How to look less feminine (workouts, makeup, clothes, anything)

[-Lex-]

Story time: Over the last couple of years, I have grown to hate my female body.  I hated it so much and felt that I had so little control over my life that I developed anorexia nervosa and lost 70 pounds in a year trying to get rid of my boobs, butt, hips, stomach, etc...  And I've just now realized that it wasn't just wanting to be "pretty" like everyone said.  It wasn't vanity.  Part of it was I just didn't want to be such a woman anymore and that was the only way I could get my body to match up with my head.  Sure, there were other factors, but I think my possible agender-ness or whatever the heck is going on played a big part.  I was forced enter outpatient treatment, and it sucked.  They didn't teach me correct portion sizes, they just made me eat a ton so I'd gain weight.  So here I am, two years later, after gaining all 70 pounds back, hating my female body again.  I even grew out my pixie cut because I felt like I was too fat and womanly for it to match my body.  I feel powerless.  I feel wrong.  And I NEED to feel like myself again.  However, I know I cannot relapse.  I can't lose 70 pounds again, because this time, I'd probably end up in the hospital.  So I need help on figuring out how to make myself look less feminine without killing myself over it.

 

I'm overweight now, so I know losing a little weight is necessary.  Maybe 20 or 30 pounds.  I plan on buying a binder as soon as I get paid.  I'm cutting my hair off again back to a pixie cut.  I'm going to start shopping in the guy's department too.  But other than that, I don't really know what to do.  I don't really have the money to get a whole new wardrobe and when I gained all the weight back I (for some stupid reason) let my mom pick out new clothes for me, which are all womanly and frilly.  I would really like to know if anyone knows how to exercise in a way that would make me look less woman-ish.  Cause I've seen a billion pins on Pinterest on how to get a freaking bubble butt and bigger boobs.  Sigh.  So surely there's an opposite right?  And I've heard that you can contour your face in a certain way?  Or where to get affordable gender neutral clothes?  (I like edgy punky stuff but I can't afford Hot Topic.)  I don't know, but if you've got any tips, I'd really appreciate it!

 

UPDATE:  I cut my hair off!  Woohoo!  BUT I just remembered that my mom monitors my bank account, so I don't know how I would order a binder without her knowing...  Any ideas?  Also links would be great, I've tried looking up stuff but I can't find anything.  Also just clarifying that I don't want to be or look like a dude either, I just want to be neither.

[ReyGraves]

I've seen workouts from people on Youtube but I'm not sure on specifics. 

 

But with clothes try a thrift stores and other cheaper stores. I don't know where you're located but in the US I went to Value Village, TJ Maxx, Ross and Goodwill. 

[Yep, me]

I am uncomfortable in my 'male' body, but don't want a 'female' body, but a specific body that I would have to sacrifice much of my health for😭. Great, now I'll be uncomfortable in my body the rest of my life, Sigh.... At least I'm comfortable as myself personally.

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

Dexi's top 5 suggestion:

• no make up
• short hair cut
• masculine clothing
• breast binder
• FTM packers

[WaffleGrace]

Put your health first. If this is going to get you and keep you healthy, then I have recommendations below. A lot of them are just ways to make yourself appear more masculine. Since you said you're leaning towards more agender than masculine, take as much or as little as you need so that it suits you.

 

YouTube Drag King makeup (or male cosplay), not only do you get tutorials, you find out why you should do something one way or another. Just like Drag Queen makeup, it's not an everyday look, but you can take inspiration from what they do to modify your face subtly (thicker eyebrows, slightly different contour shape, different way to do eye's). If you're not receiving support at home, I'd recommend focusing on small changes at first. The power of a makeover works to help you self image, but making small changes allows you to get people used to how you want to look and make mistakes/ change your mind along the way (about what shape you want to use for your eyebrows, how strong you want your jaw to look).

