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nerdperson777

I was looking up some details on an upcoming anime yesterday and then I come across an article on LGBTQ+ in 2019 anime.  I was curious so I decided to read it.  To my surprise, the last one on the list was about my favorite character from when I first found out about being trans.  This character was truly me, I was 19 (at the time) like the character, approximately the same short height, had the same hair before I cut it, physically weak, studied all the time, and believed that I could be good one day without natural talent (compared to a prestigious lineage in the anime).  So it was about him after the events of the series he was first in.  The article claimed that he was gay, longing for the companion he lost in the original series.  I'm wondering now, what if he's just ace?  He becomes a great teacher but cares not for the reputation that comes with it, as he wants to have the skills, not just the ability to help others get their skills.  Apparently many of his female students consider him very attractive but he doesn't care at all.  I watched a scene just now, where he has to stay overnight somewhere, and he's wondering why he has to share a room with a girl from a prestigious lineage.  She joked that it's good for child bearing and he's totally not having it.  I know I wouldn't either.  Then she basically said that his genetics were trash anyway.  It probably wouldn't have been good anyway because it's a young girl and he's a grown man.  Well, just because he wants his companion back might just mean he only cares about his friend.  It doesn't have to be romantic.  The only thing he's done so far is talk to one of the companion's keepsake, which isn't inherently romantic.

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PoeciMeta

@nerdperson777 Who is this character, out of curiosity?

If you know of good anime with good LGBTQ+ representation, I'd gladly take your recommendations ^^

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Celyn
3 hours ago, PoeciMeta said:

@nerdperson777 Who is this character, out of curiosity?

If you know of good anime with good LGBTQ+ representation, I'd gladly take your recommendations ^^

Seconded!

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nerdperson777
17 hours ago, PoeciMeta said:

@nerdperson777 Who is this character, out of curiosity?

If you know of good anime with good LGBTQ+ representation, I'd gladly take your recommendations ^^

 

13 hours ago, Celyn said:

Seconded!

I'm not really into anime.  I just watch whatever my friends tell me to watch.  It's Waver Welvet from the Fate series.  Fate/Zero was when he was young.  He gets the title Lord El-Melloi II when he is a professor.  I was watching Lord El-Melloi II's Case Files.

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Sarah-Sylvia
17 hours ago, PoeciMeta said:

@nerdperson777 Who is this character, out of curiosity?

If you know of good anime with good LGBTQ+ representation, I'd gladly take your recommendations ^^

I heard Sweet Blue Flowers isn't a bad anime and has some lgbtq stuff in it, and seems nice.

I watched a little bit of Wandering Son , which is a transgender anime, and actually from what I remember it was pretty good. I didn't finish it but talking about it again makes me curious. :)

There are some others, but I don't know enough about them, and the other ones I do know are kind of silly :P
There's
Yuri!!! On ICE which is a homosexual one. I haven't watched it, dunno how good it is. Anyway. Those 3 are maybe worth it.

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Destan

I'm on my way to buy a new smartphone and,

I'd like to know why the black one is more expensive than the other colors??

I'm forced to buy a pink one because it's cheaper (black: 200 euros, pink: 150)

Is this color discrimination?

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Celyn

Reverse pink tax? Wow, usually the pink ones are more expensive. 

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Custard Cream

That is weird. Maybe they are just getting rid of an overstock of pink?

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Destan
3 hours ago, Celyn said:

Reverse pink tax? Wow, usually the pink ones are more expensive. 

Really? When I did my research on phones usually the black one is more expensive than any other color.

2 hours ago, Custard Cream said:

That is weird. Maybe they are just getting rid of an overstock of pink?

Dunno, the store only has pink and black. I was actually disappointed because on the packaging, there were clearly options for gray and blue but they only had the other colors in stock. 😕

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Custard Cream
3 minutes ago, Destan said:

Really? When I did my research on phones usually the black one is more expensive than any other color.

Dunno, the store only has pink and black. I was actually disappointed because on the packaging, there were clearly options for gray and blue but they only had the other colors in stock. 😕

that's annoying.  Pink wouldn't be my choice either.  Mines a dark teal colour.  Although, if you put it in a case the colour will be pretty much hidden anyway.  You can't actually tell what colour mine is inside a purple case.

