MissMoth42 Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 I'm particularly fond of "You'll be a lonely cat lady when you're old" I mean, I'd actually quite like that. At least the cats would treat me better than you, and are much cuter to top it off 9 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Forest Spirit Posted February 3, 2018 Share Posted February 3, 2018 On Thursday, February 01, 2018 at 4:40 PM, umbasa said: That's a roundabout way to accuse you of being a psychopath, and yet more insulting than straight up calling you one. 23 hours ago, Nylocke said: Not for nothing, but if you have a "friend" that views you in that light then that's not a very good friend ... Its bad enough when you have family that comes off to you that way but their family so you deal with it. But if I had someone come off to me like that and legit say or insinuate that I'm heartless or some crap because I am asexual, more then likely I would cut them loose. Especially if they were a "close friend" who's supposed to know me well enough to know that I'm not like that. Like I said he didn't mean to offend me, I'm sure he didn't even think about the possibility that I could interpret his comment like that. It was a simple "you don't experience sexual attraction so as a logical conclusion you don't understand sexual relationships", which is true to some point, but that moment he simply forgot or ignored that there's much more to a commited relationship than feeling or not feeling sexual attraction. I know that he's still not that familiar with different types of attraction and relationships, but in my experience that's true for a lot of people. It was basically the most resent example of what I've come across over the years... Hope this makes sense, I'm not good at explaining. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Firefly8 Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 It's selfish to not want children. You just have to meet the right one. You need to meet more people. Your so innocent. to me: "Earmuffs!" (before they say something sexual) 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Keakin Posted February 4, 2018 Author Share Posted February 4, 2018 On 2/1/2018 at 10:52 AM, Fantastic Name said: Society's collective reaction to me not wanting kids: This is the best graphic explanation I've seen. 9 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit Advocate Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 "You're just a prude." 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
umbasa Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 On 03/02/2018 at 12:59 PM, Quasar.w said: Like I said he didn't mean to offend me, I'm sure he didn't even think about the possibility that I could interpret his comment like that. It was a simple "you don't experience sexual attraction so as a logical conclusion you don't understand sexual relationships", which is true to some point, but that moment he simply forgot or ignored that there's much more to a commited relationship than feeling or not feeling sexual attraction. I know that he's still not that familiar with different types of attraction and relationships, but in my experience that's true for a lot of people. It was basically the most resent example of what I've come across over the years... Hope this makes sense, I'm not good at explaining. Nah, I read further into it than I should have. Sorry. The psycho thing was thrown at me last week so it very likely played a part in my judgment of your friend there. I don't care for the condescending tone people have when I "express" (or don't express in this case) in a particular way that does not meet to their standards. I'm weird, people! Not a psycho. Get it right! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Forest Spirit Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 1 minute ago, umbasa said: Nah, I read further into it than I should have. Sorry. The psycho thing was thrown at me last week so it very likely played a part in my judgment of your friend there. I don't care for the condescending tone people have when I "express" (or don't express in this case) in a particular way that does not meet to their standards. I'm weird, people! Not a psycho. Get it right! No problem, that happens to me too sometimes! And I'm sorry that someone actually called you that.. people can be so quick to judge (and then throw their missinformed opinion at you) 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
umbasa Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 5 minutes ago, Quasar.w said: No problem, that happens to me too sometimes! And I'm sorry that someone actually called you that.. people can be so quick to judge (and then throw their missinformed opinion at you) Has happened throughout my life. Either that or I am autistic. Or in more recent times "a Sheldon." I mean, I could be on the autistic spectrum (or asperger) but I've never been tested. More importantly, even if it was true I have never felt it holding me back in my life so I don't really care for others to throw that in my face. And I certainly don't care for being labelled a fictional character. I'm me. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Keakin Posted February 8, 2018 Author Share Posted February 8, 2018 On 2/6/2018 at 4:31 PM, umbasa said: I'm me. ❤ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Shadow007 Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 On 1/28/2018 at 12:16 AM, Filmfan said: When I hear this about sex or having kids or whatever, I think, "Well, I've never slammed my hand in a car door or jumped out of an airplane or joined the Marines, but I'm pretty sure that I don't have to try those things to know that I wouldn't like doing them." I can attest for the car door slam - hurts like hell! (I had to have my thumb in a splint for two weeks.) But back to your point: yes, that is a stupid argument people give, since it can be applied to all sorts of other unsavory things that are usually accepted without pointless bickering. Sometimes I wish these people would just think before they make such comments, at least so we don't have to deal with their (un)intentional rude remarks about things they don't quite understand. Here's to hoping it gets better someday... I heard my mother say this one more recently, and though she clarified it to be in a more general sense (for anything I did), I was still initially offended due to the context of the conversation: "You'll get there when you're ready" (Not the exact words, but somewhat similar). 