 

Since you have a history of anorexia nervousa it's especially important that you consult your doctor before changing your diet and exercise. I'd recommend taking up cross fit, or one of those super hero workout routines (something designed to build bulky muscles in the shoulders, lower thighs, and abs) so that you're doing it in a safe controlled environment in a community that will respect how you want to proceed. If you're not ready to declare yourself agender-ish in public, or you live in a community that's small enough that it would be pointless to do so, there are behavioral cues you can project that people pick up on, but don't really notice (like speaking low and slow, minimizing extraneous movements when you talk, keeping your joints more rigid and your posture more slack). Until you get your breast band, I would recommend slouching, like you're reading on your phone but keeping your head mostly erect (that's the exaggerated form, which would give you a crick in your neck in under a minute). It minimizes the visual impact of any lumps between your arms and is perceived as lazy confidence. Make sure you make eye contact. Again, a very confident trait. When you're making changes, the last thing you need is someone criticizing them, if you start showing more confidence than usual than the petty people will think twice, and the people who care about you will support it. Once that thing shows up, start taking the superman pose whenever you can - same reason, but it also tricks you into being more confident and comfortable in a situation as well as the people around you. 

 

Regarding clothing, I'm not sure. But to masculinize a feminine frame, look for things that broaden the shoulders and lower the waist line (the natural waist of a woman is generally just under the rib cage, on a man it's just above the pelvis). Straight leg cut pants, with heavy fabric will probably be your best bet in regards to bottoms, it minimizes all curves from the waist-band down. I'd recommend wearing them with a jacket that hits somewhere below the butt.

 

I don't know why your situation called to me so strongly, but I hope everything works out.

[AceTherapist]

Woo! Yay for cutting your hair off! You shouldn't have to be a certain size for it to look good. Sounds so liberating!

[-Lex-]

1 hour ago, ReyGraves said:

I've seen workouts from people on Youtube but I'm not sure on specifics. 

 

But with clothes try a thrift stores and other cheaper stores. I don't know where you're located but in the US I went to Value Village, TJ Maxx, Ross and Goodwill. 

Oh yeah I LOVE Ross and TJ Maxx.

[-Lex-]

1 hour ago, WaffleGrace said:

Put your health first. If this is going to get you and keep you healthy, then I have recommendations below. A lot of them are just ways to make yourself appear more masculine. Since you said you're leaning towards more agender than masculine, take as much or as little as you need so that it suits you.

 

YouTube Drag King makeup (or male cosplay), not only do you get tutorials, you find out why you should do something one way or another. Just like Drag Queen makeup, it's not an everyday look, but you can take inspiration from what they do to modify your face subtly (thicker eyebrows, slightly different contour shape, different way to do eye's). If you're not receiving support at home, I'd recommend focusing on small changes at first. The power of a makeover works to help you self image, but making small changes allows you to get people used to how you want to look and make mistakes/ change your mind along the way (about what shape you want to use for your eyebrows, how strong you want your jaw to look).

 

Since you have a history of anorexia nervousa it's especially important that you consult your doctor before changing your diet and exercise. I'd recommend taking up cross fit, or one of those super hero workout routines (something designed to build bulky muscles in the shoulders, lower thighs, and abs) so that you're doing it in a safe controlled environment in a community that will respect how you want to proceed. If you're not ready to declare yourself agender-ish in public, or you live in a community that's small enough that it would be pointless to do so, there are behavioral cues you can project that people pick up on, but don't really notice (like speaking low and slow, minimizing extraneous movements when you talk, keeping your joints more rigid and your posture more slack). Until you get your breast band, I would recommend slouching, like you're reading on your phone but keeping your head mostly erect (that's the exaggerated form, which would give you a crick in your neck in under a minute). It minimizes the visual impact of any lumps between your arms and is perceived as lazy confidence. Make sure you make eye contact. Again, a very confident trait. When you're making changes, the last thing you need is someone criticizing them, if you start showing more confidence than usual than the petty people will think twice, and the people who care about you will support it. Once that thing shows up, start taking the superman pose whenever you can - same reason, but it also tricks you into being more confident and comfortable in a situation as well as the people around you. 

 

Regarding clothing, I'm not sure. But to masculinize a feminine frame, look for things that broaden the shoulders and lower the waist line (the natural waist of a woman is generally just under the rib cage, on a man it's just above the pelvis). Straight leg cut pants, with heavy fabric will probably be your best bet in regards to bottoms, it minimizes all curves from the waist-band down. I'd recommend wearing them with a jacket that hits somewhere below the butt.

 

I don't know why your situation called to me so strongly, but I hope everything works out.

Wow, lots of great advice!  Thanks.  Unfortunately, I've found that I can't tell my doctors about my anorexia because they won't take any of my other health problems seriously.  (AKA: "Just eat more, it's just your eating disorder.")  I know it's risky for an anorexic to diet without a nutritionist or doc but...  I'm hoping to keep it under control.  Thanks for the kind words.  

