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Do you care if ppl find you attractive?


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I want to appear at least presentable just for the personal boost to morale. I don't need to be the most handsome person ever, just neat and tidy. If it has a positive impact on my social life, it's a bonus; people just naturally seem to interact more positively with "good-looking" people. Though, I'd be embarrassed if someone found me attractive. (•///• ) I'm normally really calm and collected, but compliments will immediately throw me off.

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I'm not too fussed really. I'm mostly happy with how I look, and nobody's run away screaming in horror at the sight of my face yet, so that's good enough for me :P

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If I look aesthetically attractive to people, great, although if they tell me so I find it hard to believe them. At school people used to give me fake compliments to make fun of me, so now I can't trust compliments at all. The idea of anyone finding me sexually attractive makes me very uncomfortable though.

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Elftober Country

I think it is more important for me to be satisfied with the way I look. 

It's always nice to be liked tho...:blush:

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Attractiveness is very subjective. As long as I like what I see in the mirror that's all that matters.

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@waitamin What does attractive really mean and why should you be leading on anybody? 

Flight attendants are cherry picked to look over average attractive. So what? Maybe their sights sells a ticket or makes somebody cope with TSA but what does it establish besides an additional bit of professional distance? 

Any emphasize you put into looking attractive only helps to initialize contacts. After exchanging a couple of sentences with somebody something else should override that trait. 

 

I'm male, lazy, happily single, if at all straight and not overly wealthy. While I am sure that even pickpockets want to live; I am not eager to attract them. So usually I am dressing quite modest. 

Recently I decided to hire a dermatologist for a minor bit of cosmetic surgery in my face, sooner or later. And I see hope that I managed to change my eating habits and might get back into a presentable shape. So yes I do thrive to improve my looks in some fields but I'm not sure why and what for exactly, it just seems a right thing to do. 

 

If you don't know what to do with your looks: Rent them out! Grab a career where they'll pay off, go home & hide online.

 

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Thanks everyone for the answers. It's interesting reading so many different opinions. I'm not the greatest at wording things so it's hard to get what I mean across sometimes. 

 

Some people mentioned how as long as they like what they see they're all good.  I feel the same way, as long as I find my face aesthetically pleasing for the day I'm okay. Some days I'm too lazy to care lol.  I might spend a bit more time on my hair or something if I know I'm going to see someone I find "attractive" but that's it. Definitely not one for flashy clothing or anything. But if someone shows interest my mind gets freaked out. I am interested in the romance side but nothing more, that's why I feel like I'm leading them on cause they would want the physical side too. 

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Yes, I like being considered attractive.

 

Does it happen? No idea. But nobody wants to walk around being thought of as unattractive.

 

Everybody should be considered attractive in their own way.

 

No only physically, but I would like to be seen as a good bloke. That matters to me.

 

I've met many people who would be considered physically attractive, but they're absolute arseholes.

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ChickenPadSeeEew

I think I was socialised to regard my looks, or what others thought of my looks, as = my self-worth. I am happy to report I have unlearned this!

 

I do put in a bit of effort, but it's all for me.

 

Everything I wear, how I do my hair, etc... I only think about if that's what I want to wear or how I want to look for me. It's only ever about making me feel like me. 

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Hermit Advocate

Any effort I put into my look is to make me feel good about myself, not for others. 

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I care a lot. I do want people to find me attractive, and I believe a lot of people do. I just like to be pretty and be surrounded by pretty things. It has absolutely nothing to do with sex.

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Lucas Monteiro

I do not care how I look or whether what I'm wearing will attract people or not, I dress to feel good about myself. Many women have already said that I am handsome, but I do not know what to feel about it, at the moment I feel ashamed and do not know what to say about. To give you an idea, it has happened that women stopped me at the mall and said how much they thought I was handsome, or even men say they thought I was attractive. But I don't care if people find me attractive or not, I know that what I feel about myself is more important in the end.

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I like being considered attractive, but I don't put a lot of effort into being considered so.

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Karacoreable

I don't care, because no amount of make-up is going to help me in that department, so then the only thing to do is not care.

