issues with hypoactive sexual desire disorder criteria

[vega57]

10 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

Yeah, it can end up there. But neither side gets a free pass when it comes to at least trying to find a solution, and it frequently seems that's what asexuals want.

What do you suggest as a "solution"? 

[JDP]

14 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

Yeah, it can end up there. But neither side gets a free pass when it comes to at least trying to find a solution, and it frequently seems that's what asexuals want.

If you had one for yourself with your spouse, you'd be offering it.

 

If your wife were paralyzed, should she just learn to walk? It's that simple, isn't it?

[Telecaster68]

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If you had one for yourself with your spouse, you'd be offering it.

I have no idea how that would work.

 

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If your wife were paralyzed, should she just learn to walk? It's that simple, isn't it?

Obviously not. The equivalent in that situation would be her taking to her bed and making no effort to be mobile or look after herself in any way, and that would create a problem too, for the same reason - a sense of being entitled to always have everything made as easy as possible, whatever the effect on her nearest and dearest.

[Telecaster68]

23 minutes ago, vega57 said:

What do you suggest as a "solution"? 

Since most cases of lost desire aren't asexuality, and the underlying causes are often susceptible to therapy or other treatments, try those. If they don't work, relationship counselling. If that doesn't work, seeing what would work sexually within the relationship without desire. Then at least considering opening up the relationship. If that's not a possibility, figuring out if the relationship is workable without anything sexual. Only when all those things have been exhausted do we get to shrugging and saying 'well, you can always leave'.

 

Showing an engaged effort to work with their partner, rather than just shrugging, in other words.