[Luftschlosseule]

I don't know what I have, some kind of atypical eating disorder, but in the process of eating healthy again I gained so much weight. Just want to say you're not alone in this.

I feel like I must have made a mistake and it's my fault, though I know on a rational level that it's not the case.

 

Clothing. I am an AFAB agender myself, so maybe some things I do may help you?
When looking for clothes, look for simple stuff - it's hard to find, so when you see a thing that appeals to you very much, think about buying two. Like, jeans without stones and shirt without frills and glittery stuff. If you want accessoires, stay simple, too. A leatherband as bracelet will do the trick without looking feminine.

If you like to wear scarves, look for a multipurpose cloth like this. You can wash it easily, can wear it as headband, scarf, beanie, on your wrist - and it keeps you warm without drawing the eye to it.

Don't mix colours. Either stay to one colour - for me, that's black - or wear colours that blend together will, mud tones, dark blues, maybe a little dark green and red in there. Bright coloured clothing is percieved as women's clothing.

 

But, most importantly: Wear clothing that you're comfortable in. If you're comfortable, you're more relaxed. You feel better and people are easier to meet with.

Experiment what you're most comfortable in. And if there's a day when you don't want to wear what you usually do, go with the flow if you want to.

Clothes are there to suit your needs, not to be controlled by.

 

[Busrider]

Workouts: Is boxing too expensive? - I'm not into sports but I watched that video and was impressed by somebody blonde popping up during the 2nd minute and looking probably as androgynous as possible.

Wardrobe: Start with the shoes, get a practical plain conservative "unisex" pair without sports allures.  A next step might be a thrift shop gem of an ordinary jacket - I mean the cut that comes as part of a suit. They usually have padded shoulders. 

[-Lex-]

8 hours ago, Luftschlosseule said:

I don't know what I have, some kind of atypical eating disorder, but in the process of eating healthy again I gained so much weight. Just want to say you're not alone in this.

I feel like I must have made a mistake and it's my fault, though I know on a rational level that it's not the case.

 

Clothing. I am an AFAB agender myself, so maybe some things I do may help you?
When looking for clothes, look for simple stuff - it's hard to find, so when you see a thing that appeals to you very much, think about buying two. Like, jeans without stones and shirt without frills and glittery stuff. If you want accessoires, stay simple, too. A leatherband as bracelet will do the trick without looking feminine.

If you like to wear scarves, look for a multipurpose cloth like this. You can wash it easily, can wear it as headband, scarf, beanie, on your wrist - and it keeps you warm without drawing the eye to it.

Don't mix colours. Either stay to one colour - for me, that's black - or wear colours that blend together will, mud tones, dark blues, maybe a little dark green and red in there. Bright coloured clothing is percieved as women's clothing.

 

But, most importantly: Wear clothing that you're comfortable in. If you're comfortable, you're more relaxed. You feel better and people are easier to meet with.

Experiment what you're most comfortable in. And if there's a day when you don't want to wear what you usually do, go with the flow if you want to.

Clothes are there to suit your needs, not to be controlled by.

 

Haha I actually LOVE black and scarves!  I hate wearing colors.  Thanks for the tips and kind words.  

[Alex Fitzpatrick]

I know exactly where you're coming from, and if you want workouts that specifically aim to decrease femininity, the FTM crowd is a great place to look. I'd say Ty Turner and Aydian Dowling would be a decent place to start. I'll link you a couple vids so you don't have to sift through their channels, but their other content is pretty solid, too. If you get a binder, I highly recommend GC2B. It's the best and safest for your money (definitely won out the form, function, and quality comparison when I was trying out binders). If you're going for a more masculine air rather than just "less feminine," I also recommend packing. You can get a packer for pretty cheap a lot of different places, or you can just use a rolled up sock or anything else you feel like. Packing comes with 2 effects, one of which I wasn't aware of 'til I started: you get the 'bulge' in your pants (this didn't really interest me much, I feel like most people aren't really looking), and you adopt a more "masculine" gait. This surprised me, though maybe it shouldn't have. But the presence of some kind of mass (regardless how small, even) will change your walk a bit. Which, if you want masculine mannerisms, it's a great way to pick up "The Swagger" (TM) and have it appear a bit more natural than just training yourself how to walk differently (going by feel and all that). Also, they make packers with "function," (stand-to-pee, pack 'n play, etc.) and if that at all interests you I can point you to some great products/companies. For clothing, I still have yet to figure out the pants situation, but if you want more neutral or masculine shirts, and want to do it for cheap, Six Dollar Shirts is pretty dope. And not absurdly low-quality (I was actually a bit surprised, my expectations were low, given the price point). There's also stores like Ross that sell name brands for cheap (for example, Fox Racing and Metal Mulisha shirts can be found for around 10 bucks). If button-ups, plaid/flannels, and things like that are your thing, you can get a lot of good stuff for pretty low cost at that kind of place. Same goes for thrift shopping, if you don't mind pre-owned stuff. On that note, button-ups are freaking great for looking less feminine. Even if you buy them in the women's/junior's (girls) section (some of the less fitted ones pass for relatively masculine, but have a more flattering cut if you don't like to "swim" in your shirts). Men's button-ups definitely do the job better, but sometimes the fit can make 'em look a bit sloppy.  

