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Things Asexuals hate to hear


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It's also really sad when people call you heartless, emotionless, unsympathetic, unloving, inhuman, or callous just cause you don't put romance and sex as some of your top priorities. šŸ˜£šŸ˜ž I've mentioned this in other threads but IĀ had a philosophy class in college, andĀ we were talking about what made someone/something (like a robot)Ā "human."Ā Many people considered romantic and sexual attraction one of the top things that something required to be considered "human." I didn't know about asexuality at the time, but man I was not pleased.Ā They clamped up real fast when I mentioned how there were definitely people who didn't feel those things and are definitely human (certainĀ people with brain injuries, developmentalĀ disorders, and I would've said aros andĀ aces if I knew about them at the time). šŸ˜ šŸ˜¤

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Hermit Advocate
On 8/11/2017 at 10:11 PM, Keakin said:

I am no longer his friend.

I'm glad you're no longer his friend. People like that are not real friends.

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knittinghistorian
On 8/11/2017 at 11:29 AM, paperflames said:

What's so bad about dying alone?

As every Browncoat knows, everybody dies alone.

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"I have no interest and will probably never watch Dr.Who, Sherlock or the BBT." judging from the irl one I know and a few on lj, FB and tumblr that is something aces also hate to hear apparently Ā (?)

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Forest Spirit
17 hours ago, knittinghistorian said:

As every Browncoat knows, everybody dies alone.

Wouldn't it be weird to die at the same time than someone next you? And I mean not in an accident or sth, just of old age or dunno. I think the comment about "you'll die alone" is just ignorant, because you don't know NOW when, how, where I'll die, if I'm going to live together with a closeĀ friend at that time, 100 cats,Ā my brother... you just can't know so shut up please!

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What I usually get:

"Asexual? Ā Your poor husband!"

"You're being unfair to your husband."

"You need to let him have some sex."

"It's just your meds. Ā Maybe you should try to stop taking them."

"He (my husband)Ā just doesn't know what he's doing. Ā You're both young. Ā He'll learn how to make you feel good. Ā Just keep trying."

"I get your asexual now but you probably won't be like this forever, you know, when you get a little older and less confused."

"Are you sure he's okay with this? Ā I justĀ don't understand how he could still love you if you always withheld sex. Ā He's probably just saying that to make you feel better."

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knittinghistorian
4 hours ago, Quasar.w said:

Wouldn't it be weird to die at the same time than someone next you? And I mean not in an accident or sth, just of old age or dunno. I think the comment about "you'll die alone" is just ignorant, because you don't know NOW when, how, where I'll die, if I'm going to live together with a closeĀ friend at that time, 100 cats,Ā my brother... you just can't know so shut up please!

I'm not sure you got the "Firefly" reference.

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InsomniacAnna

I haven't told many people I'm ace, but I've heard this a couple times, something like "oh, isn't it because of some hormonal imbalance?" or "oh, isn't it something in the brain, something about hormones..."

Ā 

It makes me feel like I'm sick or something, even though I know I'm not. I know they actually don't tryĀ to be hurtful, they just don't know what asexuality is, but it still hurts hearing that from friends. They thankfully drop the subject after I reply that no, that that's not how it works.Ā 

Ā 

And I think t hat some people think that because I'm ace, I'm very naĆÆve when it comes to sex stuff. And then they are surprised I actually know a lot about sex and kinky stuff and things like that. Like, I'm ace, but I'm not that naĆÆve.Ā 

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Hermit Advocate

"The "A" in LGBT+ stands for ally."Ā :mellow:

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On 8/4/2017 at 6:02 PM, Alarica said:

Running on from the "how can you be asexual if you haven't had sex" I hate it when people try to discount your sexuality because of their preconceived ideas of what asexuality means.

I've had people say "But I thought you were asexual" and "You can't be asexual"..... after I kissed someone.

ugh... there's nothing i hate more than a person who makes assumptions based on what they THINK a sexual/romantic orientation means without any research.Ā 

Ā 

like seriouslyā€”the internet's a thing. use it.

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i am not 100% sure if i'm asexual yet, (started questioning a couple months ago, in April) but people saying stuff like this is why i'm so stressed out about coming out. smdh.

Ā 

'you're too young to know stuff like that'. oh, so i have to be your age to know for sure if i identify as a certain sexuality?

Ā 

'you're just confused/you're going through a phase' (this is exactly what my parents thought about my depression, which hasĀ now been going on for three years and they have no idea). no. shut up. stop it.

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22 hours ago, AceAlexa said:

What I usually get:

"Asexual? Ā Your poor husband!"

