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Grumpy Alien

Abandoning your hamster on a Thursday between the hours of 08:34-10:12 is forbidden by law. Failure to comply will result in seizure of hamster.

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RoseGoesToYale

It is illegal to leave a car parked with any of its wheels at an angle if the car is parked on pavers.

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Skycaptain

You may not consume a Sundae on a Mondae 

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IrishArcher

It is illegal to host any social function which requires participants to dress in anything other than their pajamas.

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All the little Lights

Players of the banning game get banned automatically if they don't write the banning post while making a one-hand handstand on a bike.

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Kitteη χ

It is illegal to go straight through any intersection. Only turns are permitted.

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According to Law no. 1/2019, speaking is strictly prohibited.

Only texting allowed.

Ministry of Silence

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Skycaptain

You may legally  kill a Welshman with a bow and arrow if fired from the grounds of Hereford cathedral on a Sunday 

 

Believe it or not, something very similar to this was written in law by the British Parliament and not rescinded until well into the twentieth century 

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Kitteη χ

It is illegal to eat ice cream on prime numbered days.

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firewallflower

Users of internet forums who have, on at least three separate forums within the span of eight years, weeks, and ninety-three hours, changed usernames and/or avatars more than 6.334 and fewer than 100 times, are strictly forbidden from conversing, collaborating, or in any way coming into contact with ostrich farmers.

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Kitteη χ

It is illegal to not be doing anything illegal.

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  • 3 months later...

It is illegal to flush the toilet after 10pm - oh wait that's already a law. 

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It’s illegal to eat a Sunday dinner on any other day 

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

It is illegal to keep mermaids in swimming pools measuring less than 33 metres squared.

What's illegal on public transport?

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  • 4 months later...

It is illegal to believe that laws still exist for people who are using public transport.

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Whereas Natural Philosophy has proven itself to be a productive Method of studying the World, and

Whereas the Insights and Technologies gained as a Result of the aforementioned Studies are on balance both profitable and beneficial, and

Whereas the efficacy of Natural Philosophy is vitally dependent upon predictable Properties and patterned Paths, and

Whereas Persons can be described generally as neither predictable nor patterned, and

Whereas, owing to the Facts named above, it is imperative to prescribe Predictability and Pattern to all Persons,

Be it hereby resolved that no Person, while in a steady orbit around the Sun or other massive Body (hereafter known as The BODY), shall move in any Manner other than in the Shape of an Ellipse, which shall be positioned so as to locate one of its Foci within The BODY, unless said Person should be the acted upon by some Force that shall provide Propulsion. A Circle, being a particular kind of Ellipse, shall be considered acceptable, so long as The BODY is located at the Center Point of the Circle.

Furthermore, no Person, while moving without Propulsion in an Ellipse or a Circle around The BODY as described above, shall fail to increase their Speed while closer to The BODY or to decrease their Speed while further from the BODY, in the precise Manner hereby following: In any fixed Period of Time, a Line to be imagined as drawn from The BODY to said Person, shall always sweep an equal Area.

Furthermore, when any two or more Persons are moving without Propulsion in an Ellipse or a Circle around The BODY as described above, they shall not fail to arrange each Person's overall Speed such that the Square of the Time required for a full Rotation around The BODY is directly proportional to the Cube of each Person's Distance from The BODY, with the Distance to be calculated as being One Half of the Semi-major Axis of the Person's Ellipse.

 

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People must wear anti-eye-masks when walking in the streets -- that is, outfits that cover the entire body except for an eye-mask-shaped hole located where one would generally wear an eye mask.

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Phantasmal Fingers

Everyone on AVEN has to acquire a Fake Ted at least once a month.

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Duke Memphis

It is now forbidden to dunk chocolate in vodka if the chocolate is 70% or more cocoa, or if your vodka is at least 20 proof.

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It is illegal to n e r s h a l

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Phantasmal Fingers
31 minutes ago, SkyTuneRein said:

It's illegal not to break the law.

 

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Duke Memphis
11 hours ago, Kraken TEDx said:

It is illegal to n e r s h a l

It is illegal to prevent the formation of a n e r s h a l.

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