 

As for work outs, look into routines that focus on getting a "V Taper." It puts a lot of focus on the shoulders and upper back, and a lot of trans guys use it to sort of hide their hips (since developing this kind of body contour somewhat "buries" the contour of the hips a bit). Also do a lot with the core and legs, especially thighs. I'll link you some things to get started, but the internet is rife with options so you can google your way to what suits you best. Or, feel free to ask, 'cause there's more where this came from and I love to help where I can  (I also have a stockpile of assorted workout stuff that doesn't consist of youtube videos, so if you want some of that, feel free to ask)

 

Six Dollar Shirts: http://6dollarshirts.com/?gclid=CjwKCAjw2s_MBRA5EiwAmWIacxFPnvghQyNpXyP09IdIVwO18ixfyB1xNOFTXdY0e8Hzn4b87ccm6BoCk8IQAvD_BwE

Binders: https://www.gc2b.co/

Packers (NSFW): https://www.ftmessentials.com/collections/packers

 

First up: Aydian Dowling. First trans guy on the cover of Men's Health. He posts up a lot of workouts and also some dietary stuff (which helps if you're aiming specifically for a less feminine body). He's got more up, but here's just a few to get you started.

 

Next up: Ty Turner. His workout videos are a bit awkward (amusing commentary sometimes, though), but he's got some good routines

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrODBnGiyY0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5eY04HoNtk

 

And, lastly, this guy. Lays out a pretty good routine, makes sure to show good form. Good place to start.

 

[-Lex-]

Yes, exactly what I was looking for!  Thank you so much!

[-Lex-]

Also I have full access to an amazing gym at my university I just don't know which machine thingys to use!  Haha

[Luftschlosseule]

4 hours ago, AceAlexa said:

Also I have full access to an amazing gym at my university I just don't know which machine thingys to use!  Haha

There should be people to tell you what works how. Otherwise you might do exercises wrong and hurt yourself. Ask around! I am sure somebody there is able to help you.

[Elden]

I've found this helpful: http://ftmguide.rassaku.net/fitness3.htm

[ChickenPadSeeEew]

I feel agender a lot these days, although I still think I am more often a guy or a woman. I wear jeans and quirky/funny tees whenever I can; I present my personality and passions (Star Wars tees!) more than my body shape/features, if that makes sense! I only put on basic concealer and sometimes mascara, and I never wear jewellery. My hair is short (shoulder length). In my head, I'm either a shortish-haired woman or a longish-haired guy; it works for either... winning! But then again, I don’t have a lot of body dysphoria these days. I actually quite like my body and can regard it as agender, even when I'm staring at my curves. (I think I'm starting to separate out my sense of gender from my body; I've developed a non-gendered view of my body parts) 

 

Can't really help with exercise, as I jog only because I like it (although I do feel it's had a nice effect on my body: strong butt and thighs. 😄 I jog up hills. I'm a mountain goat!).

 

If you've developed anorexia in response to body and gender dysphoria, and received treatment for the anorexia but not ever spoken to a therapist about gender, I'd recommend seeing a gender therapist if you can. It might help you with the 'causes'. 

[-Lex-]

Okay, so with binding, I'm looking at gc2b.  Would you (anyone) recommend getting a tank binder or a half binder?  I have a pretty chubby stomach (that I also hate) so I'm worried a half binder would roll up like my sports bras do.  I would like the tank one but I'm worried about getting hot or it pressing too tight against my stomach (I have IBS and my psych meds make me sensitive to heat).

