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asexual since the start


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i dont understand how people cant know they are asexual. ive known since i was 3 years old. i came out at 11 to my mother. i was in kindergarten and i knew i didnt want sex.

my knowledge of who i am has always been very strong. people will ask me "how did you know what sex was at age of 3?" my answer is always "i knew what my body was and i knew i didnt want to put anything inside me and i knew i didnt want to do that to anyone else, i have always known any form of human contact made me uncomfortable and even annoyed. its a strong knowledge from my soul screaming out to me. its impossible to miss" im not scared of sex im just completely not okay with it happening to me..i can watch it happen to other people i just dont want to take part. theres not reason for me too. it is a useless task. 

i understand not everyone has an internal compass that allows them to identify themselves as easily as me, the complexity that sexual and non sexual identity is. Although for me the knowledge was so internal it was like my brain told me "ewww penis isnt for you". the most complex part of my asexual journey was finding out that people experience sexual attraction...because i never do and it blow my mind cause thats a whole emotional thing im missing out on and im kinda shocked that i didnt realsize that earlier. i kinda figured the girls were making up that they wanted to 'suck his dick' so i just went along lying as well. turns out they actually they weren't lying and im just not into sex like them.

 

honestly this was kinda just a lil rant cause im kinda in a pissy mood. 

 

let me know how you found out you were ace, and once you knew did you still question for years like i did????

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet

I found out I was ace officially when I was I was 21 years old. I did question it for a few months.

 

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i think ive always known i wasn't like other people but i never really thought much of it until fairly recently. I think the only reason i figured out i was different so early is because im aromantic too though even after i started identifying as ace/aro i questioned it for ages but deep down ive always known but just not known there was a name for it.

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I had a similar experience when I was 3. I asked my mother where babies came from (she was pregnant at the time) and the answer horrified me. I could feel my vagina sewing itself up as I imagined myself having sex. However, it never occurred to me until I was in my 20's that I could be ace. I had so many mental health/family issues going on that I chalked up my lack of sexual experience to not being attractive, being awkward, depression, etc. When I did start having sex, however infrequently, it took me a while to realize that I wasn't sexually attracted to the other person even though I sometimes enjoyed the actual sex (in spite of the other person). I did think about how I never felt present during sex and like I was just observing another person being sexual rather than actually having sex with that person myself. It wasn't until I read about other aces that it began to click, and even that took years.

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I discovered that I was ace when I was 25 last year. Questioned it on the relationship aspect mostly, but eventually embraced the fact that being ace is valid and whether you'll be in a relationship or not is okay and is not a primary necessity.

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Charlie Weasley
13 minutes ago, tarapayrach said:

I had a similar experience when I was 3. I asked my mother where babies came from (she was pregnant at the time) and the answer horrified me. I could feel my vagina sewing itself up as I imagined myself having sex. However, it never occurred to me until I was in my 20's that I could be ace. I had so many mental health/family issues going on that I chalked up my lack of sexual experience to not being attractive, being awkward, depression, etc. When I did start having sex, however infrequently, it took me a while to realize that I wasn't sexually attracted to the other person even though I sometimes enjoyed the actual sex (in spite of the other person). I did think about how I never felt present during sex and like I was just observing another person being sexual rather than actually having sex with that person myself. It wasn't until I read about other aces that it began to click, and even that took years.

How do you guys remember from when you were 3?

 

Also; do you have the profile pic because of that asexual episode?

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Charlie Weasley
1 minute ago, Charlie Weasley said:

I found out at 22

I  questioned it for about three months, as I thought sex was something my culture sees as the end of the rainbow, necessary and desired goal- (a small alcohol- flooded town)

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Karacoreable

I started thinking about it when my peers started experiencing sexual attraction in their teens, and I didn't. I've heard a lot of people say, and this goes for me too, that they thought discussions around relationships and attractions were because of peer pressure and societal pressures to want those things. And then people persist with it and you think oh dear, maybe they're genuinely feeling something I'm not...

 

Side note: asexuality is different to sex-averse. Sex averse doesn't mean you have a fear of it, and doesn't mean you're bothered by the thought of other people doing it, only averse when it comes to doing it yourself. Sex repulsion is stronger; I come down more on the side of sex-averse myself. You can have sex repulsed/averse aces, and aces who are absolutely fine with the idea of having sex and with actually having sex. Asexuality, broadly, is lack of sexual attraction, with many many nuances to that which can't be covered in a post, let alone a sentence. 