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sash(a) Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Someone told me, “Unless you’re some kind of scientific anomaly, your plumbing says differently” 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Duke Memphis Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 The only kind of scientific anomaly I have is the fact that I was born with only one kidney, and nobody asks me, "Well, how do you go pee?" Or anything, just because I've never had something that most people naturally have. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tyger Songbird Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 1 hour ago, Sash(a) said: Someone told me, “Unless you’re some kind of scientific anomaly, your plumbing says differently” I have heard that before. "You can't be asexual if you get erections". I mean, why not? Erections ≠ consent. Are we going to say male rape victims secretly wanted it or were asking to be raped since they were hard all the while? I mean, often I get erections when I'm way too nervous or anxious. I think the term is called "anxious arousal" or "fear boner", i believe. Sometimes your body and your mind do not agree with each other. And that's annoying for a guy to get an "unwanted erection". Let me tell you. Most of my erections have to do with being scared. Sexual things make me scared, because I have never done anything related to sex and don't want to do anything related to sex. I feel a terror where I want to black out just thinking about that. And the weird thing about that- I still get an erection! Probably due to tension. So, if I don't want to, why would I want an erection to happen? The plumbing is more out of control than anything. It doesn't have to do with sex. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tasha the demi squirrel Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 The most annoying things I've had are the typical "you just haven't met the right one yet" or "that will change when you're older" (even though 27 isn't that young lol) and when watching tv with my family I complained about sexual content as it makes me uncomfortable to which my mum said "I didn't like these scenes at your age" even though I know my mum doesn't mean to annoy me with these she just doesn't understand 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lucyrose_x Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 I can't believe some of the comments people have heard, so ignorant and some a bit creepy tbh! I haven't told anyone yet so I haven't had to face it myself, but I'd be seriously annoyed to hear some of things written here! It's no one else's business for a start. I did have a work colleague tell me I should start thinking about having kids..and how their friends had mostly already had a couple by my age. I couldn't quite believe it. Should that be my sole purpose in life? Is what I'm currently doing not good enough? Would they have said the same thing to a male my age? I was quite annoyed and didn't hide it! Don't reckon they'll bring that topic up again.. If and when I tell close family and friends I would hope they would be understanding, or at least accepting even if they don't quite understand. I get that not everyone knows what being asexual means and it's not very common. Random people I barely know I'm not too worried about what they think. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tyger Songbird Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 7 hours ago, lucyrose_x said: I can't believe some of the comments people have heard, so ignorant and some a bit creepy tbh! I haven't told anyone yet so I haven't had to face it myself, but I'd be seriously annoyed to hear some of things written here! It's no one else's business for a start. I did have a work colleague tell me I should start thinking about having kids..and how their friends had mostly already had a couple by my age. I couldn't quite believe it. Should that be my sole purpose in life? Is what I'm currently doing not good enough? Would they have said the same thing to a male my age? I was quite annoyed and didn't hide it! Don't reckon they'll bring that topic up again.. If and when I tell close family and friends I would hope they would be understanding, or at least accepting even if they don't quite understand. I get that not everyone knows what being asexual means and it's not very common. Random people I barely know I'm not too worried about what they think. I've had the same thing said to me about having kids. But don't you think it's time to start? What about kids? Don't you want to have a family when you get old? Uh, apparently, family does not mean friends at all Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Duke Memphis Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 I have no problem with kids. I want kids of my own someday, but the problem is how to beget them... I'm thinking test tube babies. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tasha the demi squirrel Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 13 hours ago, lucyrose_x said: I would hope they would be understanding, or at least accepting I've not told many either so my mum is the only person who although being accepting just doesn't understand which is why she says the things I commented but I hope when I explain again using a simple analogy she will understand 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tasha the demi squirrel Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 6 hours ago, tygersongbird said: I've had the same thing said to me about having kids. But don't you think it's time to start? What about kids? Don't you want to have a family when you get old? Uh, apparently, family does not mean friends at all When it comes to kids no one should feel obligated only you know when you are ready to have children if you even do want children......I would hate this sort of comment even more than the others because as much as I adore children having a condition called Turner syndrome means I may never be able to have children unless I try IVF or adopt (adoption sounds better to me) so if people said these things to me it would upset me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tyger Songbird Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 7 hours ago, Tasha27 said: When it comes to kids no one should feel obligated only you know when you are ready to have children if you even do want children......I would hate this sort of comment even more than the others because as much as I adore children having a condition called Turner syndrome means I may never be able to have children unless I try IVF or adopt (adoption sounds better to me) so if people said these things to me it would upset me Oh, wow. I know about Turner's syndrome. I worked in a psych firm, and I've seen how much struggle there is in having Turner's syndrome. Especially biologically. I don't think people think there is a lot of diversity genetically. People have a fixed mindset to believe that everyone who matters is normal and a fit partner. And somehow everyone is supposed to fit their worldview, not them change theirs. They can't see how wonderful our differences are, and how much people contribute to the world, no matter if we don't produce anyone after. My Turner patients were wonderful, and they really were nice and kind to people. However, all they could see was how they look like teens. Ugh, society. Get over itself with this fixation. