viennaguy94 Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 I am a cis hetero ace and I agree Link to post Share on other sites
OldSoul Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 I would agree. I find some that don't believe Aces should be part of the LGBTQA community, but those are mostly folks who don't support it. A is for asexual, and not for ally, and we all know it full and well. The same people who criticize them, criticize us. We aren't the normal 'male for female/female for male' when it comes to sexual attraction at least. Link to post Share on other sites
Was here Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 all i know is i'm sick of people judging each other over stupid shit. Link to post Share on other sites
Scottthespy Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Frankly I think romantic asexuals have it worse than aromantic ones...once out of our parent's houses, aromantic aces mostly just have to deal with people bugging them about getting a partner, which can easily enough be ignored and eye-rolled at, for the most part. Romantic aces have to deal with the confusion and often disappointment and hurt feelings of people they care deeply for. It's not the same trials as the rest of the LGBT community, but it's still a trial that needs supportive understanding people to talk to about. Link to post Share on other sites
EggplantWitch Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 I would never dream of saying the issues I face as a cis(ish) heteroromantic asexual are anything on the level of, say, a trans lesbian. But then again... neither are the issues a cis lesbian faces. Or a trans lesbian who has supportive family and lives in an open-minded area as opposed to a trans lesbian who doesn't. The only thing we all really have in common is that the issues we face are because we are not straight. We're all seen as abnormal in some way, and we're demonised for it in a multitude of ways. I don't think those who try to exclude us evil "cishet" aces from the community actually realise how we're treated by actual cishet people i.e. like we're freaks or psychopaths, that we have a medical disorder that has to be fixed, even that we deserve to be raped so we can be 'cured' of our affliction. As for romantic aces vs aromantic aces who has it worse: we both have issues, and this I say as someone who is aro-spec but still interested in dating. If you're aro, you have to put up with society telling you you have to be with someone else or you're sad and pathetic and your life will be lonely, but if you're romo you have to struggle with the fact that you feel like no one will love you enough to stay with you long-term because you're ace. Tl;dr can't we all just show a bit more kindness and empathy to each other good grief. Link to post Share on other sites
tarapayrach Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 I have been going back and forth on this for a long time and I always end up with the same question: does it ultimately matter if aces are categorized as LGBTQI(A) or excluded? The only benefit I can see (and I am just thinking out loud, not trying to be contentious because I really don't know how I feel) is having access to LGBTQI (leaving the A out for the rest of this post) spaces and perhaps exclusion from legal protections afforded to that community. I'm not sure we need access to queer spaces when we can make and have made our own, albeit they are right now few and far between and queer spaces do serve as refuges for those who haven't yet discovered their asexuality or asexual communities/spaces yet. Along the way, the queer community has added to its acronym to reflect the growing number of cross-sections it represents, and that happened as a consequence of both current members of the community accepting/inviting the new members in and the new members accepting that invitation. So while the LGBTQI community (assuming that asexuals/aromantics are not currently a recognized part of it) debates whether aces/aros belong, I constantly wonder if I, personally, want to belong or feel that I need to or should in some way. Again, this is personal to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Sleepy Skeleton Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Not cis or hetero but I agree. All aces are valid and should be welcome in the LGBT+ community. Cis hetero asexuals sometimes get flack on both sides... from allo/heterosexuals for not wanting sex and from non-cishet asexuals for being "basically straight." It's not right. We should support each other instead of competing in oppression olympics. Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 I'm not heteroromantic and not truly cis (rather gender-nonconforming), but I always dislike it very much when people say things like "cishet people have nothing in common with the LGBT community". Sorry, but for me it's obvious: if someone is asexual, zhe is BY DEFINITION not heterosexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Moonchaser Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I think cis hetero romantic aces do belong on a spectrum. I'm not here to diminish what problems anyone else experiences, but I have to say after being married a long time to someone who thinks of me as not normal in the intimacy department, anyone who thinks we don't have a problem hasn't really thought it through. That said, I'm not sure I identify as part of the LGBTQA grouping, and I wonder if that's just because I'm older and didn't know being ace was even a thing (just thought I was odd) for so long. So I'm a bit torn on this. BUT anyone who says we have no problems? Sorry, that doesn't wash. Most of our troubles may happen within a relationship, but geez, since when is that not a valid problem? Link to post Share on other sites
BinaryFission Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 Asexuality means no sexuality, and since it is different from what we are supposed to be (heterosexual is what is expected from all biological sex) we belong in the LGBT+ community. Lately I have been seeing people promoting another acronym called SAGA, and I think that will fit very well, especially for us aces and aros. Link to post Share on other sites
Mioav Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I don't belong in the LGBT community, in a way asexuals don't as a whole, LGBT is all about representation of non hetro sexualities, asexual is its own thing entirely and should stay as such. Link to post Share on other sites
Member4445 Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I'm a loaf of bread, do I count? Link to post Share on other sites
JessiBird Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I don't know whether or not we should be included, because there are good arguments to be our own thing. I just think that everyone who is not the gender/sexual/romantic norm all face issues, including cis hetero aces. Whoever feels like they belong to the LGBT+ community should. If other aces don't feel they belong, that's why there's aven and other places just for us. Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 4 hours ago, Mioav said: representation of non hetro sexualities And asexuality is obviously a non hetero sexuality... Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 I believe this is due to a lack of education and visibility about cisgender people and cisgender, heteroromantic asexuals' lives. Cisgender non-conforming people who grow up hearing people laugh and misgender them or assume that they must be a homosexual, due to their non-conforming ways of dress, behavior, etc., do not have the same experiences or lives as cisgender conforming people. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Reluctant_Dragon Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Even though I'm not cis and not heteroromantic/heterosexual, I still believe all kinds of asexuals/aromantics including, cis heteroromantic asexuals and cis heterosexual aromantics should be considered queer (if they like the label). Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 I think it's more about getting them to understand that we are still part of the community in our own way, and that we can help contribute. The LGBT+ community shouldn't turn down extra allies in the form of asexuals, who can understand them and their frustrations with sexuality as a whole. I'd take all the support I could get. Link to post Share on other sites
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