[AwkwardAxolotl]

1 hour ago, AceAlexa said:

Okay, so with binding, I'm looking at gc2b.  Would you (anyone) recommend getting a tank binder or a half binder?  I have a pretty chubby stomach (that I also hate) so I'm worried a half binder would roll up like my sports bras do.  I would like the tank one but I'm worried about getting hot or it pressing too tight against my stomach (I have IBS and my psych meds make me sensitive to heat).

I never had a tank binder, but I liked the half binder style. It kept me from being too hot, and I never had issues with it rolling up (the material in front was too stiff to roll up well).

[Starbogen]

4 hours ago, AceAlexa said:

Okay, so with binding, I'm looking at gc2b.  Would you (anyone) recommend getting a tank binder or a half binder?  I have a pretty chubby stomach (that I also hate) so I'm worried a half binder would roll up like my sports bras do.  I would like the tank one but I'm worried about getting hot or it pressing too tight against my stomach (I have IBS and my psych meds make me sensitive to heat).

I have a tank one and I had originally wanted the half binder but had to get the tank because the half one was sold out, and now I'm actually glad for that because that half one would probably seem a bit too much like a sports bra. The tank binder doesn't roll up annoyingly, at least that hasn't happened for me, and it doesn't feel tight because the compressing fabric is only at the top while the rest is very strechy. The only disadvantage I could see would be that your stomach might get more sweaty but in my experience (and I live in the tropics and wear a hoodie every day) even if it gets sweaty it never really feels uncomfortably hot. 

 

Also I see you've already gotten a lot of advice but I'd suggest wearing men's shorts and sweaters and button ups. They're great for hiding curves and making the body figure look more straight, flat and masculine. Wearing some sort of jacket or hoodie over this also helps a lot. For me getting a classic short male haircut did wonders, but I've noticed that most afab people say that what works best for them is a sort of androgynous shaggy haircut because depending on your face shape hair that's too short could actually bring out feminine features even more. So depending on what you look like that's something you could experiment with. As a general thing I'd say to not wear any makeup or jewelry or do things like pluck your eyebrows.

But anyway, a lot of these things I mentioned might not fit into your personal style or be what you want, so of course pick and choose from this what sounds good to you. 

[Guest]

9 hours ago, AceAlexa said:

Okay, so with binding, I'm looking at gc2b.  Would you (anyone) recommend getting a tank binder or a half binder?  I have a pretty chubby stomach (that I also hate) so I'm worried a half binder would roll up like my sports bras do.  I would like the tank one but I'm worried about getting hot or it pressing too tight against my stomach (I have IBS and my psych meds make me sensitive to heat).

I've got a tank one with side clips. I like the comfort of a tank top and yeah can shake hands for the chubby stomach thing too! As someone who also has IBS i can safely say they are very comfortable and don't press too tight in my experience. I'm not sure about the half binder because i've never tried it before. I highly reccomend not to wear your binder for too long and for you to stick to sports bra's as long as possible. Loose tshirst and sweaters also give you a great effect, if you have a large cup you can also wear tanktops over your sportsbra and go for a bigger size sweater/tshirt.

[-Lex-]

Okay so if anyone is curious, I emailed gc2b and asked what the transaction would show up as if I bought a binder because my mom monitors my bank account.  Response:

"Thanks for reaching out to us! 😄 Our transactions will appear as "GC2 LIK" and then a series of random numbers."

[FinneganOFay]

I've been dealing with a similar issue recently, and I think I've finally got a set of solutions that work for me. To start, I buzzed my hair, which made me feel so much better and is super easy to maintain at home. My exercise routing is mostly running and yoga with weights (including a lot of shoulder work), and sometimes just lifting. Since you're at a university, they usually have free personal trainers there, and I think they're usually trained in LGBTQIA+ issues. Would you be comfortable asking them for help getting a more masculine look?

 

As for clothing, I've been wearing men's undershirts in black and gray (4 pack from Amazon for about $13) with tight or doubled sports bras and running leggings for exercising. For casual wear, I swap out the leggings for slim jeans or bermuda shorts and add a baseball cap if I'm needing a little extra masculinity. Then I picked up a few men's short sleeve button ups (denim and flowers brand) from TJ Maxx. I think they were $12 each? I wear them with slim jeans, and I always pin the boob area to avoid gapping. For me they look sufficiently masculine without a binder just because of the cut, but when you have one that can help too. Finally, I picked up a faux leather jacket from Goodwill (I think $12) and ordered boys' black faux-leather brogues from Target ($30). That's basically my full uniform these days. Maybe it'll help?