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tasha the demi squirrel Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 47 minutes ago, tygersongbird said: I know about Turner's syndrome It's a nice change when someone knows what Turner syndrome is as most don't. 52 minutes ago, tygersongbird said: all they could see was how they look So a lack of confidence in appearance is apparent in most Turner's women? I thought it was an individual thing.....anyway I've always valued personality over looks so thank you for saying about how wonderful and kind the Turner's women you've known are ☺ 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gldlynch Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 I love watching Married At First Sight but whenever the 'experts' say "sexual chemistry is very important in an intimate relationship" I think NO, NOT TO OUR COMMUNITY. Sometimes I want them to phrase their insights better, like "sexual chemistry is important in many relationships." You know, we don't have to be acknowledged, but we shouldn't be ignored. Not every relationship is driven by sexual chemistry... 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
arekathevampyre Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 being called a plant or worse , being told about me doing asexual reproduction when I casually mentioned about it (like in cells) . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Duke Memphis Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 "You'll start thinking with your hormones. All boys do at some point." If by that you mean the dopamine my brain produces when I perform a difficult feat, then yes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tyger Songbird Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 8 hours ago, Tasha27 said: It's a nice change when someone knows what Turner syndrome is as most don't. So a lack of confidence in appearance is apparent in most Turner's women? I thought it was an individual thing.....anyway I've always valued personality over looks so thank you for saying about how wonderful and kind the Turner's women you've known are ☺ No, I didn't mean that. I was just saying that most people only notice that they don't grow in age like other kids, especially in high school. Most high school girls like to make fun of girls who don't "develop" in that way, because they aren't women without a pair of breasts or anything. It's so silly and ridiculous to think of, but people only see what they want to see. And they want to see sex because they have been force fed that since Barbie. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nimbus Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 This was before I knew about asexuality, but a few years ago one of my university teachers was rambling during a lecture, talking about human "needs" and "wants." He described needs as things like food, shelter, love, and sex. "We need sex, we need it," he said. I remember thinking "No, you're wrong," and nearly blurted something out to correct him. But then I looked around and realized none of my classmates seemed to be questioning it; if I said something, everyone would've thought I was weird, so I didn't. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tasha the demi squirrel Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 6 hours ago, tygersongbird said: No, I didn't mean that. I was just saying that most people only notice that they don't grow in age like other kids, especially in high school. Most high school girls like to make fun of girls who don't "develop" in that way, because they aren't women without a pair of breasts or anything. It's so silly and ridiculous to think of, but people only see what they want to see. And they want to see sex because they have been force fed that since Barbie. Ok I misunderstood thanks for clarifying.....I agree with you that it's ridiculous for people to judge based on Barbie standards 6 hours ago, nimbus said: This was before I knew about asexuality, but a few years ago one of my university teachers was rambling during a lecture, talking about human "needs" and "wants." He described needs as things like food, shelter, love, and sex. "We need sex, we need it," he said. I remember thinking "No, you're wrong," and nearly blurted something out to correct him. But then I looked around and realized none of my classmates seemed to be questioning it; if I said something, everyone would've thought I was weird, so I didn't. I've always thought the same way whenever I've heard someone talking about sex as a need.....it's not a need it's a desire we wouldn't die without it 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sibemarie Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 "Now you say that but one day you will get married and have children." Annoying, stupid and ridiculous. As if they want to cast a curse for us to be unhappy. This is the kind of mindset that ruined the life of so many asexuals through the ages in traditional conservative societies. I am almost 40. Always been like this, never ever wanted to marry or have children. Never changed. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tasha the demi squirrel Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 21 minutes ago, Sibemarie said: one day you will get married Again no one should feel obligated. Also this makes me question if the times I've dreamt of marrying one day (very rare occurance) are actually what I want or what society has taught me I should want??? We'll see lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tasha the demi squirrel Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 I got another annoying comment just last night from my brother who initially seemed positive and supportive about my demisexuality but finds my discomfort with sexual content on tv or in films "childish".......I don't know when sexual content on tv or in films became such the norm or how feeling uncomfortable with it makes me "childish" but it's annoying nevertheless 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.