 

Note that I'm not trying to contradict your post, or say you didn't know you were ace. You know yourself best. :) And it's clearly something you've been thinking about for a long time. It's just to clarify a terminology thing, that I got confused with myself at first. Also that's just my current understanding, this post is partly so people can jump in and correct me if I'm wrong. :D

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2 hours ago, Charlie Weasley said:

How do you guys remember from when you were 3?

 

Also; do you have the profile pic because of that asexual episode?

I have vivid memories going back to 9 months of age. Everyone's different in that respect. And of course my Todd avatar is because he's ace :) What other canonical explicitly ace characters are there?

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Charlie Weasley

I remember that I peed on the nurse/ someone after my birth.

 

and jes this is all individual.

 

No, I have not seen the series jet unfortunately, as I have som much else to catch up on, series- wise. But I saw an info clip from YouTube on asexuality and they used an episode from the series as an example.

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  • 6 months later...
soakedinbleach

Ever since I remember (maybe from when I was 5 or 6) I was repulsed by the idea of having my own kids and wanted to adopt a few. It was obviously because I didn't find the idea of sex very appealing. Only recently have I found out about asexuality and it described me so perfectly. I was I think 13 when I found out about it and was really scared to tell anyone because I thought, oh well, maybe I'm just a late bloomer. I'm 16 now and nothing has changed and I don't think it will. I've came out to 4 people, one of them was really accepting, he supports me about this and really tries to educate himself about it. My best girl friend constantly tells me that we have to change that or that I just haven't found the right person yet. My other friend didn't believe me at first because I was in a relationship (which btw lasted 10 days, I guess I might be lith or something but idk, I wasn't even that much of in love with him). And my other friend just said she understands, she also shows a lot of support. I don't think I will soon come out to my family because whenever I tell my mum I don't want to marry or have children she tells me it's the main reason of our existence. I am perfectly fine with it, I am just pissed that few people said they would never date an asexual (not that I want them to date me, but it's just that there are so many other things you can do in relationship other than have sex so I am very mad at them). My best friend has a boyfriend and she jokingly said she was ace, but when she told him she was joking he said they would have to break up if she was... meh

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Imagine your mother is a cat. One day she has a discussion about catching, killing and eating mice. You just happen to be a calf, not a cat and think : "there's no way I'll ever put something like that into my mouth!". Oh well, at least mother ate grass occasionally. This was pretty much the situation when I was 10 years old and mother had one of those discussions about how babies got made. I took a firm vow to never have sex. I don't really know why - I just knew I didn't want it. I did assume it was emotionally gratifying and people really, really wanted to do it so this came as no surprise. However I grew up in a very materialistic country that worshiped competition and greed. I saw people routinely getting divorced, sometimes more than once. Therefore I never believed in "true" love. Why participate in something that doesn't actually exist? It might elsewhere but not where I lived. So I spent 3/4 of my life before I found there was a name for what I was. I'm a complete herbivore. Whatever. I've always known what I was whether it had a name or not.  So, moo to me and moo to you.

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39 minutes ago, Yeast said:

Imagine your mother is a cat. One day she has a discussion about catching, killing and eating mice. You just happen to be a calf, not a cat and think : "there's no way I'll ever put something like that into my mouth!". Oh well, at least mother ate grass occasionally. This was pretty much the situation when I was 10 years old and mother had one of those discussions about how babies got made. I took a firm vow to never have sex. I don't really know why - I just knew I didn't want it. I did assume it was emotionally gratifying and people really, really wanted to do it so this came as no surprise. However I grew up in a very materialistic country that worshiped competition and greed. I saw people routinely getting divorced, sometimes more than once. Therefore I never believed in "true" love. Why participate in something that doesn't actually exist? It might elsewhere but not where I lived. So I spent 3/4 of my life before I found there was a name for what I was. I'm a complete herbivore. Whatever. I've always known what I was whether it had a name or not.  So, moo to me and moo to you.

excellent analogy

fellow herbivore here

tenor.gif?itemid=4536854

moo to you as well

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