 

Best of luck!

[FinneganOFay]

Also, for makeup, I'm too lazy to truly contour, but I use foundation, a bronzy blush mostly under my cheekbones, and I've discovered that feminine eyeliner tends to emphasize the upper lids while a more masculine look (a la Billie Joe Armstrong) is more even around the eyes or emphasizing the bottom lids. There's lots of great youtube videos demonstrating how to actually do great masculinizing contouring if you want to do it properly though.

[Tos]

The first step toward feeling more comfortable for me was definitely hair. I went and bought a set of Wahl clippers and combs off Amazon for like $20 and started cutting my own hair because the person who had been cutting it was a friend of my mom and reluctant to cut my hair as short as I wanted it. There was definitely a learning curve, but now I can cut my hair exactly like I want it (and I cut my siblings' and firends' hair, too). Hair is one of the first things people loo at when trying to determine someone's gender (especially kids), so a short cut does a lot. And don't worry about short hair "not suiting your face shape" or whatever BS people say, no one ever tells cis men to rethink cutting their hair short because it might not be the right look for them.

 

As far as clothes, most of what I wear is from a thrift shop or online. I exclusively own and wear sports bras. I have a binder but I don't wear it often, mostly because I it doesnt get me as flat as I'd like. I understand that that's pretty much impossible to do that healthily without actual surgery, but it's still a downer. I got it for free from a giveaway by a shop (there's a stain on it), so if you don't think you can buy a binder, check out trans support sites and such for similar opportunities for free binders! I own a lot of clothes designed for men, or at least not specifically designed for women, in order to avoid a feminine silhouette. Basically, I try to wear clothes that hide curves or turn them into into straight lines. Loose clothes are good for this, but not baggy ones. Lots of mens/unisex t-shirts, some button-downs, hoodies. Athletic shorts or cargo shorts, both loose and skinny jeans (I've been mistaken for a boy multiple times while wearing skinny jeans, so I've gotten less paranoid about them "giving me away"). I also buy shoes from the boys' section of Amazon because I have tiny feet so it's hard to find adult mens' sizes that fit me.

 

I also go to the gym for about 45 minutes three days a week. I alternate between arm, leg, and core workouts, aiming to work opposite muscle groups (biceps then triceps; abs then back; etc.). I probably should do more cardio than like 5 minutes of warm-up, but w/e. My main goal is to get stronger rather than anything specifically trans-related, but I definitely feel better about my body after a workout. It's less about aesthetics (though it is nice to see progress) and more about associating my body with capability, effectiveness, and strength rather than negative feelings and dysphoria.

 

Lastly, I try to keep my voice on the lower side. I don't force it, but I pay attention to keep it from unconsciously climbing to high. My voice is one point I personally wish I could change more dramatically, but there's not much more I can do about it.

[-Lex-]

Okay so like I've been checking out ALionsFears on youtube and he mentioned something about supplements a couple times.  Any recommendations on any supplements?  I don't know if it makes a difference but I'm on a few anti-depressants, an anti-psych, and a benzodiazepine.  I'd kind of like something to help lose some weight and build muscle to look less feminine, but I can't take or drink anything with much caffeine or anything that gives you energy because my heart likes to beat too fast randomly (meds plus eating disorder side effect).  Like I said earlier, my meds make me sweat less and overheat easily, so I don't know if that needs to be taken into consideration.  Yeah I know, I'm complicated haha... Anyways, pretty clueless about supplements and whatnot, but if anything would help...???

[nerdperson777]

On 8/18/2017 at 6:00 PM, Tos said:

The first step toward feeling more comfortable for me was definitely hair. I went and bought a set of Wahl clippers and combs off Amazon for like $20 and started cutting my own hair because the person who had been cutting it was a friend of my mom and reluctant to cut my hair as short as I wanted it. There was definitely a learning curve, but now I can cut my hair exactly like I want it (and I cut my siblings' and firends' hair, too). Hair is one of the first things people loo at when trying to determine someone's gender (especially kids), so a short cut does a lot. And don't worry about short hair "not suiting your face shape" or whatever BS people say, no one ever tells cis men to rethink cutting their hair short because it might not be the right look for them.