"You're being unfair to your husband."

"You need to let him have some sex."

"It's just your meds. Ā Maybe you should try to stop taking them."

"He (my husband)Ā just doesn't know what he's doing. Ā You're both young. Ā He'll learn how to make you feel good. Ā Just keep trying."

"I get your asexual now but you probably won't be like this forever, you know, when you get a little older and less confused."

"Are you sure he's okay with this? Ā I justĀ don't understand how he could still love you if you always withheld sex. Ā He's probably just saying that to make you feel better."

oh HELL no. that's messed up. why are they trying to push you to do something you clearly are not interested in doing? what the heck?

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Forest Spirit
18 hours ago, knittinghistorian said:

I'm not sure you got the "Firefly" reference.

No but I didn't really reply to thatĀ quote, it was more about the "you're going to die alone"-comment you quoted before, sorry that IĀ didn't make it soĀ clear...

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1 hour ago, Hey you in the corner said:

"The "A" in LGBT+ stands for ally."Ā :mellow:

I reflexively went "No it isn't then I remembered what thread I was in... I spend too much time on the internet.

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J. van Deijck
On 05/08/2017 at 6:29 PM, StormySky said:

"You're missing hormones"Ā 

oh I've heard it, too.

Ā 

sure I am missing hormones, but I don't think it relates. we all know asexuality is not the same as low sex drive. <_<

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity

Most hatred / annoying repeated question when looking at someone else in public intensively due to aesthetic attraction: "Do you wanna bone him/her?" <_<

Ā 

Ā 

Spoiler

aces_wild___13___aesthetic_by_sallyvinte

Ā 

So very straight to the point. RL at its best.

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Ā 

Spoiler, interesting vocabulaire and etc

Ā 

"You're asexual??? I'll make you sexual!"Ā 



Ā 

*Insert brief explanation of previously watched porn movie here"Ā 

Ā 

"AND??? U getting horny already??"Ā 

Ā 

A co worker wanted to convert me >.>

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Hermit Advocate

"You're asexual? Pftt, whatever. You're too ugly for me to screw anyways."Ā Ā 

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4 hours ago, Hey you in the corner said:

"You're asexual? Pftt, whatever. You're too ugly for me to screw anyways."Ā Ā 

Life as an asexual guy in a nutshell: "Oh you don't date/you've never had sex? You must be ugly/have a small dick/have no life." Thankfully people tendedĀ not to mess around with me after middle school/part of high school. One of the perks of having aĀ reputation for being cynical and serious.

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On 8/14/2017 at 3:06 PM, AceAlexa said:

What I usually get:

"Asexual? Ā Your poor husband!"

"You're being unfair to your husband."

"You need to let him have some sex."

...

I already hate them all -__-Ā 

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On 8/15/2017 at 1:07 PM, tryingtokeepmyheadup said:

i am not 100% sure if i'm asexual yet, (started questioning a couple months ago, in April) but people saying stuff like this is why i'm so stressed out about coming out. smdh.

Ā 

'you're too young to know stuff like that'. oh, so i have to be your age to know for sure if i identify as a certain sexuality?

Ā 

'you're just confused/you're going through a phase' (this is exactly what my parents thought about my depression, which hasĀ now been going on for three years and they have no idea). no. shut up. stop it.

I've been sure since I was 12 that I wanted nothing to do with it. Much of these ignorant words came from my family and there were times where family reunions were taking place and all at the same time would be on top of me about this. Not just pressuring me, which I find completely messed up to pressure a 12 year old into liking that, but actually making jokes and bashing me for it. Psychologically they would torture me (not knowing the effect it had on me) saying obscene words and things about the subject that drove me to even have nightmares. I can't tell you how awful it felt to have all of them laughing at me and contributing. I felt so alienated, in a deep black hole, screaming inside. Sometimes I'd beg them to stop but they wouldn't. My grandfather was the only one who would demand them to stop, or come and find me outside and try to comfort me.Ā 

Ā 

Be strong and stand up for yourself always. I never stopped. I strongly confronted them and they respect me now. It was and still is a process, but much has changed. *hugs* You're not alone.šŸ’œ

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On 8/17/2017 at 0:06 PM, Jayce said:

Ā 

Spoiler, interesting vocabulaire and etc

Ā 

Ā 

Ā  Hide contents

"You're asexual??? I'll make you sexual!"Ā 

Ā 


Ā 

*Insert brief explanation of previously watched porn movie here"Ā 

Ā 

"AND??? U getting horny already??"Ā 

Ā 

A co worker wanted to convert me >.>

Ā 

Ā 

Harassment Harassment Harassment

Never let them get away with it. Call them out for it. No different than offering "dick" to a lesbian or the other way around insistently.

