Mafia Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Hi. I'm a single, young guy, not bad looking, and I've been wondering whether or not I'm "asexual". I stumbled across this site on the internet, so I'm exploring it to see if asexuality is something that I have. The situation is as follows. I can see myself enjoying a relationship with a woman, but really, it would be for the purpose of having company. I used to think I was attracted to female bodies, but I'm not. I now realize that what I thought was attraction was only curiousity. I am a virgin, and I don't think I'd even be able to have sex with a woman if I wanted to. I know very strongly that I'm not gay, either. I'm simply not sexually attracted to anything. If I see female nudity, it's as if my body responds, but my mind doesn't. Back in my puberty days, I had wet dreams, but that was it. That was the closest I've ever come to being sexually aroused in any way. It's become rather annoying that society seems to be stressing sexuality more than ever. It is impossible for anyone to believe that I have never in my life masturbated or had sex, yet it is completely true. I have even, perhaps only musingly, considered Catholic priesthood, just because I'm questioning whether or not God intended for me to be this way. I don't know what to do anymore. My lack of sexual attraction is making me incredibly depressed. I can't fit in any relationship, I have no desire to date, and I make no effort to find friends, due to the fact that I have a social phobia, specifically a kind of agoraphobia (but that's a whole other issue). I'm not sure what to do anymore. It just looks as if things aren't going to work out for me, and although there seem to be signs in my life that I will succeed career-wise, I'm not sure if that's enough. :cry: Link to post Share on other sites
Worthless Poster Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Well hidy-ho there! Welcome to AVEN. Feel free to IM me (or prolly anyone else) to ask questions, get to know the asexy community, and we're glad to have you here! Link to post Share on other sites
emmaseek Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Hi Mafia, I'm new here, too - just posted my introductory message, and I sympathize. My situation is not the same as yours, but I think you're wrong about not being able to fit into "any" relationship. There are other asexual people out there who want "company" as well, and so if you look hard enough, I'm sure you can find them. As for not being comfortable in social situations, I think that many asexuals are introverts (I know I am) and as for myself, I am much more comfortable getting to know someone from behind a keyboard than over a drink!! Anyway, good luck, and don't let it get you down. If you look around the boards I'm sure you'll see you're not alone, not by a long shot. Link to post Share on other sites
Neko Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Welcome, Mafia! :) Link to post Share on other sites
LuvHuggS Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Hi. I'm a single, young guy, not bad looking, and I've been wondering whether or not I'm "asexual". I stumbled across this site on the internet, so I'm exploring it to see if asexuality is something that I have.The situation is as follows. I can see myself enjoying a relationship with a woman, but really, it would be for the purpose of having company. I used to think I was attracted to female bodies, but I'm not. I now realize that what I thought was attraction was only curiousity. I am a virgin, and I don't think I'd even be able to have sex with a woman if I wanted to. I know very strongly that I'm not gay, either. I'm simply not sexually attracted to anything. If I see female nudity, it's as if my body responds, but my mind doesn't. Back in my puberty days, I had wet dreams, but that was it. That was the closest I've ever come to being sexually aroused in any way. It's become rather annoying that society seems to be stressing sexuality more than ever. It is impossible for anyone to believe that I have never in my life masturbated or had sex, yet it is completely true. I have even, perhaps only musingly, considered Catholic priesthood, just because I'm questioning whether or not God intended for me to be this way. I don't know what to do anymore. My lack of sexual attraction is making me incredibly depressed. I can't fit in any relationship, I have no desire to date, and I make no effort to find friends, due to the fact that I have a social phobia, specifically a kind of agoraphobia (but that's a whole other issue). I'm not sure what to do anymore. It just looks as if things aren't going to work out for me, and although there seem to be signs in my life that I will succeed career-wise, I'm not sure if that's enough. :cry: Hi Mafia welcome to the forum, I can totally relate to your situation. Even to the agoraphobia to a degree. I don't think I suffer from agorphobia as such, but I'm quite at ease with spending most of my time just pottering around my own place. I don't find any need or want to go out "clubbing" and the like, thought once in a blue moon I will, then remember why I didn't like going out. Shoppings a case of know what i want, go in, get it, get out Lol. Yet every few years I go on a big holiday, visit friends from online for a few weeks, get totally out of my comfort zone and have a wonderful time, but a few weeks is plenty :) feel free to leave me PM. again welcome to the forum G Link to post Share on other sites
JKReagan99 Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Welcome to the board, Mafia :D -Josh Link to post Share on other sites
fluffy_hime Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 welcome! and don't despair just yet. Link to post Share on other sites
dabishop Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 What Fluffy said! It's not going to be easy, but the fact that you can lay out the problem as well as you have, means that there'll always be hope. To answer your last question first: No. From 12+ years in your future, I can tell you that career success is not enough. It makes certain things easier, but it doesn't excuse us from making the effort to connect -- even if we have to row through an ocean of jerks. Welcome aboard !! Link to post Share on other sites
wombat Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 Well, you sound EXACTLY like me. No, well....almost exactly....I have this really annoying fetish, but i try to ignore it. BUT EXACTLY OTHERWISE. My body kinda halfway responds to female nudidty....but my mind is "Um.....right....not feeling anything".....But yeah. I would think that your asexual. so, WELCOME! I'm glad to see that your doing this when your 18! It took me til 20 til i realized i wasn't just a "late bloomer". BUt you sound just like me. And there are plenty of us who want a realtionship with a member of the opposite sex...I DO! It's just that the idea of sex hasn't crossed my mind.....or it has and i think it's very funny and i have absolutly no compulsion to act on it. cause,....i know what sex IS.....so it must have crossed my mind....but i don't want to do it....and i would just like to take this oppurtunity to point out how absolutly ODD AND FUNNY it really is. But yes. Your not alone, and i would say your asexual! So that may be a good thing or a bad thing.....but whatever it may be, WELCOME! Link to post Share on other sites
Worthless Poster Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 Wombat~ I'm odd and funny... do I cross your mind? :-p Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 Hi Mafia! Welcome to AVEN! I know what you mean about it being really hard to fit into the society. everything is so centered around sex that there's really no place for nonsexual people. It definitely sucks. but you have us now :) hope you find some support on this board. Kate Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Welcome, Mafia! Been away. Sorry if my latest welcome messages have been real short lately :P Link to post Share on other sites
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