Jump to content

Welcome Older Asexuals


Recommended Posts

Looks like it was originally posted in 2006, so that was a long time ago (in Internet terms!)....

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
35 minutes ago, teatree said:

Looks like it was originally posted in 2006, so that was a long time ago (in Internet terms!)....

Thanks, teatree. Apologies for not being more observant.
In 2006, I was still in my 40s *sigh*

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Decaf said:

In 2006, I was still in my 40s *sigh*

Times three and had just figured out my situation.

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, daveb said:

So that's where his user name comes from! :lol:

LOL!

 

 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

In 2006 I was just leaving my 40s (turned 50 that year), and had no clue about asexuality or where I fit. :) 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I first heard the word in 1979 or 80, but there wasn't a community or the internet etc, so there was no way to take that information any further.
In the early 2000s, someone set up an ace Yahoo group and that's when I began actually identifying as ace because I realised I wasn't alone.
I would have been 39 or 40 at that time. I'm 56 now.

Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, daveb said:

In 2006 I was just leaving my 40s (turned 50 that year), and had no clue about asexuality or where I fit. :) 

I know what you mean. "I don't want to have sex with a female and not interested in guys. What is wrong with me?" It wasn't a consuming thought, but it was in the back of my mind when someone would make a suggestion to me about so and so being available, or I know a friend/co-worker/cousin that is single. I generally didn't pursue the matter (the situation with the girl named Suzanne was the one time I did) because I was pretty sure the other person would have a different idea of where the pairing should go.

 

As far as I was concerned I just felt that I wanted a female 'friend', like a male buddy. Do things together, but not involve sex or romance.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't even know I didn't want sex. I thought I just needed to get much closer to someone emotionally first. And even then I thought I just didn't know how to do it right or that there was something wrong with me. I don't remember how I came across AVEN (something to do with wikipedia or google or some other random web wanderings post-relationship). And that's when it finally clicked. :)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

The way I describe my asexuality is to say that the way straight men feel about men, and straight women feel about women....that's how I feel about everyone.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 4 weeks later...
On 9/30/2017 at 0:10 PM, daveb said:

I didn't even know I didn't want sex. I thought I just needed to get much closer to someone emotionally first. And even then I thought I just didn't know how to do it right or that there was something wrong with me. I don't remember how I came across AVEN (something to do with wikipedia or google or some other random web wanderings post-relationship). And that's when it finally clicked. :)

That kind of becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy doesn't it? I thought of that too at times. "Why bother because with no experience I'll just screw it up".

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

I call myself asexual since I am 16 but only now I found out this is an 'official' sexual orientation. What a relief to know this as my whole life I considered myself as someone abmormal. I am in doubt however if I could be a 'semi sexual' although I am still not very familiar with these terms. 

Btw I am 46 year old woman ☺

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Daniela said:

I call myself asexual since I am 16

Welcome and :cake: !

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Jetsun Milarepa

There's been a whole lot of new peeps recently, so welcome! This is good news. In 2006 I was a 46 year old harassed single mum looking after an elderly mum and holding down a three shift rota job. I'd no time to think about sex:lol: so it wasn't till things quietened down that I began to see the light of asexuality.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Hello (again). I've been away for a while.  I'm trying to make the time to stay involved.  I need some kind of support network, especially during the holidays.  I intend to rejoin the DC area meetup group, even though I'm old enough to be everyone's mother (or grandmother).  Believe it or not, I was spurred on (pun intended) by BoJack Horseman-- Todd being an ACE, and the depiction of that as "being OK" just BLEW my MIND.  I'm sure it's been a major topic of conversation on AVEN. 
 

Anyway, good to be back, and though I find the sheer volume of forums, topics and posts to be overwhelming, I'll stick mostly to this one and see how it goes.

Cheers, Leigh :ph34r:

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello @vogonpoet and welcome back. I have never heard of Bojack Horseman, so apologies--I just Googled it to find out! Yes, there are sure a lot of forums here, but I tend to stick to just a couple so as to not get overwhelmed.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

There is so much here that I don't have time to post on more than one or two. The over 50 thread is about the only one I tend to check in on. But I read a lot. I am amazed that it took me so much of my life to figure out why I can't keep a relationship going no matter how much I want to. I am not usually that dense, LOL.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, vogonpoet said:

Hello (again). I've been away for a while.  I'm trying to make the time to stay involved.  I need some kind of support network, especially during the holidays.  I intend to rejoin the DC area meetup group, even though I'm old enough to be everyone's mother (or grandmother).  Believe it or not, I was spurred on (pun intended) by BoJack Horseman-- Todd being an ACE, and the depiction of that as "being OK" just BLEW my MIND.  I'm sure it's been a major topic of conversation on AVEN. 
 

Anyway, good to be back, and though I find the sheer volume of forums, topics and posts to be overwhelming, I'll stick mostly to this one and see how it goes.

Cheers, Leigh :ph34r:

That should keep you busy enough. Welcome back :)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello!  Just reintroducing myself to the all the "older asexuals!" LOL  I was here for a while some years ago, but life happened...  Anyway, I'm 52.  I'm pretty sure that classifies me as being "older," although I don't FEEL "older" at all!  Whenever I think about being 52, all I can think is, "That can't possibly be! I don't feel THAT old!"  Oh, well, I guess it's better than being 52 AND feeling my age! LOL

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome back ~pixie~:cake::cake:

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, daveb said:

Welcome back and :cake:

 

6 hours ago, chandrakirti said:

welcome back @pixie , the site seems to be edging towards 100,000 now according to what I've heard.

 

Thank you! :)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...

Hi, I'm Tracy. I'm 55, married with 3 kids and a cat. I've known I was asexual since my 40's (thank you, internet), but I've not told anyone. It would be nice to be able to talk to someone about it, but I don't have any friends and I can't exactly discuss it with my family.  I'm sure my husband suspects but we don't discuss it. He actually brought up the topic last week at dinner, mentioning something about asexuality and how he couldn't understand it - I just kept my mouth shut. I think he was giving me an opening, but I didn't bite. He is very sexual.  I swear to god he'd have sex every day if I was willing. Needless to say, sex has always been something of an issue between us, but after 35 years of marriage, we've managed to come up with a system that works for us.

 

Aside from the sex, I love being married - I like the companionship, having a family, having someone to share my life with, etc. My husband treats me like a princess and for that I am so grateful. Nevertheless, my sister is divorced and I can't help but look at her life and wonder sometimes what it would be like to be single and not have to have sex. But I'm not good with people and as I mentioned before, I don't have any friends so I'm guessing it would suck ass and I'd be lonely as hell. 

 

It's a funny thing, though. I always thought that by this time in my life, sex would be over and done with - or at least a rare occurrence. But no. He is almost 60 and his sex drive has not slowed down one bit. My god, will it ever end? Aren't older men supposed to have issues with impotence? But then again, there's viagra so if that were an issue, I'm sure he'd haul ass to the doctor before I could even start to enjoy the reprieve. 

 

So anyway, that's me and my life. I'm glad to have found this forum and look forward to getting to know everyone. 

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...