 

I went on holiday with a couple of friends recently, and every morning after we got up I'd be ready to go and they'd be messing around for an extra quarter hour putting on make-up. First off I'm way too lazy for that, and secondly that time adds up over the course of your life! 15 minutes a day?! *Gets calculator*

 

That's nearly four whole days every year. And say you do that for 60 years of your life, well, that's way more than half a year. People do that cos they care if they're attractive or not. 

 

That's not intended as a criticism of putting on make-up, cos it can help people with self esteem and whatnot, it's just that's an awful lot of time. :( Mind you, I bet I've spent more than that on my iPod. :lol: 

 

And apparently I dress like I'm old. That's fine, means I'll grow into it.

 

 

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Dark General

I would say that I have mixed feelings about people finding me attractive. If a person compliments me on things like hairstyle, clothing, or style then it's nice and a little bit of a confidence boost because I like to look good and feel good about myself. On the other hand, if someone finds me sexually attractive, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

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Unless they're already a close friend, I'd rather they didn't.

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I don't want other people's opinions matter to me, but I want to be attractive to myself - I don't want to be unhappy with how I look. 

It's just that I have internalised society's expectations of me, so to be happy with myself I try to fit into society's ideas of attractiveness.

 

Perhaps it's a little sad but that's how it is for me, and there are things with my appearance I am unhappy with.

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I generally like to be seen as aesthetically attractive, but this probably has to do with an upbringing that emphasized not "looking sloppy" as a way to get a baseline level of respect, and how being extra put together can be a useful tool.

 

But yes, sometimes I have put in more effort to look better for a particular person or persons. Sometimes it's been for career reasons (important meeting/interview), other times it's been because I know the person is fashion conscious, and my pride doesn't want to look completely grummy in comparison. And at other times it's because I am romantically attracted to someone, and in the private romance movie that's playing in my head I just have to be wearing red lipstick. :)

 

With that said, my idea of being dressed up is pretty minimalist compared to most of my peers. A swipe of lipstick and clothes that fit well and maybe shiny oxford shoes are about as far as I go.

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I forgot to mention in my post here that being not being asexual may have a big influence on my feelings about this

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I just don;t like attention in general, so I usually don't try to look attractive to other people.  If you do want to look nice though, you shouldn't feel guilty about it.  Every has the right to dress however they want, and even the most revealing clothes wouldn't necessarily mean you anted sex.

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Janus the Fox

It don't make a difference to me when people find me attractive or sex and even sexually desirable by any male or female, every person will have different reactions and thoughts.

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I usually don't know how to react if someone notices I am attractive. I don't seek it out. I put no effort into it.

 

Any attraction I put into myself is my

physical health. I want to make sure I am physically healthy first before any attraction people might think or feel. 

 

I ride my bike, I run, I do yoga, and I eat healthy. All those things keep me healthy. If that means I am attractive, that is a bonus for someone's eyes.  I am not trying to please them -- only myself.

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I love when people tell me I look nice. It makes me feel more confident, happy, etc. But I am disgusted by the idea of somebody finding me sexualy attractive, especially people I don't know. It feels like they're thinking of me like an object to admire instead of  a person to meet. I always wear my unflattering purple jacket that I nonetheless love to combat the possibility.

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Lucy in the sky

If ''attractive'' is meant in a sexual way, then definitely not! I HATE that, because in extension it means objectification to me.

 

I like to be liked for my personality, not for outward appearance; however the irony is that I myself do care very much about how I look. :P

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If romantically, I'd be flattered.

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  • 4 months later...
J. van Deijck

it's nice to be considered aesthetically attractive. but I don't think I've ever wanted people to feel sexual attraction towards me. the very thought creeps me out.

however, there were both straight women and gay men who have shown some certain interest in me, and there were also straight men who say they would turn gay just for me. I'm not sure if I find it that enjoyable :D

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Yes and no. I like the thought of people finding me attractive but at the same time don't care much anymore. I like that no one flirts with me/asks me out so that's a bonus, although that's a benefit of having a male skin.

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I used to think that I didn't care if people found me attractive but my behaviour seems to think otherwise. I tend to dress well, but I think that's a product of me trying to fight against my looks, or rather lack thereof. I often think, that even though I don't think there is anything wrong with the way I look, my looks have caused my private life to have generally unfortunate results. 

 

I guess it feels like one of those "grass is always greener on the other side" things, because if I were really attractive I wonder if I'd be tired or less magnanimous with how I deal with it. 

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