My Romantic Orientation Seems to have Changed; Can You Relate?

[Miss Anne Thrope]

Hey. I just want to talk about my apparently changing romantic orientation, to see if anyone else understands what's going on with me.

 

For the first three years of high school, I got crushes on only guys (about three in total). Then in grade 12, I had both a crush on a guy and my first crush on a girl. I've now been out of high school for 5 years, and since then I've only been romantically attracted to women (I even fell in love for the first time, and it was with a woman).

Over the last year, I've tried out online dating here and there, and I set my profiles to be open to both men and women. I did this thinking that I could become attracted to someone regardless of their gender. But recently, I've come to realize that I don't have any romantic interest in males at the moment. I've essentially become homoromantic (though I still consider myself biromantic, because I have absolutely experienced romantic attraction to males before).

 

Can anyone relate to this?

[fatal flower-boy]

Ugh, I can relate!

I always question who I'm attracted to. I teeter between heteromantic and biromantic, and one time even panromantic, but I've never dated anyone so it's just speculation about how I would feel towards someone. I mean,  so far I've had only crushes on guys, but I feel if got to know a girl who I was attracted to, maybe something could be there?And  then I just think I'm aromantic because some days I'm just like "What's love? gross"

 

So now I just say I'm greyromantic. On a spectrum of sOMETHING.

Don't worry, we'll figure it out one day!

[Bloc]

I can relate to changing romantic orientation. In retrospect, I would say I was aromantic until I was 31 or last year, although I did not know the term then. I was not in love with anyone  and also I had no interest in dating to start a relationship. I tried online dating for a few months because you are supposed to get into a relationship, but the interest faded soon. Then at 31 I suddenly fell in love with a long female friend. After she did not reciprocate myfeelings, I knew I still want a romantic relationship, however I am not desperately searching for one. So I considered myself heteroromantic/-sexual. About half a year later I fell in love with an long make friend, however didn't find the courage to open up to him yet. So now I am considering myself panromantic.

 

I believe the last change in my identification is not a real orientation change, but I just realized a new facet of my romantic orientation. The first is definitely a change in orientation, as my attitude towards relationship changed fundamentally.

[Zefron]

Yeah, I can relate to this, and I have been struggling with this! I can't really find any terms or many people with a long-term, one way, sexuality shift like mine. I'm not abrosexual, because it isn't like a constant fluctuation, and I don't switch between genders. 

 

I'm 22 and biromantic asexual, but until I was 19 I was definitely heteroromantic demisexual. Then I had a year where I became super confused and uncomfy with my identity. Sex with my bf started to gross me out, and I started having crushes on girl's.  Just last year I finally solidly connected with the label biromantic asexual.

 

I'm really glad to hear some others have felt this.  I've been playing around with making a term, but I don't know if I really like any of them.

sustained flux, and paudurosexual (from pauci- few, perduro-sustained)

[Carmine88]

I have no idea what I like anymore. I used to get crushes on guys but when I found out their personality I stopped liking them. I think I like the romantic idea of someone but then the image gets ruined. Now I'm pretty confused about it. I could picture myself with another woman but I've never really liked anybody enough. I think maybe I'm on the edge of biromantic. I haven't liked a guy in years though. The closest I got is Lee Pace as Thranduil. At the minute it's just fictional characters.

[Twisted Tempest]

Grew up all my life up into last year thinking I was aromantic, but towards the end of last year, I became romantically attracted to my best friend. I'm not sure if that's quite the same as what happened with you all, but I can at least relate in that there has been a shift. 

[Sunflowerfield]

Yeah, I had similar experiences. I crushed on men and women in my teenage years and early twenties, but now I only seem to crush on women. I think it's possible I could fall in love with a guy or crush on one, but it just hasn't happened for about three years now. 

[Zefron]

After thinking, maybe this is what is meant when people thoughtlessly throw around the phrase "sexuality is fluid." And that my sexuality just changed. (Not trying to speak for anyone else's experiance).