 

Lots of mens/unisex t-shirts, some button-downs, hoodies. Athletic shorts or cargo shorts, both loose and skinny jeans (I've been mistaken for a boy multiple times while wearing skinny jeans, so I've gotten less paranoid about them "giving me away"). I also buy shoes from the boys' section of Amazon because I have tiny feet so it's hard to find adult mens' sizes that fit me.

 

Lastly, I try to keep my voice on the lower side. I don't force it, but I pay attention to keep it from unconsciously climbing to high. My voice is one point I personally wish I could change more dramatically, but there's not much more I can do about it.

I literally cut my hair like two weeks ago and my parents were fussing over it because they think that I massacred my hair.  So far they're the only ones who even commented on my hair, so there's nothing that's really wrong with it.

 

T-shirts and exercise pants are basically my whole attire, when I'm not working.  Now I have some masculine clothes in my wardrobe so I just look more male.  My feet are in between boys' and men's sizing so I can't really find what I'm looking for most of the time.  Some people don't have the luxury of the low voice.  I have a friend who looks male enough, until they open their mouth.  Really high.  Life is going well for them now, including working at Google, which has good trans resources, but hesitating to go on T because family has a history of balding.  The school doctor said that balding doesn't seem to be an issue, but my friend didn't want to take any chances.

 

On 8/19/2017 at 11:55 AM, AceAlexa said:

Okay so like I've been checking out ALionsFears on youtube and he mentioned something about supplements a couple times.  Any recommendations on any supplements?  I don't know if it makes a difference but I'm on a few anti-depressants, an anti-psych, and a benzodiazepine.  I'd kind of like something to help lose some weight and build muscle to look less feminine, but I can't take or drink anything with much caffeine or anything that gives you energy because my heart likes to beat too fast randomly (meds plus eating disorder side effect).  Like I said earlier, my meds make me sweat less and overheat easily, so I don't know if that needs to be taken into consideration.  Yeah I know, I'm complicated haha... Anyways, pretty clueless about supplements and whatnot, but if anything would help...???

Oh yes, that's natural transition.  It's taking vitamins and supplements to "naturally" increase your testosterone levels.  I take a multivitamin, fish oil, and magnesium.  There are other things on the list like garlic, milk thistle, and stuff, but I didn't really think too much on it.  I started off with just the multivitamin, since I didn't know gender at the time.  Then a year or so later, I added the fish oil, and then eventually the magnesium.  The only difference I noticed out of it was that I had a little more body hair, and my existing hair got slightly darker.  And now with T, my hair is getting another shade darker, so I guess I just doubled my natural transition dosage.  I just have more body hair, slightly deeper voice, and a little more energy than with just natural transition.

 

I can only say that working out lats help reduce chest size, which seems to be the titles of those videos above.  As for binders, I'd say go for the half rather than full tank.  Unless you live in the snow, you'd probably overheat in the full tank.  Plus I find that it just bunches up at the hips.  I like my Underworks binder better for exercising so my gc2b binders are just lying in my room somewhere since I stopped wearing them.

[Calligraphette_Coe]

You might try Googling up "Male Like Me Norah Vincent" and read some of those pages that describe how she wrote her book "Self Made Man."

 

It's been so long since I've tried to pass as anything but an androgynous person, but one of the most poignant times is when I pulled a Julie Andrews a la Victor/Victoria and possibly had people thinking I was a woman trying to pass as a man.

[TheSilentScientist]

You're not alone in your story. I have struggled with eating disorders too in an effort to rid myself of a female body I despise. And while exercise can do a lot to help shape a genderless body, it really comes down to diet. Which can be tricky if you already struggle with disordered eating. This is what I've done to pull out of my disordered eating:

1. refrain from boxed food, buy fresh produce as much as possible.

2. prep all my meals beforehand to prevent binge eating on "junk" food.

3. keeping portions small but frequent. 

Best of luck!

And man I wish I had your courage to cut all my hair off. My parents will flip if I do.

[-Lex-]

I got my first binder!!  I'm really happy with it and what it does with my chest, but it makes my hips seem even bigger in comparison.  Got any advice on how to compensate for that?  Also when I sit down it kind of rolls up.  (I got a half binder.)  Is it that normal?