 

 

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anisotrophic

I like to call it salmon! (See colors names by gender results here 😂 https://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/ )

 

You can get a case that covers most of it anyways, that's how mine is. (Which is salmon. Excuse me, "coral". lol. See also the "not pink" Pixel phone, that's literally the color name! 😛)

 

As for pricing, I often see pink options cheaper on Amazon when shopping, esp. for kids, I'm guessing because they end up with too much stock because most people refuse to buy pink for boys. (And at some point one's AMAB kids may actually reject it because they get teased by other kids at school, it's really sad but true.)

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PoeciMeta

Hilarious link @anisotrophic~

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Destan
1 hour ago, anisotrophic said:

I like to call it salmon! (See colors names by gender results here 😂 https://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/ )

 

You can get a case that covers most of it anyways, that's how mine is. (Which is salmon. Excuse me, "coral". lol. See also the "not pink" Pixel phone, that's literally the color name! 😛)

My family said the same thing about a phone case. Although, I agree that it's a good solution, I just really dislike pink. (bad memories)

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Iridium

Buy the pink one, then spray-paint it.

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nerdperson777
On 1/3/2020 at 9:32 PM, nerdperson777 said:

I'm not really into anime.  I just watch whatever my friends tell me to watch.  It's Waver Welvet from the Fate series.  Fate/Zero was when he was young.  He gets the title Lord El-Melloi II when he is a professor.  I was watching Lord El-Melloi II's Case Files.

I guess I finished the whole 13 episode season now.  Don't know when they'll release another one.  There was a funny ace moment in the last episode.  After the events of the previous episode, he ended up in the hospital.  It's nothing that serious, as he's physically frail and has needed treatment many times in these 13 episodes.  (I really don't know how he managed to be 5' 2" at 19 and grow an entire foot by the time he got to his 30s.)  His two top students visited him in the hospital and one gave him a get well gift.  The student explained that it was a top gift for guys who like Japanese video games, which he got into after the events in Zero.  He looks inside the bag and it's like a magazine or game guide for a dating sim or something.  The book was called "Exciting Love" with girls on the cover, so I can only guess.  He did not like the gift and comically strangled his face.  Afterwards, the female student whose ultimate goal is to be his mistress walked in and climbed his bed seductively.  He just ordered them all out of the room.  In another episode, the female student was at the mall looking at lingerie and said she thinks he's a virgin.  That's very ace sounding.

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Starbogen

This might be a controversial topic idk but does anyone ever watch videos about people who detransition or say they regret transitioning and kinda get scared?

For some reason I always click on those and they make me uncomfortable every time. All the reasons people talk about usually have to do with trauma they hadn't dealt with or internalized misogyny or other things I thought about a lot while I was questioning my gender, but still I can't help the little bit of doubt at the back of my head thinking "what if I didn't consider it enough or missed something? What if I've been wrong this whole time and will only realize once I'm on hormones?" 

And then ultimately I stop worrying about it because I know at least on the social aspect of transitioning it's been like four years and I still definitely prefer living as male and wouldn't want to go back, plus I'm definitely uncomfortable with having a female body... so.. to me that seems like it should be enough to stop doubting myself. But then I think, well surely those people also thought the same thing at some point? Like I always wonder how long it was between them figuring out they were trans to them transitioning to them then figuring out they weren't actually trans (well, in the case of those who weren't. I know there are some trans people who choose to detransition for other personal reasons but here I'm talking about people who end up feeling like they were wrong about their original conclusions about their gender).. Anyway and then my mind kinda goes in circles like that until I forget about it.

It's just kinda scary because there seem to be people who transition and live like that for years and then feel the need to detransition.. others who are doubting themselves all the way to the start of HRT but once they're on it feel like it was for sure right for them.. 

I have a lot of reasons to believe it's the right thing for me but it's still scary to be reminded from time to time that you can't really be 100% sure until you just live it (or at least I can't like that, but maybe that's just the kind of person I am).

Like for example I couldn't even call myself trans until after I actually started socially transitioning bit by bit and realized I didn't want to go back. 

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Celyn

@Starbogen As long as you can go back and calm down and know that you're happy on the path you're on, I think it's all good.

You're right that detransiton seems to be because they had unresolved trauma and mental health issues and they though that transition would magically solve everything - maybe many of them really were trans but because they still had say depression after transition, they thought "Why isn't living as this gender making me happy?" So thought it wasn't the right choice.

Also I think a lot of them are nonbinary but transitioned to a binary gender because of lack of enby visibility and education, and so the other binary gender is just as wrong for them as their AGAB.

