/13/2022 at 11:13 AM, NullSpace said:

Something important to understand is that these terms are more descriptive than prescriptive. As in, if you feel that the definition of asexuality describes your relationship with sex, then it doesn't really matter if it's something you were born with or the result of trauma. If you find understanding and validation in the community and identifying as asexual makes sense to you, then no one can tell you that you aren't.

 

That said, welcome to the community, and I hope you find the discussions here to be as helpful in figuring yourself out as many of us have.

I also feel a need to point out that I’ve always felt sex was transactional. In other words, I’ve always felt I was paying for companionship with sex, even when the companionship wasn’t always great. I was starved for attention as a child, and that has lead to certain behaviors I haven’t been proud of. I’ve never felt sexual attraction, but I have seen people I’m attracted to aesthetically and thought maybe they were somebody I should get to know. I grew up thinking sex was just something I was supposed to do, and often felt coerced. 
 

I don’t feel a desire to find “the one” or even many. The thought of having somebody or anybody in my bed every night makes me cringe. I don’t want kids. I prefer dogs to people. 
 

All of this is new to me within the last few months. I’m trying to figure out where I land in the world of sexuality. I’m surprised this is occurring at the ripe old age of 32, but better late than never I suppose. 

[Booklvr]

This is all very new to me. I'm 53F and only just this year learned that asexuality is a thing. I think I'm gray-hetero, but not sure. I have experienced sexual attraction in the past, from time to time. My libido has always been extremely low. I was widowed a few years ago and now I have zero interest in sex. I can recognize when a man is attractive, but I never want to do anything about it. I'm actually, mostly repulsed by sex. That's why I didn't know anything about asexuality before. It wouldn't have been something I wanted to talk about or look up. So... I can feel sexual attraction from time to time... have no desire to act on it... do not miss sex at all. My late husband and I were very romantic together but not sexual for several years prior to his passing. I think he was demi-sexual. I'm a bit confused! Sorry for the lack of knowledge but hope this community can help enlighten me.

[Sarah-Sylvia]

28 minutes ago, Booklvr said:

This is all very new to me. I'm 53F and only just this year learned that asexuality is a thing. I think I'm gray-hetero, but not sure. I have experienced sexual attraction in the past, from time to time. My libido has always been extremely low. I was widowed a few years ago and now I have zero interest in sex. I can recognize when a man is attractive, but I never want to do anything about it. I'm actually, mostly repulsed by sex. That's why I didn't know anything about asexuality before. It wouldn't have been something I wanted to talk about or look up. So... I can feel sexual attraction from time to time... have no desire to act on it... do not miss sex at all. My late husband and I were very romantic together but not sexual for several years prior to his passing. I think he was demi-sexual. I'm a bit confused! Sorry for the lack of knowledge but hope this community can help enlighten me.

Hi and welcome to the site!

That you said seems pretty consistent with graysexuality. And someone might even say it can fit asexual (with a broader definition of it). I have low libido too though I don't consider it part of orientation. But I don't miss sexuality in any case.

 

Feel free to share more thoughts or ask questions

[deaks25]

I appear to have taken myself down a rabbit hole. I've only recently been becoming familiar with the concept of Gray-A and Demi, and I'm struggling to find where I may or may not fit because I seem to be land somewhere between the general definitions I can find, and all paths seem to lead back here. 

 

Demi feels like a very strong description of how I work; I'm very much about the emotional connection and everything I've read about Demisexuals sounds very accurate to me, but at the same time, the definition that is used by r/Greysexuality for example seems to describe me as well. 

 

Is it that Demi is a kind of Gray-A or am I actually floating somewhere in the middle?

 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

2 hours ago, deaks25 said:

I appear to have taken myself down a rabbit hole. I've only recently been becoming familiar with the concept of Gray-A and Demi, and I'm struggling to find where I may or may not fit because I seem to be land somewhere between the general definitions I can find, and all paths seem to lead back here. 

 

Demi feels like a very strong description of how I work; I'm very much about the emotional connection and everything I've read about Demisexuals sounds very accurate to me, but at the same time, the definition that is used by r/Greysexuality for example seems to describe me as well. 

 

Is it that Demi is a kind of Gray-A or am I actually floating somewhere in the middle?

 

Hi.

 

Graysexuality is a big umbrella that some people consider demisexuality to be part of. At its base graysexuality is having rare or weak sexual attraction/desire. On top of that you have a broader definition that includes harder 'conditions' for connecting with sexuality, and some people view demisexuality as part of that. Someone could have some of both somehow, yeah.

 

Feel free to share more about your feelings. Some people are less impacted by visuals and need to know the person or have an emotional connection to have attraction or be interested. It may be less common but can be a normal subset of sexuality. Demisexuality is for if someone needs a relatively strong bond or having known or be close for a long while, before feeling something along sexuality.

 

Not everyone fits definition, it's a broad spectrum, which some might fit in the sexual range, while some might fit in the ace and graysexual range, or some kind of mix.

 

[TokenStrife]

On 10/22/2017 at 10:55 AM, K.I.N.G said:

Right well a friend and I had a debate recently about sexual attraction that's somewhat lead me to question my sexuality a bit more and wonder if I may actually be somewhere on the asexual scale. I've always considered myself a rather sexual person as I do find people/the idea of acts sexually attractive but when it comes to the idea of me actual engaging in a sexual act I just want to cringe.

See, this is exactly what I've been feeling the last 4 or so years. I used to be a very hyper sexual person, or a "hoe" if you will, when I was in my late teens and early 20's. But the last 6-7 years or so, I dunno if my libido just dropped off or if I was becoming a form of asexual, which I'm now learning may be under the grey-sexual umbrella. I don't want to actually have sex with others, but I love enjoying things of a sexual nature solo, or even just some light sexting. I love adult art, porn, stories especially, and all the same things I was attracted to when I was still physical, I still am attracted to, but I have NO interest in doing it with another person. The idea fills me with dread and anxiety, and makes me cringe hard core. So maybe I've found a way to classify myself?

[livimaep]

Hi! I'm in my first semester of college and I'm just starting my first "real relationship" . We're both girls and I have grown up my whole life in a place that that is very stigmatized. I don't know if I'm just scared bc of that or if I could be grey (or demi?) because I don't feel that sexually attracted to her. I am romantically attracted to her but so far that hasn't really translated into sex. In general I don't really think about or want to have sex, but I grew up christian and I have always thought that that was normal, especially for girls. If anyone has advice or thoughts I would love to talk about it bc there are very few people in my life I can get advice about this. thanks loves!