Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted December 25, 2017 Share Posted December 25, 2017 No because I'm not. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Semiterrestrial Scientist Posted December 26, 2017 Share Posted December 26, 2017 No but I like to look clean and composed for personal reasons 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 I like to dress up and look nice, so I'm usually quite flattered when people are attracted to me. (That said, back when I was perceived female, I really hated when straight guys started flirting with me. Most of them were so unsubtle that they creeped me out.) Clothed psychology is a big thing for me, so I'll feel like crap if I don't feel like I'm dressed properly for the occasion. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LadyPariah Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 I like people to think that I'm attractive, personally, and I also have issues with needing to feel attractive. I guess it helps with self-confidence, since I have no idea what I really look like. But I'm also demi, so that may play a role. There are times though, that I wish they made detachable unibrows or hideous moles so I could pop one on around certain people. I want people to admire me as a fine work of art, not so much sexually attractive because that makes me uncomfortable. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tos Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 i usually am pleased when people are attracted to me because a) i just find it nice and affirming since i spent so much of my teen years comparing my non-white self to conventional (white) beauty standards so it's nice to know that i'm alright as i am, b) as a nonbinary person with a very androgynous appearance, i get a kick out of people being attracted to me despite not being quite sure what my gender is/assuming i'm the wrong gender, c) it disproves the idiots that say people are only asexual because they aren't attractive. that being said i'm less pleased when cishet guys are attracted to me because i would much rather forget that cishet men exist and minimize interactions with them, thanks. i don't really think of it as being misleading or dishonest on my part because someone's attraction is their own responsibility. they're not entitiled to anything from the people they're attracted to. and it's not like i put extra effort into my appearance with the intent of attracting people anyways. if they stop being attracted to me for whatever reason, it's no big deal since i'm generally not interested in them in the first place. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 2 minutes ago, Tos said: , b) as a nonbinary person with a very androgynous appearance, i get a kick out of people being attracted to me despite not being quite sure what my gender is/assuming i'm the wrong gender, I'm not nonbinary, but this happens to me way too often ._. and only leaves me insecure. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
umbasa Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 I think it's on them and not on you if they see more than what there actually is. Seeking validation is a perfectly natural and human thing to pursue and shouldn't have to come with the baggage of them thinking you want more. I mean, in a perfect world people should respond only if the other person actually and clearly confirms they want something more. Unfortunately, the world of fiction (TV, film, etc) has taught society that outright confirming to each other about what we want is a "turn off" and so we should see any signs of interest as "wanting it." Life is not a romantic movie and people should not put us in an uncomfortable situation just because they mistake us finding them interesting to mean something more. Finding you interesting, wanting to impress you or even seek out a compliment from you can mean just that. And nothing more than that. There is the possibility for big change when it comes to the pursuit of increased visibility for asexuals, and that is it can teach society we should be moving towards clearly communicated language when it comes to human interactions and not easily misunderstood signs. Such a move would benefit ALL people, not just asexuals. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StormySky Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 I know they can't stop finding me attractive, but I really don't like it when people think I am attractive. I dress low key and don't usually wear makeup, so I won't have to reject as many people. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StormySky Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 10 minutes ago, umbasa said: There is the possibility for big change when it comes to the pursuit of increased visibility for asexuals, and that is it can teach society we should be moving towards clearly communicated language when it comes to human interactions and not easily misunderstood signs. Such a move would benefit ALL people, not just asexuals. Yes!!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 I care what I look like to myself. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 5 minutes ago, StormySky said: I know they can't stop finding me attractive, but I really don't like it when people think I am attractive. I dress low key and don't usually wear makeup, so I won't have to reject as many people. meh. I reject a lot of people >.< and it's quite tiring. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OpenAce Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 generally i just wear what i always do, and if i get genuinely complimented on it, that's nice, if not, i couldn't give a toss... As a general statement people seem more attracted to my personality than appearance, based on the people who have admitted to having crushes on me, and that works fine for me, though id rather not have anyone crushing on me at all... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Laplace Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 I’m really clueless so I don’t even have to worry about people finding me attractive or not 😅. I don’t think I’m super handsome, but I don’t think I’m ugly either 🤔. I like to feel relatively presentable but I’m not going out of my way to dress up or style my hair or anything unless I absolutely have to. I mainly just want to be hygienic. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tos Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 On 12/27/2017 at 5:03 PM, [noize:injekktion] said: I'm not nonbinary, but this happens to me way too often ._. and only leaves me insecure. yikes, sorry. being misgendered does suck. i've gotten used to it since i'm only out as nb to my friends, i guess, and in this particular context it sucks less for me since it often makes the misgenderer more confused/uncomfortable than me. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 41 minutes ago, Tos said: yikes, sorry. being misgendered does suck. i've gotten used to it since i'm only out as nb to my friends, i guess, and in this particular context it sucks less for me since it often makes the misgenderer more confused/uncomfortable than me. I guess it's even harder when you're nonbinary because so many people don't acknowledge anything besides male and female, right? ._. I'm a guy with binary gender identity, but I've heard comments about me that were like "omg you're the girl of my dreams!", mostly coming from straight guys. *rolls eyes* I wonder how do they feel once they realise they were 'complimenting' another guy Quote Link to post Share on other sites