 

And it's OK to not be 100% sure before trying things. Nobody would ever do anything if they had to wait until they were absolutely certain that they were taking the right path. That's life.

(Ash Harrell made a beautiful uplifting video about transition doubts being normal and OK, I forget what it was called.)

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anisotrophic
13 hours ago, Celyn said:

I think a lot of them are nonbinary but transitioned to a binary gender because of lack of enby visibility

I think I would've transitioned earlier if I'd known, but instead spent several years doing angry egg things...

 

16 hours ago, Starbogen said:

It's just kinda scary because there seem to be people who transition and live like that for years and then feel the need to detransition.. others who are doubting themselves all the way to the start of HRT but once they're on it feel like it was for sure right for them.. 

Seems like evidence that being *too* sure about something is a bad sign?

 

I don't think I was ever 100% sure, but no regrets so far.

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Iridium

With any Major Life Choice, there's always some people who realize later on that they regret their decision.  If you're scared that that might be you (with whatever choice, not just gender things), do your research beforehand and take small steps if possible.

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Starbogen

Fucking hell between my parents talking about me while they thought I couldn't hear and a receptionist at the psych office who doesn't know me I've heard my birthname like six fucking times today and I just woke up. 

And ugh I have to go out to a psych appointment in a couple hours. Today sucks already.

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frostboot

I like to think that my relationship with my parents is fully healed after the whole coming out fiasco but sometimes I realize that I'm still pretty damn bitter. 

A while ago, me and my mom was at a talk about trans people, and the speaker was telling us about a teen's experiences with transphobia when my mom decided to raise her hand to loudly exclaim how baffled she is that people would misgender and deadname someone like that. She said she couldn't understand the mindset of someone who doesn't use the right name, as if that is not exactly what she had intentionally been doing just a few years earlier. It hit me with this wave of resentment that I'm still not sure of how to deal with. 
I love my parents but I don't know if the hurt they have caused me will ever fully heal and that can be a pretty tough thought to bear. 

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Starbogen

Ahh I told my parents they could choose a middle name for me if they wanted.. I don't particularly feel the need for one since I've never had one but my little brothers do and idk I thought it might be something that might make my parents feel a bit more included and appreciated in the process of my transition.. Like I'm not called the name they gave me anymore but they can choose a new one.

I'm not actually sure how good of an idea that was but eh it could make me feel nice too to have a middle name, lots of people here have one and I always lowkey felt like the odd one out. And well, if I hate it then we can negotiate I guess XD

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Lonemathsytoothbrushthief
On 1/18/2020 at 7:49 PM, frostboot said:

I like to think that my relationship with my parents is fully healed after the whole coming out fiasco but sometimes I realize that I'm still pretty damn bitter. 

A while ago, me and my mom was at a talk about trans people, and the speaker was telling us about a teen's experiences with transphobia when my mom decided to raise her hand to loudly exclaim how baffled she is that people would misgender and deadname someone like that. She said she couldn't understand the mindset of someone who doesn't use the right name, as if that is not exactly what she had intentionally been doing just a few years earlier. It hit me with this wave of resentment that I'm still not sure of how to deal with. 
I love my parents but I don't know if the hurt they have caused me will ever fully heal and that can be a pretty tough thought to bear. 

*Offers hugs* regardless of their current behaviour just know that when you're feeling upset, you have every right to take some time just to be around people who have never hurt you like that. ❤️ We all have had to start with some pretty transphobic parents, family, friends, partners etc and they shouldn't expect the hurt to go away so easily. I at least hope that your parents are capable of recognising these moments and how they effectively rub salt in the wound.

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frostboot
4 hours ago, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said:

*Offers hugs* regardless of their current behaviour just know that when you're feeling upset, you have every right to take some time just to be around people who have never hurt you like that. ❤️ We all have had to start with some pretty transphobic parents, family, friends, partners etc and they shouldn't expect the hurt to go away so easily. I at least hope that your parents are capable of recognising these moments and how they effectively rub salt in the wound.

Thank you! It's sad that starting out with transphobic family is the standard! 

My parents seem to be in denial about how they have hurt me so its hard to make them recognize how these moments are harmful. My dad is even worse in that regard; I once mentioned some awful thing he had said and he flat out denied that it ever happened. I think he has genuinely forgotten/repressed it, but I can't do that. I tend to not dwell on it but it's pretty unfair that he gets to escape the past but I don't. 

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