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On 8/20/2017 at 7:45 PM, Keakin said:

I've been sure since I was 12 that I wanted nothing to do with it. Much of these ignorant words came from my family and there were times where family reunions were taking place and all at the same time would be on top of me about this. Not just pressuring me, which I find completely messed up to pressure a 12 year old into liking that, but actually making jokes and bashing me for it. Psychologically they would torture me (not knowing the effect it had on me) saying obscene words and things about the subject that drove me to even have nightmares. I can't tell you how awful it felt to have all of them laughing at me and contributing. I felt so alienated, in a deep black hole, screaming inside. Sometimes I'd beg them to stop but they wouldn't. My grandfather was the only one who would demand them to stop, or come and find me outside and try to comfort me.Ā 

Ā 

Be strong and stand up for yourself always. I never stopped. I strongly confronted them and they respect me now. It was and still is a process, but much has changed. *hugs* You're not alone.šŸ’œ

thank you so much :')) i'm so sorry you had to go through that. i'm always here for you and i'm glad to know that i'm not alone in this. i'm really happy to have found this website!

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2 hours ago, tryingtokeepmyheadup said:

thank you so much :')) i'm so sorry you had to go through that. i'm always here for you and i'm glad to know that i'm not alone in this. i'm really happy to have found this website!

ā¤ā¤ā¤ā¤

We're all here for each other.

"I'm really happy to have found this website!" AREN'T WE ALL!!! FREAKING YES!

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On 21/08/2017 at 2:45 AM, Keakin said:

I've been sure since I was 12 that I wanted nothing to do with it. Much of these ignorant words came from my family and there were times where family reunions were taking place and all at the same time would be on top of me about this. Not just pressuring me, which I find completely messed up to pressure a 12 year old into liking that, but actually making jokes and bashing me for it. Psychologically they would torture me (not knowing the effect it had on me) saying obscene words and things about the subject that drove me to even have nightmares. I can't tell you how awful it felt to have all of them laughing at me and contributing. I felt so alienated, in a deep black hole, screaming inside. Sometimes I'd beg them to stop but they wouldn't. My grandfather was the only one who would demand them to stop, or come and find me outside and try to comfort me.Ā 

Ā 

Be strong and stand up for yourself always. I never stopped. I strongly confronted them and they respect me now. It was and still is a process, but much has changed. *hugs* You're not alone.šŸ’œ

Your family seems to me to be very ignorant and very wrong in what they did to you, because who puts this kind of pressure on a 12-year-old? After I say that society is totally turned to sexuality and that people are crazy about it, some people do not believe it, but here is an example. I went through something similar, not that it was as bad as, but I know what it feels like to feel at least some of this pressure.

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2 hours ago, Jaimes said:

Your family seems to me to be very ignorant and very wrong in what they did to you, because who puts this kind of pressure on a 12-year-old? After I say that society is totally turned to sexuality and that people are crazy about it, some people do not believe it, but here is an example. I went through something similar, not that it was as bad as, but I know what it feels like to feel at least some of this pressure.

Ignorant is the correct word. They're not bad, I love my family, but they really are ignorant, and that ignorance makes them do horrible things like this without being aware. Complicated xD. I very extremely agree with you that society has become so sexualized to a point where it's aggravating.Ā 

Thank you for your empathy and I return it :)ā¤

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time traveller jedi

"You can't be aroace because you've always liked boys"
A very dear friend of mine said this today after I told her I was aroace via snapchat (we don't see each other often, so I made a funny photo series and got this as a reply). PPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. I don't know what to do, but what I'd like to tell her is:

Did you ever think about how people who identify as something that isn't considered normal by our society would try to act normal, especially if a) they're introverts and b) they have no idea what's "wrong" with them???Ā <_<:blink:

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5 hours ago, time traveller jedi said:

Did you ever think about how people who identify as something that isn't considered normal by our society would try to act normal, especially if a) they're introverts and b) they have no idea what's "wrong" with them???Ā <_<:blink:

It's suffocating. You can't even react to things as you would normally do because god forbid you feel different than them about it! It's tiring to pretend all the time. It's not shame, you just don't wanna take their crap and explain yourself for the thousandth time and anyways, you don't need to explain yourself to anyone. Because we're a damn abomination and period, we can't exist. It's suffocating to live in such an aggressively sexualized and egocentric society. Try that.

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