arekathevampyre Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 nope because I will feel weird if anyone did . I look like 💩 tbh Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ashmedai Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 I don't often get called attractive, and consider myself rather average, so when it does happen, I'm either surprised or in some disbelief, or a combination of the two. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 3 minutes ago, Una Salus Victus said: I don't often get called attractive, and consider myself rather average, so when it does happen, I'm either surprised or in some disbelief, or a combination of the two. wait until you teach your hair how to play guitar. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tos Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 7 minutes ago, [noize:injekktion] said: I guess it's even harder when you're nonbinary because so many people don't acknowledge anything besides male and female, right? ._. I'm a guy with binary gender identity, but I've heard comments about me that were like "omg you're the girl of my dreams!", mostly coming from straight guys. *rolls eyes* I wonder how do they feel once they realise they were 'complimenting' another guy yeahhhh most people default to assuming one of the binary genders, both of which are wrong, lol. like i said, i'm used to it by now. that doesn't mean it's any worse for me than you though, misgendering is misgendering! i hope it shakes their entire worldview to bits, and makes them less likely to make stupid assumptions in the future. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Éadweard Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 Well I certainly don’t want people to find me ugly. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mirari Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 I'd be flattered, but otherwise it doesn't affect me all that much unless it's someone I'm crushing on. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Acegg Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 That's kind of a tricky question for me, because in short, I do want to be found attractive, but I'm worried that if a sexual person was attracted to me it would get weird 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OhDearyMe! Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 On 15/08/2017 at 3:51 AM, waitamin said: Sometimes I feel as though I lead people on. I like to look nice and like when people notice. Sometimes I try to look nice for certain people in particular. That's all normal human behavior, but seeing that I'm finding myself identifying as asexual (somewhere on this spectrum) it seems almost wrong. Feeling bad because if they are interested they won't be for long because of how I am. So I'm wondering if any one else has felt this way before? Or if you even care because you don't want to attract anyone anyways? Maybe I just want the validation... I personally like to know that I’m pretty in general but not for anyone in particular. I enjoy wearing certain things because it gives me confidence. Knowing that I’m not ugly and appealing to the eye makes it easier for me to be myself. Though my ego is very easily broken and when it is I face quite a few difficulties talking etc. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 18 hours ago, Tos said: i hope it shakes their entire worldview to bits, and makes them less likely to make stupid assumptions in the future. I guess this actually happens in some cases thankfully not everyone is like this. even if people have doubts, it doesn't hurt to ask, right? it's definitely better than making assumptions that might be entirely wrong. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tos Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 4 hours ago, [noize:injekktion] said: thankfully not everyone is like this. even if people have doubts, it doesn't hurt to ask, right? it's definitely better than making assumptions that might be entirely wrong. exactly! I love it when people ask because it indicates at least a modicum of concern. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Infrared Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 It’s kind of like being told I have nice shoes or something. It happens often but I just smile and say “thanks”. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Infernales Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 I feel flattered. But no not really. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JustanotherTobigirl Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 I want to be aesthetically attractive to people, but not sexually attractive to people. I know it's a little weird, and isn't something I can control, but, it's how I truly feel. I also want to be seen as stylish more than actually attractive. I want to be pretty, but not sexy. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CozyPosie Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 I enjoy the attention, but I like to look attractive for myself mainly. I don’t really care overall though. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
E Wildflower Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 I like to look nice for myself and I do feel validated when people tell me I look nice. I relate to your concern about leading people on, though. On one or two occasions, I've really liked hanging out with someone platonically, but not realized that they were romantically interested in me until they asked me point-blank "will you go out with me?" and I had to figure out how to tell them that I just wanted to be friends. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.